Heart of Flame – Chapter 4
I'm not even going to try and apologise! Sorry for keeping so many of you waiting far too long. I'm going to be better, I swear – there are moments in this story that I really want to write! Thanks to Amber for giving me a hurry up.
Thanks to all who have reviewed especially STEPH! And also Amber (PitBullLover). Steph – sorry I haven't been on AIM – will try and be on this weekend to talk to you!
Friday afternoon, Heartland.
Jazz sighed as she maneuvered her wheelchair slowly into the Fleming's big ranch house. She was exhausted after a week at Jefferson High. It wasn't quite as bad as I expected, though. Apart from a bit of initial curiosity, as soon as Amy had told everyone that Jazz was a rider, she was generally accepted by all the kids. The area around Heartland was filled with equestrians and Jazz was sure this was why she was so welcome – people knew she was here to help her horse.
It wasn't that the week had been exhausting mentally – Jazz was well able to keep up with the schoolwork and had easily held her own. It was the sheer hard work of getting round the three levels of Jefferson High in a wheelchair – not an easy feat for someone who hadn't actually been in one for that long. Several times Jazz had been glad that Amy was there to keep an eye out for her as she went sprawling to the ground in the crush of high school students.
She'd made several casual friends but really, she wasn't looking for long-term friends – Jazz wasn't someone who needed a best friend there by her side the whole way. Well, up until now. Until now she'd always had Flame. Now … Now she didn't want to think about.
After seeing Amy and her friends stick up for her against Ashley the first day, Jazz had concluded that she might as well be friends with the older girl. Though her jealousy was always there, pulsing quietly in the background, she made an effort to be all sweetness and light when Amy was around – after all, she was the one healing Flame.
Ashley. Jazz really had no words to describe the girl. Arrogant, conceited – she thought she knew everything about … well, everything! After the first embarrassing incident on the first day of school, she had mainly avoided Amy and Jazz – though Jazz was pretty sure she had heard Ashley muttering snide remarks out of the corner of her mouth as she went by.
But now wasn't the time to be worrying about Ashley. Today, for the first time, Amy was actually going to work with Flame! Jazz had been eager for her to begin work straight away, but with numerous other horses in the barn and rain every day that week, Amy and Ty simply hadn't had time.
Today, Friday, was sunny – at last. Heartland, unfortunately, didn't have the luxury of an indoor arena – and Amy didn't particularly want to stand out in the rain with Flame for hours. Today was the day.
Jazz had been put out when Amy suggested that she didn't watch the first few sessions, but the older girl had patiently explained that Flame might be affected by her presence, and she really just wanted to make him focus on concentrating and bonding with her. She'd told Jazz to wait an hour, then come down to the barn so she could say goodnight to the horse.
The past three months had been so hard for Jazz, not being able to be on Flame's back – not even being able to communicate with him properly. He was the first – and only – horse she'd had after moving off ponies, and the bond the two of them shared – well, she'd thought it was unbreakable. Now, with Flame's adverse reaction to her whenever she came near – Jazz wasn't so sure. And it was breaking her heart.
I need to get back up on him. I need him to see me as I was before.
Jazz was impatient. She always had been. What she wanted this time, she didn't know. To be well? To ride again? She smiled softly. Right now, all she wanted was to hug her horse goodnight.
Forty-five minutes to go.
Flame nickered softly as Amy opened his stable door. "Yes, I know, Flamey. Finally you get to come out for some real exercise!" Flame had been turned out in a small paddock by himself every day, but this was the first time he would be going into the round pen to work with Amy.
The chestnut gelding rubbed his head against her arm affectionately as she clipped his leadrope to the halter he was already wearing. Amy took a moment to rub the bright white blaze on his head which tapered down to an elegant drop of white on his muzzle. Flame was certainly one of the most calm and friendly horses she had worked with yet – frankly, she just couldn't see what Lisa Fletcher meant when she said he was crazy and traumatised.
I mean, sure, there was that incident when he went crazy in his stall – but that was after Jazz had fallen over and made a lot of noise in her wheelchair. Could it be possible that Flame isn't as traumatised as that woman made to sound out?
But she hadn't even tried to join up with him yet. This was no time to be making assumptions about the horse.
Flame followed behind Amy, keeping a respectful distance away from her while still following willingly. She opened the gate into the round pen and turned Flame around, then unclipped the leadrope and stood back, waiting to see him run off. She wondered if he'd be as excited about his newfound freedom as Katie, the young dressage mare, had been a few days ago when she'd joined up with her for the second time. She and Ty were taking the next step this weekend – letting Ty stay in the arena while Amy joined up with the nervous mare. Though she longed to think some more about Ty – they'd had hardly any time together with all the horses needing attention that week - Amy shook her thoughts back to Flame.
Curiously, he wasn't exploding like Katie had. After giving Amy a quizzical look, he trotted over to the other side of the arena and sniffed at the mix of rubber and sand on the ground, then lay down and rolled thoroughly. After shaking and snorting, Flame then trotted back to Amy, both ears fixed on her.
He stopped two steps away, giving her that same curious look as before. She could almost see the thoughts running through his mind – what does she want me to do?
Stepping forward, she flicked the leadrope gently at Flame, and he moved back. She flicked it again and moved towards him. Flame moved away and began walking. She flicked the leadrope once more and he broke into a trot, responding and trotting around her in a circle as she turned her body. After just a few seconds of trot his ear was fixed firmly on her and he began slowing, making chewing motions with his jaw.
Amy was amazed. What? So fast? She'd never had a horse do this before – never had one respond to her presence so quickly. Most of the other horses she'd worked with had been reluctant to acknowledge her at all within the first few minutes of her attempt at join up. They'd been far too busy enjoying the freedom of galloping around the round pen.
To test Flame, she stopped whirling the leadrope and turned away. Within seconds she heard hoofbeats as he walked calmly towards her. Then, she felt the soft huff of warm horse breath as he hung his head over her shoulder. Rubbing his blaze again, she murmured softly to Flame. Inside, Amy was jubilant. That's the quickest join up I've ever done with any horse!
Turning, making sure that she wasn't touching Flame, Amy walked away. He followed her without hesitation, practically begging her to let him come too. She ran faster around the round pen and Flame trotted straight behind her. Over a small jump of about 60 cm – no problem, Flame trotted over it as though it was nothing more than a pole. Well, it probably isn't more than a twig to him, after doing prelim horse trials! Amy chuckled.
Stopping in the middle of the arena, she waited a moment. Sure enough, Flame stopped straight behind her. Turning around, Amy saw that his bright, intelligent eyes were fixed on her, waiting to see what she would do next. She moved around to his side and, as she had with Katie, began stroking and massaging all over. Flame relaxed, cocking one leg up and sighing deeply, his whiskery muzzle drooping lower.
After a few minutes of this, Amy placed her hands on his back and leant some weight against him. Flame flinched sharply and his whole body went tense – as if even the thought of her mounting him was scary. Amy spoke to him softly, reassuring the gelding that she wasn't going to hurt him. He relaxed again.
Having achieved this, and sure she had forged some sort of bond with the horse, Amy decided they'd done enough for the day. Clipping the leadrope back on, she looked at her watch. I can't believe it's six already! Jazz would be coming down soon to see how they'd gone.
After putting Flame back in his stable, Amy stood there in the hallway, just watching him. Though she was a feed in the manger and a full haynet, Flame didn't seem interested in any of that. He simply stood at the door, eyes fixed firmly on Amy.
Hearing footsteps, Amy turned around as Ty slipped his arms over her shoulders and leaned over her, looking at Flame. "Haven't had a chance to talk to you all day, Amy. How's it going?"
She leaned back on his chest gratefully, for the first time realising how tired she was. "Good." Amy replied, yawning. Ty hugged her gently.
"Tired?"
"Sure am. I'm so glad it's the weekend … I can finally work with Flame. You should have seen him, Ty. I've never joined up that quickly with a horse!"
Flame nickered softly, keen for their attention to return to him. Ty nodded. "I've never seen a horse so desperate to be friends with anyone."
"Makes me wonder what happened to him – and to Jazz." Amy replied.
"What do you mean?" Ty looked at her quizzically.
"Flame was fine with me on the ground, but as soon as I put some weight onto his back he got upset. And Jazz – just the fact that she's in a wheelchair is … strange. I need to know what happened to them – both of them. It might make a difference to how I much I can heal Flame."
Ty nodded. "But – Amy, anyone can see Jazz has been through a lot. I wouldn't push her too fast, too far. She's only been here a week, she's adjusting to a completely new life with people who she hasn't known very long. Just … be careful."
"I will be. Don't worry. I don't want to make things any worse for Jazz. It's got to be hard enough not being able to ride your horse, let alone get near to him."
"Speaking of getting near to people …" Ty looked down at her, a mischievous gleam in his eyes, and Amy felt her heart race a little faster. Even after being Ty's girlfriend for months now, she still felt that same flutter of excitement every time he kissed her. She grinned back at him, feeling like an idiot.
Ty took her hand and gently led her into the tack room, away from the all-knowing eyes of the horse that was still watching both of them intently.
Jazz peered around the corner of the barn, trying to see if Amy or Ty were around. There seemed to be no sign of either of them – only the horses who all stared at Jazz and the noise she made for a second, and then returned to the important business of dinner. Except for one.
Flame's head shot up and his ears pricked, pointing straight up, as he caught sight of his owner. Jazz broke into a smile as she saw his gorgeous, familiar chestnut face. "Heya, Flamey boy! How're you doing?"
He snorted loudly as her wheelchair bumped along a rut in the ground. Jazz kept her voice low and soothing. "Hey, hey, it's alright, Flamey. Don't worry, boy, I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay."
When she was right up close to his stable door, Jazz slid the bolt back quietly, then looked around furtively to see if anyone was coming. Why should I feel so secretive about going to see my own horse? She scolded herself. But that niggling feeling that she was putting herself – and Flame – in danger wouldn't leave her head.
Holding onto the swinging door, Jazz managed to pull herself upright, and sort of lurch into the stable. Flame backed up into the corner of his stall, blowing air through his nostrils loudly – the way horses do when they're not sure what's happening. Jazz spoke soothingly, but his distress only increased.
She tried to move closer to him, but her grip suddenly slipped and she let go of the door. With nothing to balance her now, and her legs so unresponsive they might as well be nonexistent, Jazz let out a soft cry as she tumbled to the ground.
She jarred her arm hard on the ground and cursed as the hoofbeats behind her grew louder. Flame was panicking. And it's all my fault. Stupid, stupid, Jazz!
Jazz cursed louder as the stable door swung open with a slow creak. Turning to look at Flame, trying desperately to move, she realised what the horse was doing. He was scared. Frightened badly, he saw his only route of escape as the open door. There was only one problem.
She was lying directly in his path.
Whereas before she had been scared for Flame, Jazz was now terrified for herself. What will happen if he tramples me? Oh, shit, Flame I didn't mean to do this, I shouldn't have, all I wanted to do was say goodnight to you! She tried to talk to him.
"Flame. Please. Who-oah, boy, calm down … whoah …"
It was no use. All 16.1hh of Flame were ready to flee, and he gathered his courage to make a bid for freedom. Too late, Jazz knew remembered that horses were a flight animal – did she think she could make Flame understand what had happened to her merely by talking to him? He was scared – and when horses are scared, they run. Hard. And fast.
Curling into herself protectively, Jazz winced, waiting for the crashing hooves to fall upon her shoulders and perhaps end the pain that was all over her body forever. There was no way she could survive her horse smashing her skull with his hooves.
Suddenly, there was a shout outside the stable. "Shit – Ty, Flame's door is open! And Jazz's chair … oh my god –" Amy's voice was panic-stricken. "Jazz, where are you?"
"In here – please – Amy –" Jazz flung her arm out, the sudden motion stopping Flame in his tracks. The older girl's face appeared over the stable door and she gasped as she saw Jazz on the floor, inches away from Flame's flailing hooves. "JAZZ!"
Flinging the door open, Amy grabbed Jazz's arm and half dragged her out of the stable. Jazz was numb, unresponsive – Amy was sure that shock was setting in. Suddenly, strong hands were helping her carry the younger girl and Amy looked in shock at Ty's worried green eyes. "What was she thinking?" Ty shook his head and motioned to the open stall door and terrified horse. Amy swore and bolted the door quickly. She didn't have time to calm Flame right now – her duty at the moment was to Jazz.
She half stumbled, half ran into the tack room after Ty, where he had placed Jazz on one of the flimsy plastic chairs surrounding a table, on which were piled numerous dog-eared horse magazines.
"Amy –"
"Ty – thanks. But it's okay. I can handle this now." Amy was determined to be the one in control this time. Ty shot her a worried glance, but went out the door when she gestured to him.
Going over to Jazz, Amy took her hand and squeezed it, trying to see if she would respond. There was a vague, glassy look in her deep brown eyes – as if she couldn't see Amy in front of her.
"Jazz? Jazmine!" Amy shouted her name.
Jazz's eyes flickered, and she began shivering suddenly. "Amy? I … Amy! I'm sorry, I don't know …"
"It's okay. You're alright, Jazz. You're inside."
Jazz looked around, only just seeming to realise where she was.
"What were you doing? I would have thought after last time, you'd realise …"
The younger girl looked up at her, dark eyes piercing Amy's. "I just wanted to give him a hug! Is that too much to ask, Amy? Is it too much for me to want to hug my own horse?"
"Jazz, he's scared of you! He's frightened! You can't just go up to him and try and hug him like this! And what were you thinking, trying to get out of your wheelchair? You know darn well you can't even move, let alone walk!"
Both girls' eyes were flashing now, conveying the anger they felt towards the other. "I just wanted to say goodnight to him! You don't know how it feels Amy, damn you, you don't know!" Jazz cried. "I can't touch my horse, let alone ride him! How can you lecture me when you don't know what it's like? You don't know anything about what it's like to be me!"
Amy's glance softened. It was true. She didn't know anything about what it was like to be Jazz. She needed to. "Jazz," she began gently. "I need you to tell me what happened. To you and Flame. It doesn't matter what it was – a riding accident or whatever. I need to know – I can only heal him when I know how he was hurt and made to be scared in the first place."
To her surprise, the younger girl's eyes filled with angry tears. "I can't and I won't. I'm not telling you anything."
Amy stared at her in disbelief. She felt like shaking the girl. "Don't you care, Jazz? Don't you care about Flame? I have to know why he's scared."
But there was no response. Jazz simply turned her head away and ignored her.
Kind of short I know, but I really wanted to get this up tonight since I'm going to a dance tomorrow night! WOOT! It's going to be really fun … yea, that's all from me, please PLEASE review – you get ginger muffins and horsey hugs from Frankie if you do.
Oh yes – I LOVE DUNS!
That is all I have to say!