"...so as you can see with this graph, the level of insanity here at Hogwarts has gone up 32.7 percent in the last week. If we continue to follow this steady incline, we could be faced with total insanity by the end of the month." Professor McGonagall vanished the graph with a wave of her wand. "Does anyone have any suggestions or thoughts on how we could prevent this complete travesty from occurring?"
Professor Sprout exchanged glances with the other teachers, before speaking up. "Minerva, dear," she said gently. "We all agree with you completely, but I think I can speak for everyone when I say that some of the... um, 'craziness' would diminish if you would let everyone take off their raincoats, water-wings, and galoshes."
"But what will we do when the merpeople start to invade?"
Snape rolled his eyes, "For the last time- the merpeople can't leave the lake!"
And so another staff meeting at Hogwarts began.
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Outside, Neville practiced walking with a pimp cane.
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"I just really want to make him suffer, you know. Make him feel what I was feeling," Harry took a sip out of his oversized teacup and made a face. "I said Sweet and Low, not sugar! Are you trying to kill me? My thighs are fat enough, thankyouverymuch!" He shoved the teacup away and stuck his lower lip out in a pout.
Hagrid blinked, "Harry, if I didn't know any better I'd say you'd grown a pussy over the last couple of weeks."
Harry's eyes brimmed with tears. "WHY MUST YOU POINT OUT MY SHORTCOMINGS? You know I'll never be able to bear children!" With a strangled sob, he fled the hut.
Hagrid sighed, "I'm really starting to hate this job."
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Draco was seated on his bed in a pair of silk pajamas, surrounded by mountains of food. He was currently plowing his way through a pizza, and listening to the Phantom of the Opera. "I'll always love you Erik," he mumbled. "Stupid Christine."
On the other side of the room, Crabbe and Goyle exchanged glances.
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"I mean, you have a threesome with a convict and your best friend's dad one time, and suddenly you're a slut? Who made those rules?" Hermione finished lacing up her red corset and adjusted her crotchless panties. "Okay, you ready Grawp?"
"GRAWP HORNY!"
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Lucius Malfoy twiddled his thumbs.
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Argus Filch pried open the large crate labeled 'Acme Explosives' and cackled gleefully. He was going to get that Gum Sticking Bastard. He was going to get him good.
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k you leik better revew or ill get mah posse to kill u ded. Luv ya! kisses