Title: Misdemeanors

Disclaimer: Language, violence, angst, and slash.

POV: Speed

Chapter Eleven: Pain of Life

I don't remember much about the trip to the hospital. In fact, I only remember bits and pieces of the car hitting me. It hurt like hell, that's easy to remember. When it hit me, did I fall to the pavement or did I go up onto the hood? The first thought that ran through my mind was something akin to, 'I can't believe it actually hit me'. My second thought was about all the bad luck that seems to be following me around lately. Life is a pain.

I sit on a bench down by the beach on a sunny day. No idea how long ago the accident went down, really don't care either. Resting on the bench beside me is a cane. My left leg has been screwed up since that damn car ran me over. I haven't talked with anyone from the lab in roughly a week, I think, time is sketchy. I think my brain is trying to hide from me what really happened in the last few days, or weeks, or whatever. I've read numerous reports on how extremely traumatic events can be blocked out. What better to block out than being hit by a car?

The breeze coming in off the ocean feels wonderful on my skin. All the people on the beach having fun almost ruin the oddly peaceful sound of the waves coming ashore. Maybe I'll spend the rest of my life sitting here on the bench, enjoying the sun and the surf. If only it didn't get so damn hot here. I run a hand over the ugly scar on my left arm; the skin is still that freshly-healed pink. I close my eyes, completely relaxing into the weathered old wood of the bench. Instantly my mind seized with fear.

I step off the sidewalk, not even bothering to look at the traffic buzzing along the streets. I only take two steps away from the curb when I hear the squeal of tires. I see the car to my left, trying to stop or swerve, trying to do anything to avoid hitting me but it's too late. The impact forces me up onto the hood of the red sports car and I slide off as soon as the car stops moving. The instant pain is nearly unbearable. My brain tries to comprehend what the hell just happened and I have to keep telling myself to breathe. The pavement underneath my body feels like a foreign substance. Around me I hear people shouting and a woman screaming. The driver of the car keeps repeating the same thing over and over again like a broken record. He's sorry that he hit me; he didn't see me step off the sidewalk. I did step out in front of him; it's all very understandable to me. I'm the one who messed up.

Someone kneels down beside me. I can't get the words out of my mouth. I can't tell him that I'm an officer and Horatio has my badge. It's ironic; I'd almost been hit by a car just days ago in the pouring rain. No, the damn car had to hit me on a sunny day. Of course, it wasn't actually the same car but it was the principle of the matter. I pray for Horatio to catch wind of the accident. The lab isn't that far away. More tires squeal and the sound is rather deafening to the ears when you're so close to the ground. Doors slam on the newly arrived vehicle. Has the cavalry finally come? Why didn't I hear any sirens?

"What the hell is going on here?" My heart flutters as I hear a male voice I recognize.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit him; he just stepped out in front of me. There wasn't time to stop," the driver pleads.

"You hit someone?" Calleigh asks.

"He's over there, in the middle of that circle of people," the driver replies.

"Move, get out of my way," Delko says as he pushes through the crowd of people. Ah, the great American bystander, they love their action. I hear the shuffling of feet as the crowd parts to let him through. He must finally see me because I hear the sharp intake of breath. "Oh shit, Speed."

I see him kneel beside me. I try to tell him I hurt like hell but the words still won't come. I think it's the blood in my throat that's making it hard to talk. I feel him slid his fingers between mine as he takes a firm hold of my hand. For seem reason this all seems to be happening in slow motion.

"Calleigh, call Horatio and get him to bring Alexx down here. They aren't too far away, maybe she can help him," Delko yells. "Ryan, you call for an ambulance and tell them we have an officer down."

"Oh my god," the driver nearly whispers. "He's an officer? I hit an officer…."

By now I'm getting tired of laying on the ground with everyone standing over me. It makes a person feel extremely small and insignificant. I give Delko's hand a squeeze and he gives me a troubling reassuring smile. The blood is slowly pooling in my throat. I feel the urge to couch but suppress it. I know that Calleigh is here; I don't want her to see me like this. I don't want any of them to have to see me like this. I close my eyes as I remember how they looked when I got shot. They nearly lost me that time. Do I have the strength to fight through this or will being hit by a car be my undoing?

I hear the siren of an approaching emergency vehicle. It'll be Horatio; the lab is so terribly close. I had just been there, had just talked to him. That conversation seems like it was years ago. Delko places two fingers over my wrist to feel for a pulse. He must think that I'm letting go. Maybe I am. The blood in my throat is getting to be too much. I start coughing and my entire body screams in pain. I squeeze Delko's hand as the pain passes through.

"Good to know you're still here and that you still have some strength," he says to me.

"How is he doing Delko?" I hear Horatio ask. He walks into my view, standing behind Delko. My boss, my friend; agony is present in his eyes. We've been here before, only there was a hole in my chest that time.

"I think he's choking on his own blood, H," Delko replies.

"Oh, honey," Alexx says as she kneels on my other side. "I can only do so much for him. I'm not used to working on the living." She cuts my shirt open- I happen to like the shirt- and gently presses on my ribs. I must wince or something because she apologizes and instantly removes her hands. Two minutes later she seems satisfied with her work. "His leg looks like it might be broken. And I'm going to guess that he's got broken ribs, one of which may have punctured a lung, given the blood in his mouth; there has to be at least one internal injury."

How cheery.

I close my eyes again. Straining to hear that sounds of the coming ambulance. In the distance I hear the wail of the siren. My salvation. When I open my eyes again I find that Horatio has replaced Delko at my side.

"Tim, squeeze my hand if you remember what we talked about today," he says. I squeeze. "It's erased from the record until you get better, you understand me?" I try to nod and the pain takes the opportunity to seize me again. I feel as though someone is pricking me with a thousand needles all at once, multiplied by twenty. "We're here," H says as I give his hand another squeeze. I don't want to die. Maybe human contact will keep me rooted in the world of the living. But I hardly doubt it.

I can feel myself slipping away. The darkness sits on the fringes, waiting for that one second of complete weakness to wrap itself around me and take my spirit away. The ambulance finally reaches the scene. People part like the Red Sea for Moses to let the EMT's through.

Alexx kisses my cheek. "Don't you end up on my table, Timothy. You hear me?"

I must have blacked out because the next thing I know I'm being loaded into the back of the bus. Calleigh is crying, wrapped in the arms of Ryan. Alexx stands beside Delko, holding his hand for comfort. I see the tears in their eyes, all of them worried once again about losing me. Horatio climbs into the ambulance to ride to the hospital. He still has a firm hold on my hand. I count myself lucky to have so many caring friends. Too bad it comes down to this for us all to realize that we need one another.

My life fucking sucks.