Two - You're My Destiny
August 2005
7 months ago
"Oh, what fresh hell is this now? I was promised we'd be destroying relationships with Monopoly!"
"Excuse me, but I was under the distinct impression that you actually enjoyed spending time with us?"
"Alice, come on – that isn't fair. You know I love you guys, but really? Karaoke?" Bella looked to Edward in the hopes that he would rescue her from participating in something so utterly mortifying but he was already eagerly scanning the pre-approved song list his sister had provided, aptly titled 'Cullen Monthly Karaoke: '80s Night' in bold, 48-point Comic Sans. Oh yeah, Emmett – who was already snickering in the corner of the living room with an exasperated Rose on his lap – most definitely created the flier.
"It's a family tradition," Alice shrugged, smoothing a few invisible wrinkles from the midsection of Bella's flowy floral-print dress. "All Cullens, both honorary and official, are required to participate with absolutely no exceptions unless you are sick, dying, or otherwise mortally wounded. Tell her, Edward."
"She's right," he conceded with a wide smile. Edward pressed a quick kiss to Bella's temple before plucking the list from her hand to put his elegant initials on the paper. "Bon Jovi for me, this time."
His sister rolled her eyes, "Of course it is. Bella, what would you like to sing?"
"First things first, is it the actual song or is it a literal karaoke track with no vocals?"
"This isn't the Stone Age," Alice ruffled her friend's hair, though it was clearly more to try and give it extra volume rather than patronize her. "So long as it guarantees your participation, I'll get you anything you need. Now, I know your choices might seem slim but everyone else got here before you so next month, I'll give you priority."
Bella had seen enough of the list to note that Rosalie chose Whitney Houston, Emmett triple-circled Survivor, Jasper was enthusiastically down for Journey, Alice drew little hearts and stars around Paula Abdul, and Carlisle and Esme were going to sing a duet to Chicago. Though she was certain she'd thoroughly embarrass herself in front of everyone, she supposed it really didn't hurt to let go once in awhile – the water gun fight and Edward's resulting attempts at seduction proved that, at least. She eyed the remaining songs with no initials or drawings and felt her stomach knot with anticipation when one song in particular leapt out at her.
"Put me down for Eddie Money."
With their photographic recall, the entire family had the song list memorized so it was no surprise when there were titters throughout the room. Emmett was, of course, the one to vocalize their collective thoughts, "You got the guest room fit for company, mom? Edward doesn't have a bed yet and I have a feeling Bella will be spending the night."
"Emmett!" Esme chided, whacking his arm with the back of her hand. "Of course Bella is always welcome to stay with us but control yourself before you make her uncomfortable with your vulgarity. Where are your manners?"
"Probably hanging out in the gutter somewhere with Edward's thoughts from when he saw Bella in that bikini."
"Emmett!"
Esme's scolding didn't matter though, everyone had broken out in sly chuckles, Edward included without an ounce of shame, and even Bella had to admit his brother was right but that didn't mean she was going to sit back and let him have all the fun. "Sorry, correct me if I'm wrong but weren't you the one begging Jasper for a taste of those thoughts? What's wrong, is Rose getting bored of you already?"
Rosalie and Alice both lost in a fit of incredulous laughter, Carlisle and Esme hid their reluctant mirth behind their hands, Jasper was howling, and Edward was doubled over with the force of his merriment. Emmett smacked a large, stone hand against his chest, "How could you, Bella? I thought you loved me?"
"You'll be loving yourself a lot if you don't give her and Edward a break," Rosalie cut in with a thwack to the back of his head.
It was just too good to pass up, being in league with Rosalie and finally feeling like she was being accepted by the frostiest Cullen. Bella shook her head with exaggeration, "No, keep it coming Em! I'm dying to see you relegated to the couch after karaoke while I'm nice and comfortable in the guest room."
The largest Cullen mashed his lips together in a hard line, very clearly struggling to keep his suggestive comments to himself.
Rosalie's eyes were dancing with pride and amusement, so Bella decided to take it one step further – anything was worth it to keep Edward's typically cold sister looking at her as if she were actually pleased with her company. "Alice," she held out her hand. "Mic, please? I want to go first."
The little pixie zipped out of the room like a manic dancer until she returned a few moments later with the machine, corded microphone, and a stack of CDs, "Vocal backing or instrumental only?"
"Instrumental, please."
Alice clicked the CD into place and started the music, the unmistakable beginning of Eddie Money's "Take Me Home Tonight" sending Jasper and Rosalie into another round of barely suppressed snickers. Emmett was nearly vibrating on the couch, lips now completely invisible as they were pressed so tight, Esme and Carlisle cuddled together on a single loveseat, Alice flapped her little hands with excitement, and Edward…
Lovely, god-like Edward looked as if she were the moon, the only stars, the first galaxy he had ever seen but the slight tremble in his hands proved that it was taking every single ounce of remaining self-control not to pounce on her from across the room.
Bella wasn't a terribly talented singer but everyone was genuinely happy to have her there and Edward leaned against the armrest of the couch, watching her like a man possessed and feral and she truly felt invincible. With this family at her back, with that man at her side, there was nothing she couldn't face – not even a little karaoke could scare her now."I feel a hunger, it's a hunger - That tries to keep a man awake at night. - Are you the answer? I shouldn't wonder - When I feel you with my appetite."
Emmett broke, cupping his hands around his mouth as if he wasn't already the loudest one in the house, "Hell yeah, you tell him Bella! It's about time Eddie gets his hands on something other than his own di–"
Jasper shoved a large couch pillow in his mouth.
"Anticipation is running through me - Let's find the key and turn this engine on."
Emmett spit the pillow out, on a roll, "He's got the key for that engine alright! But I doubt it will take much revving to get him–"
Rosalie tackled her husband and both she and Jasper sat on his back to hold him down, one of her elegantly manicured hands pinning his face to the carpet while he continued to talk indecipherably anyway.
The most obnoxious Cullen's poor attempt at sexual innuendo wasn't enough to trip her up her now. Maybe not ever again if the way she was feeling was any indication. Bella threw her head back and, while desperately trying not to laugh at Emmett being manhandled, belted out the chorus with everything she had, "Take me home tonight – I don't wanna let you go 'til you see the light."
Alice whooped loudly, absolutely losing her mind with excitement as Bella continued to make Eddie Money proud, and Esme was whispering something to Carlisle, inclining her head to indicate their youngest son. Carlisle glanced over at him, immediately looking like the cat that ate the canary when he turned back to his wife.
It was impossible to miss, honestly. Even as she sang, Bella watched Edward watch her – as if they were the only two people in the room, quite possibly the only two people in the world at that moment. Of course, with the way things had changed after her hospital stay, Bella had become accustomed to Edward looking at her as if he was only seconds from devouring her whole… and not as a starving vampire in a blood bank, but as a man dying from want with the object of his desire nearly within his grasp. But the way he was looking at her now…
Reverence.
Awe.
Devotion.
Bella shivered. She could feel his adoring gaze tracking across her skin as she let go to move with the music and she closed her eyes to revel in it. It was so easy to get lost in the fantasy – lately, it felt as if they were so close that she could almost taste it, could almost feel it on her fingertips. Not just the fantasy of him taking her home, taking her to bed, making her his and marking her as his own, but the fantasy of Edward loving her and wanting her, every day, for the rest of his very, very long life. The fantasy of becoming a true member of the family… becoming a Masen-Cullen… becoming his wife, his… what was the word he used before?
Mate. Becoming his mate.
Something about that word made her nearly feral when he said it even though she didn't really have any context to know what it was supposed to actually mean. Certain animals mated for life – one and done, as they say – and she knew that vampires, at least the Cullens, were much the same. Alice and Jasper, Esme and Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett – this was it for them; there was never going to be anyone else, no matter what happened between now and a thousand years from now. With that thought, it hit her.
Edward was looking at her the way all of his family members looked at their respective spouses.
As if she was it. Forever.
She had to ask him. The song faded out and Bella gave a flourishing bow as everyone in the family, Emmett smushed into the carpet included, cheered for her performance. She had to ask him. Alice came dancing up to the little makeshift stage she'd thrown together and took the microphone with an enthusiastic hug and not-so-subtle nudge to where Edward was now eagerly awaiting his turn to get his hands on Bella. She had to ask him. Esme and Carlisle lamented having to follow such 'fantastic showmanship' but as they made their way to the front of the living room for their turn, Bella registered nothing but the fire scorching her blood, the possibilities bouncing through her mind at light speed. She had to ask him. She had to know. It was probably too soon; they had only been truly dating for something like three months and Bella knew it was seriously gauche and maybe even a little desperate to be asking about something so permanent at this point but Edward wasn't some immature high school boy making promises just to get her to take her clothes off.
She had to ask him.
She had every intention to.
But then Edward pulled her close with his hands dangerously low on her back and his icy lips pressed against the sensitive skin of her ear, "You were magnificent, sweetheart."
What are mates? She tried to ask, but it came out more like, "And you were distracting."
His answering chuckle was dark and sensual, as was the flick of his tongue against her earlobe, "I behaved myself like a perfect gentleman, thank you very much."
You said I was destined for you – what does that mean? She tried again, but this one sounded more like, "I think we may have two very different definitions of the word 'gentleman'."
He was already pulling her away from the others and towards the staircase without an ounce of shame or contrition. "On the contrary. I intend to be very gentle."
Tell me what I am to you. What is this? Is this the start of our forever? Bella tried once more, but this one sounded exactly like, "Yes, I imagine Esme would disown you if you damaged the undoubtedly expensive furniture in the guest room."
"Emmett likes to think he knows everything," Edward scooped her into his arms and raced up the remaining stairs until they reached the door to his room that was left cracked open. He pushed it back to reveal a monumental four-poster wrought iron bed in the far corner of his room, nearly dominating the space against the glass wall with its delicately crafted metal flowers climbing the posts and plush amber bedspread inviting them in. "But I think he forgets that I have been waiting for you for what seems like an eternity and, to be perfectly honest," he pressed a kiss to her temple, "it would be a very cold day in Hell before my mate was relegated to the guest room which has been, historically, reserved only for temporary visitors."
There was that word again - mate. Each letter wound itself between her ribs and nestled next to her heart, cozying in to remain there for the rest of time. Edward moved into the room and Bella was helpless to follow, almost like those letters burrowing between her ribs were connected to Edward by the red strings of fate. Was this how all of Edward's family felt when they looked at their other half?
Complete. Whole. Right.
Was this what being a mate meant?
She had to ask him.
Bella had every intention to ask, right then actually, but Edward cupped her face, thumbs swiping across her cheeks with a tenderness that disarmed her, "You look like a lost lamb, sweetheart. Is it the bed? I swear I had no ulterior motives, Bella. I just… in case you ever came over and fell asleep, I couldn't stand the thought of you staying in a room that was so impersonal and transient. You deserve to feel at home here, I want you to feel at home with me, and I'm sorry if I sometimes get carried away with inappropriate suggestions and I am still learning how to modulate the things I say and–"
She put her fingers against his mouth to stop the torrent falling out of it. Edward looked chastened and embarrassed, which was adorable and heartbreaking at the same time, so Bella said the only thing she could manage. "You… really love me." She looked up at the now unsure boy towering over her. "I think it's just hitting me, how much. I spend so much time worrying about being too clingy or too much for you too soon and you just…" Bella went to the enormous bed and ran her fingers across the large flowering honeysuckles and delicate vines that climbed to the ceiling. It didn't escape her notice that Edward chose a flower symbolizing devotion and everlasting love. "You love me."
"I do," he breathed from the doorway. In half a second, Edward had his arms around her stomach and his face against her shoulder. "You never have to worry about being too much for me, Bella. Never. We were made for each other, destined to find each other exactly when we did. Everything has been leading me to you from the moment I was born. Don't ever doubt that I understand and appreciate the enormity of our bond."
Explain it to me. She wanted to say. Tell me what it means. Tell me why we are mates and why that word feels like it's wound itself into my blood. Tell me that you feel the way I feel. Tell me that this is how forever begins. Tell me.
Instead, Bella turned and wound her arms around his neck, fingers carding through his messy copper hair, "Sometimes it feels like I've come just as far to find you, too." She let out a small laugh, thinking of her erratic, hopelessly romantic mother and the wild theories she would sometimes tell Bella about love. "Maybe we're one of those couples who had to endure countless past lives where it wasn't quite right yet in order to end up here, where we were always meant to be together."
Edward chuckled gently and bumped her nose with his, cool lips moving like a whisper against hers, "In these theoretical past lives, do you think I was as unfailingly charming as I am now?"
"Doubtful. You probably annoyed the hell out of me in some of them."
"Probably," he agreed. Bella pressed into him and deepened the kiss, slanting her mouth to give him better access to count her teeth as he often did during their more heated moments. Edward pulled her onto the bed with him with ease and decided to start a thorough, in-depth study of the skin covering her collarbones using nothing but his tongue and the gentlest nips of his less dangerous teeth. "Were we hopelessly in love, at least?"
Thought and speech were not some of the higher functions being afforded by her brain at the moment, but Bella did register his question enough to answer with conviction, "Always."
And while Bella didn't get answers to any of the potentially life-altering questions still buzzing around in her mind, she couldn't really complain. Edward was always one to keep his word and at the moment, he seemed keen on proving just how much of a gentleman he truly could be.
Later. There was always later.
x-x-x
It wasn't until the end of August that the Cullen's collective thirst became 'too dangerous for the walking buffet' – as Emmett so lovingly put it – so on the last weekend of the month, rather than the family movie night originally planned, Bella was dressed in her most comfortable (a.k.a. ratty and worn) oversized pajamas and planted directly in front of the largest flat screen television known to man with a sherpa throw, bowl of popcorn, and the three most beautiful vampire women flanking her to the left, right, and center. Thankfully Esme, Rosalie, and Alice had hunted earlier in the week so family movie night was just tweaked to girls' movie night instead. She would miss the guys, to be sure, but Bella definitely wasn't opposed to some actual bonding time with the women in the family, either.
Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper said quick goodbyes to their wives with affectionate kisses and soft words but Edward was having a much more difficult time with the impending separation. Bella rested her head against the back of the couch to see him standing behind, anxious and unsure.
"I don't have to go," he murmured against her upside-down cheek. "Say the word and I'll stay."
"Don't be ridiculous – you look like you went 12 rounds with Emmett," Bella gently fingered the dark purpling circles below his onyx eyes. "You need to eat."
"I also need to be with you."
Jasper and Emmett gagged audibly with exaggerated heaves that were only abated by Carlilse's exasperated smack to the back of their heads.
"And right now, being with me while you're thirsty is causing you unnecessary pain. Eat, have fun with your family, and let me enjoy time with people who actually want to watch sappy romance adaptations of timeless Jane Austen novels without complaining."
Edward's crooked smile was equal parts dazzling and disorienting, which was definitely not as embarrassing as it probably should have been. He pressed his lips to hers gently before giving a playful nip at her chin, "Look after my heart then, I'm leaving it with you."
At another round of obnoxious gagging, Bella chuckled, "Go hunt before you make everyone puke. I will still be here, alive and well, when you come home."
She didn't miss the glint in his eyes as she referred to his house as home. His gaze flickered to Rosalie, "You sure about that?"
A couch pillow hit him square in the face.
"Yes, now go."
It took some serious cajoling from his brothers and even some strong-arming from Emmett to pry Edward out of the house but while Bella was outwardly amused like everyone else, internally it felt like her lungs were constricting. As if she could feel the moment Edward crossed the small stream into the forest, Bella began to fall into a silent and hidden panic.
What if he got hurt?
What if something happened to him?
What if he didn't come back to her?
Alarm bells were sounding in her head and it was as frightening as it was unsettling – frightening because the anxiety felt directly tethered to the amount of distance between her and Edward and unsettling because it didn't feel wrong at all. On the contrary, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. Even her thoughts were hers yet not quite.
Protect him. Touch him. Keep him close. Safe. Happy.
She was a million miles away from the vague snippets of conversation happening around her.
"Ooooh I am so excited to watch this! Finally, we can all swoon over Mr. Darcy without judgment."
"Speak for yourself, Alice. I'm just here to see Elizabeth put Darcy in his place. Self-righteous prick."
"Language, Rose."
"I'm 90 years old, mother. I think I can curse in the house now."
Could mountain lions hurt him? She didn't think so but there was a first time for everything. Bella rubbed at her chest absently; why did it feel so tight? Every step Edward took away from her left her a little more breathless.
"What do you think, Bella?"
At the sound of her name, she managed to slip back into reality to see that all three women were staring at her expectantly, "Hmm? I'm sorry, what did you say?"
Alice gave an exaggerated sigh, "Can't you stop thinking about lover-boy for long enough to discuss dinner plans?"
"That depends: is it dinner for me or am I the dinner?"
Rosalie snorted, Esme stifled a chuckle, and Alice looked genuinely annoyed. "Ha. Ha. I will have you know that just like humans, we have preferences when it comes to what we eat. I love you but you aren't my type."
"Mine or Esme's either, for the record," Rosalie cut in from her left.
Her thoughts were already drifting back to Edward who was getting further and further from her reach. Bella's stomach was winding itself it knots now; she cleared her throat and rubbed at her sternum to try and ease the ache.
"We just wanted to know if you prefer we get pizza or something from the cafe in town?" Esme asked gently. "You should have something to eat before it gets too late."
"Since you won't let us use the kitchen," Alice eyed her, "looks like you're left with the only two options Forks has to offer."
"Girls' night rules dictates crappy takeout," Bella shrugged absently, hardly registering the conversation at all to care. "Pizza's cheaper."
"Darling, that doesn't matter. You can have whatever you like."
But once again, Bella was a million miles away. Was Edward being safe? Surely Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle wouldn't let him do anything dangerous or take on an animal too big for him… right? No, no of course not. She was being ridiculous; Edward had been hunting for over a hundred years without incident before they met so he would be fine. Nothing to worry about.
Anxiety still roiled in her gut like poison.
He had his cell phone on him. It was supposed to be for emergencies during hunts but maybe it wouldn't be so bad to just call really quick. Just for a second, just to hear his voice…
The sound of the front door caught her attention. Bella looked up to see that she had lost two companions and was now only in the company of the most intimidating one.
"So. Alone at last."
"Sounds ominous," Bella rubbed her fingers against the bowl of popcorn to keep herself grounded and not fretting over the vampire hunting deer and mountain lions in the forest. "Should I be worried?"
Rosalie rested her head in her hand, arm currently propped against the back of the couch, "That depends."
"On what?"
"You."
It would be a lie to say that her heart didn't speed up just a little – maybe with trepidation, fear, dread, unease…
She rolled her eyes, "Oh, relax. I'm not going to kill you or anything. Do you really think I'd do that to Edward?"
Bella chuckled awkwardly, "Sorry, you're just making me nervous."
"Good, that means you'll be honest."
"About what?"
"Please keep in mind that you are a terrible liar," Rosalie leaned forward with a suddenly serious expression. "I want to know your intentions for my brother."
That most certainly was not what she had been expecting to hear. It took a moment for the words to properly compute in her brain and even then it didn't really make sense. "My intentions… with Edward?"
She was unphased by Bella's confusion, "He may be a broody, mercurial pain in my ass most of the time and we definitely don't see eye-to-eye on almost anything, but he is still my brother for all intents and purposes and despite our differences, I don't want him to get hurt. So now comes the honesty part, Bella. Tell me the truth– is he going to regret this? Are you going to hurt him? It doesn't have to be today or tomorrow even; I just need to know if it's in the cards."
God, even the thought of intentionally hurting Edward was like a knife to the stomach that sent her reeling, "Of course not! Why would you even think–?"
"I know humans, I was human once myself, and I know that they'll go to any lengths to get what they want. Now I'm only going to ask you this once and, again, keep in mind that I'll know if you're lying because your lying is shit. Do you actually love him? Do you really feel what you say you feel? Accepting the role of being someone's mate is not something to be taken lightly and if you're unsure for any reason at all, including the dazzling possibility of immortality–"
"Whoa, Rosalie; just slow down for a minute, okay? Give me a second to breathe. You're throwing a lot at me here." Bella kneaded the ache in her chest and chose her next words very, very carefully in an attempt to be as open and honest as possible… which admittedly was not easy with someone as beguiling and glacial as Rosalie Hale, but she was damn sure going to try. "Edward is… he's everything. I don't even know how else to describe it." She smiled to herself, remembering his precious words she still held so close to her heart. "My universe begins and ends with him. Immortality and 'forever'... the only way I would ever consider taking such a monumental step would be to stay by his side. Without him, forever loses all of its appeal. The end game for me isn't to live forever, it's to live with Edward for as close to forever as I can get."
Her answer must have been satisfactory because Rosalie didn't argue further, she simply watched Bella stroke absently at the center of her sternum before smiling, "You feel it, don't you?"
For a few months now, it felt like Bella was feeling anything and everything all at once and not at all. It was disconcerting to say the least. "You're gonna have to be more specific because lately, what I'm feeling is all over the damn place and it's kinda freaking me out. I feel like I'm losing my mind some days."
Rosalie put a hand on her own chest in the exact same place, "You feel the gnawing ache when he's gone, like someone is squeezing you so tight you can hardly breathe and it gets more painful with each mile between you. There's fire in your blood when he touches you, like flames licking at your skin and turning your whole body into an inferno of desire. And when he recognizes you for what you are to him, when he says the word 'mate'…"
Bella's breathing was heavy and her nails dug into her chest. How in the hell had Rosalie described everything she'd been feeling down to the letter? "Lightening," she finished. "When he says the word, it feels like I'm being struck by lightning in a thousand different places, like there's electricity crackling through the air and it's coming from my skin. The first time he said it, it felt like… like coming home after being gone for a long time. It felt comforting and warm and safe. Now…" Nothing in her life had ever felt quite like this. Always the caretaker, never the cared for– Bella grew up fully expecting to keep her emotions locked away to better see to the needs of others, never really allowing herself to feel anything too big, too much. After all, if she was absorbed with feeling, with wanting, how could she have enough of herself to give to everyone else who constantly demanded it of her?
But Edward never demanded anything. His love was absolute and without conditions. Who the hell else had ever loved her like that?
"Now?" Rosalie prompted.
Inexplicably, there were tears in her eyes when she looked up at the beautiful vampire, "Now it feels like there isn't enough space in my heart for that word to live there and everytime Edward says it, I…I want…" Bella wiped furiously at the moisture gathering in her eyes. "Jesus, what the hell is happening to me, Rosalie? I feel like I'm going stir-crazy in my own skin."
Alice came bursting through the front door with two delicious smelling pizzas and the biggest shit-eating grin, "You owe me a new Porsche, Rose. I called it from day one."
"Oh, Bella!" Esme came fluttering into the room at light speed, tossing the car keys on the coffee table and pulling her into an exuberant hug that smelled of roses. In another whirlwind, Esme pulled back to wipe at the teartracks staining Bella's cheeks. "Oh darling, don't cry! I am so, so happy for you both. I always hoped but some days it was so hard to keep the faith…"
"Nice try Alice, but I never agreed to that," Rosalie cringed away from the pizza now sitting beside the car keys. "I'm cynical, not stupid."
Bella found the strength to calm the confusing maelstrom within her for long enough to get some much needed answers, "Would someone please tell me what you're all talking about? Why exactly do I feel like I'm on the fast track for the looney bin lately?"
"Oooh yes, yes! Only the biggest congratulations ever are in order and I can't believe he didn't tell you yet," Alice tapped a perfectly manicured nail against Bella's sternum in a staccato rhythm. "You and Edward have found your soulmates."
The gentle, softer Rosalie had been put away the very moment the others had come home and her frosty, harder counterpart had quickly slipped back into place, "God, it's been years since I've heard anyone call it that. Does it always have to sound so saccharine?"
It was quite the revelation to hear the coldest member of the Cullens describe the very thing she had just reverently described to Bella in exacting, loving detail as 'saccharine' with clear disdain for the sentimentality. Despite the show she put on for everyone, Rosalie was not as hardened as she pretended to be.
"Soulmates," Bella rolled the word around in her mind, tasted it on her tongue and knew in the marrow of her bones that they were telling the truth. Each letter fit perfectly against the Edward-shaped hole gnawing itself into her chest and eased her tension. Yes. Yes. She let out a long breath and slumped into the couch. "And feeling like this, feeling so much…?"
The tiniest vampire was nearly buzzing with excitement, "Totally normal until the bond is sealed! Think of it like… one soul is split in half and put into two different bodies – which is romantic and all – but then those two halves spend their whole lives searching for each other. When they finally find each other, they obviously fight like holy hell to reach their other half and seal themselves back together. Some people find their mates, some people don't, and some people refuse to accept it at all."
"But Edward and I…" She looked to Rosalie who was strangely the most comforting presence in the room. "He's been calling me his mate for months and, I think, I must have known from the beginning because it always felt right even when I didn't know what it meant. If we both accept it, why does it still feel like I'm mitigating my own internal chaos on a daily basis?"
Esme pressed her lips together with mirth, Rosalie bit the inside of her cheek to stop a smile, but Alice was all too happy to interject, "Oh, don't worry about that! As soon as you and Edward seal the bond everything will settle. Your souls are just getting antsy, that's all."
"Antsy for what?"
Edward's words in June suddenly came flooding back to her like a tidal wave.
I am nothing if not meticulous and I would like our first time together, our first time baring our souls to each other to be as perfect as I can make it.
Oh, sweet little baby Jesus. Her cheeks must be flaming because she was suddenly sweating.
"There it is," Rosalie chuckled. "She just got it."
Esme patted her knee with a gentle, maternal understanding, "Please don't be embarrassed, darling. It's perfectly natural and we all–"
"Nope! Ah no, I'm good," even Alice was giggling along with Rosalie now. Was it possible for this to get any more mortifying? It was bad enough that she and Edward were near helpless to keep their hands off of each other these days, even around his family, but knowing that they all suspected the reason (and were correct) and would know when they finally… No, it was better to just not think about that part of it. "We absolutely do not need to go there, Esme. I understand completely. Thank you, though."
Thankfully, Esme seemed to take the hint and suggested that Bella eat some pizza before it got cold. The next two hours were then spent with Alice swooning over Mr. Darcy (and Esme silently nodding her agreement), Rosalie keeping a running commentary on just how much of a prick Mr. Darcy actually was, and Bella mulling over the implication of everything she'd learned.
She and Edward were soulmates. Mates.
Two halves of the same soul finding each other after a lifetime of searching.
Bella pulled her knees into her chest and bit her lip. Like the pieces of a puzzle clicking effortlessly into place, she and Edward had always just fit. She fit into his arms, he fit into her heart – home. From day one, it felt like finding home. From June, it felt like moving in. Now, it felt like the house was built from interwoven strands of their DNA. Edward was where she belonged and finally, finally she had the right to want something.
Ache. Inferno. Lightening.
At some point, Bella must've fallen asleep on the couch because, suddenly, the ache was gone and it was replaced with those flames licking mercilessly at her skin. She was weightless as a pair of icy marble arms carried her as gently and quietly as possible up the staircase. Lips like glass brushed against her ear with decadent whispers as they climbed, "My love… my life… my mate…"
"Mmm…" She hummed, burrowing into his chest and breathing deep; she was far too tired to fan those flames or appease that lightening shooting down the notches of her spine at the moment so cuddles would have to do. "You're home."
Edward's chest shook with breathy chuckles as he pulled them both onto the monstrous golden bed and, within seconds of arranging the blankets to cover her, Bella wound her limbs around him like tentacles, "I am, my sleepy little octopus. I will always come home to you."
Bella was already being dragged right back under that lovely quilt of unconsciousness, so the words were mostly mumbles now, "You promise?"
"I promise."
The way he breathed the words were almost sacred, like a prayer, and she knew that he meant it.
No matter where, no matter when, Edward would always come back.