See I told you I'd update soon lol Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. And since I updated not that long ago some of you might not have read the previous chapter… which I suggest you do so your not completely lost lol Any ways as usually you all rock (and thanks to lil cwick and FALLiiN ANGEL X3, my leg is feeling a little bit better but I still can't walk much which means more time to update lol) enjoy the next chapter!

Chapter 16

I'll Catch You

"Kate. I need to- KATE! What are you doing?"

I didn't even need to look up to see who it was. I recognized the voice immediately. I loved that voice so much, and it felt like I hadn't heard it in so long. But I couldn't look him in the eyes. Not now.

Tears fell down my face in a steady stream. I was so lost and confused. How desperately I just wanted out.

"Kate don't do this… Please."

Don't do this. His words echoed in my mind. A simple request but one I could not obey. I needed to do this. I couldn't handle any more pain. It was killing me, literally killing me.

"I have too," I replied still not looking up at him.

"No you don't Kate. You don't," he said as he knelt down to me.

I tried to look away from him. I couldn't see him right now. But my attempts to avoid him failed. He took his hand and raised my chin to look him in the eyes. Those eyes I loved so much.

And for a brief second I lost myself in them. In all of the good memories that we had once shared. But then the painful memories came to me. And I tore myself away from him.

"Kate…"

"I'm sorry Pony…" I managed to mumble, "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be Kate," Ponyboy said, "I was an ass. I should have believed you. I just…"

I looked into his eyes and I saw the hurt and sadness. I had caused that. I had pretty much convinced myself that everything was my fault. It made perfect sense. If I had never run away from my father that night… none of this would have happened.

I never would have met Bryan. And if I had never met him then he never would have ran into those Socs on the way to pick me up. He never would have died. He would be out on the town the Lee having a good old time. If he never would have met me…

And Lee, he would still be living with his mom, instead of out on the streets, if it weren't for me. Not to mention he wouldn't be lying in the hospital for defending Jen. Cause without me he never would have known Jen. He never would have had his heart broken. He never would have to spend half of his time worrying about me. Maybe he wouldn't have dropped out of school to get a job so that he could help support me. He would be as normal a kid as a Greaser could be.

And Gary could live happily after with Heather, if it hadn't been for me. Causing him to worry all the time, to go out looking for me instead of being with her. He never would have had to look after me and try to be a father. He was only 19 he shouldn't have had to be a father to me.

Garrett would never been in the hospital right now, he would be at home with Jenna helping her with her math and laughing, smiling… His whole family would be at home living life as usually not worrying about the brother or son lying in the hospital. Maybe never to wake up…

Scott would be out on the football field practicing, having a good time if he didn't know me. He never would have broken his leg and missed his football games that he loved so much.

Jeff would be out laughing somewhere trying to pick up some girls instead of being at the hospital worried for his friends lives.

And Danielle, she and Lee would probably be over at the Nightly Double having a good time not in the hospital praying for Lee.

Maybe even Mrs. Hannigan might be alive if I hadn't caused her so much stress. She'd be sitting in her chair reading a book…

And Ponyboy… he would be off hanging out with his gang somewhere, not dwelling over me. He, Soda, Darry, Johnny, Dally, Steve and Two-Bit would be watching Mickey Mouse, arm wrestling, playing cards…

I never wanted to hurt the people I loved the most in the way I had… I should have just ended my life right there at my father's house… it's not like he would have cared. And I would have saved everyone else from the pain I was causing. I would have saved the people I love.

It was a mistake not to have done it back then… so I would now. Save everyone from the inevitable pain I was sure to cause in the future.

I brought my blade to me again but Ponyboy grabbed my wrist.

"Please Pony… I have to do this."

"No Kate! You don't."

"Yes I do!" I yelled at him. He didn't understand.

"Listen Kate. I heard about Scott, Lee and Garrett. It's not your fault."

"You see that's where you're wrong. It is my fault! Everything is my fault. Everybody would be better off without me. Not to mention that Bryan and Mrs. Hannigan would probably still be alive if it weren't for me!"

"Kate's that's crazy! Don't blame yourself. It's not your-"

"But it is! I hurt you… and everyone else I love. I don't deserve to live! I don't deserve it Ponyboy."

"Kate stop! Don't talk like that. You are a beautiful, smart, funny, caring, witty, considerate, loving did I mention extremely gorgeous person. Any one who meets you falls in love with your charming personality. And we all care so much about you Kate… I care so much about you…"

I started shaking my head. I was an awful person. I had caused all this… I started to bring my blade closer to me again…

"Kate!" Pony said as he grabbed my wrist this time not letting go.

"Pony please…" I begged.

"I won't watch you do this to yourself-"

"Then don't! Walk away. Act like you never saw any of this. No one will ever know-"

"I'm not leaving you."

I wanted to argue but I knew from the look in Pony's eyes he wasn't about to leave me any time soon.

"Fine. Watch me die then."

"You're not going to die!"

"I want to Pony! What part of that don't you understand! I want to be dead! I want to end the pain!"

"Kate, listen. I know this must be a lot for you right now. And I understand it hurts. And it kills me to know I helped hurt you…" Pony paused for a moment before taking a deep breath, "But it's not your fault. It's life. I know it can suck trust me I know. But you can't… you can't just give up like this."

Giving up? Was I giving up? I had always told Bryan I would never give up… I'd never let them have the satisfaction… But it wasn't giving up. I was protecting the people I love. Wasn't I?

"I'm not giving up. I'm just saving everyone else from the pain I cause…"

Ponyboy shook his head, "Kate stop talking like that. You can't change what has happened. As much as we all might like to there's nothing that will take us back in time and let us change the past. You just have to deal with it the best way that you can."

"This is the best way to deal with it…"

"No Kate! You're only going to end up hurting more people. Can you imagine how bad Lee and Garrett and Scott would feel when they wake up and they want to see you… and your gone. Gary, Danielle, Tim, Soda, Johnny, Louis, Dale, Darry, Jenna, Anna, Beth, Tiffany, Two-Bit, Lily, Heather even Dally and Steve, the list goes on and on… Can you imagine how many people would miss you! How much I would miss you!'

"But-"

"But nothing Kate! They're are so many people who love and care about you! They don't want you to hurt yourself Kate. They want you to be happy."

My brain was having a hard time processing all of this. It just wasn't making sense to me that people actually would care when I was gone… I figured I was saving them from the pain… Or was I just causing some more?

"What's the point of being happy? In the end you just land up with pain. It's like the second life gets good again, it gets great, you know. And then you feel like you're on top of the whole damn world. But then it slowly starts to come crashing down and you start falling. It's like they raise us up, so they can watch us fall. I don't want to fall any more Pony," I said softly, "I can't keep falling."

That was the truth. I couldn't keep falling any more. The pain you feel when you fall is unbearable. And just when life starts looking up, you fall again. It's like the never-ending cycle. I should have just ended it at my father's house. I never would have experienced what it was like to be happy… but at least I never would have experienced what it was like to have that happiness torn away from you…

"You're not going to keep falling… cause I'm gonna catch you…" Pony said softly.

"What?" I asked not sure I had heard it Pony correctly. Actually I was pretty much convinced I had.

"I said you're not going to keeping falling," he said his voice much clearer now, "Cause I'll catch you."

"Why?"

Why would any one want to help me? I'm just poor, worthless, pathetic Kate. Even my own father knew that… Why would any one care if a fell? All I've ever done was cause pain…

"Cause," he paused for a second, "I love you Kate."

The words I had longed to hear, finally said. I almost didn't believe them. It seemed so unreal to me. Yet those words 'I love you Kate' meant so much to me. More then I think any one would ever be able to understand.

For some unknown reason my head began to clear a bit. My thoughts finally started making some sense. What Ponyboy was trying to explain to me finally clicked. People loved and cared about me. If I gave in now all I would be doing was hurting them more. And that was the last thing in the world I wanted to do…Besides hadn't I promised Bryan right before he died that I wouldn't give up. That I would keep going for him. I've never broken a promise before and I sure wasn't going to start now. My friends, pretty much my family, needed me more then ever right now… I needed them too.

But the images of everything that had happened to me continued to flood my thoughts. It hurt… it hurt so bad…

I looked up at Ponyboy. I loved him so much. And I looked long and hard into his eyes. And for some reason, at that moment, I knew everything was going to be okay.

I took a long deep breath. And as I started shaking I looked back over at my blade, Ponyboy's hand still held my wrist. I closed my eyes for a moment and then I did it…

I let go of the blade. I opened my eyes to watch it fall to the ground, almost in slow motion. I watched it fall and clatter to the ground and then I starred at it for a moment or two.

I looked up at Pony and he smiled at me. It had been so long since I had seen him smile.

"I love you too Pony."

His smile only widened and I returned a small smile myself. I wrapped my arms around him and cried into his shoulder. And Pony held me as close as he could. It felt so good to be in his arms again.

"I love you so much Kate," he said as he kissed the top of my head.

I was still shaking and crying, soaking his shirt but Pony never let go of me. And I knew that when he said he's catch me I knew he really meant it. Because I felt like I wasn't falling any more. I knew Ponyboy wouldn't let me.

All right I hope you enjoyed the long awaited Ponyboy/Kate scene lol Hope you liked! I'd love to hear your thoughts! So review please! And I'll update soon.