This is first chapter one of the sequel to "Becoming Visible." I don't own the characters, but sometimes I like taking them out and playing with them. Wait, that didn't sound right...
Sara was standing in her open front door as I pulled up in front of her place. "I wasn't sure you could find it."
I forced a smile. She would never know about the times I'd ridden by trying to conjure up the courage to stop and knock on the door that was now behind her. I would take to my grave the secret of the anguish and rage that flooded my heart those nights I saw Hank Pettigrew's car in front of her apartment. "I managed to find it," I said quietly and moved past her into the apartment.
She was clearly nervous, and that sick, leaden sense that this was my one pity date was getting overwhelming. "I have never dated a guy I've known for so long," she said, glancing at me with a half-smile. "Not sure what the rules are here."
I shrugged. "What do you want them to be?"
She looked at the floor, then looked up with a half-smile. "How about just taking things as they happen?"
"You still planning on seeing Hank?" I tried to keep my voice even.
She snorted. "HELL no. I'm not going to call him, but when he calls me I'm going to tell him to go to hell. After what you told me I don't owe him shit."
"And if he wasn't involved with someone else? Would I still be here?" I needed to know if I was here by default. I wasn't going anywhere if I was , I would take what I could get and try to make it enough, but I needed to know.
"The truth is that I've known since a month into it that Hank wasn't going to be a lasting part of my life. If he wasn't a snake I'd call him and let him know it was over." She looked at me hard. "Knowing what I know, I need to see where this - " she gestured vaguelyat the space between us, "-can go. There has always been something about you, Greg... I've never been able to put my finger on exactly what, but you've always affected me. You just seemed a bit of a ladies' man."
I walked over to her and took her soft hand. "I'm not a ladies' man. At points I've tried to be, and part of the reason for that was to show you what you were missing, make you think you had no power over me. See, here's the thing. I flirted with you, alright, but you flirted back. You did, Sara. You'd come in here with your smart comments, shooting me down - but still you'd stand so close you'd be pressed against me, so close I could smell what soap you used. Did you do that to Bobby? I very seriously doubt it. I would try to let go of my feelings for you and give up, but you made that impossible. When you'd step back until you were pressed up against me, you knew what that was pressing back. You never moved, Sara. You just never did. You felt what you did to me, and you never stepped away from it."
She shrugged. "I never wanted you to stop flirting with me... it always..." She shook her head in embarassment. "It excited me, too. You teased me, and I teased back. You never really pushed for more, and truthfully if you had I probably would've figured you were just looking for sex."
"I want a lot more than sex from you, Sara. I want you, all of you, in my life every day. I want to chase away your sadness, give you a thousand reasons to smile. Yes, I do want to make love to you - but that's what it will be, making love, not just having sex." I stroked her cheek. "You know where I stand. The next move is yours. This goes wherever you want it to. You know now that I'm yours for the taking, but I don't have the strength to step out any further. This is like chess, and the next move is yours."