Author's Note: The first one was just a little joke I thought of and then I realized I could do more of these.

Enix walked into the ancient temple he had passed by so many times but never paid any mind to. He had never been a particularly religious man, but at this point he didn't have anything left to lose.

Once he got to the center of the temple, Enix got down on his knees and bowed, closing his eyes.

"Oh, Great Moon Goddess of this temple, things haven't been going great for me, so if you're there, please give me a sign."

"Hello!"

Enix looked up to see a woman with olive skin, long black hair and glowing green eyes happily waving at him.

"Y—you're the Moon Goddess?"

"Nah, she's been gone for a long time." The woman made a gesture with her hand to emphasize her point. "I was just passing through the area and I thought I'd say Hi. I'm Marcy! I can help you!" She snapped her fingers and a bag of money appeared in front of Enix.

"Won't just creating money like this cause inflation problems?" asked Enix.

The woman shrugged. "I try not to think about it too much."

"So this is our home base!"

Anne decided that today she'd create a portal from the Afterlife Realm to the Multiversal Rift so she could show her parents the place where she and her wives perform a lot of their Guardian duties. In all likelihood Anne wasn't supposed to be doing this, but who's going to stop her? Not the old Guardian, that's for sure.

"So this house is a lot bigger on the inside than on the outside." Anne pointed to different areas of the house. "Okay so that's my corner with all the frogs, and that's Sasha's with the giant swords, and of course the one that looks just like an anime scene is Marcy's."

"This is all very fascinating, Anne," said Bee.

"And very disorganized," said Oum. "How can you three keep track of anything in here when everything is so cluttered? You need to clean this place up a little."

"Mom, it's not that bad!" Anne protested.

Oum was undeterred. "I don't care that you're a space goddess and we're both dead, I'm still your mother."

Anne sighed in defeat. "Yes, mom."

Sasha and Marcy were looking at the old Guardian's notes on various dimensions.

"So there's this one world with some cavemen-looking guys," said Sasha. "And apparently they've been there for 40 million years and haven't discovered fire yet."

"It wouldn't be so bad if they were doing something in the meantime," said Marcy. "But it looks like they haven't changed at all. It's like playing Civilization but we can't progress any further because all the good features are unlocked."

A few seconds passed and then Sasha and Marcy looked at each other.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Marcy.

Sasha smiled. "Oh absolutely. What's the worst that can happen?"

One Hour Later

Ux gahdz! ("It burns!")

Ruaue joah gahd hdap? ("What does 'burn' mean?")

O reok hwee! ("I don't know!")

Sasha and Marcy looked down at the carnage they accidentally caused.

"Whoops…" said Marcy.

"Yeah…" said Sasha. "We should get out of here before—

"What did you two do!?"

Well, shit. They turned around to see Anne staring at them with fury etched into every fiber of her being.

Marcy immediately pointed at Sasha and vice versa. "It was her idea!"

"Welcome back to our exclusive interview with herpetologist-turned-Multiversal Guardian Anne Boonchuy!"

The studio audience cheered wildly.

"Thank you, everyone!" said Anne, waving to the crowd.

"Okay, right now Anne will be taking some audience questions," said the host. "And she specifically requested no questions about the Frogvasion of Los Angeles. Keep them modern." They pointed to someone in the second row. "Alright, let's start with you in the blue and purple shirt."

"I don't know if you'll feel comfortable answering this," said the blue-purple shirted viewer, "but is there anything you dislike about being a Guardian."

"Ooh, good question," said Anne. "I'm not sure if I truly dislike it since it has a lot of uses, but my heightened senses definitely have some disadvantages. They can be kind of uncomfortable at times. Like right now for instance, about a third of the audience isn't wearing adequate enough deodorant."

There was absolute silence. No one said a word, confusing Anne. Her confusion lasted for about ten seconds before it finally clicked to her that maybe she shouldn't have said that.

Anne blushed with embarrassment. "Uh… not that that's a bad thing…" The silence persisted. "Wow, look at the time, I have to go now!"

And with that, Anne disappeared. She probably won't be doing another interview any time soon.

"You've all done a great job harnessing the power of the Pearls to help your world," said Sasha. "Now you're ready for your biggest challenge yet: halting the destruction of Mount Phasco, which will begin in three days.

"Thank you for all your help!" said Franny.

"Yeah, adventuring sure has been fun!" said Josh, wiping sweat off his brow. Marsupia gets pretty hot this time of year.

"You're welcome," said Anne. "But before you do anything you must do something very important…"

"Choosing a soundtrack!" said Marcy excitedly.

"Are… are you serious?" asked Pat.

"Of course!" said Anne. "I learned from personal experience that background music can completely make or break a fight."

"It's true," said Marcy. "Anne's main go-to music is K-pop and Sasha usually goes for rock or some sort. Meanwhile my favorite style of music changed a lot over the years, like when I was really little I liked classical music because that's what my parents wanted me to like, then I started playing video games a lot so I listened to game soundtracks like nonstop and I never really stopped doing that but I did go through new musical phases, like a brief punk phase when I was seventeen because what teenager doesn't, and after that I…

The three marsupials shared a look that said "we're gonna be here a while".

"Are the statues not to your liking, Master Marcy?"

Paladin Olivia II was showing Marcy a fresh set of statues erected in New Newtopia which depicted the Guardians in their adult Calamity forms. They were very well-sculpted and all the details were correct: their armor, their dynamic hair, they each had a ring on each hand. But despite this, Marcy couldn't help but feel that something wasn't right.

"No, I like them! I really do!" said Marcy. "But I think they need improvement, and I'm not sure what exactly…" Marcy drummed her fingers on her chin as she pondered what the statues needed…

And then it hit her. Frog, it was so obvious, how did she not notice it before?

Marcy snapped her fingers and suddenly there was a post-it note reading "Marcy wuz here!" on the chest of each statue. And these weren't typical cheap post-it notes. These were sturdy and possibly indestructible.

"Now they're perfect!"

"Hmm… for a dimension of pigeons, Columbidae is surprisingly cool," remarked Sasha.

Today the Guardians were looking at different worlds, simply observing. It wasn't the most exciting thing to do, but it's part of the job. This world was populated entirely by pigeons, who were somewhat intelligent but for the most part not that different from their Earth counterparts.

Right now Sasha was watching two pigeons fight in a makeshift arena. It was kind of like cockfighting, but with pigeons. She watched as one pigeon tackled the other to the ground, holding it down with its talons. This lasted for six seconds before the pigeon on top released, and judging by the cheering birds it won the match.

"Alright, I'm digging this."

All of a sudden the victorious pigeon looked right at Sasha.

"Can this pigeon… see me?"

That's not supposed to happen. Whenever the Guardians are simply observing they become invisible and inaudible. They had been flawless in that regard so far but somehow it didn't work on this one pigeon. She would've chalked it up to coincidence, but the pigeon wasn't just looking in her general direction, it was making direct eye contact.

"Is it a magic pigeon? That's the only explanation…"

Just then the pigeon spread its colorful wings, practically showing off. Now Sasha was offended.

"Is that a challenge!?"

The pigeon nodded.

"Alright." Sasha summoned her swords. "If you want a fight, that's what you'll get!"

Later

Sasha came back to the base looking defeated.

"What happened to you?" asked Anne.

Sasha looked down, refusing to meet Anne's eyes. "Got my ass handed to me by a pigeon…"

Yeah, I stole the idea of an all-pigeon society from SVTFOE. Oh well.