Chapter 7
Ryan was concerned with Pam. She seemed extra sad tonight. It was oblivious seeing Jim all day took its toll. "Pam, it's cool if you just want to go home or something." He wanted her to feel no pressure.
Pam smiled in that sad way of hers and asked him, "Can we just watch a movie or something?" She wanted to be with him but not sleep with him.
Ryan nodded. "Sure. Want to order some Chinese food and eat in?"
"Sounds good." That being said she promptly burst into tears. She cried like she lost her best friend and Ryan supposed she had. Ryan draped an arm around her as she sobbed. When she was done, she excused herself to freshen up and he ordered the food.
She came out of the bathroom and gave him a watery smile. "Sorry,Ry. It's just..." Just what? So hard to look at the man I love all day and know that he is with someone else. "It's just...hard."
"That's what she said!" Ryan had to try to get her to laugh and he was rewarded with a smile. "Sorry, it was too good of a set up to pass by." He made a horrified face and looked at Pam with concern. "Am I becoming Michael?"
Pam did laugh at that. "No. Trust me you are not becoming Michael!"
The food came soon after and they ate in silence. Pam seemed lost in thought. When Ryan was no longer able to ignore the pink elephant in the room, he asked, "You want to talk about it or should I just keep my mouth shut?"
Pam shrugged. "What is there to say?"
Ryan choked a bit on his noodles. "I'd say a lot! It's oblivious he has feelings for you." Ryan watched her face turn into one of disbelief.
"Right that's why he hooked up as soon as he left the country? Please!" Pam didn't want to cry anymore. She was so tired of feeling the loss and hurt. "You didn't see him with her. He obliviously loves her."
"Pam, you're right I have only seen him with you. He still loves you."
A forbidden sob escaped Pam before she regained control of herself. "No, he doesn't he couldn't. He hooked up with Cindy, that's her name, on his first night in Australia and then he bought her home. I loved him so much I cancelled my freaking wedding! I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else! I couldn't even imagine kissing anyone else!" She took a deep breath and tried to lower her voice. "I was sitting home patiently waiting for him to come back so we could finally be together. What an idiot I was! He was out screwing so Aussyland bitch! Oh yeah, that's really love! It really showed me how much he cared about me."
Ryan just frowned. What could he say? The events all took place. While he was looking for something comforting to say, Pam started ranting again.
"Ever since I met him...I don't know there was always something. He acted like he wanted to tell me something but then never did. I thought may be he liked me but he never said anything so how did I know for sure? I didn't! And he was always with some girl." Pam was talking so fast that Ryan had a hard time catching every word. "Then at the casino night weeks before my wedding he told me he loved me. He did. I know I freaked out! I was engaged to Roy for forever. I was in shock but I knew I loved him. Then he kissed me. Oh Ryan, it was amazing. Sorry...Then I called everything off." Her voice was going softer and softer. Tears were streaming down her face. "I thought there was something special between us. I thought he would give me just a little bit of time to get myself together for him. I wanted so much to be with him. But he..." The sobs were cutting off the words. "He didn't...he just didn't..."
Ryan pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back. "Shhhh. It's okay. It will be okay." He rocked her bit calming her. When she was done, they watched a movie and fell asleep in the couch. Sometime in early morning, Pam kissed Ryan on the cheek and whispered her thanks and left to go get ready for work.
oxoxoxox
So went the week. Pam found herself on Friday trying not to watch Jim talk to Cindy on the cell phone. She wasn't trying to eavesdrop but it was hard not to do so. Jim proximity was extremely close. She also noticed whenever Cindy called, which was often, Jim would cover his mouth with his hand as if trying to muffle his words for privacy's sake.
Jim hide his frustration at Cindy the best he could, but she was driving him crazy. She kept calling him at work and kept reminding him of "his responsibility to her and his unborn child". "Cindy, I will drive up tomorrow." He rolled his eyes. "Yes, by early afternoon. Bye."
Pam thought that was curious. Why wasn't he rushing home to be with his new girlfriend for the weekend? Did that mean he was going out with everyone from the office? Butterflies started to flutter about in her stomach. She tried to school herself that it didn't matter but it did and she found that pathetic.

Just then Ryan caught her eye and smiled with a nod. She smiled back. Jim who was hanging up the phone saw her smile and knowing it wasn't directed at him turned around to find Ryan was the receiptant of her attention. Catching that little exchange between the two of them made Jim feel rather nauseous. How could she?

Against his better judgment, Jim grouped the office group at Chili's. He couldn't stop himself from going over to talk to Pam. "So are you worried that you will be recognized?" He smiled as he referred to her lifetime ban of the Chili's restaurant for her habit of second drinks. She was so beautiful that night, especially as she was lying on the floor. It was as if she were waiting for him to join her. Subject change needed of his thoughts immediately before he embarrassed him self!
In spite of herself, Pam laughed. "I think that manager is gone, so I am feeling pretty confident." There was an awkward silence that hung in the air for a bit. She decided to suck it up. "So, how have you been?"

Jim wanted to really tell her how terrible life had been but he smiled. "Fine. Never better. You?"
Well, two can play at this game. Pam stared at him with open challenge. She was almost mad at him. "Fine. Never better."

Not knowing what to say next, Jim made a safe suggestion. "Shall we sit down?"

"Sure why not." Pam said in a strangely carefree but tightly wound voice. Once they arrived at the table, she deposited her self next to Ryan forcing him to sit opposite her.

Jim didn't really talk much the rest of the night. He nodded appropriately when Michael made his welcome speech to the new family members of the Scranton branch and answered questions when asked. But his primary activity was watching Pam. He watched her drink several pretty colored potions. He watched her touch Ryan far too often and he watched her try very hard to have fun. He wanted to yell that she shouldn't have to try so fucking hard to be happy. Jim wanted to grab her drunken little face and kiss her silly but of course he just watched her.
Kevin asked a very inappropriate but relevant question. "So Pam, what's going on? Are you seeing Ryan?"

Pam's eyes got huge and she didn't know how to response. She opened her mouth but nothing seemed to come out. He couldn't help but notice Kelly was listening closely for the answer and Jim was holding his breath. Ryan answered for her. "We are just friends, Kevin." He nodded his head to reinforce his words.

Kevin cracked a smile. "Yeah. Friends with benefits." Michael chortled a bit. Then several people laughed nervously.

Jim's heart screamed as Pam's blush told the truth. She and Ryan were together. He was going to be sick. He didn't care what it looked like, he needed to leave. He needed to get out of this place right now! He stood up awkwardly. "Well, it's been fun guys, but I have a long drive. See you on Monday." He couldn't look at Pam. He kept his eyes away from her direction. He left the restaurant and left Scranton as quickly as he could.

Pam just stared after him. Ryan squeezed her hand under the table and started the conversation in a different direction. He couldn't miss the fact that Kelly was shooting him daggers. She left after she told everyone how wonderful her doctor was to her. How he was the answer to her dreams. Soon he felt Pam squeeze his hand. Damn. Life Sucks!