Dang you guys are so hard on Dylan lol I thought for sure everybody would forgive his line of "you weren't that good" once you saw the intensity and emotions last chapter lol Some of you were like me who did. Some of you may not get over it at all lol But thats okay because that just means the story is making you feel and that my friends is great! I do want to say though not to take that comment to heart too much. It was bullshit, Dylan knows it was, Brenda knows it was, even though it had hurt her. They know what they shared. I feel if you hang on to that feeling you might not enjoy this chapter as much as I intended you too. So shake it off, have an open mind and more importantly ENJOY! Thank you for all the reviews, guesses, ideas and being so awesome. Here you go. Confrontation (if you want to call it that) #2.

Chapter 7

Brenda

Sometimes in life, you must do things that hurt you, and sitting across from my ex-boyfriend while I ignored a perfectly good dinner would hurt me. No pain, no gain. Twirling around I checked myself out in the mirror. I looked good. I looked better than good. I looked fucking fantastic.

The white, long-sleeved body con dress looked amazing against my skin. The white contrasted dramatically with my dark hair and the dress made my ass look fabulous. The tan wedges were cute and not too painful on my feet.

Nat had some things to do at the Pit so he took his truck. Brandon offered to drop me off at the restaurant. Not having a car was reminding me of my life back in the day. Depending on Brandon or he shall not be named for rides.

Thankfully things were close and I had uber but damn it I needed my own car. That was on my list of getting my shit together. I mean nobody walked in LA but me it seemed.

"You look nice." My brother's facial expression held a smirk. I rolled my eyes at what he wasn't saying. The weather was gloomy. I hoped it didn't rain. It would mess with my outfit.

"It's not what you think," I said as I got into his car.

"Not your fancy boyfriend coming to get you back?"

"It's more complicated than that."

"Always is Bren."

Ocean Prime was just like I remembered it, it was updated a little but still had an old school charm and it smelled divine. They still covered the tables in burgundy and cream cloths with a candle in the center. It was charming.

Dylan used to bring me there all the time. We always sat in the last booth away from everybody else. I had to fight the urge to look at our spot. It wasn't our anything anymore. As soon as Ashton saw me, he got up.

"You look beautiful, Brenda. I hope you don't mind, but I went ahead and ordered for us."

He grabbed my chair and pulled it back so that I could take a seat. Ashton was a gentleman, just not where it counted. Real gentleman didn't sleep with a city of women. Guess no one told him that.

"Can we please stop with the bullshit, Ashton? I'm tired, I left, and I burned all the things you gave me. What do you want from me? Haven't you humiliated me enough? Can we call it even and be done?"

Ashton took a sip of his water before he answered me. "I'm sorry, darling." I used to think I was special when Ashton called me darling. It was a British thing. It made me feel something more than the emptiness I carried with me. Except right now it irritated me.

"You're sorry or sorry you got caught? Because it didn't seem like you were sorry when Vivian was bent over my couch screaming for you to fuck her harder," I spat.

The rage I felt that day was coming back.

"I made a mistake, Brenda." He reached across the table to take my hand. "I love you, darling."

When you had abandonment issues, feeling desired felt good. It made you forget for a second the hurt you felt when someone left, but eventually that soothing feeling faded and the empty ache was still there.

"When you love someone, you don't cheat on them repeatedly. There isn't room for anyone else in the relationship because your heart is already full. When you love someone, you don't hurt them, because hurting them hurts you. Every decision you make is with the other person in mind. You'd do everything for their dreams to come true, even if it means sacrificing your own. You want them to be safe, you want to protect them."

My tone was soft but firm, getting my point across.

Ashton was quiet, and that was when I felt the heat at my back. Stupidly, I turned, my eyes automatically going to the table in the corner, it was empty. But the one next to it wasn't. They say time heals all wounds, but in my case, I felt like time just ripped them open again.

I blinked twice, trying to tell myself that I was losing it. There was no way Dylan was on a fucking date with Kelly right now. Thankfully they were not in our spot but this was just shit luck.

When our eyes locked, it felt like we were the only two people in the room. Nothing mattered except the two of us. Except that wasn't true, not anymore. All those feeling we had for each other, he now had for someone else, and it wasn't his fault, and it wasn't her fault. Hell, it wasn't even my fault.

When you loved someone, you'd do anything for them, you'd protect them with everything you had, and I had done that for Dylan, losing him in the process. So, I looked at Dylan one more time, and I promised myself I would let him go.

"It's hard to love someone who doesn't want to be loved. You can't say it was all bad, Brenda. At first, it was lovely. The more time passed, the more withdrawn you got. You never talked about your family, about your life here in the states. You were there with me, but you weren't."

"So, you had sex with someone else? It's not like I wasn't giving it to you," I replied harshly.

"It wasn't even about the sex. It was about the connection, you didn't give me that. Tell me how many times I came home stressed out of my mind and you bothered to ask me why?"

He was right, I never gave him a piece of me, a part of my soul. How could I when I never got it back?

"That's not the point, Ashton. You slept not only with one woman, but many. I could never forgive that."

The waiter brought our food, causing both of us to be quiet. I knew I would not be sticking around for much longer.

"Come back, darling. We can start over. I know we both had our faults, but we can still salvage what we had. You were good for me. Everyone loved you."

That automatically had alarm bells going off in my head.

Motherfucker.

It had never been about me, it was still about him.

I threw the napkin down, ready to bolt. "Un-fucking-believable, it's all about you and your career, isn't it?"

"I want you back, Brenda, and I believe we can start over again."

"Answer me?" I demanded.

"The play was a disaster, the reviews are torture. Vivian was not you. Everyone of them called the play a flop and everyone is blaming me for Brenda Walsh dropping out. You and I were part of an image, darling. When you left, it didn't look good for me, you're my star."

"But me having to get tested for STDs, that looks good for "our" image right?"

I grabbed my purse and got up, ready to leave, but Ashton took out a white envelope from his jacket.

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this." He sounded remorseful. He laid two pictures of me on the table. I didn't need to see more. I remember that day perfectly. After I found Ashton cheating, I left, but not before I took a crowbar to his car.

So fucking stupid. Not my finest moment.

I blame the movies for glamorizing car vandalism.

"You come back to London, star in the last performance, pretend we're still together at the after party, and I don't go to the police."

I was debating how much trouble would I get in with the cops? I had money in savings for fines and such, Dylan and Kelly had yet to cash the check I gave them, but I couldn't count on it. Even if they cashed it, it left me with some savings, but I needed a car, I needed a place to live, and let's be honest LA wasn't the cheapest place to live in. I'd rather owe Ash than Dylan, so that made things easy.

"Fine, one performance. After that, you can tell them I cheated on you for all I care, and I'm staying at the Four Seasons Hotel London at Park Lane. On you."

"Done." He gave me a triumphant smile. On the bright side, I killed two birds with one stone this way. I got to deal with Ashton, stay in a five star hotel on him, and I was going back to London. I'd come back here, but there were friends I hadn't even said goodbye too. I could benefit from the one performance and let the industry know I was in Los Angeles for the foreseeable future if they had any work here for me. This could actually help Ashton and myself, so thats why I agreed.

"Oh, and, Ashton, after this, forget you ever fucking knew me."

I got up, not wanting to spend another minute with him. I had had enough.

Before Ashton could reply, I heard Kelly's voice. "Trouble in paradise? I couldn't help and notice you two seemed a little tense. Wanted to make sure you were okay, Brenda?"

My shoulder burned from where Kelly was touching me. Someone tell this bitch to remove her hand before I slap her.

Dylan wasn't far off, he was right behind his fiancée. When I cast my eyes his way, he was glaring at Ashton. What the fuck was he mad for?

"Everything is perfect now, isn't, darling?" Ashton used the opportunity to wrap his hand around my waist. Dylan's eyes focusing on where his hand was. It was wrapped possessively around my midsection, his hand falling right under my boob. Dylan's eyes snapped back up at Ashton's, a look of pure possessiveness, rage and protectiveness shining through. I fought the urge to deck both of them in the face.

"Yes," I gritted. I didn't want Ash to tell Dylan or Kelly why he was here. It would humiliate me if they knew the truth. So, I let Ashton hold me. Picture fucking perfect couple.

Sticks and stones, right?

"Hello, I'm Kelly, and this is my fiancé, Dylan McKay." She extended her hand to shake Ashton's. I tried not to gag when he kissed her hand. Wasn't that what he did with me, and I found it swoon-worthy? Ick.

"Kelly, Dylan, can I call you, Dyl?" Ashton's hold on me became tighter as he shook Dylan's hand.

"No…you can not call me Dyl." Dylan said through his teeth.

"So, what is it you do Ashton?" Kelly asked as she leaned into Dylan. Obvious to me she heard his tone. My heart felt a little stab of pain when he put a hand across her waist. When I looked up, he was staring at me.

What happened to us? I looked at him and wondered.

You left me, I could have sworn he answered.

"I'm a director, mostly London but I have worked pretty much everywhere." Kelly's eyebrows rose with interest. It wasn't shocking, I had the same reaction. Even though Ashton was a slime ball, he was immensely talented for someone his age, and his credits were impressive.

Kelly smiled, "Interesting. Tell me Ashton, has Brenda been in your plays?"

Ashton smiles, "She has, she is a remarkable talent. Actually she is performing in South Pacific as Nellie next week."

"You're going back to London?" Dylan looks at me. The tone is hard to distinguish. I'm not sure if it was relief or disappointment. It's hard to tell by his expression.

"Wow…that's the lead." Kelly either doesn't comment or acknowledge Dylan's question. "I've seen the movie, it's a great story." Kelly says seriously. I would have actually thought she was being genuinely impressed but then she opened her mouth again, "Well…somethings don't ever change huh Bren…still sleeping with the director I see, honey who was that director in college at CU…Roy Randolph. That's it. He took a liking to our Brenda."

"Roy is a good friend, he has an eye for new talent. I owe him gratitude for finding Brenda here."

Kelly's smile widened, "I bet you do."

"Kelly that's enough." Dylan spoke loud and disgusted. His voice demanding authority. Our eyes locked. His expression sympathetic, outraged and embarrassed as his hand let go of Kelly's waist. He was pissed and not at me. His anger was directed at Kelly as he looked at her. This was too much.

"Can we go now?" I turned to Ashton, knowing full well how rude I sounded, but it was either we left or I exploded. I was a ticking time bomb.

"Stay, please join us for a drink. I'd love to hear all about how you two met and this play."

Her smile sweet like poison. Resting my head on Ashton's shoulders, I smiled back at her.

Bitch.

"I'll be right back," I told them. I went toward the restrooms, the emergency exit was right next to them.

When I opened the door, I cursed the light rain that was already drizzling. If my options were getting wet and increasing my chances of getting pneumonia or going back and having a drink with Ashton and Kelly, then pneumonia sounded fine to me.

My white dress was wet and clinging to my body, my hair was soaked, but somehow in the rain, I felt better than I ever had. It was like it was washing away everything I was, everything I'd been.

My dream of being with Dylan again had ended, and it was time to accept that sometimes we don't get what we want, and that was okay. Sometimes, things just ended, and you made peace with that.

Sometimes second or third chances weren't in the cards for you, and that was okay too. Because for a brief second, I tasted it, that dream, it was beautiful, and no one could take that away from me.

So, Kelly had him, but for a moment, so did I, and all those memories we made together she could never have. Even if it was painful to think about, for a moment in time, everything was perfect, and he had been mine.

Only mine.

Dylan

Throughout dinner, I couldn't hold a conversation with Kelly. Was she talking about the flowers she initially wanted were out of season? Was Brandon bringing a plus one? I honestly didn't care about either.

The wedding was three weeks away, and I should be focusing on it, but for the life of me, I couldn't help but steal glances at Brenda.

I knew it was her the moment she walked in because Kelly tensed up and her lips pursed, the food on her plate remained untouched.

Kelly had a Brenda look, and it was written all over her face. It was so unattractive. Her belittling, her cattiness, her jealousy, it was always a huge turn off and I had forgotten how much I used to loathe it.

Kelly held herself with poise. Especially now being older but as I looked at Kelly and saw the Brenda face, freshman year at college came roaring back to me. Brenda didn't deserve the treatment back then, she didn't deserve the treatment now either, it didn't matter what she had done to me. If there was an award for class and self respect in this situation, Brenda won it hands down. Then and now. But how was I any different? I was treating Brenda like shit too, sure I had apologized but it didn't matter, I had taken hits on her as well. Hits because of my hurt and pain and it wasn't a good enough excuse.

It was torture stealing glances at Brenda while talking about my wedding. When Kelly suggested we introduce ourselves to Brenda and her guest, I jumped at the chance to get close to her.

I knew I wasn't coming to taunt her. I wanted to see who she was with, who was this guy to her.

It was a lie, Dylan.

Those five words were haunting me. A desperate part of me wanted to throw caution to the wind and believe it, but I didn't know what to believe. Was this who Brenda left me for or was there really no one else?

I have to admit her choosing someone over me was a big part of my anger because when we had gotten back together, Brenda told me exactly what me choosing Kelly did to her. I was too blind to see it before and it broke my heart to know the truth. We worked through it and it had taken time. And after that, after everything, she was going to do it to me? It had never made sense.

When the man at her side introduced himself and said he was Ashton, as in the ex-boyfriend who was making her life miserable, I got insanely jealous. I wanted to punch him.

Kelly's bitchy remarks just confirmed freshman year in college as she brought up Roy Randolph. She didn't start the rumor, Steve had, but she gave it fuel. I knew Roy, actually I had gotten to know him when I lived in London. He was good guy, he only ever treated and looked at Brenda with professionalism.

I didn't have to know that then though to know that rumor was bullshit. Brenda wasn't easy and she would have never used her sexuality to get a part. A virgin when I met her. She had kissed a boy but all her sexual firsts were with me. At that time, I knew Brenda better than anyone, sex was special to her, it always had been. She had been with two men by then. Me and Stuart, I assumed anyway, I won't get into that fucktard but the point being…Brenda wasn't promiscuous. She would never use sex to get what she wanted. Sex for Brenda was a way to express her love for someone.

When I had went to London to her and we began our relationship again, I had learned she added only one person to her list in the two years she was living there before I came and it was a boy she had a relationship with.

If I was being honest, Kelly used sex to get what she wanted all the damn time, not Brenda. So when Kelly started going there, I knew I had to put a stop to it right then and there, not caring if she was pissed at me for it. The Brenda bashing ended now!

When she walked away to go to the bathroom, I knew she had no intention of coming back.

I quickly sent a text to Nancy, telling her to call me immediately with a work emergency.

I rushed out of the restaurant, not thinking straight. Honestly, I didn't give a fuck if Kelly bought the lie.

The rain was picking up speed. When I rounded the corner through the alley, I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw her.

Even through the rain, I could tell it was her. Her hair was soaking wet, her white dress clung to her body, and I could see everything. When she felt my presence, she looked up and as the rain hit her, I felt a blow to my gut.

Brenda had always been beautiful, but I couldn't find the words to describe her now. She was like fire, she burned bright and wild.

When she left, she scorched you, leaving an everlasting ember that wouldn't stop burning. A part of me needed her right now. I needed to have her close. I didn't think. I just walked up to her and dragged her with me into the darkness of the alley.

"Dylan, what are you doing?" I could see the confusion in her big, grey eyes.

When I walked outside, I did it intending to get things off my chest. What was this about returning to London. It should give me relief but it didn't. The thought of her gone again, made my chest ache.

When her lips parted, the words left me. I couldn't think of anything except her and the way her lips looked moist with water droplets.

I meant to tell her how wrong she was, that I didn't let her go. I had yet to find a way to do it. What she said yesterday, that was a game changer. Those words made the pit of my stomach sink. Made my heart beat again with the pain, and I let myself feel—not just what her words implicated but what the years without her felt like. It was an empty ache that wouldn't go away no matter how many women I fucked or how many bottles I drank because the space she occupied, no one could replace.

I tried.

Fuck did I try so hard to replace her.

I almost kissed her yesterday. She was so close, and I could taste the desire on her breath. When I opened my mouth to tell her all this, no words came out, instead, all I saw was her against the wall, her body wet and so close to mine.

She looked up at me, and those damn eyes were my undoing.

There wasn't anything gentle in the way I gripped her chin so I could kiss her. The rain ceased to exist the moment my mouth was on hers again. Her taste, fuck, how did I ever forget she tasted so sweet?

Brenda was shocked, and I used it to my advantage to take my fill of her. Everything about her was the same yet different. A part of me knew this was her—my girl.

I felt complete, yet I knew this wasn't the same girl I had once loved. It felt like an eternity for her to kiss me back.

Everything stopped when her lips moved against mine. My mind swirled with emotions.

Hunger.

Need.

Desperation.

Her hands clasped around my neck. My body was on autopilot as I picked her up, using the wall as leverage so I could feel her against me.

Brenda's hands raked my hair before her nails pressed against my neck. The pain made me growl with the need to take what used to be mine.

This was nothing like our first kiss. At the time we thought of it as intense and all consuming. Oh no, this was intense and all consuming, that was sweet and full of promise when compared.

Raw.

Angry.

Agonizing.

Possessive.

Still, it was fucking amazing. She tasted like fire, scorching my body and making me want more until I burned out.

My dick throbbed with need, especially since I could feel her every curve plastered against me. My body didn't care about her abandoning us. It wanted more. It wanted everything.

"Wrap those pretty legs around my waist," I demanded, and she complied.

Not breaking contact from her lips, my hands roamed her body, getting reacquainted with her curves and dips once again.

It's like I had forgotten what my hands could do. What they could feel. I wanted more. I needed more because I knew how quickly it could get taken away.

When my mouth kissed that spot behind her ear that drove her wild, she moaned my name. Hearing my name on her lips woke a part of me that had been dead.

I nipped and licked at her skin, drinking the rain from her body. I didn't realize how much I was starving for her until her taste was on my tongue.

"I need you, Bren." I heard the desperation in my voice, but I knew I wasn't alone. I also knew since her return I had not called her by her nickname. Using Brenda all the time felt wrong. She was Bren…she was my Bren. I know she realized I had said it the moment it left my lips because she stopped kissing me and looked at me. Her eyes teared up quickly and what stared back at me was affected, her look familiar...it was my Bren.

Her hands were at my waist, making fast work of my belt and pants. Brenda's hands trembled.

Fuck, if I was going to let her back out now. When she looked up at me again, I could see it clear as day, she wanted me as I wanted her.

"Tell me what you want, Bren." I said it again, her lips parted, it still affecting her to hear me call her it, but the words I wanted to hear didn't come out. "Tell me," I growled, pressing her harder against the wall, my fingers digging into her hips.

"You. I want you, Dyl," she said through gritted teeth. Fuck…the only person that called me that was her.

The world could explode around us at this moment, and I wouldn't hear a thing.

My hand made its way up her soft skin, to the warm apex of her thighs until I reached the thin material of cloth.

It was soaking wet, and it had nothing to do with the rain. I wished I had more time, more control, to insert my fingers in her, to explore her with my tongue. It had been so long.

Bunching the material, I gave it a tug, making Brenda's hips buck with the force when they ripped.

"Dylan… please… I need you." She kept grinding against my thigh, trying to get the release only I could give her.

"Then take me." That was all the warning I gave her before I entered her in one hard thrust. Pure fucking bliss the moment I slid inside her.

Hot.

Tight.

Mine.

I fucked her so hard I knew her back must burn, but I didn't care. Neither did she.

Brenda moaned in my ear, and hearing it both pained me and excited me.

How many nights did I hear her moans over and over in my head? How many times did I jerk off to her memory in my shower?

"Fuck baby." I grunted, the feeling overwhelming me. I captured her lips with my own. Our tongues lashed roughly against the other.

Her legs tried pulling me tighter against her, making her heels dig into my ass.

I smiled into her neck when she grunted in frustration. Trying to get us closer, trying to get me closer.

"Dylan, I need more." The desperation in her voice stopped me from taunting her.

I slammed into her with more force than necessary. Brenda's head hit the concrete wall as she cried out my name.

I looked into her eyes as her face filled with pleasure when I hit her G-spot. Her eyes closed in ecstasy as she moaned loudly. Her sounds picking up. It was my favorite song.

"Look at me baby," I ordered. And she did, not once breaking eye contact with me.

When I let myself go, I felt her contract tighter around me. She trembled and shook over and over as her orgasm hit her like a Mac truck. I hugged her tighter against me because I knew this moment was a gift. Sex with Brenda was always a gift.

I groaned loud when I came, my cock pulsated against her walls, marking her, and I never felt more at home in my whole life.

All those years of hell without her were worth it to feel heaven wrapped around me. I kissed her softly as we caught our breaths. Her eyes looking into mine satiated and satisfied.

I put her down gently, loving the way her body slid off mine. The rain making us stick to each other.

How many times did I search for this feeling again with all those women and none of them compared?

Brenda's hands were fisting my shirt like she didn't want to let go.

"Baby, are you okay?" I bent my head, so I could look into her eyes. The fire I had seen earlier was no longer there, her gaze was blank. That's when I noticed she was shaking.

"Bren, talk to me?" I pleaded, scared out of my mind. Fuck, did I hurt her? Did she hit her head harder than I thought?

She pushed me, but I wasn't moving. "What did we do, Dylan?" She whispered.

Even through the rain, I could see she was crying. "We shouldn't have done that."

"Bren, calm down, baby."

"Move the fuck out of my way, Dylan!" she yelled, and I did as she wished.

As soon as I stepped away from her, I felt cold. She started to walk away, and I stayed put, even though every cell in my body was yelling for me to go after her.

"So that's it, you're just going to leave again?" She stopped and looked at me, I took a step toward her but stopped as she backed away from me like I scared her.

Flinching, I took a step back. I didn't ever want her to be scared of me.

For one second, everything was perfect but the next it was all falling apart again.

"You're going back to London?" My voice anxious.

"This was a mistake…" She sobbed into her hand not answering.

"Brenda." I breathed shaking my head, moving towards her. This wasn't a mistake.

"Stay away from me." She put her hand up halting me. "Dylan just…" Then she ran away, tears still in her eyes.

I couldn't move. Brenda delivered a killing shot, and she didn't even know it.

I stood in the rain letting the water wash away what had just took place. I was a weak man when it came to Brenda Walsh. She was the only person who could make me lose control. Brenda had destroyed me once, and I was dumb enough to almost let it happen again.

She was my weakness, and I was… nothing. I half expected to turn and see the wall covered in flames, a sign of what Brenda and I had shared, or perhaps a sign that said I just had the best sex of my life, but the wall showed no evidence.

I was about to leave when something caught my eye. I saw the thin scrap of lace on the ground, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why I picked it up.

As I walked out of the alley soaking wet, only then did the impact of what had just happened hit me.

My wedding was three weeks away, and I had slept with someone else.

Worst of all, I didn't regret it.

I'd do it all over again if I could.

*Fans self as I cry* Next up…a flashback and you finally get to read the letter and the cause of that letter. Hit review kids. I'll leave my comments to myself after this chapter. Very interested to see what you are all are thinking. Are you happy? Are you disappointed? Why do you think Brenda ran away? Also there was one reader, they were a guest reader so I can't give them a shout out, who noticed Dylan had only been calling her Brenda. It was done on purpose. Way on purpose. Did you notice Ashton knew "Dyl"? That was on purpose too. Come on people give it to me, just like Dylan gave it to Brenda in the alley LMAO. Wink