Hey my friends, thanks for the amazing reviews. I'm glad I handled the DK break up okay. Never fun to write those two. I know lots of people had questions about the back story and frankly I just wanted a good reason for Brenda leaving and maybe it didn't make complete sense but hey it worked for the most part. Dylan will have words with Christine and Brenda I assume doesn't know Jack is alive. Not sure how much that will come in here but I remember in season 10 when Christine tells Dylan that people are still after Jack and that he needs to stay hidden etc. I got the idea from that but I figure Dylan will always be in so called danger but maybe Brenda isn't as concerned being back in the states with him. Who knows. My imagination only takes me so far LOL. Here is a very long chapter 10, enjoy!
Chapter 10
Brenda
The gossip circles in my old life were buzzing, the hot news on everyone's lips: I was a cheater. This didn't bother me that the opposite was true in this case, but across the pound Dylan was the cheater but I was his accomplice. Regardless, It was freeing having gotten closure from this part of my life.
Ashton had kept true to his word. After I called him, he picked me up in his rental. Ash didn't comment on the fact that I was crying or that I was a wreck. He drove us to the airport, to his private jet, where he poured me a glass of scotch, turned on his laptop, and left me alone.
When we got to the airstrip in Heathrow, Victor was waiting, so was William, Ashton's stage manager and close friend.
"Victor will drive you wherever you need to go for as long as you stay in town," Ashton said. Then he walked away.
The first few days back in London, I was still in shock after what I had done. I went back to the theatre and rehearsed my ass off. Upon catching Ashton with my understudy, I had just left. I hadn't forgotten my lines and stage directions but I felt rusty. I didn't pay attention to Vivian, my understudy because well, I wasn't that mad at her. Weird I know but truthfully maybe I actually owed her a little. If it wasn't for her and Ashton, I wouldn't have gone back to California and reconnected with my friends there. But I wasn't going to be her BFF either, bitch fucked may boyfriend.
The cast all knew I was only performing in this last show and it gave me a chance to say goodbye to the people I actually liked working with. I was not going to lie and say it was easy, because it was hard. I liked London and the people I had met over the years. They helped me become the woman I was today. My studies at RADA and acting career enabled me to stand proudly on my own two feet, but I'd been standing still for a while. It was time for me to move on.
The guilt set in after. The feeling was like carrying a heavy load on your back day in and day out. It made everything I did exhausting and made me feel undeserving. Which was ridiculous because regardless of who Ashton was I worked my ass off to get here. I needed to work on that.
On the day of the last show, I had accepted that I had slept with Dylan while he would marry another woman. I had to learn to live with that for my own sanity. The last show went on without a hitch. I got a standing ovation and the immediate reviews were wonderful. Ashton was thankful. I was heading to the after party when Ashton stopped by my dressing room.
"You look lovely," he said, and I heard the remorse in his voice.
"Remember our deal," I snapped back.
"Just for tonight," he replied.
That whole night, I saw my old life through clear eyes, and I realized that I was done with the London scene. I would miss the close friends I met here and I would definitely visit again at some point but it was time to reach higher, try my hand at different avenues of acting and California seemed like a good place to try just that.
I smiled at the "old friends" who dropped me when Ashton and I first split. All those women wanted to be me, and I laughed in pity at them.
The night dragged on, and my fake smile was becoming faker and faker, my politeness was wearing thin.
"It's hard to pretend isn't it, when you aren't on stage." William stood next to me while he ordered himself a drink.
I gave him a droll look. I never liked him, and I thought the feeling was mutual.
"And you know all about living a double life?"
Williams's eyes roamed my body, and he gave me a feral smile. I could see the appeal he had on women. With black hair and dark brown eyes, he looked menacing.
"Oh we're not talking about me. We're talking about you. Now close that mouth and smile at everyone. Give them the show they came here to see." Idiot.
"You want me to keep pretending to love Ash?" I bit back.
"But did you love him? I mean, if I had a woman sharing my bed and she called out another man's name in her sleep, I would toss her ass out."
I stopped mid sip to look at William, and I saw the judgment in his eyes.
"What are you talking about?" I whispered harshly.
William smiled as he sipped his cocktail, "Ash told me all about the times you whispered Dyl or Dylan in your dreams, once I believe you were even intimately attached. Like I said, I would have tossed you out on your ass."
Ashton never said a thing. I didn't even know I said Dylan's name in my sleep. And Dyl, it wasn't frequent I called him that. I think the first time was in high school senior year, I remember we were playing football in the quad, getting ready for graduation. Then in London it was more a way to get what I wanted. I'd give Dylan the look, a cute pout, say please Dyl and he was putty in my hands. He's grab me and laugh and ask me how the hell I did that. It was a gift I must say. But then again Dylan didn't deny me much anyway.
Ash knew as soon as he met Dylan. He knew, and that was why he asked him if he could call him Dyl instead of Dylan. The way he held me a little tighter made sense now.
"Ashton loved you, but you weren't his to keep. Still, he tried." William tipped the bartender generously and left me standing there trying to gather my thoughts.
The night went on, and I kept smiling and laughing and noticed that not once did Ashton kiss my lips; he stuck to my forehead. He didn't hold me close like he used to. He was giving me the space I had asked for.
When the night ended, I got into his car without turning back.
"I'm ready to leave," I told Victor, who was waiting for me, but before he could drive away, the door opened and Ashton sat beside me.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"I… I came to wish you well, Brenda. I really am sorry how things ended for us."
"You never said I talked in my sleep," I mumbled.
"It doesn't matter now," Ashton shrugged. "I am sorry for cheating on you. For hurting you." "You hurt my ego more than anything."
"Ditto, darling. At first, I wanted to make you jealous and get your attention." He laughed, "I now see that was not the way to go."
"I'm sorry about your car."
"I deserved it," he said just as Victor pulled up at the hotel. I turned to look at the building and back at Ashton, knowing full well that when I stepped out of this car, this chapter of my life would close, never to be revised.
"This is it, huh?" He said what I was thinking.
"We were wrong for each other. I hope you find the one, Ash. Just don't cheat on her."
He gave me a genuine smile, a smile that used to make me forget I had a broken heart.
"I'm still telling everyone you cheated on me… I'll need women to console my broken heart." "Asshole," I muttered, but I honestly didn't care anymore. Ashton and I would never be friends. I wasn't saying what he did was right, but there were a thousand things we both could have done differently.
"Goodbye, Ashton."
I closed the door as he said, "Have a good life, Brenda." I stayed at the hotel for one more week, tying up loose ends and spending time with my friends. It was only when I looked at the calendar did I realize the date. My stomach dropped, my blood pressure lowering. I was going to faint.
Dylan would get married on Saturday. I couldn't let him do it. I couldn't let him get married, not until I told him everything. Maybe it wouldn't make a difference, but if I said nothing, I would always wonder what if.
I left the hotel, not surprised that Ashton still took care of my extra week after the last performance. Victor was outside waiting for me when I came out with my luggage. I looked at the city where I pretended like I wasn't broken, and I knew it would be a while before I returned. Someday I would. I loved London and my time here. But it was time to move on.
"Where to, Ma petite fille?"
"I'm going home," I replied, the words no longer sounded unsure, nor homesick. I was going back to Beverly Hills where I always belonged.
Now here I was, unsure of what to do next.
"Thanks for picking me up. And sorry again for flaking out so quickly at the Pit, with Nat gone it couldn't have been easy." Emma shrugged.
"It's okay. I had help."
"Who helped?"
"Brandon, Donna, well we wouldn't let her do much but she tried, David, Steve, and Dex." I gave her a mischievous grin.
"I'm sure Dex loved to help."
"Do you want to walk home?" Emma glared at me.
I gasped, my little Emma was getting some bark.
"Sorry," she mumbled immediately.
"Don't apologize. You need to be more aggressive; you're too nice. But I have one question? Have there been more dates? More kissing? Anything?"
I smiled with delight when she blushed. "I don't know what we are. I mean, he kisses me, and he likes to hold my hand, but he hasn't asked me out."
She turned to look at me as we passed the Hollywood sign. "What does it mean? Does he think I'm easy?"
"Ask him if you guys are exclusive or dating other people. Then he'll give you the answer."
I could picture Dex getting mad. I just hoped I was around to watch him lose it. I knew for a fact Dex had no interest in seeing other people and the thought of Emma asking would make him commit fast.
I got out to stretch my legs when Emma stopped at the gas station. "I'm getting something to drink, you want something?"
"Ooh, get me a Slurpee," Emma shouted.
I walked into the gas station and headed to the back to get my drink.
"I still don't understand why you didn't accept to be part of the wedding party. I know both of us are less than thrilled about this wedding but he is your brother Erica."
"Because this wedding is a crock of shit."
I was about to get Emma's drink when I heard the familiar voices and instantly froze.
I need to leave ASAP, but Erica and Iris McKay turned around and saw me. Shit.
"Oh my god Brenda." Iris rushed me, her arms were around me in an instant as she hugged me fiercely.
"You're back, oh sweetheart."
"Hello Iris." My arms slowly winded around her midsection. When she pulled away her hand came to my cheek.
"It's wonderful to see you, you look well."
"Thank you." I replied. At one time I had been extremely close to Dylan's mother, her and I had a connection that ran deep, when I left, I had not only cut out Dylan, I had cut her out as well. It was too difficult.
Erica also gave me a slow glance, she stood shocked then a small smile spread across her face.
"It's good to see you Erica." I said politely. Things had gotten a little weird with the two of us. After I told her why I had left. We hadn't kept in touch. I don't think she liked the way I left but I felt like she understood why I had.
"You too. Surprised to see you." She replied.
I grabbed the first drink I touched. "This is my home."
Iris smiled widen, "Just in time. Have you seen Dylan? Does he know you're back darling?"
I looked down quickly, if I made eye contact, the inquisitive woman would see right through me.
"Um…actually yes…but I had some things to tie up in London, so I actually just flew in, coming from LAX as we speak."
"Wonderful." I snuck a peak at Iris, her eyes staring into mine. It was like her little psychic mind already knew we had fucked in an alley and had contact as her eyes gleamed with knowledge. "I'll be in town for the week, maybe we can have lunch?" She added.
"Sure. Of course." I gave her my nicest smile and leaned in to hug her again. No way I would have lunch with Iris, she would be able to tell my past, present and future in one lunch hour. Or she would nonchalantly get me to spill anything and everything to her. She was almost witchy like that.
Iris excused herself to pay for her gas I'd imagine and I was left with Erica.
"Have you told him why you left?" Erica stared at me. I knew Erica loved me like a sister. Her personality was tough like me and her protective aura she carried at the moment said sister my ass, Dylan is my brother. Blood brother.
"I haven't. Don't see how it matters much now."
Erica shook her head, "It matters Brenda…it matters a lot."
"You've known all along Erica, you could have told him at any point. You kept my secret from your brother too."
"Seriously? It's not like you left me much of a choice."
"Everyone has a choice Erica."
"Oh right, tell my brother and risk him getting killed, I didn't have a choice at all. He's about to marry her Brenda…you have to tell him."
"It's too late." I replied simply.
I turned around, paying for the drink in my hand and forgetting to get Emma's Slurpee. Erica and I would be fine, but I wasn't going to argue and air my dirty laundry out at the gas station. Especially because at this moment Erica was on big brother protect mode.
"Where's my drink?" Emma asked.
"The machine broke down. Here, I got you this." Emma looked at the drink and then at me.
"I don't like energy drinks but thanks." She grabbed the drink and threw it in the back seat.
I watched through the window as Iris and Erica argued. I didn't have it in me to care. That was Kelly's family to be…not mine anymore.
The truth was when coming back here, I had fully intended to tell Dylan the truth but lets face it wasn't it too late for this? Three years had past and he moved on. But the other side of me knew that Dylan deserved to know the truth whether it made a difference or not.
The wedding rehearsal had started, and all I had done was pace all over Nat's house. Nat knew there was something wrong with me, but he didn't point it out.
He watched me walk to my room, outside to the living room, and back again to my room. I was desperate, and time was agonizingly slow, taunting me. It was sink or swim time. Did I go over and tell Dylan how I felt despite everything working against us, or did I let him be happy with her?
It was stupid and so utterly selfish of me, but I wanted him to make a move. A part of me hoped he had canceled his wedding after what happened, but no one said anything. Was I a lousy lay? I shook my head to clear away unwanted thoughts. That was ridiculous. Dylan and I had amazing sex and that alley proved it hadn't changed.
"Looks like it's gonna rain," Nat announced, not even looking outside.
"I guess," I responded while I played with my hands and kept pacing his kitchen. God, give me a sign? Tell me what to do. The more time that passed, the more I felt like I was dying on the inside.
I could be impulsive and show up, but then what? What happened after I said my piece? What then?
"Brenda, sit your ass down," Nat raised his voice at me.
With shaky feet, I did as he asked.
"Now, I always let you all run around and make your own choices. Some of them good, Some of them bad, but as the gang's adoptive dad so to speak, I did the best I could. I watched you with that boy, and he cherished you. I also watched as he hurt you. Now I haven't asked a lot of questions. I know you stayed in London to study, Dylan was devastated. A different man. He was hard to even put up with most of the time. When I heard he left and was in London, I was thrilled. He needed you, that much was known. Then he comes back worse off then when he left. He again is unrecognizable. I tried, we all tried to help him and after almost killing himself with that stuff he finally came to his senses.
He told me why he came back. I knew from the talks of the rest of the gang that I was the only person he told the truth to. Then you come back. He all of a sudden is coming into the Peach Pit more than usual and staring at you like your a ghost. That boy is crazy about you, always has been."
I gulped, dude has Nat just been sitting there silently observing my life without me knowing?
"You wanted me to ask you, when you first returned. I didn't open my mouth because I figured in good time you would open up to me. I was always here for you but I've never been one to force my kids into talking. Now I see you ruining my carpet with your pacing. That boy would have moved heaven and earth for you. You left and took that boy's heart with you. Dylan was empty. He loves you Brenda." Nat takes a deep breath, his voice caring and sincere, "Did you leave Dylan in London because you found someone else? Because you weren't in love with him anymore?"
I shook my head, as tears spilled down my cheeks.
"Alright then, Now stop wasting your time and go stop that boy from making a mistake both of you can't come back from."
Wiping the tears from my face, I gave Nat a hug and a kiss on the cheek and ran to counter for the truck's keys.
The rain made it hard to drive, but I kept at it, needing to get to Dylan, at least to tell him what I felt before it was too late. Cranking the heater up so the window wouldn't fog, I then took my phone and dialed Brandon.
"Hey," he answered skeptically.
"Are there many people? Can you tell Dylan to meet me outside? I need to talk to him."
"What are you talking about, Bren?"
"The wedding rehearsal. Maybe Val then?"
"Seriously? I'm not part of the wedding party. Val isn't even invited to the wedding. We didn't go to the rehearsal dinner."
"I slept with him," I blurted. I needed to share it with someone else. "I know it was wrong, but… God, it just happened, and I know I should feel bad, but I can't make myself not want him. He's a part of me, and I can't picture myself without him. I tried, and I wasn't happy. I was just existing, but I wasn't living."
There was silence on the other end of the line until Valerie spoke oh so loudly.
"I knew it…go get your guy, Bren. Fuck Kelly Taylor and her stupid rehearsal dinner. God damn it she deserves it."
Who knew that was all the validation I needed?
I heard Brandon laugh, "Be safe Brenda…call me if you need me."
The rain got heavier, making it impossible to see what was in front of me. Driving at a snail pace I finally made it. When I got there, I pulled the truck to a stop. Underneath the awning I noticed a few lingering guests that I did not know, but off the to the side I saw Steve, Janet, Donna and David taking cover from the rain.
I rushed them, out of breath from dashing from the truck.
"Can one of you guys get Dylan…I need to tell him something." I breathed.
Steve looked weirdly at his wife, then Donna and David before looking back at me, "You don't know? This will be gossip for weeks. Dylan called off the wedding."
The air in my lungs whooshed out, "He did?" Oh my god what does this mean?
Donna nodded, "Kelly is a wreck, I wouldn't go in there if I were you. Dylan told her he didn't love her and she knows it's because of you. Something about Dylan being unfaithful? You didn't tell me you guys were having an affair." Donna says shocked but there isn't judgement behind her voice more hurt I hadn't told her.
My eyes dart to Steve who smirks at me, Janet looks sympathetic towards who I don't know and David looks to his feet. Ugh this is embarrassing.
"It wasn't an affair." I shake my head, not the time for this, "Where is Dylan?"
"Not here." David speaks up. "He told everyone to go home and he took off." David is now looking at me. There isn't judgement in his tone either. "It was time he told her the truth. Just wish he would have done it sooner." He takes a deep breath, "Maybe try the hotel. He lives at the BelAge still, room 872."
I'm touched David would tell me. I know his loyalty should lie with his sister. There is something in David's eyes that is understanding. I rush him and hug him. When Kelly and Dylan cheated on me in high school, everyone stayed very much out of it. They acted like it was no big deal though which hurt me. This felt so different.
"Thank you." I whisper out.
David holds me tightly as he nods, "He loves you Bren." I release him and look around the group. They smile at me. "I love him too." I nod and take off towards the truck.
"Go get him Bren!" Donna calls out.
"Be careful." Steve does too.
"Drive safe!" Janet joins in.
"I will." I yell back.
With this new information, the drive to the the hotel seems faster than the drive to the wedding rehearsal. I pull the truck up to the valet, throw him the keys and run into the lobby. I must looks like a freight to the fancy Beverly Hills elite soaking wet and running towards the elevator. I hit the 8th floor and try to keep my leg from bouncing with impatience. When the doors rang open I dash down the hall.
872….872…872! I see it, I pound on the door. Over and over.
Please Dylan be here. Please.
No answer. Nothing but silence. I knocked again, knowing that he wasn't here. My hand laid flat on his door. Tears fell from my eyes down my cheeks.
Beverly Hills was small…but LA was huge. It was like finding a needle in a hay stack. I could drive around aimlessly in the pouring rain, or I could stay here and wait for him. Then a thought crossed my mind. What if Kelly lived here too? What if she returned to find me and not Dylan. I shook my head, I wasn't ready for that confrontation. Honestly I don't think I ever would be.
I walked much slower. To the elevator, through the lobby and to valet. When the red truck came into view, I tipped him and went on my way.
I made my way back to Nat's. At least he called off the wedding. Maybe he was looking for me too? Maybe he wasn't, maybe he just wanted to be alone? When I walked into Nat's, he smiled at me.
"You missed Dylan by maybe 15 minutes."
"What?" My whole body sagged.
Nat nodded, he held out a small box and an envelope. "He has been looking all over for you."
"I went to the rehearsal dinner venue and his hotel. Looks like we missed each other. Did he say where he was going?"
Nat shook his head, but reached out further telling me to take the box and envelope. I reached with shaky hands. Nat winked at me.
"Heading to bed kid." He didn't say anything else as he made his way back to his bedroom. Leaving me the privacy I would need. I look down, close my eyes and exhaled.
I gently slid my index finger across the sealed envelope. I pull out the sheet of paper.
Dear Brenda
My eyes close remembering writing my own letter. I was scared to read it. I took a deep breath, my eyes looked down at the delicate script and I read.
In secret we met -
In silence I grieve,
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee? -
With silence and tears
― Lord Byron
Baby I need to see you. Come to our place. Open the box.
Real love - the kind that matters - isgiving your heart to someoneeven after she tries to hand it back.
With Love,
Dylan
My hand goes to my mouth as a sob escapes my lungs. I tear open the box quickly. Tears blinding me. As my hand lifts the top, I gasp. In it lies both halves of the heart necklace Dylan gave me for Christmas junior year. When I had left him, I didn't take it with me. I'm surprised because I did not leave it out for him to see. Which means he found it, took it with him and still had it all this time.
Our place.
I quickly grab Nat's truck keys. The rain has died down to a soft mist. I drive up Mulholland as quick as I can on such a windy road. As I pull into the second lookout the only car that sits is Dylan's Porsche. As the headlights hit him he turns towards me. He is in a suit, but has gotten rid of the jacket and tie. The top button undone. His hands in his pockets looking so sexy and beautiful in the dark with just the spotlight it makes me take a deep breath.
Leaving the headlights on, I climb out of the truck walking to stand ten feet for him. My chest feels tight it's hard to breath and my hands tremble as we stare at each other.
"You came." His voice is soft, like velvet against my ears.
"I was looking for you." I said breathless.
His mouth turns up into a small smirk, "I was looking for you too." He takes a step forward, so I move too.
"Erica told me…why you left."
"Dylan…" He holds up his hand. I stay silent and let him continue.
"All this time…I thought you left with someone else, all this time I thought you didn't love me."
I shake my head, tears filling my eyes quickly. I blink so I can see him, the sight something I don't want to miss.
Dylan takes a step towards me, "You could have told me."
I shake my head again, "You wouldn't have left."
"No…I wouldn't have."
Our eyes staring into each others. Silence grows heavy.
"Dylan…" I whisper, more like a breath.
"Are you home…for good?" He takes another step closer.
"You're my home." I reply. He takes the next few steps until he is right in front of me.
I jump when I feel his hand slide against my cheek before his fingers lock around the back of my neck, holding my face in place.
My heart hammers violently against my ribcage, my knees shaking under the weight of me. I open my mouth to speak but before I can utter a single word, warm lips settle over top of mine and in an instant, everything else flitters away.
I can't move, can't speak, can't comprehend a single thing other than how the space seems to come alive around us. Or maybe it's my very being that's come alive... Like shock paddles to a dying heart, I feel myself jolted from the dark, and I've never seen anything more clearly than I do in this very moment.
I feel his hands slide against my skin, feel the hardness of his arousal against my stomach and I swear I have never ached so deeply in my life. Never craved something so intensely with all that I am. It's overwhelming and disorienting to the point that I feel like I'm standing outside of my own body, watching my own destruction and being powerless to stop it.
Hell, not wanting to stop it.
Dylan presses his forehead against mine gently. We close our eyes to catch our breaths.
"I missed you Bren. I missed you so fucking much." He breathes. His breath hot against my lips. I realize I've been crying this whole time as salty tears wet his face.
"I missed you too."
He reaches down and grabs my hands, intertwining our fingers.
"I called off the wedding." He leans back to look into my eyes.
"I heard." His eyebrows raise questioning.
I laugh embarrassed, "I…went to the rehearsal dinner. But you were gone."
Dylan smiles, "Well shit that would have been something."
I chuckle and shake my head. Silence surrounds us again.
"I'm sorry." He says sincerely. I know he's talking about Kelly. The look in his eye tells me he's apologizing for going back to her, for being engaged to her and I can't be mad.
I shake my head, "I know…me too."
His lips come to mine again. This kiss is less urgent, more sweet, loving. His tongue tangles with mine in the most tenderest embrace.
"It's you Bren. It's only ever been you, and it will always be you, baby."
He spoke the words against my lips. I couldn't get enough. His proximity, his warmth, it was surreal touching him. I brought my hands to his face to feel him, to assure myself he was real, he wasn't a dream.
"I couldn't marry someone that isn't you. The day you left, you took a part of me with you and until I saw you again, I hadn't really known just how much was missing."
"I thought I was doing the right thing." I whispered.
"I know. Let's go." He released me but kept one hand in mine. "As much as I would love to reunite up here like old times." He smiled and it made me laugh, "I want feel you, see you."
"Ok." I nodded, wanting that too.
I followed Dylan back to the hotel. After valeting the cars I was surprised when he went to the front desk instead of the elevator. Dylan asked for a new room, and I didn't ask why because I knew why. I still didn't know if Kelly lived here with him, something pulled at my heart saying no but I'm sure she stayed there. I mean they were going to get married. They had been together for a year. It made sense and I was happy he thought of it without me having to ask.
I giggled when Dylan asked if room 271 was available. He just looked at me with a grin, a naughty sparkle in his eye. Of course it was available.
We hand and hand went to the elevator and up to the second floor. As we made our way to room 27, a sudden gust of deja vu hummed over me. I felt giddy and young.
I heard the electricity in the air. We were one spark away from bursting into flames.
When we stepped into the room, I threw my purse in a chair.
Dylan closed the door then stood right behind me, his hand moving from my lower back to my waist.
"The room looks the same. Updated bedding but the same."
I looked around, "Exactly."
Dylan swiped the hair off my neck and kissed my nape, causing shivers all over my body. I craned my neck, giving him better access. His hands glided down my waist and over the top of my jeans, undoing the top button, but he didn't pull my jeans down. Instead, his hands went under my shirt, making me feel his body heat as he slowly roamed his way up. My knees shook with nerves.
"I got you, baby," Dylan whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes remembering he said something similar to me all those years ago.
His breath on my skin made me dizzy with want. One of his hands was wrapped around my waist while he explored with the other. He stopped under my breast, feeling the lacy cups with the pads of his fingers.
Dylan pinched one of my pebbled nipples, causing my head to fall back. Then he did the same to the other, and my knees almost gave out. Soft little moans escaped my lips every time he nipped me with his teeth and pinched me with his fingers.
"Brenda," he growled, making the vibrations of his voice travel all the way to my aching sex.
"I'm trying to take my time with you…but fuck." He cursed.
"Then don't" I breathed.
Dylan made fast work of taking off my bra and shirt. He then turned me so I could face him. I was half clothed, but I had never felt barer, and he had seen all of me at one point.
There was something terrifying in letting someone who once knew you see all of you, exposing the grown-up pieces of you that didn't fit like before. It hadn't been that long but it felt different, we felt more grown up. Especially in the memories of this room.
I took a second to meet his eyes, but when I did, all I saw was a desire for me, and I took a deep breath, easing some of my tension.
"All this time and you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
"Dylan," I breathed.
He pulled me by the hips, so I was pressed against him. I could feel his heartbeat, or maybe it was my own. All I knew was it sounded like drums beckoning us. Lifting my hands, I undid the buttons of his shirt, peppering kisses on his skin as I went. His chest was firm and strong; it made my mouth water. I still had much to learn, much to discover, and I couldn't wait.
When his shirt was off, he picked me up, causing me to shriek. His chuckle was dark and sensual, and a wave of heat rushed to my core.
With ease, Dylan threw me on the bed, and that wicked grin he gave me made the anticipation unbearable.
His eyes never left mine, and I was lost in his lust-filled gaze.
"I want you Dylan."
His nostrils flared and his jaw clenched. With ease and precision, he removed my jeans and panties. I got up on my elbows to watch him take off his shoes and socks, and when he dropped his pants and boxer briefs, my mouth parted.
I knew he was big, losing my virginity hurt like a mother, but he was so gentle. Then I used to joke about his size in London. He would blush and get embarrassed, it was cute. Then as a reminder, I was sore after he fucked me against the wall in the alley, but I'd forgotten how beautiful he was.
"See something you like?" He grabbed his cock and jerked it. It made me laugh.
With my index finger, I motioned him over.
Gracefully, he got on the bed, and my heart was ready to beat out of my chest at the intimacy I thought I would never experience again.
Dylan used his knuckles to trace a path from my collarbone all the way down between my cleavage, stopping to trace the pad of his thumb on each taut nipple.
"Fuck, I missed them," he said before he bent down and took each breast in his mouth.
Grazing his teeth on each nipple caused my hips to lift off the bed and my clit to throb.
"I need you now," I demanded.
Dylan wasn't as much in a hurry as I was. He kept kissing his way down my body, nipping and licking. Exquisite torture.
"You'll have me after I have the taste of you on my tongue." He bit me below my navel, and ripples of desire spread throughout my body. My legs spread to give him room, and when he growled, I felt it thundering through my aching center.
The lash of his tongue had me moaning his name so loud I feared the people in the next room would hear me. Dylan kept at it, and when he inserted two fingers in me, I nearly came out of my skin.
"Dyl."I pleaded, for what I don't know. He didn't answer me, or maybe he did, but I couldn't hear him. I was ready to go off like fireworks when he sucked me. It didn't take long for me to orgasm. My hips shook, my legs trembled, but Dylan kept his mouth on me, drawing out my pleasure.
"Still my favorite thing to eat," he said with moist lips and a possessive look on his face. Even though I was drained, I couldn't help but laugh.
He positioned himself above me once again and brought his lips to mine. I kissed him back slowly, liking my taste on his lips. Last time I didn't get to relish the feel of him. Everything in that alley was raw and rough, forbidden. We were in such a frenzy, but now I couldn't wait.
Dylan kissed the tip of my nose, then proceeded to rest his forehead on top of mine as he slowly entered me. Still sensitive, my hips jerked a little, causing him to slide in faster.
"Fuck, baby."
Suddenly, I wanted to cry just thinking I could have missed out on this feeling between us for the rest of my life. Nothing compared, and nothing ever would.
"I love you, Bren." His words seared into my heart and brought down the remainder of the walls I had built since I left.
"I love you too," I finished saying before he was fully in me.
I felt so full... so loved. I'd had sex plenty of times, but making love, that only happened with him. We became a tangle of limbs. Our lips were clashing fervently, our hands touching every piece of skin that once had been denied.
"Oh, God." I threw my head back in ecstasy feeling on the edge. Dylan grabbed both my hands and clasped them behind my head as he held them, chasing his own release. His thrusts came rough and fast. He gritted as he gazed at me through half-mast eyes. My eyes closed as I began to chase my orgasm.
"Look at me baby."
My eyes snapped to his. There was something so intimate in looking into someone eyes when you fell apart. My orgasm came quick, my eyes glazed up at him, my insides clamped tightly, my body shook with pleasure, I moaned his name loudly.
Dylan pumped a few more times and groaned long and loud as he pushed into me deeply one last time and held firmly, emptying into me. Dylan's face lowered, resting in the crook of my neck as we caught our breaths. He rolled over, gathering me in his arms.
We laid in bed, my head to his chest, his arms around me, and our legs entwined. Was this how it felt to have all your shit together? It was nice—peaceful. But I would be lying if there wasn't things to discuss.
"Stay with me. We can keep this room but look for a place to start over. Live with me. Stay with me." He repeated.
"No." I breathed.
Dylan was quiet, so quiet I looked up at him. His eyes darkening, sadness spread over his features. I leaned up and kissed his jaw, running my hand through the stubble.
"You were suppose to get married tomorrow. You can't just switch me with Kelly and plant me in the new life you were ready to live." God it hurt to say her name.
"I love you, and I love that were here again together, but I can't move in with you. I'm not the same girl you loved in London, Dylan or in high school. I've changed and so have you. I think we should take it slow. Give time for the chaos to blow over. That way we can get to know each other all over again."
Dylan sat up abruptly, "Dammit, I just got you back, and you want space? Was the last three years not enough space for you?"
When he let me go, it felt like a physical blow, he looked so hurt and angry. "I lived three years believing a lie Brenda. The lived the last three years without you. The last thing I want is space."
"I'm not saying that, Dylan. I'm just saying to keep things quiet for now, out of respect for others, and meanwhile, we get reacquainted."
He ran his hand across his face, then shook his head, and my heart sank.
"At this point, I'd walk through fire if it meant that at the end of each day, you'd be in my arms. You want to keep things between us for now, fine, I'm all for it, baby. Fair warning, Bren, I will not make this easy on you. I've been wanting you since the day I met you, and that sure as fuck hasn't changed, so you pretend like we aren't together but I'm not going to pretend I'm not in love with you. I've been doing it for too long."
"Okay, deal." I smiled at him.
Dylan's gaze became heated and then soft as he smiled back at me. And just like that, we were back to being Dylan and Brenda.
So sorry for the delay in updates. But hope that was worth it for you. Hit review my ship soulmates! We have some cute chapters coming, with chalk board quotes and a not so secret relationship lol. Wink.