Keiji is escorted safely to his tent by Hana after having too many drinks. What follows leaves him soaked in a cold sweat.
Frustration
Sometimes after a long day a man needs to take the edge off and you can't think of any better way than sharing a drink with a friend. If there's anyone you can rely on to lift your spirits, it has to be Subaki. He's a man with charisma enough to lift an entire army's spirits if need be.
Not to mention he can certainly handle his wine, too.
Determined to take the lead, you slam your empty bottle down on the table. "And there's two!" you sound up confidently, opening the top two buttons of your undershirt to cool off. "Let's see you top that, Mister Best and Brightest!"
"And top it I shall," Subaki declares suavely, leaning back into his chair and folding his arms. "But first of... I hear somebody's been spending lots of time with Miss Felicia. How's that been going for you, I wonder?"
"Fine," you answer plainly, disregarding her affectionate gesture earlier. She was probably getting carried away with herself. Yes, that has to be it. "She's a fine friend, and the two of us see much more of each-other now that we both serve Lady Corrin in some capacity."
"I'll bet," Subaki says teasingly, smirking. "And I'll also bet you've been on your best behaviour, haven't you?"
You know where he's going, and you won't rise to it. "The finest, yes. I have to keep my mind clear of distractions, especially since Lord Ryoma has entrusted me with his sister's safety like this." And as much as you'd like to be open about your feelings for Corrin, it's out of the question.
"Sure you are, Keiji, sure," Subaki waves off your straight-laced answer, popping the cork on your next bottle. He passes it across to you, and you can't help but notice his smile fade. "...But what of Hana...?"
Your stomach jitters, and a shiver runs down your spine. Now you feel gloomy. "...What of her?"
The Sky Knight smiles cautiously. "...Have the two of you tried repairing things at all since-"
"No." You shake your head. "What's done is done. I let her down. And besides..." You pause and knock back a mouthful of wine, basking in the burn. "She deserves far better than I could ever give her. I can't change the past... but I'd like to think I can make a difference for the future. Especially now."
"Fair enough... Because Lord Ryoma has an eye on you, I'm guessing?"
"Right." You pass the bottle. Subaki takes a swig. "In time His Lordship may assign me greater tasks, and if that means I can take the fight to those Nohrian murderers in the process, I'm happy. Doing so would would help me avenge my father at the very least. As for what they did to Hana..."
"You still blame yourself, don't you, Keiji?" Subaki passes the bottle, looking quietly displeased with himself. You take a second, larger swig of the wine.
You put the bottle down on the table. Hanging your head, you exhale deeply. "...More than you realize."
Desperate to forget, you recall your evening with Corrin. She's like a cleansing breeze. Whenever you're with her, your bitterness fades.
"I think you've had a few too many, Keiji," Subaki half admonishes and half laughs, his arm around your middle to keep you upright.
"O-Only t-three," you slur. "Jus three..."
"Three bottles, Keiji," the Sky Night clarifies. "Gods, I don't envy your head in the morning."
"It'll all be fiiiine. All fine!" To Hell with the morning. You're having fun!
"We'll see, friend. Now, let's get you out into the fresh air."
Right! Air! Air is good. Y-You just need to... to reach the goddamn door first. Dang thing is - it's all the way across the room!
"Gotcha, Subaki! Say... Did I ever tell you that you're my fastest friend...? The very best since... well... ever!"
"Now I know you've had a skinful," your comrade snorts, rolling his eyes amusedly. "You're never this talkative sober."
"Thas cuz... Well thas cuz wine is..." You've lost the darn word you're looking for! "Wine is..."
"Your favourite, right?" Subaki offers, helping you up from the table. "Especially the Nohrian one we get from traders."
"R-Right! My favourite. Y-You see, Nohrian Elderberry's good, strong stuff. It helps a man forget - forget about all the bad things he sees in war... 'N that's what you've gotta do sometimes, right...? Shut out all the bad stuff you see..."
"Sure, Keiji. It certainly does. Now, let's get those legs moving. Unless you want to sleep in here tonight?"
The door, you totally forgot! "...O-Okay! Let's do this..."
Left foot ahead first. Then the Right foot. Left. Right. Left. Right. L-Left. R-R- Right!
"Don't trip on the bench!" Subaki warns, narrowly pulling you from the wooden bastard's path in a nick of time. Perching you by the doorway, he opens the door with one hand and quickly gets a good strong hold on you again. "That was close..."
"Y-Yes it was," you hiccup. "D-Damn legs jus' wouldn't move..."
Staggering out of the mess hall, a cool evening breeze fans your wine-flushed cheeks. Feels nice!
"Okay, we're out," Subaki declares triumphantly. "All that's left is to get you safely back to your ten-"
"Subaki! There you are!" a woman shouts, silencing your friend. Her voice is familiar. More than familiar. You'd know it anywhere.
You lift your eyes from your swaying feet, meeting unsteadily with a lady of middling height and chocolate-brown hair. She wears samurai attire, down the overcoat and traditional sandals. This girl? Y-You know her better than most. Gods as witness, you almost married her!
"Hey there, Hana!" Subaki greets your former-fiancé coolly. "Just helping Keiji here back to his tent. You need something?"
"I don't, but Sakura needs your troop report for Lord Ryoma," The swordswoman says with a frown, her hands falling to her narrow hips.
"She does?"
Hana nods sternly. "And Before bed, too. Word has it a Nohrian scouting party is nearby."
"Then I shall get right to it, as soon as I've helped Keiji safely home for the night."
"...I'll do it," Hana offers, and surprisingly meekly. Walking over to you both, she snatches one of your hands into hers and stakes a firm grip. "That way you can get to work with Our Lady's task." Her gaze softens as the two of you make eye contact. "And I can be sure this one doesn't hurt himself."
"Well then," Subaki chuckles, releasing you from his grasp, "it seems as though the lady has spoken. Off to the war tent I go!" He gives you a parting pat on the back. "Night there, friend. Here's hoping you're not feeling too dreadful come sunrise."
"I'll be fine!" you assure. You won't be seen wanting in this friendly contest.
"Ha! We'll soon see!" Subaki turns his attention to Hana. "Look after him."
"Will do!" she answers. Looking to you again once Subaki is gone, the swordswoman's eyes spell heartfelt concern. "How many have you had, you big idiot?" she asks, sounding more like an ashamed mother than anything.
You dunno if it's the booze or Hana's touch, but your heart is beating really fast! "Three. Bottles," you clarify. "Got a little carried away."
"Of course you did," Hana rolls her eyes. Looping an arm around your middle, she takes ahold of you supportively. "C'mon then, back to your tent we go."
Best you keep the mood light between you both, especially since the girl is going out of her way for you. "You remember where it is... right?"
"Very funny, Keiji," Hana giggles. You rest a hand upon her shoulder and get ready to steer your feet. "Alright. Let's go."
"As you ask, milady."
Your legs didn't want to move in the direction you told them to, and nor did your vision want to stop swaying. Somehow, you still made it to your tent though.
The night air has sobered you up some, too - Gods be praised.
Diligent in everything she does, Hana helps you down onto your bed. "Here we are. Home and warm." She smiles thinly.
"My thanks... I-I really..." You breathe in and out to collect yourself, fanning your heated cheeks. "I appreciate it."
"You're fine," Hana replies, sighing sadly. "...Though it pains me seeing you like this..."
"You need not dwell on it. I know I don't." Unwilling to indulge this well-trodden path of conversation again, you begin unlacing your boots. Your unsteady hands make untying laces complicated, unfortunately. "Damn things. Always hard to manage after a few..."
"Here, let me get those for you," offers Hana, exhaling deeply. Kneeling and helping out, the lassie quickly unties your laces. Simple task completed, she takes off your boots and slings them into the corner. Finished, she hops to her feet and ruffles your hair. "Now, you're not going to vomit, are you?"
"No." You carefully shake your head. "The worst of it's passed, I feel."
"Good, good. Though I might stay a little while, all the same. Just to make sure you don't."
"You don't need to." A much nicer way of telling her you'd rather she didn't.
Hana presses a finger to your lips. "But will anyway, like it or not." She draws her digit away. "Because I want to. And because we hardly talk these days." Without another word, the girl plops down beside you. "Be honest, Keiji... You avoid me, don't you?"
You lower your head, a guilty twinge gripping your chest.
"...Thought so," Hana sighs, your silence speaking volumes.
"Things were never going to be simple between us, not after all that happened," you counter - a desperate defence. "It's for the best we dedicate ourselves to our duties. You to Lady Sakura, and me to Lady Corrin. The only way this drawn-out war will end is if we cut through the Nohrians by force."
"I don't disagree. But surely you care for something more than fighting these days? The Keiji I knew was gentler, kinder."
You scoff bitterly. "...People change, Hana. All I want is to see day where there's peace - a world where the Nohrians are laid low."
"Gods, you're obsessed," the swordswoman retorts brusquely, resting her hand upon your leg. You stare at the worn bronze betrothal ring decorating her marriage finger. Your stomach churns the longer you look. "Sure, I'd love to see them suffer... after what happened. But I don't let it dominate my life."
You move her hand from your leg, tired of seeing her ring. "What they did to you is part of the reason why I feel this way in the first place."
"Then why in the world do you keep pushing me away...?!" Hana huffs exasperatedly.
"Because I have to rely on my own strength to do this... otherwise I can't rightly call myself a warrior of Hoshido!"
Hana snatches your wrist, growling. Eyes narrowed, she stares daggers. "You've nothing to prove! You've always done your duty and done it well! But carrying on like this, drinking and fighting while desperately trying to earn Ryoma's favour...?! It's all pointless if you do it alone, driven by anger!"
Her words a dagger through your heart, you pull free of once-beloved's grip. "You're a fool if you don't understand my reasons for doing this."
Hana gets up and stands in front of you. Cupping one of your cheeks, she forcibly raises your head from your lap. The girl's expression is one of immense pain and frustration, her deep brown eyes trembling with feeing. "I know why you're doing this," she admits in a low, fragile voice. "Of course I know. But you don't need to. I'm woman with a strong heart, Keiji. You know that better than anyone does. I can endure. I will endure. Even if it's hard sometimes..."
All the more reason you fight the good fight and put as many of those Nohrian bastards into the ground as possible.
"If I hadn't fallen short as a warrior then you wouldn't be in this position to begin with. Now please, leave Hana."
Hana retracts her hand from your cheek, her gaze hardening. "...Fine. Shut me out. Keep on going like you are, but don't blame me if it all goes wrong."
Without another word, the lady turns samurai leaves through the tent flap.
Alone now, you fall back against the bed. Anger and alcohol course through you, bringing your temper to a simmer."...I have to get stronger," you decree at a whisper. "Only then, will I be able to change things for the better." You crunch one of your hands into a balled fist, exhaling your seething rage.
For Hana. And for your father, too.
Closing your eyes, you surrender to sleep.
Even those of simple upbringings still have their scars: their wounds.
Throughout your life, you've had two recurring dreams. Well, one is a dream you can't make sense of. The other is a nightmare you can't escape.
One casts you into the icy cold; the other into searing flames most immense. A dream of Ice. A nightmare of fire.
Once again, you walk the burning road.
Blazing fires. Devouring flames. The stench of charred flesh.
You lay face down in the mud - the heat of burning buildings rousing you from sleep's grip. Lifting your head from the dirt, true horror waits ahead of you. Tearful mothers and children flee half-collapsed homes. Savage axemen chase them down and slaughter them with steel. Horsemen run down and trample any who get far enough beneath unforgiving hooves.
All the while, stinking barbarians subdue young women whom aren't fast enough to flee, pinning them to the ground and brutally defiling them for pleasure. One particular lass is stark naked with deep gashes covering her skin. A raider has her restrained against the side of a house and forces himself upon her. The poor girl's eyes are glassy and hollow.
Tormented howls carries over the ashy, choking air: those of tortured and hung up men. Fathers. Husbands. Farmers. Militiamen. It matters not. The raiders split their bellies with cleavers and flay the skin from their bones. Their fingers, hands and limbs are being cut away - disgusting decorations nailed to the settlement's walls; twisted victory displays by the black armoured marauders - warnings to those who would dare cross them.
Again, you're here. Okashi. The dead township.
Most of your samurai comrades sent to rescue the innocents are being tortured like the villagers. The raiders haven't nailed you up yet. Amidst the chaos however, you're trapped.
Two burly brutes have you restrained; one with a boot to your back, and the other constraining your neck with a bulging bicep.
A moment in time you've relived night after night. You know it's not real, but you know how it ends. And yet it doesn't lessen the thickness in your throat - nor the growing urge to vomit. Not by being choked, but because you know what happens next.
The last of the accompanying shrine maidens flops to the earth, her jagged neck stump gushing crimson. Naked, the skin of her shoulders gashed and her feminine modesty is savagely desecrated. Her form a sorry sight to behold, The earth beneath her flows red as the reek of iron boring into your nostrils.
"Pick him up," orders a man in blackened armor with a guttural laugh. Garon's general, Hans. "Let him see what weakness gets!"
His peons do as instructed, one tugging your head back by your hair.
Hana is just ahead. Ropes bind her arms and legs, and a dirty rag gags her mouth. Black-eyed and her face dirtied and scratched, she writhes and struggles against her bindings to no avail. Hans towers over her from behind; a thick and imposing wall of muscle. His inhuman gaze burning into Hana's head, he licks his lips.
His attentions snapping in your direction, the monster cracks his knuckles. "This one's yours... ain't she?"
Hans removes the rag from Hana's mouth.
"Get your filthy hands off me!" Hana barks defiantly, countless terrible curses tumbling out of her. "If you don't untie these bindings I'll-"
"Oh, you won't be saying that when I'm done with you," Hans warns, his tone low and foreboding. His eyes again shifting to you, he kicks Hana to the ground and violently rips the shirt from her back. "Time I claim my reward. Watching my boys have their fill has me tense as all hell..."
"Y-You wouldn't," Hana utters fearfully, her face washing pale in an instant. Her struggles intensify, only to be quashed with a harsh backhanded smack to the temple. Into the bloodied dirt she thumps, whimpering.
"Be a good whore and quit squirming!" Hans snarls.
Ready to do the unspeakable, he bellows with laughter from his stomach; an animal. "Let this be a lesson to your idiot lover for trying to fight me!"
You attempt to break free with redoubled ferocity. You're unable to loose your pent-up insults, your mouth also gagged.
"Hold him down!" Hans demands further.
The Butcher grabs for Hana's shorts and forcefully tugs them down to her calves, the waistband's elastic snapping under strain.
Tighter the Nohrian brutes restrain you, your efforts rendered worthless.
"Pathetic!" Hans sneers at you. "And that's what you'll always be, Hoshidan. War's won by the strong - they take what they please!" His attentions focused on truest barbarity, the Nohrian monster wrestles Hana onto all fours. "And unless you get stronger... you'll die a worthless dog's death!"
Hana's soul-shattering scream tears through your mind; a tempered sword plunging clean through you.
Awakening with a scream, you sit bolt upright.
Drenched in sweat and trembling with fear, you breathe frantically. Seconds pass, your heartbeat slowing.
Second by second, you calm down.
You're home and you're safe. The fires of the past claim you no longer.
"...The same damn nightmare," you lament, holding your head in your hands. "Dammit all."
To be continued...
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