A/N: Hello there! My old readers (love you all!) probably remember my first Romanogers story Somebody to die for (newcomers: do not forget to check it out if you haven't already!) so no further introduction in terms of my writing style is needed. Enjoy and drop a review, feedback is love!

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Marvel Cinematic Universe, etc.

Chapter 1

LONE WOLF

"Vengeance and revenge are just two words for pain." – Karen Michelle Johnston

1

"Captain, we are approaching HYDRA's facility." Pilot of the quinjet announced through the onboard speakers. "I will lower the ramp, get ready to parachute at proper altitude."

"Copy that." Steve Rogers said into a communicating device strapped to his left forearm. It was water-resistant and bulletproof as well as extremely durable, courtesy of Tony Stark. It had to be, for what Steve was about to do.

"Parachuting altitude in 5... 4... " The pilot started counting. "3… 2…"

Steve checked his suit and utility belt to determine if he had all the vital equipment at hand. Even a smallest gadget can give you an advantage in critical situation, especially when dealing with the most dangerous crime organization in the world. This was a solo mission, one that could be assigned to only a few people in the Agency, including him and one particular spy. Taking that into consideration, he could only rely on his abilities and luck.

"Now!"

Cap took a deep breath and leapt out of the quinjet, which was hovering over turbulent waters of the Northern Sea. As he actually decided not to use the parachute, he just jumped without one, keeping his upper and lower limbs together, so as to reduce the air resistance. None of the crew members of HYDRA's mobile facility spotted this human torpedo, which struck the water a dozen or so meters away of the hull of the steel colossus. Crashing of the waves was instantly muffled when he sank below the surface, surrounded by a myriad of bubbles.

He propelled himself with few quick moves and narrowed the distance between him and the giant ship. Steve readied launcher and fired it towards the railing above his head. Grappling hook flew towards its target.

CLANG!

He quickly climbed the rope, made out of carbon fibre specifically to hold his weight, and soon stood firmly on the deck of HYDRA's mobile weapon factory. Steve coiled the extremely thin rope and hid it inside one of many containers strapped to his utility belt. Then he began to scan the new environment.

Nicholas Fury told him this was one of many such floating units, scattered around the seas and oceans. Locating this vessel took S.H.I.E.L.D. almost two months, which speaks for itself – despite formidable web of agents and informants, Fury assessed the coordinates just yesterday and didn't hesitate to send Captain in, to put an end to the growing problem of HYDRA's illegal weapon industry. And now Steve was a few hundred kilometres into the cold sea, far away from the European coast and surrounded by at least fifty hostile agents.

In simple terms, Steve didn't expect a walk in the park. He had to find the plans concerning enemy's combat technology, which were bound to be stocked in ship's hold, destroy the hard drives as well as eliminate the crew. Sounded like a classic mission, but it was easier said than done.

The first opponent to cross his path was a regular guard, which gave him a taste what he was up against. Full equipment – body armour, helmet with integrated comlink, protective facemask, black machine gun with a small symbol on its grip. For Captain it was yet another unimportant HYDRA pawn, that had to be dealt with.

Enemy soldier received a blow to the solar plexus, then his chin, which caused him to drop unconscious onto the metal floor of the ship. The body, however, made no sound, as Steve purposefully held it. He took the comlink in order to eavesdrop eventual orders and checked enemy's right forearm.

Seeing a tattoo depicting skull surrounded by tentacles, caused his teeth to clench. For someone from Agency who didn't know him, it would be just another HYDRA soldier, not worth much attention. But for someone who actually knew Steve… In general Captain was disgusted by killing. He despised the act of taking someone's life, especially after what he had witnessed during WWII conflict, the worst nightmare that has ever happened to humanity. War taught him much; its lessons remained deep within his mind, behind the doors only he had keys to.

Pictures of long gone events suddenly flooded his head, causing him to shut his eyes. Recollection of war, pain, cruelty, death, fear. Old friends, old alliances broken and forgotten. Memories of her, her dark eyes and red lips, stuck in him like a bullet to the heart… War also left scars, though in his case not the physical ones, as serum-enhanced body coped with injuries beyond expectations. No. Mentally scarred, Steve Rogers became progressively indifferent, experiencing the worst feelings of them all.

Some would call it a PTSD, but he had a feeling it was more of one-way ticket into the void.

That was why he didn't have mercy for his enemies, descendants of those who took away his future so long ago. The only thing he received in return, was that he outlived all those whom he cared for. They all died. Steve knew that such vengeance was wrong, deep inside his conscience. But then again those small tattoos were a sign, among the ranks of HYDRA, that its bearer joined willingly. And that could not be forgiven.

His personal vendetta continued for a few years now, as he grew more and more detached. Oftentimes he just wished he died back there or at least remained in the ice, for eternity. If his life was to be a constant battle… then he didn't want to fight anymore.

Steve shook his head out of this dark train of thought and quickly disposed of the body. As always sense of duty came to the foreground, causing him to focus on the present.

He crouched and started to manoeuvre between crates of all shapes and sizes, which dotted the deck of the giant ship. They were strapped to metal platforms with ballast belts and covered with waterproof tarp, providing him with excellent obstacles to hide behind. His first objective was in vessel's hold, which turned out to be on – 5 level. He learned that eavesdropping the orders through enemy's comlink.

"How big is this ship? I hope those explosives will sink it." He pondered, making his way to the surveillance room. Cap picked the lock carefully and slipped inside silently.

The last thought of the two guards, who looked intently at the computer screens, was utter surprise as a mysterious intruder struck from the shadows sending both of them into oblivion. Steve then used a small, black device to hijack the system and soon all of the video surveillance was off, though the hostile crew was not aware of that.

He exited the room and went straight for the ship's hold. The main gate, marked with white sign 'Warning – area off limits' was guarded by four soldiers, each and every one of them fully equipped and well-armed. Steve cursed under his breath. He came up with a plan but it was one crazy piece of improvisation. He had to take them out, all at the same time, not allowing a single bullet to be fired. Nothing ventured, nothing gained they say, right?

He grabbed a small reinforcing bar, laying on top of a random crate and threw it onto the ground. As loud metallic sound drew attention of the guards, Steve's muscles flexed in anticipation of attack. The first guard received a direct punch to the face, his shattered mask proving insufficient protection against Captain's fist. The second one had his neck snapped before even the first body fell to the ground. Then Captain grabbed lifeless corpse and threw it at two other thugs knocking them onto the ground. All four guards were incapacitated, even though the fight lasted nothing more than a few heartbeats.

"Hey you! How did you get here?" Steve heard a voice with thick German accent behind him. He forgot about the fifth guard who was patrolling, while the super-soldier took out his friends. "Identify yourself!"

Without answering Steve spun around, throwing his shield at guard's head. His skull cracked with a loud noise and body fell to the ground with heavy thud, just as Cap grabbed his returning weapon. Fortunately nobody was alerted by his actions.

Steve wasn't even panting – one of many wonders Dr. Erskine's serum did to his body. He stuffed the corpses behind barrels with fuel, so they wouldn't be found too early. Thanks to a brief search Cap found a magnetic key card, which he used to open the gate and enter the storage depot. He was given clear instructions and knew where to look; HYDRA sensitive archives were protected in a metal chest with complicated locks, but Steve wasn't going to pick them – he just used a compact acetylene torch to break through the hardened steel.

Cap was looking at classified files, full of schematics he did not fully understand, however, it was enough to attract interest of S.H.I.E.L.D. Steve put all of them into a waterproof case and proceeded to plant one out of four explosives he was carrying. Thanks again to Tony Stark, the bombs were very small, but Steve suspected they would make huge mess anyway. Second and third explosives were planted in the technical rooms, where HYDRA crew mechanics tended to giant engines. Placement of the bombs was not random; after detonation the floating weapon factory would break in half and sink with no chances of survival, much like Titanic.

"Wow. Tony would probably kill me with his laughter if he heard such comparison. I would sound even older than I already do." Steve sighed under his nose, as he was taking care of another guards who, in all fairness, were no match for him. Soon enough Cap was heading towards the bridge.

He kicked the door so hard, it swung clean off its hinges, which was followed by a scream of surprise and pain. He stormed inside only to see ship's commander holding onto his broken leg. He was now laying on the floor, cursing through his teeth, seemingly harmless. But then Steve saw enemy's hand moving towards the small red button, purpose of which, was obvious to guess.

A moment later a metal shield broke commander's right arm, causing him to scream in pain even more. Steve moved on to the control console, full of levers, buttons and screens of all sorts. He placed the explosive on the main computer, making sure that all the drives will be destroyed in the process.

"You... You will not get away with this. " The thug managed to mumble under his breath. "Cut one head..."

"Yeah, yeah, two more shall take its place, I know. " Steve said in a tired voice. "I've heard that one before."

Then the final explosive clicked informing it was ready to be detonated.

"You... american scum..." With those hateful words HYDRA commander spat towards Steve, who grabbed the thug by his throat and raised him from the ground.

"Give my regards to Schmidt, when you two meet in hell." Steve hissed, crushing commander's neck.

He grabbed his shield and left the bridge.

2

Having little time left, Steve sprinted towards the foredeck, were he was to be picked by the quinjet. Captain took a signal flare out of his utility belt and fired it. Bright red light illuminated the sky and the last moments of the enemy ship. A few minutes later he was safely inside the quinjet, flying away.

"Now, let's see what Stark came up with this time." Steve clicked the detonator.

The blast caused him to lose hearing for a brief moment, at the same time causing the quinjet to tremble uncontrollably. "Jesus!"

"Captain, are you alright?" Pilot asked a bit panicked, as the radar and several other devices onboard went offline due to the explosion. Now he had to reboot the system and use alternative source of power.

"Yeah, keep flying!" Steve yelled in response, watching as HYDRA's giant steel monster sunk into the depths of the Northern Sea. No one was going to know what was inside, the wreck will be indistinguishable. The fuel and ammunition proved to be a powerful kindling, causing the ship to be engulfed in flames despite the surrounding water.

"We will reach Headquarters in four hours, Captain." Pilot informed as he regained control of the vehicle.

"Understood." Steve sat in the passengers' area, tired after whole operation. His heart was still beating quickly so he closed his eyes to relax. The anger directed at those who claimed his life seventy years ago, has been satisfied once more, but he still experienced this odd feeling. Like a scratch on the glass, almost invisible yet so infuriating.

Just as the pilot informed, they arrived in New York City on time. Quinjet landed on one of multiple air strips and Steve stepped out of the vehicle. He made his way to the office of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s director. Even though it was late in the night, Nicholas Fury was still working.

"Come in." He heard after a few knocks on the door. He shook hands with the director, which for most agents was a sign how much Nick trusted Steve. For the super-soldier that was completely normal, as he was part of the Avengers Program, initiative of Fury himself and his friend as well.

"Welcome back. What is the status of your mission, Captain?" Fury asked. "I awaited your report a few hours ago."

"Thanks to Stark's explosives some of the onboard devices were inactivated. And my personal comlink does not have such reach, sir." Steve justified, still having in mind how powerful those bombs were.

"I need to talk with Agent Stark about this. His technology is sometimes... overly efficient." Fury said and then pushed small black button on his desk. "Agent Coulson, report to my office immediately."

Steve handed him the folders containing schematics of new weaponry. "Apart from that I secured the files, destroyed the main computer and hard drives. None of the crew members survived the blast, sir."

Fury nodded and perused through the documents, his eyebrows narrowing with each page he flipped.

"Something's wrong, sir?" Steve asked, glancing at the files he acquired. He didn't understand much out of them, that was Tony's and Bruce's area of expertise.

"Nothing you should worry about now, Captain." Fury replied though his expression told otherwise. Then agent Coulson entered the room, causing Steve to sigh inaudibly.

Phil was an excellent agent and an asset to the Agency considering his organizational abilities, but he was also pain in the ass for one simple reason. Coulson adored Steve Rogers and would always freak out, always pleading his idol to sign Captain America Trading Cards deck, which he always carried with him.

"Agent Coulson, I would like you to take these to our experts in the Defense Department. You are to oversee the deciphering process. I must know what we are up against." Fury ordered. "As for you Captain, you are dismissed."

Steve nodded and headed towards exit, hoping Coulson wouldn't corner him this time. He was wrong.

When he came back to his apartment it was still dark. Cold September night made his small flat even more depressing then usually. Steve sighed, hanging leather jacket on the rack and taking off his boots. He made his way towards the bed, not even bothering to change or shower.

The moment his head hit the pillow, Steve drifted into a disturbing dream, one that he could not expect to haunt him in the nearest future. What was that, scratch on the glass? More like a scratch on your soul.

3

He was standing in the middle of a forest, far away from any human civilization. Though it was winter time and the branches were leafless, he could not see much as the trees grew close together. For some reason he felt uneasy, surrounded by those silent things pointing towards the sky, like twisted fingers. He began to trek through the thick snow in search of something he could not even determine. No birds sang and no animal crossed his way.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally emerged from between the dead trunks and found himself standing in a small clearing. It started to snow, intricately built snowflakes settled on his hair and eyebrows, causing him to look much older than his body would suggest.

He sighed, intending to continue the walk when he heard a powerful crack and suddenly fell onto his knees. His heart started to beat rapidly and uncontrollably, which was unprecedented since being injected with Doctor Abraham Erskine's super-soldier serum.

Then a giant fissure opened underneath him, but his gaze was locked on something… someone else, someone who appeared out of thin air, just a few steps in front of him.

The blizzard intensified and he had difficulties in recognizing who was standing among raging ice; what he managed to see were ardent eyes and fiery hair. The mysterious person was standing barefoot in the snow, pale skin matching the whiteness of the snow. He felt those eyes piercing through his soul but could not help to look deeper within them. to drown. It was intoxicating and agonizing feeling at the same time. The being lifted its hand and pointed lean fingers towards him as if in an act of silent accusation.

For some reason he instantly understood what was hidden behind this gesture and behind this terrifying mask of ice.

"No. It was not my fault! If I hadn't crash millions would die!"

The figure still pointed its finger and he realized that the freezing wind was blowing from its direction. The cold intensified even more.

"No! She moved on! And I… I accepted that!"

The fissure beneath him opened wider, devouring him, encasing his numb body in an ice tomb. Everything went into the black nothingness.

Steve Rogers waked abruptly, drenched with sweat and heavily panting with anger and frustration.

"I refuse. This is not happening." He whispered to no-one in particular. He was about to lay down and try to fall asleep again, but then he felt as if someone poured boiling rage into his veins once more. It took over him in a blink of an eye.

"No, no, no!" He shouted, furiously punching the wall he was sleeping next to. "NO!"

A/N: Creating Steve who struggles with PTSD, becoming more and more ruthless, is a new approach for me and I'd like to see how it evolves. If you happen to have any thoughts or suggestions then PM me or leave a comment, please don't be shy. Stay tuned for more! WS