Sorry that it has taken so long...school is stressful to start with. I hope to get a few chapters up over the long weekend, but it's the 1st football game of the season, so I'll try. Please R&R and tell what you think and if you think i should keep going or call it quits.

Lucy and I got on a plane three days later heading back to the only place I would ever consider home. I was so excited about showing my sister around my home, and letting her meet my best friend.

We landed in my hometown after a plane ride that once again seemed like it had taken forever.

Aunt Susan picked us up at the airport. We all hugged and then headed out to Aunt Susan's apartment.

Lucy took the couch and I was sleeping in Aunt Susan's room.

We had been there for about an hour when I said," I'm going to go see my mom. Does anyone want to come?"

They both said they would go with me.

We got into Aunt Susan's VW Bug and drove to the cemetery. We stayed for about an hour. Mostly Lucy and Aunt Susan sat on a bench under a tree and I sat at mom's tombstone and talked to her. I had so much to tell her. It had been such a long time since I had gotten to talk to her last.

Lucy walked up and sat down beside me after a while. She asked," What are you telling her?"

I simply answered her," Everything."

She asked," do you talk to her at our house?"

I said," I try… but I don't think she can hear me there."

Lucy asked," Why not?"

I said," Because she's here."

Lucy said," But, Sarah, she's not. I know you want her to be, and I promise you I want her to be here too. She's not here."

I said," Under where I'm sitting is the person who held me when I was scared and sang to me and loved me. She's right here. Her soul isn't here anymore. I know that, but the arms that held me close and never let go are right here. She's here."

Lucy sat there quietly for a little while longer before she said," Ready to go? We can come back later this week if you want."

I said," Okay," I leaned down and kissed the tombstone and said," I love you mom, bye bubby."

Lucy asked," Is that what you called him?"

I said," Yeah, I loved him. He was bubby and I was sissy. He loved me. He gave up everything for me."

I got up and walked back to the car.

We went to dinner.

The next day Aunt Susan went into work and I woke Lucy up. I said," I'm leaving in about a half hour to go to my house. Are you coming?"

She said," Yeah, let me get dressed."

I said," Don't wear anything expensive."

She asked," Why?"

I said," You'll stand out. You never want to stand out where I grew up."

Once she was ready we walked all the way down to my house. Aunt Susan hadn't finished cleaning out the apartment yet, so it was still ours. I unlocked the door and opened it.

I said," Welcome to my home."

Lucy looked around. I could tell by the look on her face that she really didn't know where I had come from. She seemed shocked by our beaten and worn couch and the crate for a coffee table. The rug that had probably been installed in the 40's and never cleaned made her wrinkle her nose. Our tiny kitchen with the bright yellow curtains and out of date counters and cabinets, she was amazed.

I led her down the hall to our room.

I said," This is where mom and I slept. This was mom's bed and that's mine over there in the other corner. The room across the hall was our brothers. His medals need to be put into a shadow box, and his flag is still here."

She asked," His flag?"

I said," HE was buried with military honors. He had a flagged draped over his coffin. Don't you remember? You were here."

She said," I think I blocked those days from my mind."

I sat down on the mattress and said," I wish I could do that, but how do you block out the day that your life ended?"

She said," You life didn't end. Just the chapter you were in."