We sat there without saying a word.

I said," For you and dad and everyone else one chapter ended and another one started with me in it. But for me the story ended. My life isn't the happy fairy tale that yours has been. I had a story book, when I was little, before you left. Then I started a new book, here, in the projects. You don't know what living here is like. You wouldn't survive a day here. People shoot at you and there are drug dealers and gangs. You would never understand. None of you would be able to survive the life I live. You don't know what it's like to struggle for basic survival. Everything you ever needed was given to you; you only had to work for the things you wanted. Lucy, I had to work for the things I needed. When I was six we went for a week without food, we had expenses we hadn't planned on and we were out of food stamps. I finally went out and begged strangers for money so that I could get us some food. You were a sheltered child in an upper class neighborhood, the daughter of a minister. I wasn't."

Aunt Susan had come in and asked," Would you change anything?"

I looked out the window and thought for a minute before I answered," Mom always told me that we didn't have much, but we had it all as long as we were together…I would change the fact I wasn't in the car. We could have still had it all if we were together."

No one said anything for a long time.

Aunt Susan finally broke the silence and said," Let's go back to my apartment. We can come back and pack some tomorrow."

I said," I'm going to stay here."

Lucy said," You can't stay here alone."

I asked," Why not, I've been doing it my whole life?"

She just looked at me.

I said," Don't worry. You don't have to stay here. I don't want anyone to stay here."

Aunt Susan knew what I was getting at. She asked," What are you going to do?"

She already knew my answer, but she also knew that Lucy didn't.

I said," I'm going to say good-bye."

With that, they left me there alone in the apartment.

I heard the door lock behind them and then the house was quiet. I walked into the living room and pulled the tiny tape player out from under the couch where we kept it and plugged it up. I hit the play button and turned up the radio. The room filled with music.

I pulled the photo album out of the crate and sat back on the couch with my legs crossed and opened the book to the first page. There was a photo of us smiling together. Aunt Susan had taken it at Thanksgiving. It was the first time in a few years that we had, had a turkey… we were happy.

I spent all night packing the apartment myself. It was my way of telling them good-bye. Aunt Susan and Lucy came around eight the next morning. The boxes were stacked neatly in a corner and the furniture we had was stacked neatly in the other. There was one box I had found hidden in the back of the linen closet that I didn't know what it was, but written in my mom's handwriting was," For Sarah."

I asked," Aunt Susan, do you know what's in this box?"

She looked at it for a minute and then a tear fell from her eye as she shook her head yes.

I asked," What is it?"

She said," Why don't you open it up and look."

I opened the box and saw newspaper. When I pulled off the first piece, a tear fell from my eye.

I said," I thought we got rid of this. I told mom to sell it when money got real tight."

She said," I know, I gave her the money and told her to keep it."

Lucy asked," What is it?"

I said," The White Album."

She said," The what?"

I said," The Beetles, The White Album."

She said," Okay, what's so special about it?"

I said," It's a piece of my childhood you would never understand."

That's all I said before I pulled out a tiny white shirt box. I opened it.

Aunt Susan said," That's the outfit you were brought home in. Your mom made it just for you. She knew something different would happen to you before you grew up. I think that's why she made this box, and why she left the quilts."

I said," Why did she think something different would happen to me?"

She said," Your mom was always had really good instincts about things. Want to know something else she knew?"

I shook my head yes as she reached into the box and pulled out a book.

She handed me the book and said," She always knew you would make a difference."

I opened the book. It started on December 25, the Christmas my dad left. My mom had carefully recorded my life and her hopes and dreams for me.

I cried as I read the pages of her hopes and dreams for me. She had such high hopes for me. Growing old and getting married, having kids and giving them the life I always wanted, but planting in them the same values I had struggled to learn, the life lessons the projects had taught me. How would I ever make her dreams for me come true?

Aunt Susan must have known what I was thinking, because she wrapped her arm around me and said," Just keep living. Learn to Love again, and let yourself be loved. That's all she ever wanted for you was for you to be loved."

I placed everything back into the box and we loaded one of Aunt Susan's, friend's van and locked the door to the place that had once been my home.

Now there was no turning back.

My dad's house was the only home I had…I called it my home.

….

My home… I guess living there won't be horrible. I will still be able to come visit Aunt Susan, and I will have my brother and sisters back.