sorry it took me so long to update...schools got me running in circles trying to get everything done when it needs to be done...hope you like this chapter...please R&R

I got up and walked into the house followed by my sister.

I walked up to my room and quietly shut the door.

I slipped between the covers on my bed and turned off the light.

I wrapped my arms around my bear and whispered softly to the darkness," I still love you the mostest."

Annie woke me up the next morning. She said," We're going clothes shopping, Do you want to come and get some new school clothes?"

Then it hit me all of the sudden like a ton of bricks, I would never be able to shop with my mom again. I would be going to a new school, with people I didn't know, and I couldn't come home to my mom at the end of the day.

I managed to say through the tears I was holding inside," Thanks, but I already went school shopping."

The truth was, I hadn't, I just couldn't do something like that with her.

School shopping had always been a big thing when I was growing up. My mom and brother saved up extra money to buy me the cool pencils and a new outfit and pair of school shoes.

I couldn't do any of those this with Annie, she couldn't have that memory.

She looked at me for a second then said," Okay, if you change you mind just tell me, we aren't leaving until around lunch."

I said," Thanks."

She turned and walked out of the room. I got up and shut the door after her. I turned around and slid down the door as tears poured from my eyes.

I buried my face into my knees and tried to muffle my sobs.

There was a soft knock on the door that startled me.

I heard a soft voice say from the other side," Sarah, it's just me, will you please open the door?"

It was Mary.

I said back," I just want to be alone, please, just leave me alone."

She pushed on the door and I moved out of the way.

She shut the door back behind her and sat down beside me. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into her arms as I cried.

It felt good to have her hold me again. She hadn't held me like this since the night she left.

She slowly rocked back and forth until I wasn't sobbing anymore, and the tears just flowed silently down my face.

She whispered," I know why you won't go shopping, and its okay."

I said," I want mom, Mary, I want our mom."

She held me closer and said as a tear fell from her eye," I want her too."

I felt the tear hit my cheek as she cried. I looked up. None of them had ever cried for mom, not even at the funeral. They had looked so detached and uncaring at the funeral, almost like they didn't care, but she was crying now. About our mom.

I pulled away and said," This is the first time you've cried."

She said as she wiped a tear away," No it's not. We're just a lot a like. We like to cry alone, in the dark, when we think no one can hear us. I can hear you. You don't have to cry alone Sarah. I love you, we love you; you're not alone anymore."

I said," I know, but I feel so alone without her, and I don't even have my friends. Mary I don't want to go to a new school. I want to go to my school, with my friends, and in my town."

She said," I know you do, and I can't even imagine having to change schools, but it'll be okay. You're going to have friends in no time….after all you have me as a big sister."

We both laughed.

I said," Yeah, remind me not to tell people that."

She wiped the rest of the tears from my face and said," How about you and me and Lucy and Danielle take you out school shopping. I'm sure Annie will understand."

I said," I'd like that."

She said," Get dressed. I'll go talk to everybody."

I got dressed and walked downstairs to the kitchen.

Annie had made toast and eggs. She handed me a plate and I sat down next to Mary.

I looked at Mary and she shook her head no.

I asked," What?"

She said," Annie wants to take you shopping on her own."

I said," I want to go with you and Lucy and Danielle."

She said," And Annie wants to take you. She's thinks it'll be good for the two of you to have some quality time together."

I got up and said," No, I don't want to go with Annie. This was something I did with my mom, with you I won't go with any one else. I'll just wear what I already have and use my binder from last year."

I got up and ran up to my room. I'm sure they heard me slam the door in the kitchen.

There was a knock a little while later.

I asked," What?"

My dad said," Can we talk?"

I said," I'm not going school shopping with Annie. I can't."

He sat down on the bed beside me and asked," Why can't you?"

I said," If you don't know, then you really don't know me at all."

He said," Sarah, I know it was something special that you did with you mom, and that's why Annie wants to do it with you."

I stood up in front of him and yelled," Annie is NOT my mother! And she never will be!" I ran out of the house. I ran into the garage apartment and found Lucy sitting on the bed watching TV.

She asked," What's wrong?"

I was completely out of breath. I heard dad calling my name.

I looked at Lucy and said," I don't want to talk to him. Make him go away."

Lucy said," Slow down, why don't you want to talk to him."

I said," I can't talk to him now. Make him go away."

He walked up the stairs. Lucy asked," Dad, can you give us a few minutes please?"

He said," I need to talk to her."

I said," I don't want to talk to you, and I'm not going with her."

I started to run out the door, but Lucy caught my arm. Mary ran up the stairs about that time.

Lucy said," Give us a little while. We'll be in the house later." He finally left.

I fought to get away from Lucy.

Mary pulled me into her arms and said," Calm down. Take a deep breath and calm down."

I stopped fighting and sat down on the bed.

Lucy asked," What is going on Sarah? What did I miss?"

I said," Annie wants to take me shopping for school. I just want to go with you and Mary and Danielle, but she won't listen. Dad won't listen. I won't go with her. She's not my mother. This was something special. She can't have it."

Lucy asked," Can't have what?"

I said," That memory... I never want to look back in my life and remember going shopping for school with the person who took away my family."