Chappie 5

Dear bitch,

I have had it with your attitude! If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have a friend! I was your only friend. And how dare you insult Mr. Fluffellops! He doesn't hump your leg! Stop making up lies. And don't pretend that your friends with the Gorillaz because that is just sad! I always knew you would run away because you know that you are nothing without me! If you really insist about being friends with the Gorillaz, then call me and let me talk to them!

-Hilary-

I groaned. I knew she would get all huffy. I'll call her and let her talk to 2D. She will have to believe me! I had been with the Gorillaz for two days now.

"Hey! 2D!" I called.

There was a few seconds pause "Yeah?" his voice came from his bathroom.

"Where's the phone?"

"I dunno. I last saw it under my mattress."

I opened my mouth to ask why but decided not to. I felt under the mattress. There were things under there that didn't feel like anything I had felt before. Eventually, I found the phone and pulled it out, expecting it to be gooey or something, but it was clean. I punched in Hilary's number. It sickened me to remember her number anyway.

"Hello, this is Hilary Lapanz, how may I help you?" Her posh voice made my teeth grate. I know I said she was my best mate but I remembered the way she treated me.

"Yeah, this is Sam."

"Oh, you actually had the guts to call? Then please, apologize to Mr. Fluffellops." I heard a licking on the other side of the phone. It was her stupid cat.

"I ain't sayin' sorry to your cat! He wouldn't stop humping my leg!"

"Shut up."

"Fine. I'll hand you over to 2D."

There was a chuckle on the phone "Go on then." She sounded amused.

I called 2D.

"What?"

"My… ahem… Friend wants to speak to you." I made sure Hilary heard.

"Awright, wait a sec…" He came out, blood trickling down from his nose. He had a nosebleed because Murdoc had supposedly, accidentally, thrown a baseball at his face.

He took the phone and had to look up to keep the blood from falling to the ground "Yeah, what'd ya wan'?"

"Is that 2D?" I could hear that she sounded shocked.

"Well duh!" I said she heard my voice in the background.

"… You are 2D, lead singer of the Gorillaz?"

2D sighed in frustration "Nah, I'm the guy livin' under ya bed, what ya fink?"

"You're probably just an impersonator!"

"Nah I ain't. I'll let ya talk to Noods if ya wan'."

Hilary was silent in reply. 2D called for Noods. I didn't think she would hear him but she came bounding through the car park to his room.

"Hai?" she asked.

"Sam's friend wans' to talk to ya." He handed her the phone.

"Konichiwa?"

"Um… Hi. Are you Noodle?"

"Hai! You speak Japanese?"

"No…"

"O.K. I speak English for you to understand. Are you nice as Sam's friend?" She spoke quite quickly.

"Yes, I was, until she hurt my poor Mr. Fluffellops…"

"What is a Mr. Fluffellops?"

I grabbed the phone "So, there you go. You got your damn proof!" I didn't hear what she said because I hung up on her. I thanked Noodle; she smiled and disappeared back to her room.

I looked back at 2D but couldn't help giggling. He had two tissues stuffed up his nostrils and it made him talk funny.

"Yeah yeah. Funny, whateva'. Ya so immature…"

"Haha! Look who's talking! I'm not the one who plays battleships in the bath!"

He went red "S'not funny."

"Sorry."

"Why'd ya hang up on 'er so quickly?" he asked, looking at his nose in the bathroom mirror.

"Because of the phone bill. It can get really costly even if you aren't on the phone for long."

I saw 2D chuckle, he might of remembered something.

"What's so funny?"

He turned to me, he had taken the tissues out, but his nose was still a little bloody "I rememba' one time when I left da phone of da hook for 'bout… A week. It costed us a lot 'nd I weren't allowed to use da phone for a monf'."

"I always prank call people. But, lately, everyone has bought those caller ID thingies that tell them where the person calls from."

I yawned. It was really late and I didn't want to sleep without 2D being around. I didn't know why, I just felt more comfortable. I encouraged 2D to let me sleep on the floor. After all, I didn't want him to sleep on the floor again.

Finally, I had started to doze off while sitting up, 2D crept in. I guess he expected me to be asleep.

"Sam? Why aren't ya sleepin'? It's real late."

I looked up at him and replied with great effort "Yeah I know. Perhaps… If you came sooner I would be sawing logs by now."

"Ya coulda gone to sleep wiv'out me." He sat beside me.

I hesitated "I didn't want to…" He put his arm around me.

"What's da matter?" he seemed to care so much "Ya scared?"

I felt insulted and stood up "No way! I'm fourteen for crying out loud! I ain't scared I just… Get lonely easily."

"I do as well." He glanced at his watch "Ya beta' be getting' to sleep."

"What are you? My dad?"

He smirked. I felt my insides melt. I really liked it when he did that. It was so cute!

"C'mon, I need to sleep as well."

I sighed and laid down on the floor. I pulled the blanket over me and reached over to turn the light off. When all the light faded and the dark engulfed my sight, I curled up in a ball. I did that a lot. It made me feel cozy.

I thought for a while. I did that a lot too. I'd think about the past and what I could of done better and I think about the near future. But never the far future because it hurt my head. As I slowly closed my eyes, I felt something tap my back. I rolled over. It was 2D's hand. His arm was dangling off the side of the bed. I poked it and it swung from side to side slowly. I sighed and closed my eyes.

My phone rung and created another disturbance. It's ring tone was 'Feel Good'. 2D opened one eye and looked at me. I didn't want to move, I felt like I couldn't be asked but I did anyway. It was a number I hadn't seen before. I least I thought it was since the numbers were all blurred from my tiredness.

"Hello?" I answered, weakly.

"Hey, I need help with my homework."

I paused. I realized it was my other friend, Kirstie. She was always asking for homework help "Why? It's the summer."

"Yeah, well you know I get extra stuff."

I sighed "Fine, what is it?"

"German."

I groaned "I thought you dropped that?"

"Nah, my teacher wouldn't let me."

"Who is it?" asked 2D, sitting up on his elbow.

"It's my friend, Kirstie, asking for help with homework. Just go back to sleep and don't worry about it."

"Hey! Who are you talking to?" Kirstie's annoying voice always went through me.

"Awright, if ya sure but don't be up too long, kay?" 2D said as he turned over on his side.

"I promise."

There was silence on the other end of the phone "Kirstie?"

"Who are you with? I heard a guy's voice! Tell me!" she was being her enthusiastic and crazy self.

"Oh, it's only a friend of mine."

I heard her insane laugh on the other line "Yeah right! He sounds like a guy from Crawley, I know you adore those kinda guys, what's his name?"

I moaned loudly. She could be a pain "His name is Stuart but he is called 2D."

"… You're kidding, right?"

"Nah. He'll say hello if you want."

I didn't hear her reply. I nudged 2D gently and called his name softly. He grunted "Kirstie wants to speak to you." I said, shoving the phone by his ear. He didn't even move.

"Hello?" Kirstie asked.

"Yeah, what." He rubbed his forehead, obviously feeling frustrated.

"Are you… 2D? As in, lead guy of Gorillaz?"

"No, I'm a bloody talking dog."

"Oh my God!" Kirstie squealed "Give me back to Sam!" 2D literally, threw the phone at me. He was stressed; I felt guilty and poked my head (I do that to punish myself. Once I nearly got my brain!).

"I so don't believe it but I know you totally dig him! Are you going out together? God! Come on answer!" My eyes widened and my stomach tightened. When I caught the phone from 2D's throw, the loudspeaker had turned on. I couldn't speak. I just kept thinking SHUT UP KIRSTIE! FOR PEEKS SAKE! FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING FLUFFY AND CUTE, SHUT THE F. UP!

It was too late, 2D was sure to have heard and Kirstie was still blabbering on.

"I know you fancy him, I can imagine you two going on a date and stuff. You have his pictures plastered all over your room in your apartment. And I've seen the state your computer is in! It is covered in his pictures. Come to think of it, I remember some poems you wrote when you were younger and that you wanted to send to him. They were-"

I managed to snap out of my paralysis and shut the loudspeaker off "Yeah, so about that German…"

I helped her with it. Trying to pretend she hadn't said that stuff. Eventually, she hung up. I put my hands to my face and fell back on my pillow. I pulled my face down (the thing people do when worried) and stared at the ceiling. That German had actually waked me up. Stupid Kirstie… Always ruining stuff. That thing made her a great friend. Truthfully, she was my best mate, not Hilary.

I fell asleep somehow but woke up again. I felt breathing behind me. I turned a little and saw 2D next to me, on the floor. Had he fallen off his bed? Whatever the reason, I realized his arms were around me. I was rigid.

I stayed still for almost an hour until he held me tighter. I felt so comfortable. I laid back and relaxed. I nodded off soon after that.

I always wanted 2D and me to be together… Anyway, I beg of you, PUH-HUL-EESE review! I'm on my hands and knees! Also, meet:

(-)

Bertie. He is an overly smart dinosaur with glasses. Named after a boy I like at school. He doesn't wear glasses and he isn't a dinosaur. He doesn't look like one either.

/\/\

-- Robo Bob. This was a robot version of Bob that Bertie invented. Genius, no?