Author's Note
I don't own SM or FMA. I wish I did though.
Okay, so yeah, let's set this straight cuz I think I'm confusing myself even. People call Bastian a broom, but he's really a mop. Okay, that's out, just wanted to be clear on that. Oh yeah, I semi-quote Fairly Oddparents… No, I don't own that eitherIf you don't get the joke don't worry about it. It's funny even if you don't know the show. Okay, thanks for all the reviews! Enjoy!
Playing Pretend
Chapter 6: The Break-In
"Hi there, I'm looking for Maes Hughes," Ed said, placing his hand on the desk as the man at the desk talking away fervently on the telephone. Al hid behind the door, waiting to see how his brother fared. For now, Ed was calm, trying to talk to the person behind the desk.
"She's so cute. You'd hardly even recognize her," the man laughed. "She's aged three weeks since you last saw her, and she says 'Da-da' like a natural! She's a genius I tell you!"
"Excuse me," Ed said, twitching at the thought of being ignored. "I'm talking to you."
"Can you believe that she looks so much like her mother? It's so adorable!" the man continued, now leaning back on the desk, jabbering into the phone. Ed finally snapped. His fist slammed the desk, as it cracked beneath his fist. Ed was right. Blondes are violent. Al sighed some from behind the door. "One second Roy. Can I help you?"
"Yeah," Ed said, scowling some as he tried to compose himself. "I need to speak with Maes Hughes."
"You're looking at him," the man replied, and then put a picture of a little blonde girl in Ed's face. "And this is my little baby, Alicia. She's so smart and cute and adorable!"
"Yeah, yeah, I heard all that already. I need the password to the archives."
"Oh really? I don't just give that out to anyone you know?"
"I bet it's Alicia," Ed grumbled.
"How did you kn—I mean, let me check with Roy and see if you're clear—yeah Roy, there's a kid here asking to get into the archives—yeah, that sounds right—you gave him permission? What's he got over YOUR head—oh, all right. I'll give him the password," the man, Maes Hughes, said with curiosity and disbelief. "The password is Alicia. Capital A-lowercase l-i-c-i-a. You cannot take any of those files out of the archives—however, you do have the right to take notes and take the notes out with you. Don't tell the password to anyone else, and last but not least, take this adorable picture of Alicia with you for proof that you have seen me. Have a good day, Fullmetal."
"Thanks," Ed said with a wave. He began to walk out the door, Al in tow, and down the hall, until it hit him. "How did that guy know my name? I never told him."
"Roy probably told him."
"Good point. Okay Al, we got the password. We'll go visit later today," Ed said, looking up, smiling. In his pocket was the cloth. "But right now, I think we owe a visit to Serena."
"What about teacher? Won't she be angry we're leaving again?" Al asked.
"We did today's lesson. She'll live if we skip study hall," Ed said, cringing some. "Besides, the faster we get out, the less likely she is to notice."
"Good point," Al whispered, shuddering, as the two quickly made their way out of the School of Alchemy. The walls that were built to keep them in touch with their natural skills waved a cold farewell as the two made their way to the magical part of the kingdom. To the part they had been shunned to so long ago. Death still poured into their souls. Ed shivered, the wind reminding him that this place had died and there was nothing he could do to soothe its pain. However, the winds died down some as he reached the block before Serena's home. Miraculously, this place seemed to be getting better. The grass was growing again, the trees were healthy, and the house near the end of the block was lit and welcoming. A blonde girl sat calmly on the porch, looking wistfully at the sky.
"Meatball Head!" Ed shouted. The blonde, Serena, looked up at him.
…
"You're going to break in?" Serena demanded. Artemis nodded.
"I have to find out about this. If the rumors are true, then you are going to have to rethink your choice in allies," he explained.
"No, just wait until I get the chance to talk to Ed again! I'm sure he'll let you come with him!" Serena exclaimed.
"I don't think that's a wise idea Serena," Luna said softly. Serena pouted some.
"Why can't you trust Ed?" she asked them. They both looked away. She sighed. "Listen, we have nothing to lose by asking him, do we?"
"But he'll know our intentions," Artemis complained.
"So? He doesn't know that you two can turn into cats. I assume that's how you were going to get in, right?" Serena asked. The Chesire looked at one another, and sighed. She had them there. Serena moved towards the door. "I'm going outside on the porch for a few minutes. Don't mind me, and go ahead and get yourselves something to eat. I went to the market this morning."
She found herself sitting outside, and looking to the sky.
"Have I ever been this bombarded with responsibility before? Man Mom, this sucks! Now I know what it was like to be you for all those years dealing with me!" Serena thought wistfully, chuckling inwardly. "I wonder how Ed and Al feel about living alone. They kinda forced themselves into the role when Trisha passed away."
"Meatball Head!"
The shout brought her out of her reverie, as she looked to her right to see Ed and the metallic Al walking down the path. Her heart leapt for joy. She thought that yesterday may have scared them away, but it seemed to have brought back her last living friends besides Winry. She was about to continue in this revelry, until she realized he had called her Meatball Head.
"EDWARD!" she shouted. "How dare you call me that!"
"I knew it'd get your attention. You seemed to be thinking pretty hard there," Ed replied as the two arrived at the home. Serena sighed, and looked back to the house.
"Ed, I got a question for you, and you can say no, you're allowed to," Serena said, twiddling her thumbs some. "I know it's not normal either. In fact, there's probably a rule somewhere that forbids it, but I still want to ask."
"What is it Serena?" Ed asked, looking at this girl with confused eyes.
"Artemis wants permission to go into the archives, and I was wondering if he could accompany you."
"One of your new guardians? Isn't it strange that they want in there? Aren't they mages?" Ed asked, giving Serena a look.
"Sort of," Serena muttered. "I didn't want to burden you. If you can't do it, then it's okay, I don't mind. I just didn't want him to break any rules to get in."
Ed wondered. How could that guy break in if Ed didn't help him?
"Well, the password to get in is easy enough," Ed thought, sighing. "What could it hurt?"
"Ed?" Serena asked, hopeful.
"As long as he stays hidden, he can come with us," Ed sighed.
"Brother! Are you sure we can do that?" Al asked him.
"Why not Al? We can't get any lower on the food chain here. Besides, I wonder what Artemis Chesire needs in the archives."
"Thank you so much Ed!" Serena cheered, giving him a giant hug. "Thank you!"
Serena noticed he was blushing some, as she let go. Her mind flooded with questions.
"Did he notice? Does he know that I'm Mimi?" Serena wondered. Al thought it very strange, as Serena dragged the two of them inside for tea.
…
"A cat?" Ed asked, seeing the white cat scowling at a broom with a floating newspaper in front of it (déjà vu, anyone?). "Didn't Winry get you two of them Serena?"
Serena chuckled, as she picked up the white cat.
"Now now, don't get mad at Bastian, kitty. It's not like he's shouting at you."
"But the broom was shouting," Ed replied. Al nodded fervently. Serena laughed. "And it was about today's date. What's the deal here?"
"Now Bastian, you're going to have to explain this to me properly after our guests leave. In the meantime, please go get some tea prepared," Serena scolded, as she held her head, and set the cat down as it ran out of the entryway. "Mom always said running the house was its own chore. Now I get it."
"Aw Serena, it can't be that bad," Al said reassuringly.
"That's the second time the two of them have fought in the past two days," Serena replied, as they heard the roar. "Is that—?"
"A Chimera?" Ed finished, as the three ran outside again. Serena squeaked. It was huge, and this time, it was a snake with a man's torso and head. Ed clapped his hands to bring out his blade, as Serena gave him a look.
"Don't kill them! That's another dead mage!" she scolded.
"I know, but I got to get his attention so you can cast your spell," Ed replied with a wink, as he ran headfirst towards the creature. It roared again, as it drove itself at Ed. Ed dodged flawlessly, but realized that Serena was the intended target, as she called into the house for Luna. "SERENA!"
She turned with horrorstruck eyes, as the snake-person drew closer and closer. Ed turned and tried to race back, even though he knew he wouldn't arrive in time. She screamed. He shouted. The snake roared. Luna arrived in the doorway and her eyes widened. And finally, Al shoved the snake-person twenty yards off track.
"You guys act like I'm not even here," Al said, looking at Serena, who sighed. "I want to know why they keep coming here, but for now I'll help Brother. Do your thing, Serena!"
"Thanks Al," Serena replied. Ed crashed.
"Al, you took long enough," Ed shouted to him.
"I had to get a running start," Al replied, shrugging, as the Elric brothers cornered the snake-person, away from Serena.
"Heavenly Moonlight, I call upon thee."
Ed noted that Serena now had the bell, and was chanting. Good, this thing would be fixed soon.
"Al, you guard Serena!" Ed said, starting to draw a quick circle. Al nodded as the snake-person charged again, only to be stopped by Al's fist.
"Restore this being to its true form."
"Why do magic spells and alchemic circles take so long?" Al wondered, knocking the snake down again, as Ed clapped his hands and struck the ground, producing what appeared to be a butterfly net. "WHAT GOOD WILL THAT DO?"
"I whiff something," Ed replied, as Serena finished.
"LUNA BELL MAGIC!"
The flash occurred as the Chimera became a lifeless snake. They looked to the empty space, and sighed.
"This one's a neighbor too," Serena whispered.
"They're bringing in the neighbors first," Ed muttered, as he unexpectedly swung the net, capturing a fairy in his grasp. "I knew I whiffed you."
The fairy, Jadeite, struggled futilely in the net.
…
Serena was awestruck. It was that fairy from the last Chimera.
"Did you create the Chimera?" Ed demanded, holding the fairy hostage. It laughed.
"Wouldn't you like to know, Shortstuff?" Jadeite said, as Serena gasped. If there was ever one thing she knew Ed was super sensitive about, it was his height. She didn't even joke about it.
"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME WEAKER AND SHORTER THAN YOU, YOU SMALL AND PATHETIC FAIRY!" Ed roared. Al took the net away from Ed.
"Excuse me, but why are you sending these creatures here?" Al asked kindly.
"And if it isn't the useless brother number two?" Jadeite laughed. Serena pre-empted the situation, and took the net away from Al.
"What do you want?" she asked, her voice cold and unforgiving.
"Oh, it's the Caspar Mage. You don't scare me."
"I shouldn't scare you. That's Beryl's job," Serena suddenly said with the perkiest face she could muster. The group crashed. Her voice went cold again. "You did just fail, didn't you?"
Jadeite quivered. Serena simply released him, grabbed Ed and Al by the arms, and dragged them back to the house skipping, with Luna in tow. She had many questions for the dark fairy, but at the moment, she was too tired and too hungry to deal with him. She'd get to talk to him again soon. As she entered the house Artemis had composed himself, and was human again, as she smiled.
"Why are they here?" he asked calmly.
"Well, they just gave you permission to tag along to the archives, as long as you stayed hidden," Serena replied. "Bastian! Is tea ready?"
"No milady! Ack! Acursed cups!" the mop called. Serena giggled. She turned to them, a grin on her face.
"How about tomorrow?" she asked, Ed and Al sighing. "In any case, Artemis will join you in a moment."
Ed couldn't believe it. The cat following them now seemed to be a perfect disguise for the man. He said he copied the look off of the pet, and Ed couldn't deny it; they looked remarkably similar.
"So why did Jadeite call her a Caspar Mage? Isn't she a Cleric Mage?" Ed asked the cat, as it jumped, and then shrugged. Ed knew it. Artemis was after something more than just a few files. "You don't like me, do you?"
Artemis looked away.
"It's because of this, isn't it?" Ed said, looking at his automail arm. "I made a mistake. I paid the price. It's equivalent exchange. Why can't people just accept that?"
Artemis looked up, confused.
"The books in the archives are supposed to hold relevant information about secretive events, such as the forbidden alchemy and homunculi attacks. I'm there for homunculi, but I can guess you want to research the history of the forbidden alchemy, which goes by another name I'm sure you've heard of. I regret learning the arts, but why not ask me? You know I know the answers you're looking for."
"Brother," Al said, catching Ed off guard as they looked to the door, guarded by a single man bearing the school's blue uniform. They approached the man, who gave them both a stern look.
"Password?" he grunted.
"Alicia," Ed said.
"Proof?" he grunted, as Al produced the picture for him. "Enter?"
"Tight security," Ed noted, as they entered the chamber, basically alone. They saw the cat poof back to the strange man, Artemis Chesire. "So you'll stay out of sight?"
Artemis nodded, and was gone. Ed and Al began to peruse the books, looking for anything about homunculi.
"Brother? How will we know what books to pull out?"
"Oh, look for the obvious ones written by our dad. Also pull out any books that have the words forbidden or restricted on them."
"That's all the books here Ed," Al said bluntly.
"Oh yeah," Ed said with a nervous chuckle. "Well, I guess we'll have to read them all."
Al sighed. His brother could be so stupid sometimes. Then again, he must have been distracted again. He began to take each book, and flip through a few pages, looking for anything with information on homunculi. With each glance, Al thought back to the old books that were at home. The ones the two were allowed to have—sorta. They were the ones that outlined the basics of what had become to be known throughout the land as the forbidden alchemy.
"Brother?" Al asked.
"No," Ed muttered, looking at a book and putting it away. Al sighed. He wasn't listening.
"Brother?"
"No."
"Brother?"
"No."
"Brother."
"No."
"BROTHER!" Al shouted.
"Yeah?" Ed asked, looking up as if he hadn't heard a word Al had said. Truth be told, he hadn't. He watched as his brother seemed to be fuming. "What's the matter Al?"
"What are we looking for?"
"I want to know how homunculi are made. If we find that, maybe we can find out more about the Philosopher's Stone."
Al looked back to the entrance to the archives. It was always about the Philosopher's Stone. Ever since brother had heard from some strange dream about that stone, he was always searching for it. It was rumored to even be able to defy the rule of equivalent exchange, which was either some mighty powerful alchemy, or some sort of magic.
"Brother, why do you think Mr. Artemis wanted to read up on alchemists who perform the forbidden alchemy?" Al asked. Ed stopped looking in the books, and looked down.
"Al, that's something that you know we're forbidden to talk openly about."
"Like homunculi?"
"Al?"
"Brother, I want to know. I can't remember anything from that day, except what memories you gave back to me! I want to know," Al replied. Ed looked down. He couldn't tell him. The words wouldn't even escape his throat. He needed help. Suddenly, a book plopped into his hands. He looked up to see if a fairy had given it to him, but no one was up there. He looked at the book itself. It was a cooking book, written by some man named Marcoh. Nothing too special. As he read the pages, however—his eyes lit up. The cooking book was a rouge!
"This is it Al," Ed said, holding the book up, spinning around. "Let's decipher it and find out the truth!"
"Brother, what are you talking about? That's a cookbook," Al inquired.
"A cookbook about alchemy!" Ed replied. "See, this is the start of the circle we drew, remember?"
"Oh yeah," Al said, now excited. "So what does it say?"
"Give me a moment and I'll paraphrase," Ed said, as he read through, and his face fell.
"Brother?"
"Al, I don't know if you want to hear this."
"You know I do! How else can we find the answers?" Al replied.
"Okay," Ed whimpered. "Homunculi are the result of the forbidden alchemy. They are alchemic creatures that are merciless killers."
"Does this mean that creature we saw?" Al pondered. Ed looked down.
"We have to be able to take this book out," Ed said. "It's too important to just take a few notes on."
"Why not just make a copy of the book and we'll return it later?" Al asked. Ed nodded.
"Good point," Ed said, using the ground as he quickly drew another transmutation circle, and produced a copy of the book with the first few pages he'd perused. "I'll put this one back and we'll come back soon to return it."
"How are you planning to get that out Brother?" Al asked, as Ed smirked. Al shivered. "You're scaring me. Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Pass me your head."
"What?" Al demanded, as Ed held out his hand. After a two-minute stare-down, Al relented and gave him the helmet, as Ed proceeded to stuff the book in its chin. "Hey Brother! Why there?"
"Because odds are that condescending bastard will make you open your midsection, and besides, he'd never think to look in your head."
Al took his head back, and quickly readjusted, as Artemis Chesire appeared from the shadows, book in hand.
"I knew you'd come with that face," Ed said, looking cocky as ever, as Artemis glared. He slammed the book in front of him, opened the page, and his hand pointed to a single paragraph. His eyes glared coldly at Ed and Al, and from his mouth, came a single, rigid word.
"Read."
Next Time…
Ed isn't the only one interested in Serena.
Chapter 7: The Visit