-Chapter 7-

Sting of the Scorpion

It was Friday evening in New York. After webbing up a group of thugs, Peter changed back into his street clothes and began heading home. As he went, however, his spider-sense went off. Stopping short, he looked to see an older, overweight man with blonde hair a distance behind him on the same street. After a block or two, he looked again, confirming the man was indeed following him.

"Picked up a tail, huh?" he muttered to himself. "Well, shouldn't be too easy to shake him."

Peter quickly ducked into an alleyway and climbed up the wall before the man could reach him. The man looked around for several moments before giving up and walking away. Peter waited a few minutes before looking around and seeing he was gone.

"Who was that guy?" he pondered before shrugging. "Eh, just some creep, most likely. I'll worry about it in the morning."

The next day, Peter showed the photos to Joe "Robbie" Robertson, editor of the Daily Bugle.

"Peter, these photos are amazing," he remarked. "In all my years as editor, I've never known a photographer as resourceful as you."

Peter smiled at that. "Thanks, Robbie."

"I don't know how you get these shots."

"Me neither."

They turned to see Jonah enter.

"You're always in just the right place at just the right time," Jonah went on. "What's your secret, Parker?"

"It's nothing major, Mr. Jameson," Peter said simply. "I just have a good telephoto lens, and a lot of experience at my school's photography club."

"Go ahead, keep your secrets," Jonah decided. "But I'll figure it out. Sooner or later."

"Uh, preferably later," Peter decided. "Much later."

Peter then slipped out of the office, letting out a breath. With that done, he went over to the coffee pot, snagging a cup of coffee as Eddie did the same.

"J.J. giving you a hard time again?" he asked.

"Who doesn't get a hard time from him?" Peter said flatly. "The guy creates more hostile work environments than John Kricfalusi (1). I bet he can't even stand himself. Though that'd make sense."

He and Eddie shared a laugh as Jonah exited Robbie's office and headed for his own. With that, Peter finished his coffee and excused himself to Eddie. As he walked to the elevator, he saw the same man tailing him from last night walk out and past him.

"Him again," he muttered. "What's he doing here?"

He watched as the man entered Jonah's office, his eyes narrowing.

-X-

In Jonah's office, the man stood before him, rubbing the back of his head.

"I dunno how the Parker kid gave me the slip," he remarked. "He must've spotted me or something."

"Gargan, you've got to be the most useless PI I've ever met," Jonah spat.

"Hey, I've been doin' my best, Mr. Jameson!" Gargan defended.

"Your best blows," Jonah sighed. "Parker must know Spider-Man. It's gotta be how he gets those photos. How hard could it be to follow him to Spider-Man's hideout?"

Unbeknownst to the two, outside the building, Spider-Man was perched just above the window, listening.

"So that's what old Chimney Lungs is up to." he muttered.

As Jonah gave Gargan his paycheck, they heard a voice.

"Is this a private party, or can any wall crawler join in?"

They turned to see Spider-Man on the ceiling.

"Why you-" Gargan tried to attack him, but Spider-Man cut him off by webbing him to the wall. With that, he turned to Jonah.

"And for the record, I barely know Peter Parker, and he sure as hell doesn't know where my hideout is. He's just some nobody geek from Queens who caught me after a fight with some thugs and made a deal to take photos of me."

"So you're just using my employees to get free press!" Jonah hissed.

"Believe me, I'm paying every time you open your mouth," Spider-Man shot back. "So read my webbed lips: get off my case."

Jonah went pale at hearing that, before scowling.

"Forget it, Spider-Man! I won't let it happen again!"

"Just what's your beef with me anyway, Jameson?"

"You really wanna know?!" Jonah pointed an accusing finger at the web-slinger. "You hide behind a mask, act above the law. I lost my wife Joan to a man just like that!"

Spider-Man took that in solemnly.

"Sorry for what happened to your wife," he said after a minute. "But a little word of advice: stop making your baggage other people's problems, stop taking it out on me, and deal with it in therapy. You hear me?"

"Yeah…" Jonah said solemnly. "I hear you."

"Wonderful. Till next time, kiddies!"

He hopped out the window, swinging away.

"Huh…" he muttered. "Guess there's more to jolly JJ than meets the eye."

-X-

Jonah took a look at his wedding photo, his fists clenching.

"It won't happen again…" he swore.

With that, he turned to Gargan, who was trying to tear free of the web.

"Damn spider-freak, making a monkey outta me…" he hissed. "I'll show him a thing or two."

"How'd you like the chance to do just that?" Jonah asked. "Make a real name for yourself?"

"As the man who took down Spider-Man? I'd kill for the chance."

"Well, it just so happens I have a trick up my sleeve that will get that web-slinging menace outta my hair for good," Jonah picked up the phone on his desk. "Get me Oscorp. I wanna talk to Norman Osborn."

Later, Jonah and Gargan were led into the genetics lab, where the Neogenic Recombinator sat, a man with brown hair and matching beard working on it.

"Lucky for you, Jonah, I've had my eye on Spider-Man for quite some time," Norman remarked. "And Professor Stillwell here has the solution to both our problems."

"Well, let's see it then," Jonah insisted.

Norman smiled, bringing up a green bodysuit, equipped with a seven-foot mechanical tail.

"First, the battlesuit. A Nomex survival suit. Originally intended for advanced military use, but even SHIELD found it too expensive, so it's been gathering dust here for a while."

"Well, considering what I paid for it, I'm not surprised." Jonah deadpanned.

"Relax, Jonah," Norman assured. "This will do just the trick to help us deal with Spider-Man."

As Gargan donned the suit and stepped into the Recombinator, Jonah turned to Norman.

"Why exactly do you insist on taking Spider-Man into Oscorp custody once Gargan's done with him?" he asked.

"Simple, really," Norman replied. "I want to study him. Find out what gave him his powers so we can prevent anything else like it from happening again."

"Fair enough," Jonah shrugged. "As long as Gargan takes him down, I could care less."

They joined Stillwell at the computers as he inserted some form of serum into the Recombinator's loadout. As it powered on and bombarded Gargan with its rays, Gargan gulped.

"Doc, what's going on? What's happening to me?"

"Easy," Stillwell assured. "It's just the radiation."

That gave Gargan a scare. "Ain't that stuff dangerous?"

"Not for someone with your limited intelligence," Stillwell deadpanned.

"You asked for this, Gargan," Jonah remarked. "Don't chicken out on us now."

"I'm not chickening out," Gargan retorted. "I just don't like being shot with radiation."

His body began to shift, becoming taller and more muscular to fill out the battlesuit.

"What's going on?" Jonah asked.

"Easy," Norman assured. "He'll be fine."

"The Neogenic Recombinator is restructuring Gargan's DNA to match that of a scorpion," Stillwell explained. "You asked for an answer to Spider-Man, so I chose to use a scorpion, the spider's natural predator."

He turned off the radiator, and Gargan stepped out, taller, more muscular, and more powerful than ever. Jonah grinned.

"Spider-Man will at last meet his match."

At Peter's lab, he was doing some routine maintenance on his web-shooters as he explained what happened at the Daily Bugle to Peni on the phone.

"So, let me get this straight," Peni began. "Jameson hired a private eye to track you in the hopes of finding Spider-Man, and in response, you busted into his office in costume to threaten him into backing off?"

"That's pretty much it," Peter confirmed.

Peni sighed. "Pete, he already thinks you're a public menace as it is. You do realize that busting into his office to antagonize him isn't gonna make his opinion of you any better, right?"

"Let's be honest, Peni," Peter said. "Nothing I say or do is ever gonna change that guy's mind. This was the only way I could divert his suspicions away from me. And for the record, I don't really give a rat's ass what he thinks of me. I'm not doing this for gratitude."

"Even so, you shouldn't stoop to his level. You're better than him. Act like it."

At that moment, the police radio crackled to life. Peter turned the dial, listening in.

"All units requested for a public disturbance in Times Square. Suspect described as a man in a scorpion-themed suit."

"That can't be good." Peter muttered.

"You better go."

Peter quickly suited up and hurried out.

In Times Square, Gargan was on what could only be termed a rampage. People were running in fear as he hurled things around, punched holes in walls, and overturned cars.

"C'mon, Spider-Man! I know you're out there! The longer it takes you to show up, the more stuff I break!"

As he smashed in a car's hood, he looked around.

"What's the matter? Chicken?!"

"Let me guess…"

Gargan was suddenly wrapped up in webbing.

"This is the part of the PSA where I call you a Turkey, right?"

As Spider-Man landed on a streetlamp, Gargan used the spike on his tail to rip free.

"So what's your story?" he asked. "Stung by a radioactive scorpion?"

"Wouldn't you like to know!"

Scorpion swung his tail at the lamp, knocking it over and forcing Spider-Man to leap off.

"Yeah, actually. That's why I asked."

The Scorpion aimed his tail at Peter, shooting a stream of acid that he narrowly managed to dodge.

"Don't hate me, Spider-Man. I just wanna melt your face!"

"Please don't. I'm on an acid-free diet."

As he dodged another acid shot, Spider-Man clung to the wall, seeing he had vanished. Spidey looked around before his spider-sense went off, and he looked up to see Scorpion crawling towards him. He threw a punch, Peter dodging and beginning to swing away.

"You ain't gettin' away that easy!"

He leapt from the wall at Spider-Man, who had just enough time to turn his head before Scorpion snapped the web-line like a toothpick. Spider-Man crashed onto another rooftop, where Scorpion leapt to confront him. Scorpion blasted some more acid at Spidey, but the web-head quickly dodged.

"Just who are you, anyway?" Peter demanded.

"A real hero, unlike you."

Spider-Man scoffed. "If you wanna join the Fantastic Four, you're in the wrong neighborhood."

Scorpion just swatted him with his tail. Peter went flying into a water tower, slamming into it back first. Cackling, Gargan advanced on him before shooting acid at him again. Spider-Man dodged, the acid hitting the water tower's support beams instead, eating through the legs. Peter saw the tower fall, but not in time to get out of the way as it toppled on top of him, bursting open and knocking him senseless.

"Yes!" Gargan laughed. "I beat Spider-Man! Taken out by the one and only Scorpion! Now, let's see who's under that mask."

He leaned down, preparing to yank off Spider-Man's mask when he suddenly recoiled, a wave of pain hitting his body. As he watched in the puddles left by the water tower's destruction, his upper torso swelled with muscle, his fingers started forming into claws, his skin turned green, and his eyes turned yellow as he grew a few feet.

"No... I've become a freak... a monster!" he scowled in rage. "Jameson, you slime... you tricked me!"

Spider-Man just groaned in pain, quickly zipping away as Scorpion let out a cry of agony. He stood up with a howl of rage.

"I'll kill you for this, Jameson!"

He stormed off, determined to get his revenge.

At the Bugle, Jonah was watching news coverage of Scorpion's fight with Spider-Man alongside Whitney, Eddie, and Robbie. Jonah's triumph at Spider-Man's defeat was soon replaced with horror as Gargan went on a rampage, smashing through the city with furious roars.

"Jesus Christ…" Jonah let out. "What have I done?"

All eyes were on him at that.

"You?" Robbie asked. "J.J., what are you talking about?"

"Robbie... I helped create that thing."

"You did what?!" Eddie screamed.

"I went to Oscorp, and paid them to make the Scorpion," Jonah confessed before shaking his head. "It wasn't supposed to be this way! He was supposed to be a counter to Spider-Man!"

"Is that the only reason?" Whitney questioned.

Jonah sighed. "Years ago, a crime boss warned me to back off a story, but I refused. They sent a masked hitman after me. He didn't get me, but he shot Joan, my wife. So I swore to keep this city safe from people who hide behind masks and think that they're above the law."

"So that's why you hate Spider-Man so much." Robbie realized.

"Yeah, quite a sad story you got there, J.J.," Eddie scowled in a rage as he pointed at the image of the Scorpion on TV. "Except that's exactly what the thing you helped create is doing right now, you fucking IDIOT! This is all on your head!"

Jonah whirled on him, scowling.

"How was I supposed to know this would happen?!" he demanded. "It's not my fault Osborn was so hungry for my money that he didn't take proper precautions!"

"Doesn't matter, Jonah. You paid for this Scorpion to be made in the first place," Eddie scoffed. "How ironic. To protect the city against a possible menace, you made an actual one."

Before long, Jonah's anger subsided, and he collapsed in his chair.

"You're right, Brock…" he admitted. "I've made a horrible mistake…"

Jonah made his way to Oscorp, heading for the genetics lab. He stopped short at the sight of Curt Connors in the middle of a heated argument with Stillwell and Norman.

"I warned you, Farley!" Dr. Connors shouted. "I told you both again and again that Neogenics was too dangerous and experimental to use on a human being! But you didn't listen! Well, look at where we are now!"

"You were right," Stillwell sighed. "I just... I never imagined it would turn out this badly."

"Well, maybe you should have!" Jonah snapped, getting their attention. "Gargan's going berserk!"

"Like you were picking daisies, Jameson!" Norman shot back. "You footed the bill to turn him into that thing in the first place! 'Spare no expense.' Those were your exact words!"

"Enough!" Connors cut in. "Pointing fingers and deflecting blame isn't going to fix this mess."

All of a sudden, the wall busted open, allowing the Scorpion to break through. He advanced toward them before grabbing Stillwell by the collar.

"Look what's happening!" he roared. "Fix me! Turn me back the way I was!"

"I… I can't!" Stillwell managed. "The process is regenerating exponentially, like a nuclear chain reaction! It's too far out of control!"

Gargan winced in pain before tossing Stillwell aside and turning on Jonah.

"You did this to me!" he shouted. "Turned me into a monster so I could do your dirty work and kill Spider-Man! You ruined my life, Jameson! Now I'm gonna put an end to yours!"

Jonah turned to run, but didn't get far before he was wrapped up in the Scorpion's tail, Gargan retreating with his hostage.

Later, Peni was treating Peter's wounds as they watched the news report, NYPD helicopters chasing Scorpion as he fled with Jameson in his tail.

"Damn it…" Peter cursed. "I gotta go after them."

"At the risk of sounding like a bitch... why?" Peni asked.

Peter turned to her, surprised.

"Look, I know that sounds cruel, especially coming from me," Peni admitted. "It was one thing when Jameson was just trash-talking you, Pete. But it's a whole other thing when he helps make a Neogenic mutant specifically to kill you. If we let the Scorpion tear him to shreds, it'd serve him right."

"Peni, I don't pick and choose who I save," Peter insisted. "The last time I didn't intervene in a crime when I could have made a difference, Uncle Ben was shot and killed in his own home. It's not about appreciation. It's about responsibility."

Peni took that in, nodding.

"Like you said before, I'm better than him. It's time I acted like it."

"Then you better get back out there." Peni decided.

Meanwhile, Gargan was heading for Oscorp's nuclear plant, Jonah still in his clutches.

"Radiation made me what I am now," Scorpion mused. "So I'm gonna use it to change me back into who I was. All I gotta do is punch a hole in the reactor, and I can get at it."

"Are you insane?!" Jonah screamed. "You'll unleash radiation on the whole city! Turn New York into the new Chernobyl!"

Scorpion just dropped him.

"I missed the part where that's my problem."

"It's right here!"

Scorpion turned to see Spider-Man kicking him in the face.

"A nuclear reactor…" Spidey sighed. "Why don't villains ever pick bakeries to invade?"

Scorpion jumped to his feet.

"Why do you even care about Jameson?!" he demanded. "He's turned half the city against you! He made me specifically to kill you!"

"For the record, I don't like him, or particularly care about him," Spider-Man clarified. "That doesn't mean someone I don't like deserves to get killed."

"Actually, it kinda does."

"Not to me!"

Spider-Man leapt forward and tackled Scorpion. They grappled, punching and kicking.

"Obviously, your mutation affected more than your body, Scorpion!" Spider-Man shouted. "You crack open that reactor, you'll blow up the entire city!"

"Who cares, as long as I get what I'm after?!"

He swung his tail, whipping Spider-Man's fist. He recoiled, clutching his battered hand.

"Ow!" Spidey yelped. "What are you made of, adamantium?"

Scorpion grabbed him in a bear hug, beginning to squeeze the life out of him.

"Affectionate... aren't ya!" Spider-Man managed before headbutting him.

Gargan recoiled before tossing him aside. He was about to spray him with acid when the unthinkable happened: Jonah charged in, ramming him with his shoulder and causing the shot to go wide.

"Seriously?" Scorpion demanded. "You wanted Spider-Man dead, and now you're risking your puny life for his? Why?"

"Because you're a greater evil!" Jonah shot back. "And as much as I hate to admit it, he's the only one who can stop you!"

Spider-Man perked in surprise.

"Hold the phone…" he let out. "Did I hear that right? J. Jonah Jameson's on my side?"

Scorpion readied his tail to strike Jameson, but Spidey webbed it before he could.

"Yeah, go ahead and use the radiation to turn back!" Jonah declared. "You'll go back to being a pathetic nobody like you were before!"

Scorpion tore his tail free, grabbing Jonah by the collar.

"Stop calling me names!" he shouted. "People have been makin' fun of me my whole damn life, and I ain't gonna take it anymore!"

Seeing this reaction, along with an electrical outlet nearby, Spider-Man got an idea. He threw a rock at his head to get his attention.

"You don't like names, huh? Well that's too bad, frogface! 'Cause to me, you're nothing but a two bit, no account, second rate, sewer-breathed baboon with the brain of a pigeon and the face of an eel!"

Scorpion let out a roar, dropping Jonah before swinging a punch at him, prompting Spidey to leap out of the way before he hit the outlet. The electricity coursed through his body, eliciting a scream of pain before he dropped to the ground. Spider-Man immediately webbed him up.

"I knew I should have never left Brooklyn…" he grumbled before passing out.

With that, Spider-Man turned to Jonah.

"Thanks for the help, J.J.," he said. "So... I take it it's too much to hope for that things'll be different between us from now on?"

Jonah hesitated before scoffing.

"You wish," he retorted. "This doesn't change a thing, Spider-Man. I still won't rest until you've been unmasked... and eliminated."

Spider-Man shrugged.

"Eh, it was worth a shot. And I won't rest until you've shaved that stupid Hitler mustache, so we're even. But either way, thanks for saving my life."

With that, he swung off into the city. Jonah scowled, turning away indignantly. Once he was certain Spider-Man was gone, however, he gave a small, secret smile.

The next day, Jonah nearly swallowed his cigar as he saw the next Daily Bugle paper, which revealed the Scorpion's defeat, as well as Jonah's role in his creation. He slammed the paper down, glaring at Eddie.

"You sold me out on my own paper?!" he demanded.

"I printed the truth," Eddie said simply. "You crossed a line, J.J. Besides, that's your number-one rule: don't color the truth and leave out facts."

"What I did was done-"

"With the best intentions, I know. But some of the worst things imaginable have been done with the best intentions. That's what the road to Hell is paved with."

After a few tense moments, Jonah sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"Under normal circumstances, I'd fire you," he remarked. "But you're right. I crossed a line, this is the result. Now I need to deal with the consequences."

"Start by finding a good lawyer. I suggest Matt Murdock. And next time you think of creating a mutant or monster to take down Spider-Man, maybe just don't."

With that, he walked away, leaving Jonah to reflect on his actions. After a minute, he sighed, picking up his phone and dialing a number.

"Hello, this is J. Jonah Jameson. Is this Nelson and Murdock?"

Author's Note:

(1): The creator of Ren and Stimpy, yes. From all the stories I heard, working for him was a nightmare. Things got so bad at his company that one of his workers would invite staff members into his office to vent by kicking the wall; said wall had a sign over it reading "John's Knees". By the time Nickelodeon fired him, it was a giant hole.

There we have it. And yes, I decided on this; Jonah does face some actual legal consequences for everything the Scorpion did. He'll think twice before pulling anything like that again. As for how he was able to contact Oscorp to arrange this, it's simple: taking from the 90s cartoon, he's a shareholder and board member of the company, though a journalist first and foremost.

Please R&R. Until next time!