Mara Jade and internal battles. Posted on TF.N on 12 Dec 04.
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Seen from afar, the planet is drab: a mute brown broken only by the dirty green of polluted oceans and the black of monstrous, sprawling cities. No food comes from this place, no art, no tools, no hope. Only people, an endless underclass that is fodder for all the soulless companies that promise them a way off-world – in exchange for the rest of their lives.
The overpopulated Core Worlds were depleted long ago. Now they are cemeteries whose inhabitants do not realize they are dead.
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She set foot on the planet a year to the day after Luke had asked for her hand in marriage. He was still waiting. There are positive reasons for a long engagement.
She has never been here before. This world strikes no chords with her, no memories of before. She sees how the odd orange light from the dying sun and the ever-present brown dust create a haze that hurts the eyes and confuses the mind.
She is searching for something.
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She lets herself fall into disrepair. Meditating in an alleyway qualifies for self-neglect – at least, Luke would see it that way. She tries not to think about Luke, though, because she's doing this for him. She thinks, though, of the Emperor, and of her devotion to him, and of Vader, and her hatred for him. And the complete irrationality of each, for they treated her exactly the same.
Finally, she finds the object of her search.
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She runs for the man in the mask, but he is too fast and leaves her behind, in the dust of her prison. She know this is the one chance she will have of getting away from the dust that coats her tongue and eyes, preventing her from ever taking a deep breath without coughing. But she has lost this one chance with the black man's disappearance.
From the swirling dust emerges a woman. Her hair shines the read of fresh blood, and her half-closed eyes gleam black. She knows, instinctively, that the woman is a demon – she wants her to die in this place. She is one of those who curse people into staying in the same place, caught in a prison so small they cannot move.
On this world, people who take you away are gods among men.
The demon speaks, finally, her teeth white against the red of her lips. She tells the girl that she's better off here, that her life would be ruined by him, that she would rather die in the dust than live in servitude to him.
The girl listens, and realizes that the demon only wishes to keep her from a better life, away from the dust and dim orange light. The demon may try to convince her the dust is the better of two, but she knows better. Anything is better than the dust. So she reaches out for the sense and ipushes/i.
The demon's face twists, and it screams, agony amplified into sound. Its eyes open wide, and the girl sees for the first time that they are not black, but dark green. She keeps pushing, ignoring the screams and spasms, until the demon squirms away into the dust.
She waits, then, for the masked man to come for her. He has no choice but to do so – not after she dispelled a demon using the power he wants.
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The Emperor gives her a new name, and because she loves him, she accepts it. She doesn't know until later what her name foretells, and by then, she doesn't care. She considers the name to be a baptism of sorts, of her new life, and she tries to forget the old, only concentrating on serving her master.
The girl…disappears, and Mara Jade takes her place.
He finds her in a room in the slums. He takes her home, and cares for her, and when she awakens, asks only if she wants water. They marry a spare week later, a hurried ceremony with only a dozen people in attendance.
They never speak of it.
She knew, then chose to forget; remembered, then forgot again. But for the short time she remembered, she remembered this:
Mara Jade was defeated by a girl; in turn, that girl became Mara Jade.