Chapter two: Sagashi-tsuzukeru
Mou zuibun to tachitsukushite mita kedo, tabun kotae wa nai no darou...
I never knew his name. But now I realize that perhaps he didn't have one. One that could be morally accepted, I mean.
I recall one sunset, after a particularly frustrating session of training. If it could be called so. I was leaning my palms on my knees, trying to regain my breath, almost standing on a pool of my own sweat, while he was as fresh as a cucumber, without much more than a hair out of place. Enough said.
Narrowing my eyes I regained my posture, staring off at him, as his own too gold eyes drifted to the twilight. I sighed. "We're not getting anywhere."
He cocked an eyebrow, and his lips lifted into a faint smile. "Wrong. You're not getting anywhere."
"What do you mean?" I asked, annoyed at his arrogance.
"The answer." he stated simply, diverting his gaze from the view, to stare into my eyes, probing me. "have you found it?". He wasn't smiling.
"You know very well I haven't."
He shrunk his shoulders, as if to say that he was insensitive towards the overflowing tension between us. He didn't speak again.
"I don't know your name."
He lifted upwards the ends of his lips, once more. "You don't need to. Things are fine the way they are, and you shouldn't try to change them. Or..." after threatening to do so for a while, he grinned. "Do you want to?"
I remember closing my eyes and staying silent.
And asking Sensei about him the following day.
She said something about a grave in the furthest point of the garden. I shivered. Because she said, dryly, clearly, that she didn't have a son...
Who was alive.
But back then, I still kept searching for the answer... Even if bit by bit I was starting to realize, that just like a journey to the end of the world, the search for the answer would take me more than a lifetime.
Mou zuibun to tachitsukushite mita kedo, tabun kotae wa nai no darou...
(I've already tried to keep standing many times, but that's probably not the answer, right?)
(From the song 'Melissa')
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