Chappie 19

I sat in Murdoc's Winnebago reading one of my magazines. 2D had a big headache and I decide it would be best to leave him alone in his room and to stay with Murdoc for a while.

I found a very nice picture of Lee Ryan holding an adorable puppy. I loved Lee and I loved puppies "Murdoc?" I called to him.

"Yeah?" He answered from his bathroom probably taking more pills or whatever.

"Where'd you keep your scissors?"

Murdoc poked his head around the corner "For what?" I held up the picture and he sighed "I'll get 'em."

"Arigatou."

"Whatever…" I heard him grumble. He shuffled around the bathroom cupboards. Suddenly he yelped in shock. I sprung up and peered in to see what the matter was.

"Murdoc?" I saw him on his back on the floor. His expression turned from shock to anger. I looked back into the bathroom and saw, poking his cute face out of the toilet bowl, Rover.

"Thought I'd pop in to say hi." He said casually as he hopped out and shook toilet water all over Murdoc. He stood and pointed a finger at his snout.

"Ya liddle bugga! What are ya doin' in me toilet?"

Rover tilted his head slightly "Didn't you know? Zombies like myself or of any kind are quite accustomed to lavatory facilities."

I giggled "You still drink out of it?"

"Why yes of course." He burped and green coloured bubbles floated up. He shook his head "Oh, dreadful habit."

"Get out!" Murdoc shouted at my poor dead dog.

"Alright, I can take a hint old chap." Murdoc's left eyelid twitched at Rover's emphasis of 'old'. As he left, I quietly closed the door behind him and crawled back to my magazine. I knew Rover would be trouble.

"Hey!" I pointed an accusing finger at Murdoc "That's 2D's phone!" It had gone missing earlier and 2D was dumbstruck as to who took it. I, on the other hand, had my prime suspect and I had found the evidence!

"Phone?" Murdoc smiled innocently "I 'ave no idea whatcha goin' on 'bout!"

I reached down and pulled an empty packet of Prawn Cocktail crisps off the floor "What's that then?" I picked the phone up and examined it. It looked O.K.

"I didn't take it!"

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

I shook my head knowing it would turn into one of those "Yes No" conversations "Look," I sighed "I'm going to take this back to 2D and you will apologize to him right now!"

"But I-" he began. I stomped my foot down making the Winnebago tilt to one side briefly.

"Now!" I repeated. He grumbled as I made him march up to 2D's door. I knocked on it.

2D answered looking much better then before. He had a cute smile on his face. It soon changed to panic as he saw Murdoc and began to scuttle back "Uh, Muds? Ya not gonna 'urt me are ya?" He was shaking slightly.

Murdoc didn't reply. 2D glimpsed me behind him and sighed in relief. He came back over "Wassup?" he said more calm that I was there.

"Um…" I began "Murdoc has something to say to you."

"'e always does. 'nd it's oft'n rude." I shoved Murdoc forward and handed 2D his phone. I thought he was about to jump to Jupiter!

"Aw yeah!" he rejoiced "Me phone! Me baby!" he started skipping around.

"2D." I tried calming him. He kept prancing around like an idiot "2D"…. "2D!" I shouted this time. He turned, a little startled. I poked Murdoc hard in the back, he flinched.

"Uh…" He scratched his neck and hesitating "'bout yer phone, there, mate. M'sorry."

I was taken back. That was easy! 2D's eyebrows slanted in suspicion "Whatcha do te it?"

Muds didn't reply. 2D opened it up and switched it on. He slapped a hand onto his head gaped at his phone "Aw shit!" he yelled.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned for 2D's cussing.

"Me… Me phone! I-It's filled with… PORNO!"

Murdoc laughed loudly. I whacked him across his head hard. He grunted but broke out into even more laughter.

"All me files? 'vere all gawn! I 'ad so much stuff on 'ere!"

Appalled by 2D's use of grammar and Murdoc's stupid phone fiddling, I shoved him out and grabbed 2D's phone. I started pressing loads of buttons trying to fix it. 2D curled up and the floor whining like a little baby, which was usual for him. I continued for ten whole minutes not a break and finally, got it back to normal.

"Done." I said happily. 2D sprung up and snatched the phone from me.

"Aw, f'anks so much Sam!" He started prancing around like a brain dead monkey again. I smiled. 2D was happy and… Remotely healthy again.

I smiled but heard as sound coming from 2D's bathroom. I walked past 2D who was still galumphing around like an idiot and into the bathroom. I pushed the door slightly and saw Rover with his head stuck down the toilet, wagging his tail. I heard him lapping up the toilet water. I nearly gagged.

"Rover!" I shouted. He turned quickly looking at me innocently then quickly whipping the lid shut. He grinned toothily, water dripping from his jaws. I folded my arms "Out!" His ears drooped and he grumbled what seemed like curses under his breath.

"Aw, 'ello Rover!" 2D greeted him. The dog piped up and smiled as 2D patted his head.

"2D, he was drinking out of your toilet." I said.

2D raised his eyebrow at me "So?"

My mouth fell open. He reached out and closed it. I shook his hand away "What?"

"Well," he started on his knees rubbing what was left of Rover's stomach "Really, I'd be against it ya know? Wiv' all da germs 'nd stuff but 'ven I figured, 'e's dead awready, ain't 'e?"

I groaned unable to think of a comeback to counter 2D's logic. Woah! 2D's logic? That's maybe a first! He was right, old Rover was dead so he couldn't get infected in anyway.

I walked out hopping to find a place, which was dark and completely quiet. I went to Greg's room. He was a quiet fish, the occasional bubble blow I admitted but he was nice company. The hallway to his room smelled clean as usual with its pastel white walls, not as yellow as the rest of Kong.

I slumped against a wall, far away from the fish-gut bucket definitely. Greg seemed to wave a small fin at me. I smiled back at him. I loved his little huge-toothed grin, so cute! In the corner, I clenched my knees to my chest and thought about stuff. I was often under-stress and this helped calm me down.

Alas, my "meditation" was interrupted unsurprisingly, by frantic screaming. It sounded like Noodle. I got up quickly and ran out. I glanced Greg giving me an apprehensive look. I entered the main corridors and saw Noodle come running down them.

"Sam!" she panted "Rover! He…" she couldn't finish. Behind her my deceased dog came trotting along happily, eyes closed. In his jaws, he mauled what looked like a pokemon figure. He kept trotting by. As he crossed paths with me, his eyes flicked up at me mischievously and he smiled cruelly. The pokemon figure was one of Mew, so I could see why Noodle was upset.

As I watched him trot away around a corner Noodle grabbed my arm.

"You! Get rid of him! He eaten all my pokemon collection!" she hissed at me. She then reached into her shirt pocket and pulled out the head of a chewed Rukario figure. Glaring at me she stomped off.

Great, Murdoc and Noodle hated Rover… Who next? 2D seemed to be O.K. with him, hopefully Russel would be too. After all, he was the one who let me keep him! I growled at myself, I knew I couldn't put the blame on someone else. Even though I didn't know how, this was my fault.

"ARGH!" that was definitely Murdoc's cry. I sighed and ran to where it came from.

I arrived and slapped my forehead. Old Rover had done it again!

"SAM! YOU'RE F. DOG PISSED ALL OVER MY WINNEBAGO!" He roared pointing at it. Cortez sat atop it squawking at me madly "AND THAT BASTARD TRIED MAKIN' A FREAKIN' MEAL OUTTA CORTEZ!"

"Ok," I said calmly putting my hand on his shoulder despite the fact he didn't like being touched "I know he is being awkward but please, I'll sort him out and plus, he's not staying for long."

Still, Murdoc's eyes bulged with rage. He had every right to be angry. Rover never did this in his days! Was it the newfound zombie gene all zombies got that made them all cocky?

I yanked him up by a collar I had put on him earlier and threw him onto the bed.

"Why the hell are you being so difficult?" I yelled at him.

Rover looked around anxiously, twiddling his tail with his forepaws.

"You were never this bad when you were alive!" my expression changed from angry to stressed-out "Please, tell me." Another thought came to my mind "And tell me why you want to stay a while anyway."

His eyes remained fixated to the floor "Well, don't you want to see me again?"

"Yes, of course. And I know about that whole restless spirit thing but, c'mon, seriously man, is it really necessary to be such a git?"

He sighed and looked me in the eyes "It's… A zombie thing."

I moaned "God! A zombie thing? Is that the best you can come up with? More like behavioral problems to me!"

"Maybe you're right."

I despised being angry with him like this and had to hug him "Look, just try and be less of a jerk, ok?"

"Alright." He scratched his ear with his back paw making his earrings jingle.

Next hour, however, he'd already got into trouble. I was playing zombie games with 2D when someone knocked so hard on his door it nearly collapsed. We both looked around. Russel stomped in, nostrils flaring. There was a sudden munch sound from the TV.

2D turned around "Aw man!" he groaned as his head was bitten off by a zombie. I didn't turn around because I knew Rover had done something.

Russel raised his arm from his back "Is THIS yours?" he murmured venomously pointing to the thing hanging from his arm. Sure enough, it was my dog. His teeth sunk deep into Russel's flesh. His tail wagging away, smiling.

"Rover!" I scolded "Drop it!" His ears drooped, his smile faded and his tail fell limp. I grabbed his collar and yanked him off.

"OW!" Russel shouted, holding his bleeding arm "We are getting rid of that thing!" Russel pointed hard at my dog's face. Rover dismissed it, extending his tongue across his face, licking it clean of blood.

He turned back around and said in his gruff, posh voice "Sorry, old boy." He didn't mean any of it.

I hadn't heard Russel's words. But, just for my well-being, he repeated them with more venom and anger dripping off each one then a bag of irritated rattlesnakes of the same sex!

"WE ARE GETTING RID OF HIM!"

Ro-ro go-go? No-no! WA! Ok review, and for those of you that the link I provided previously didn't work for, tough shit! lol