Chapter 9

The second Rick had Madison settled in a cab and on her way, his phone was in his hand and his fingers were typing a text message to Kate. The hour was late for it, probably too late, but he didn't have time to play with, not that he had faith in anyway, because though Madison had agreed he'd be the one to share the news of their incompatibility with Kate, his confidence in her managing to stay quiet, given the night's events, was shaky at best, and he was so looking forward to being able to have himself a bit of fun.

"I know it's late. Sorry but I couldn't wait," the message began. "Brunch tomorrow, my place, as a thank- you and so I can give you your check. Definitely sleeping in, so come at 11 a.m." He signed off with his address and a "Hope you had an amazing date tonight, too," that was in equal part a playful taunt and a sentiment he couldn't have been less sincere about.

At the other end, Kate's eyes shifted from the old movie playing on her laptop to her phone when it lit up beside her on the bed. She'd been home all night, opting for dinner delivered and "Dial M for Murder," and she certainly didn't expect to read what she read, nor experience the sort of acute wrench in her heart that Rick's words triggered.

No matter how long she stared at it, she couldn't make sense of the "too". It didn't belong. Like those it represented, it didn't fit, yet there it was, blinding and deafening, paralyzing in its nonchalance. And so, in its wake she couldn't bring herself to compose a response, and both would have to wait until morning to know what would come next.

xxxx

Following a night of much thought and little sleep, Kate knew what she had to do. She had to go. For her friend-for her friend's happiness-she had to take the shot of cold water to the face and shake off whatever it was that'd gotten hold of her, but the decision to do so was a difficult one. Even as she stood at the concierge desk in the lobby of Rick's building that morning waiting to be confirmed as an expected visitor, she wondered if she was prepared to put on the happy face seeing him in his happiness would require of her.

She wasn't, and the rush of nerves that washed over her hearing "You can take the elevator to Penthouse 1 now, ma'am. Mr. Castle is expecting you" proved it. There was no turning back.

At his door she closed her eyes and attempted to summon a familiar numbness, one she'd relied on in the past, knowing she'd need it to help lead her through whatever emotional maze awaited her on the other side. Without its hand to cling to, the price she imagined her willful heart was about to pay for what her head had done in the name of its protection would be too high.

Unfortunately, though, like most others, its armor wasn't impenetrable.

Fresh from a shower, Rick answered Kate's second go at the buzzer. His hair was still wet, the aroma of his soap potent, and dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt he looked comfortable enough to curl up in.

"It's really you. The woman of the hour." He welcomed her inside with a smile. "I'm glad you came, especially with the short notice."

Kate's eyes immediately began to scan the loft, darting from place to place, to every corner within their sight.

"She's not here, don't worry." The voice was nearer than she was braced for, a whisper behind her left shoulder. "She had somewhere to be this morning, so it'll just be two for brunch."

It might as well have been the only word he said, because like an echo in the deepest canyon, all Kate heard was "she"over and over, and all she saw was her friend Madison's face aglow with the blush of newfound love.

"Lucky for us," he went on, motioning toward the kitchen, "it survived her recent baking attack relatively unscathed, so I was able to prepare us a fine feast for the fine occasion. I hope you're hungry."

It hit her then, after a handful of seconds, the folly that was the lump of apprehension in her throat, and the realization brought with it embarrassment, yes, but also relief, as well as new confusion.

It was his mother he was talking about. She was his mother.

But somewhere in all of it there was still Madison.

"I appreciate that you cooked and everything, Rick, and your kitchen's a nice kitchen, but I'm not really sure why I had to come over here. You could've just mailed the check to my office."

Rick slid out one of the chairs at the bar for her. "Sit, please. Mimosa? Coffee? Both? We'll have both," he answered for her when she hesitated. "Mailing it seemed too impersonal, considering the very personal thing you did for me to earn it. Plus,"-from the kitchen, he presented her with a mug and a flute-"I wanted to see you, make sure you were okay after you took off so abruptly the other night."

Kate closed her hands around the mug, so there was something for them to do.

"I don't need to be checked up on. I'm fine." It was a lie she told because she still couldn't wrap any meaningful words around it, about what she'd so foolishly done on the night in question.

"Again, I'm glad, and if you ask me," he added, "you look much more than fine. Don't get me wrong, the suit was great. I was a big fan of the suit, but this weekend, casual thing is really great." Like him, she was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, her top white and accented with a scarf. "This is…I made eggs. Do you like eggs?"

The whiplash from his zag left her able only to nod in response.

"So, you said before this was an occasion," she eventually came out with, thanks to a couple of sips of champagne, and she could feel her muscles contract around the legs of her chair as if readying for impact. "What did you mean?"

"I did say that," Rick beamed, handing over a plate of eggs to accompany the bowl of fruit and tray of pastries already within her reach. "I had quite the special night last night, and it was all because of you." Rather than come around, he remained where he stood and began to eat from there. "When my gorgeous, funny, and incredibly sexy date showed up late-showed up very late-I was worried about how it would end up going, but things definitely turned around. Way around."

Of course, she was late. Of course. That was Kate's initial thought, only because it was the simplest part of it to process, that part of it that didn't sting.

"We rocked out to The Boss. We laughed a lot. We enjoyed a nice dinner and dessert. I learned a thing or two about her. She learned a thing or two about me. As far as first dates go, it was pretty near perfect."

"That's great," Kate said stabbing at her eggs, a dead giveaway that it was anything but.

"It was, and you know what made it particularly great, I mean my most favorite part, was when I learned from my gorgeous, funny, and incredibly sexy date that apparently I'm not even in the ballpark of the kind of guy she's looking for." Kate's head popped up, her mouth mid-chew. "Not only that fascinating little tidbit, but also that you would've known that, since you've known her since high school."

Kate had asked one damn thing of Madison. Obviously, that'd been one damn thing too many, but in that moment, she couldn't dwell on the mess that was her friend because she had to deal with the mess her friend had left behind, and by the smug expression on Rick's face, the dealing wasn't going to be quick or easy.

Like a conductor with a baton controlling the tempo of an orchestra, he waved his fork merrily across the air between bites to music only he could hear. She, on the other hand, could hear nothing but the sound of things crashing down all around her, first and foremost her dignity as a professional.

"It's not what you think," she tried to insist as though he might believe it.

Rick set his plate on the counter, and as nights before leaned in closer. "Talk about learning things. I had no idea you were a matchmaker and a mind reader. I guess I'm going to owe you an apology, too." He shut his eyes and a grin appeared. "A bunch of apologies, actually."

Kate inched as far back in her chair as it would allow, which wasn't far enough.

"I tried to do this. I did. I wanted there to be someone I could send you away with because you annoy me and you frustrate me more than anyone I've ever met, but there wasn't, and I didn't want you to keep bringing me scones, and I didn't want to tell you I'd failed, so there was Madison. She's a good person, and yes, she may be a friend-one that I will strangle later-but I just thought the restaurants were something, at least, and maybe there'd be a spark."

When Kate finally came up for air, he was already on his way toward her, and he meant every step.

From behind, he pulled her chair away from the bar, enough so he was able to move into the space between it and her knees, but only that much.

Then it was his turn.

"There was no spark. Would you like to know how little spark there was? If she'd been a warehouse filled with fireworks and I'd been a lit match, there wouldn't have been even a hint of smoke. She didn't want me. I didn't and don't want anyone but you. You knew both of those things, and I annoy you and frustrate you because when I tell you I want you you feel it, and for whatever reason you'd rather fight it than do that."

"What I'd rather," she began in a frosty tone, "is to stop having to remind you that you don't know what I feel."

"What was his name? Your date last night. Did you have fun?"

He'd done it before, asked her something so seemingly contrary to her assertion that all they were was strangers to one another that it'd shaken her, and there Kate was again wondering how.

She said nothing because what could she say. There was no name. There was no date, no fun to be had.

"Are you not answering me because it's none of my business or because there is no business?"

The look she gave him.

"You're so obnoxious," she said and tried to push off the chair, but his legs had hers pinned. "Do you want to move so I can get up?"

"Do you want to kiss me again?"

"You can't possibly be serious." Kate folded her arms across her chest, almost cartoonishly defensive. "No, I don't, but of course you'd think that."

Rick mimicked her posture, feigned affront. "I believe we've already taken that ride. I assured you I'm often serious; and look who's presuming to know whom now. You can go ahead and point that accusing finger at yourself, Ms. Beckett. Come to think of it, since we're on the subject, why'd you kiss me the first time if I'm so obnoxious and frustrating and annoying, was it? It's not like your lips accidently tripped into mine. That's happened to me. I know the difference."

Kate's mouth twisted in wait as her brain frantically searched for a worthy retort to send its way. It never came.

"It was a mistake, okay? That's all. We don't need to have some huge discussion about it, and it's never going to happen again."

"See, you say that"-he reached out and took hold of the dangling ends of her scarf, one in each hand-"but I also remember you saying nothing was ever going to happen between us, and then it did, courtesy of, well, you. You understand why I might find it hard to believe when you say it now."

Kate's eyes rolled slowly from left to right, from one of his hands to the other as they gripped the olive-green chiffon. "Can you let go, please?"

She looked up at him and he looked down at her and they looked at one another long and hard.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" Rick asked.

The air between them grew too heavy with tension for her to find the breath for words, but the shrug of her shoulders, however subtle, however unconscious, wasn't lost on him.

After a few beats, he relinquished his hold. "I'll wait until you're sure." Stepping aside, he turned and grabbed her plate off the bar. "These are going to be cold. Fresh eggs, coming up," he said and returned to the kitchen, leaving Kate plenty hot.