Chapter 8

Nathan stared blankly out the windshield, minutes feeling like hours as he and Haley drove through Tree Hill searching for Lucas. He heard Haley sigh and squeezed her hand. He glanced over at her and met her eyes. He gritted his teeth, willing himself to stay strong as tears streamed down her cheeks. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder and turned back to the window. He didn't want to show Haley how worried he was, he wanted to reassure her that everything would be okay. Truthfully, he was worried. Lucas had run away, he still didn't know why. He couldn't have gotten very far, his foot was broken, and his head was still bandaged. Suddenly he jarred from his thoughts and Haley was thrown forward in her seat as Nathan pulled the car sharply to the right, down a small hill. He sighed as he finally caught glimpse of his friend, lying on his back in the middle the river court. He jumped from the car, feeling the cold wind hit his face as he ran towards his friend, hearing Haley's footsteps behind him. He reached the middle of the court and bent down beside Lucas, gasping involuntarily at the sight of the boy. Lucas was staring at the sky. His hands were shaking and his teeth were chattering but his whole body was drenched with sweat. Nathan instinctively pulled his jacket from his shoulders and tucked it around Lucas's shaking body. Haley stroked Lucas's face and put her face close to his.

"Luke…Lucas…what's wrong? What happened?"

Lucas didn't respond, didn't move.

"Lucas, c'mon man, you gotta talk to us, c'mon…"

The two of them sat in silence, praying Lucas would respond. Finally, after what seemed to be hours, Lucas's head turned towards them kneeling next to him.

"Lucas…what's wrong…?" Haley asked again.

"I…it has to stop…" he mumbled, his words slurred.

"What has to stop…?" Nathan asked, confused.

"Everything…" he whispered. His head lolled to the side and his eyes fluttered. "So tired…"

Haley looked to Nathan, her eyes full of fear.

"He's going into shock…we've gotta get him home…call the hospital and my parents. I'll meet you at the car." Nathan instructed. Haley nodded and pulled her cell from her pocket, rushing off towards the car.

Nathan carefully slid his arms under his friend's body, lifting him off the pavement. Lucas groaned loudly and shut his eyes tightly, his body going stiff. Nathan instinctively held the boy tighter and talked softly to him.

"No, c'mon man. I know it hurts…it's okay…we're gonna get you home, okay?"

Lucas groaned loudly again before his body went limp and his eyes fluttered. Nathan stumbled under the sudden weight but quickly regained his balance, worrying more as the stumble didn't seem to affect Lucas at all. He lay the boy down in the backseat with Haley and climbed into the driver's seat. Pulling out onto the road, he glanced in his mirror to see Haley wiping away tears, stroking her brother's face. He quickly turned his attention away from them, he had to be strong.

Pulling quickly into the driveway, Nathan sighed in relief at the sight of the ambulance awaiting them. He stopped the car and jumped out, watching as his dad pulled Lucas from the car and laid him on the stretcher. Nathan wrapped his arms around Haley as they stood helplessly beside the stretcher, watching the paramedics work. Lucas's eyes opened and he met their eyes.

"Please…it hurts…it hurts…make it stop…please…" he whimpered, just like a little boy again.

Haley tried to stop the tears but they flowed freely down her cheeks. She knew he wasn't just talking about physical pain, and not being able to help her brother broke her heart. The paramedics and Nathan's dad waved her on and she ran off behind them, climbing into the ambulance. Without so much as a wave goodbye, they sped off down the road, leaving Nathan staring after them. Nathan stood alone, feeling his mother's presence behind him but not turning. He bit his tongue hard, tasting the blood, until finally he couldn't do it anymore. He turned around quickly and embraced his mom, burying his head in her shoulder. He'd been strong for Haley, and for Lucas, just like he knew he had to, but now it was just him, no one left to be strong for.

Brooke paced the room, staring at the clock. A room full of people filled the hard, plastic chairs, waiting for news about their friend. Nathan and Haley sat close together, surrounded by Peyton, Jake, friends from school and the rivercourt. It seemed to take forever before the short man walked into the room, calling for Lucas's family. Haley and Nathan, along with Nathan's parents, stood and rounded the corner behind him to talk privately.

"Is he okay?" Haley asked anxiously.

"Your brother was in critical condition. We had to put a new cast on his ankle and had to cool him down because his fever spiked. From what we've concluded, his body went into shock from a variety of things. He stopped taking his medication, his injuries becoming more severe and more painful for him. Honestly, I don't know how Mr. Scott got through the past couple days if he stopped taking the painkillers. I've never seen someone with the willpower to do that."

"But he's going to be okay, right?"

"Physically, it will take him abit longer to heal than previously expected, but I think the real problem here is to find out why Lucas stopped taking the medicine in the first place."

"Can we see him?" Nathan asked.

The doctor looked to Nathan's parents.

"Kids, why don't you two go get Brooke and go ahead and we'll stay here to talk to the doctor." Deb said.

Nathan nodded and went to Lucas's room as Haley went to get Brooke.

Lucas heard the faint sound of a door and his eyes fluttered open. The dim light in the room was enough to make him wince. He looked around the room, his vision blurred and out of focus. He couldn't tell where he was or why he was there.

"Hey man…"

Lucas stared hard and blinked quickly to find three figures all sitting close to his bed. He blinked again and brought his eyes to focus as much as he could. His world was still blurry but he could see Brooke, Haley, and Nathan staring at him. Suddenly, reality hit him like a punch in the stomach. He remembered it all…

"Hey…" Lucas greeted, his voice extremely shaky and hoarse.

Haley instinctively shifted and sat on the bed and leaned into her brother's chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into his warm chest. He winced at the sudden shift in weight on the bed and then relaxed, stroking her hair, feeling her tears through his shirt.

"Shhh…it's okay…" he whispered, his voice soft and uneven.

He kissed the top of her head and she pulled back, smiling at him through her tears.

"I missed you Hales…" he whispered.

She nodded and then sat back in her chair.

He looked to Nathan and he smiled.

"Hey man…you okay?"

Lucas nodded, immediately regretting it as his head pounded.

"Was I really out of it?" Lucas asked quietly.

Nathan laughed and nodded.

"Pretty out of it…what happened, man?"

Lucas held his pounding head with one hand and closed his eyes as everything came back to him at once. He didn't want to tell them. He was embarrassed to be weak like that. He opened his eyes to find the three friends still staring at him expectantly.

"I couldn't do it anymore…" he whispered.

"Do what, Luke?" Brooke asked, sitting beside him on the other side of the bed, taking his hand in hers.

"I don't know…everything…"

"Why did you stop taking the medicine Lucas?" Haley asked, growing impatient.

"I didn't want to remember anymore…I can't keep doing this…" he confided softly, feeling his face turn red. "I miss Allie…and I don't want to remember…I want to forget that night…not keep reliving it. I'm not that strong…I can't do it…" he said, feeling hot tears burn his eyes. He looked to Brooke to see tears shining in her eyes, too.

"I miss her, too…" she cried softly, embracing him and crying into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Lucas…I'm sorry you have to remember…I wish I could do it for you…"

Haley slid off the bed and scooted into the chair next to Nathan, letting him put his arm around her as they sat in silence. For the first time since the accident, they both saw how hard Lucas had taken everything and Haley's heart broke. She never really understood why Lucas had wanted to talk to her best friend all those nights after the accident, but now she knew. He thought no one knew how he felt, and Brooke was the closest thing he had. She was the only one that knew how it felt to lose someone that close. Lucas had taken everything a lot harder than they'd thought, but had kept it all inside, pretending to be strong. But now, they all saw how broken Lucas had become. Lucas had loved Allie and no one doubted that they would've dated forever…but then things changed. As twisted as it was, Brooke and Lucas bonded because of their grief. Finally, Brooke pulled back.

"So that's why you stopped taking the medicine?" Nathan asked quietly, still searching for the answers.

Lucas nodded slowly.

"I wanted to make the dreams stop…wanted to make the pain stop…but it only made things worse…and then, and then I couldn't control anything anymore. I don't think I meant to run away…after awhile…I couldn't think…"
"It's okay, Luke…" Haley said softly, rubbing his shoulder.

He laid his head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling.

"No…it's not…" he said softly. "I can't do this…that night…it's like this stupid horror movie that somebody keeps playing in my head and I don't know how to make it stop…"

"That's because you can't, Luke…you can't just make it stop and avoid it. You have to remember…and face what happened. That's the only way you're going to be able to stop it…"

"I can't! I tried!" he said as loudly as his hoarse voice would allow, clearly upset.

"You tried to do it alone, Luke. You don't have to do that…let us help you…"

Lucas looked for the first time towards Nathan and Nathan smiled and nodded slightly, leaning back in his chair. Haley snuggled closer to him and looked at Lucas expectantly. "Please, Lucas…please let us help you…" she whispered.

He didn't say anything, just stared at her in silence. For the first time since the accident, everyone knew how he felt. Everyone knew how weak he was, and he didn't like that feeling. But, he even through his embarrassment, he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, like he didn't have to remember for anyone else, that he could do it at his own pace, when he was ready to remember. He looked from Nathan, to Brooke, to Haley and then nodded.

---

There had never been an alone moment for Lucas that day, people always coming in and out, wishing him well. The guys from the rivercourt had stayed the longest, talking and laughing. But never once had Brooke, Haley, or Nathan left his room. They sat beside him when no one else was there and they sat in the corner at the table while he talked to the other visitors. Nevertheless, he always felt their presence, and it was nice. Now, Brooke was stretched out over the bed near his feet, propped up on her elbow to face him and Haley and Nathan were sharing a small chair beside him. The door opened for what seemed to be the thousandth time that day and the small man from that morning walked in.

"Hi, Lucas…" he said, walking towards the bed and taking the chart from the end.

Lucas gave a small wave, getting giggles from both Haley and Brooke.

"How are we doing?"

"Been better…" he said softly, smiling.

"Well, since you're out of the woods now, we're allowing your friends to stay as long as they wish…"

Haley smiled sincerely at Lucas and Brooke put a hand on his knee, winking at him.

"Now, you requested something for the pain?" the doctor continued, looking down at the stack of papers.

"Uh, yeah…" Lucas said slowly, ignoring the strange looks from his friends.

"Okay, I'll send a nurse in here in just a moment. I'll see you tomorrow morning and hopefully not again for awhile after that, Mr. Scott." He said, walking out the door.

It wasn't two seconds later before a small, young woman walked in, carrying a tray and setting it down in front of him without a word.

"Here you go, sir…sleep well…" she said sweetly before walking out.

Lucas stared at the small pile of colorful pills sitting in front of him. Reaching out a shaky hand he took the handful into his palm and stared at them before looking up to see his friends staring at him.

"You sure you're ready to do this again, Luke?" Nathan asked, breaking the silence.

Lucas looked to Brooke and she smiled at him, sitting up to lay down next to him.

He looked back to Nathan and nodded. He sat in silence and stared at the pills for awhile longer before looking towards Haley again expectantly. She looked into her brother's eyes and saw the hidden fear. She took his hand and smiled.

"Don't worry, Luke…we'll be here when you wake up…I promise…" she said softly.

He nodded and looked down at the pills once more before tipping his head and taking them all in one gulp. He laid his head back and breathed deeply, feeling Brooke snuggle closer to him. He opened his eyes to stare at his sister.

"You promise…?" he asked softly, his eyes growing heavy.

"I promise, Luke…" he heard her say before his eyes closed and he was engulfed in a much-needed darkness.

---

Brooke opened her eyes find a dim lit room and a small bed underneath her body. She focused her eyes and remembered. Haley and Nathan were asleep on the chair next to the bed and Lucas was lying beside her, his body starting to shake.

"Nate…Haley…" she called out softly. Nathan stirred and opened his eyes, immediately realizing what was happening. He lifted a sleepy Haley off his lap and they both stood next to the bed.

"He's not moving as much…" Brooke observed.

"Yeah…his hands are shaking though…" Haley said, taking her brother's hand. Nathan nodded.

They all watched in silence as Lucas's eyes fluttered open and he looked around the room, dazed.

"Hey, Luke…" Haley said softly.

He took a deep breath and smiled at her.

"You kept your promise…" he whispered softly.

She nodded and smiled at him.

"Now it's time for you to keep yours, Luke. Let us help you…what do you remember now?"

He looked from Haley to Nathan to Brooke and then back to Haley before smiling slightly at her.

"All of it…" he whispered.