A/N: Again, I'd like to thank all reviewers! You help to keep my motivation at a fairly stable level. ;)

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Chapter 7: Coconuts

"The answer to your obviously ridiculous request," said the giant, hovering skull, "would have to be a 'no.'"

"Now you listen up, buddy," Lord Crump began, "I don't wanna have to make you take us on that boat-" he pointed to the ship that was floating by the pier in Rogueport, "-to Keelhaul Key, but if I have to resort to drastic measures-"

"Yar," replied Cortez, "you ain't nothing more than a scallywag and a liar. Last time ye went to ol' Keelhaul, ye tried to take me treasure an' bomb me ship! Ye shouldn't have even bothered askin' me for a favor, matey. Yer lucky I don't smite you where ye stand."

"No, you're completely mistaken!" Crump protested. "I didn't try to bomb your ship. Buh huh! Where'd you get that idea? Nope. I tried to bomb those chumps on the island. And, I might add, they were askin' for it, too! They were complete and utter-"

"Relax, Slick," Doopliss called, sounding irritated. "You obviously did somethin' to this guy to make him hate you." Under his breath, he said, "which couldn't be all that hard..."

Fawful then approached Cortez and said, "Could you be doing the taking of me and this 'Doopliss' to the Key of Keelhaul? We are not having done the bombing of your shipness."

The pirate ghost who had once occupied Keelhaul Key as a terrifying and mysterious legend seemed to consider this for a few seconds, and then said, "I don't see any reason why not. As long as yer not a personal friend of that scallywag what tried to take me treasure, that is..."

Hearing this, Doopliss immediately pushed Fawful aside and addressed Cortez. "Friends? With that guy? Huh! What a statement! I'm insulted! In fact, I've never been so insulted in my life! To think that we would be friends with someone who tried to bomb your treasure-"

"Ship," corrected Cortez.

"Right!" Doopliss agreed, "see? This is what I'm talking about! His deed was so terrible that I couldn't even remember what it was he did!"

"What are ye trying to get at?" Asked the floating skull impatiently.

The duplighost gestured towards Lord Crump. "We hate him and have no connections to him whatsoever prior to this little talk we're having at the dock. Get the picture?"

"Hey!" Crump protested. "We made a deal, chump! You can't be goin' back on it already!"

"Tough luck, Slick," Doopliss responded nonchalantly while boarding Cortez's ghost ship, "sometimes life ain't fair. Ya got that?"

"Oh yeah? How'd you like a taste of the Magnus Von Gra-" Crump stopped suddenly. "Oh, yeah...that kinda got destroyed." He turned back to Doopliss. "Well...Oh yeah?"

"I suppose it's okay for you and your beanish little matey there to be gettin' a ride in me ship, then," Cortez stated amiably to Doopliss. "I don't want ye singin' no pirate shanties 'er nuthin' , though. The last fellow who I took over to 'ol Keelhaul Key wouldn't shut up. As I recall, he was the same person who asked me to let 'im borrow me ship...That happened at about the same time that 'ol scallywag o'er there bombed it. Weird fella. Kept singin' an' talkin' about how he's not as rich as he used to be. Said his stay was gonna be short, but I just left 'im anyway."

"Hey!" Lord Crump called. "Would you happen to be talking about-"

Cortez cut him off. "We should be going soon. Aye, the wind's just right for such a trip as this."

"Are you ignoring me?" Demanded the X-Naut.

"Aye, I suppose that's so," responded Cortez.

While all of this controversy was going on, Fawful climbed onto the boat and decided that he would have to tell Cortez about his money predicament. Why? The reason was that he always told everyone about everything he did, and that's just the way that it had to be.

Doopliss and Fawful watched as Cortez and Lord Crump argued, and the whole thing eventually ended with Crump getting knocked into the water. The duplighost and Fawful made a note that the pirate ghost had somehow managed to do this without even moving an inch, and found it somewhat on the unnerving side.

However, the ship soon set sail, leaving Lord Crump to scream insults to the quickly disappearing boat. In fact, several pirate bob-ombs and shipwrecked toads stared at this little spectacle with a mixed sense of fascination and horror.

Meanwhile, on Cortez's ship, Fawful had already begun ranting about how he needed coins to pay back Cackletta. He seemed to rant a lot, especially on ships. "I am needing to be getting coins," he declared to the half-listening Cortez, "for the reason that I am needing to be doing the paying back of the coins which I was spending on the magazines. I was not wanting magazines. I was thinking they were the forms to be getting the makers of smoothies."

None of this seemed to make sense to either Doopliss or Cortez, and Cortez whispered to Doopliss, "Is there any way to make yer matey there quit talkin' away? I like a good palaver now an' then, but I'd say he's passed his limit, if you know what I mean."

"Ya know, you can't really get 'im to shut up once he's started ranting about something. Watch." Doopliss addressed Fawful. "Hey. You."

"What is it you are wanting?" inquired Fawful, "I am wondering what you are wanting, because I am always wondering what people are wanting when they are doing the talkingess to-"

"Shut up."

"I am doing the shutting of up," Fawful continued, "when people are telling me to not be talking, I am not doing the speakingness. I am being of much quietness, which is having the importantness of-"

Doopliss turned away from Fawful and said to Cortez, "See? The guy doesn't understand the concept of being quiet.

The pirate ghost nodded his agreement. "Arg, Matey. That he doesn't."

Soon, the duplighost began to pace around the deck impatiently, staring into the distance to see if he could see land. "Hey there, ghost guy, how long is this little sailing expedition gonna last, eh?"

"With me ship, it'll take a much shorter amount of time," responded Cortez, "but I'd say it'll still take up the rest of the day. She can sail with no winds, an' she can sail faster than most others, but she still can't teleport. That's an ability I haven't quite gotten to install yet."

Doopliss let out a loud, exaggerated groan and turned his anger on Fawful, who he decided was much more safe to pick on than Cortez.

Fawful was still talking, and seemed to have completely forgotten about having been told to shut up earlier. "Once I am going to a mountain of much tallness, and the red and green fink-rats are doing the following of me and Cackletta. I am not needing to be doing the climbingness, because I am having the-"

"So, Slick," Doopliss interrupted, "you've still decided that talking constantly is a good way to spend your time? That's funny, because I specifically remember you saying that you were going to shut up. Of course, you made a big, conversational deal about it...but, ya know, I kinda thought you were sincere. See, this is the kinda thing that gets you tied to the mast with duct tape wrapped around your head. You wouldn't like that very much, now would you?"

"I am not liking the suggestion of which you are doing the talkingness!" Fawful declared, "it is reminding me of the punishmentness which is being given to me in my old jobness." He stopped for a few seconds, and then said, "have I done the telling of you why I am losing my jobness?"

"Yes," Doopliss informed him in a voice that was falsely nice, "in fact, you just told us five minutes ago, and then repeated the story. You know, it kinda gets old the millionth time we hear it!"

Fawful didn't have anything to say to this, but was instead thinking about how he would have to tell them all about all the times that he and Cackletta (mostly Cackletta) had tried to take over the world. Those were good times.

By the time the crew reached Keelhaul Key, it was evening. Doopliss wondered vaguely whether Beldam cared how long they took to run her errands. He rather thought she probably cared a great deal. He didn't know how much it would take for her to fire them, but didn't think it would be much at all. In fact, the duplighost was outraged by the fact that it seemed like she wanted to fire them. Well, the fact that she might want to fire him was more important than the fact that she might want to fire Fawful. He could see how she might want to fire Fawful. However, sending Doopliss into the unemployment line was like a capital sin! In his opinion, at least. And since his opinions were the ones that were rights, Doopliss figured that this had to be everyone else's opinion, as well.

Keehaul Key turned out to be a tropical island of sorts. The key itself was, as far as either Doopliss or Fawful could see, uncivilized except for a small town created by shipwrecked toads and bob-ombs. They soon found out that this was known as "Shantytown."

Doopliss approached a pirate bob-omb who was standing down by the sand and began to try and get coconut locations out of him. "Heya, Slick! This is quite the nice place ya got here, if I do say so myself! What's yer name, huh?"

"Pa-Patch," responded the bob-omb, "it's been a long time since a landlubber's made 'is way to 'ol Shantytown. What's someone like you doin' here, matey?"

Doopliss nodded, trying to look understanding despite the fact that Pa-patch hadn't mentioned any problems. "Hmm...yes. Ya see, I'm lookin' for what one might call a coconut." He then gestured towards Fawful. "That guy is, too. You see, we really need one since the orphanage we work for only accepts children who can eat nothing but coconuts. It's very sad, really."

"Spare me the fairy tales, matey," Pa-Patch replied gruffly, "I don't believe a word of it. What I don't understand is why you think you have to make up a story for me to help you find a coconut. They're everywhere on this island, and they ain't a might tasty. In fact-"

However, he was soon interrupted by an overdressed man who came rushing over to greet the newcomers. "Hello! I see you two are new here! Yes! My name is Flavio, hmm? I don't usually make a point to go to uncivilized places like this, and yet the prospect of adventure calls out to-"

"He wanted to find treasure, since he's been reduced to the 'second richest man in Rogueport,'" Pa-Patch informed them, looking annoyed. "A 'course, he knows there ain't treasure here anymore, since the last treasure we found was in 'ol Cortez's ghost ship"
"Ah!" Declared Flavio, "and yet the prospect of you finding treasure here remains! I hope it is safe for me to assume that people who have been living on such an island as this might tend to discover some of its 'richer' secrets, hmm? Just because there was treasure on the ship does not mean that there is not treasure elsewhere!" Flavio turned to Fawful and Doopliss. "And yet, I am now finding myself in a rather troubling predicament. You see, that giant skull fellow seems to have found it quite humorous to take me to this dreadful island, and then to leave me here. Quite a troublesome fate."

Doopliss was about to make a witty remark, but Pa-Patch cut in first. "If ye took more time to work on yer intelligence and less time on yer 'interesting' style of clothes, there, ye might have know that there's a pipe to the east of here that leads right outta Keelhaul Key."

Flavio brightened. "Ah! It seems that you are finally developing a sense of usefulness! Well, I'll just be leaving then, hmm? Flavio would like to know if you find any object which might be considered 'treasure' in the near future!"

"I'll be sure to, matey," Pa-Patch muttered darkly, "as soon as ye stop being so annoyin' all the time, that is."

Meanwhile, Flavio was heading towards the pipe, singing what happened to be the only song that he knew. However, his tune was soon interrupted by Lord Crump, who popped out of the pipe right in front of him.

"Dear me!" exclaimed Flavio, "Why, it's none other than 'Four Eyes!' Have you retired from being evil, I wonder?"

Instead of answering, Crump simply dragged Flavio back to Shantytown, looking for Doopliss and Fawful. He spotted them and, still dragging Flavio, approached them angrily. "What's the big idea, chumps? Sorry, but going back on our deal is something that can't be forgiven. Buh huh! You're in forsuch a world of hurt!"

"Whoa!" exclaimed Doopliss, "How'd you get here, Slick? We just came from that dead guy's boat, and you sure weren't on it!"

Fawful agreed, and then changed the subject. "Yes! You were not being on the boat! We are looking for the coconut! Are you helping us in our searchness?"

"Uh...whatever," Crump said to Fawful, and then addressed Doopliss. "It's my secret how I got here, but the important thing now is that our deal-"

"-Is still in order!" Doopliss put in, trying to cover up the fact that they had left Lord Crump in Rogueport. "You can't expect us to be responsible for...circumstances beyond our control, right? Well, now that you're here, I suppose you'll be helping us look for a coconut. That is, if you wanna keep our deal, slick."

"Uh...right," Lord Crump said, sounding confused. He dropped Flavio. "Of course our deal is still up. And you better remember it, too!" He looked around. "A coconut can't be too hard to find in a place like this. Buh huh! It's a tropical island! That's why I suggested we go here! Buh huh huh huh!"

Flavio overheard this and immediately found an excuse that he hoped would allow him to leave. He alsowondered why Crump had dragged himback to Shantytown, since Flavio and Doopliss were obviously the ones that he was mad at."You are searching for a coconut? Well, I know for a fact that there are coconuts on this island, yes? In fact, I believe that I once sent someone to find me such a thing in exchange for Chuckola Cola. The great Flavio remembers that it took a great length of time to find the coconut, though. I hope it's not too bold to suggest that you three split up, hmm? Ah! I am seeing you like this idea!"

"Not bad, weirdo," Doopliss congratulated Flavio, sounding rather nonchalant. "I guess that is the best thing to do, eh?" In reality, the duplighost was planning on going to someplace close to the camp and just sitting there until one of the other two morons found a coconut.

"That is being an idea of much greatness!" Fawful declared adamantly! "If we are all searching, it will be taking a time of much shortness to find!"

Lord Crump shrugged. "I don't usually take suggestions from idiots, but I guess this one ain't too bad."

"This is a settled plan then, hmm?" Flavio said, slowly making his way towards the pipe. "Flavio is glad to hear that his suggestion was taken!" With that, he left Shantytown with at a speed far surpassing his usual abilities.

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A/N: As you can see, I have finished Chapter 7. Only 3 more chapters to go, I think! XD