Poppy didn't want to finish her year at Hogwarts. She didn't want to go home either.
Voldemort's return meant that her future was secured now - she was a Muggle-born who'd read up on the last war, so she knew what was coming for her if he wasn't defeated again.
Sitting on her hospital bed days later, Harry gone, Moody gone, just her now, her anger dissipated, her head finally recovering, she traced her fingers over the letter to Charlie that had never been sent.
It felt like a lifetime ago that she'd considered sending him the letter to see if they could be together.
Now her dream was a nightmare, and her life depended on her choice.
Her option of Charlie and the Sanctuary was gone in an instant.
Her only choices now were Auror training and fight, or Gringotts and fight.
Poppy felt a tear roll down her cheek and watched as it dropped onto the letter in her hands.
"Pop?" asked Ginny, poking her head around Poppy's curtains.
Poppy looked up and tried to keep her face neutral, as blank as she could. But she couldn't. Her tears betrayed her.
Ginny moved forward quickly and wrapped her arms around Poppy's waist. They stayed like that for a while - Ginny hugging, Poppy crying silently.
"Charlie?" Ginny asked, looking at the letter. "Oh Pop… you were in the Owlery trying to send a letter to Charlie? Hermione told me something in here is why the Moody-impersonator attacked you."
Poppy, too upset to care, gave the letter to Ginny. "Go… go on," she whispered.
Ginny read the letter quickly and then hugged Poppy tightly. After a while, she said, "No man's worth getting injured over, especially not one of my brothers…"
Poppy laughed out loud, her first laugh for days, and then began to cry and laugh and cry and laugh until her head buzzed with nothingness and her eyelids felt heavy, her eyes puffy and full with tears.
"Go to sleep," Ginny said, easing her down onto the bed.
"I'm meant to leave today," she whispered back, closing her eyes. "I have to go back to my dorm."
"I'll talk to Pomfrey."
"I don't have anywhere to go after Hog- Hogwarts," she whispered. "I don't have enough time to find somewhere to rent and we leave school in a couple of days."
"Come to The Burrow," Ginny said.
"I can't. Your parents-"
"Have already invited you. That's why I'm here. Now, sleep."
The letter was gone when she woke, and Poppy was glad. She hoped Ginny had destroyed it.
The leaving feast felt like a terrible, terrible dream.
She sat with Cass and Esther. Having used up all of her tears, she simply stared at the black drapes which lined the walls and held their hands as they cried. The food tasted delicious but she barely ate.
She tried to ignore the malnourished real Moody who was now sitting at the Professors table, returned from the hospital for that meal. She didn't have the same worried feeling around him. It was still slightly there, but not to the same extent, and their chat had helped immensely. But she still couldn't come to terms with it all yet. Not properly. His likeness had stolen her last two weeks of school, and stolen her friend's life.
At one point she looked at Fleur, who was already staring at her.
Poppy raised an eyebrow, and Fleur did the same, silently saying hello to each other in their own special way.
Cass, Esther and Poppy's plan had always been that when they left Hogwarts they'd have a proper drink at their leaving feast. So she leant forwards at the end of the main meal, getting both of their permission, and then spiked all of their juice with Firewhisky.
Dumbledore's speech was different to previous years, and focussed on Cedric, Harry and Voldemort. As he spoke she felt her resolve strengthen.
Poppy raised her glass and stood with the other students when Dumbledore raised a toast. "Cedric Diggory," she said, her voice melding in with those from the Great Hall.
"Harry Potter," she said when prompted, raising her glass again.
She barely tasted the Firewhisky as she drained her goblet.
The next morning found Poppy standing by her trunk in the Entrance Hall. It was the day she'd leave Hogwarts forever, and while it was sad, somehow it felt easier than the preceding days. It felt as if the walls weren't closing in on her anymore, and her head didn't hurt as much.
"I am 'oping to get a job 'ere," Fleur said, watching Poppy tug her trunk, inching it forwards until it was in line with the others. "I 'ad been 'oping for something already but non. Nothing so far. I zink everyone is worried after what 'appened."
"Or more likely, you're being picky?" Poppy said quietly. Luckily Fleur laughed. "Gringotts might have something," Poppy added, standing up straight. "I know someone who works there. I could ask him if you'd like? Then we could work together…" she said, shrugging. "Not in the same place probably, but… I don't know…"
"I thought you were going for Auror training?" Fleur asked, tossing her silvery hair over her shoulder.
"I am," Poppy replied, smiling. "But I've confirmed a part time role at Gringotts for now. I still have to get in…"
"No dragons then?"
"No."
"Will you be looking for someone to live with? Or 'ave you found something already?" Fleur asked.
Poppy smiled. "I'm staying at a friend's for a bit while I find somewhere. If you get a job over here and you're looking… I don't know, it might be cheaper to find a two bed…" she asked sheepishly. She thought Fleur would balk at the idea, but she wanted to offer nevertheless. It would be nice to not start post-Hogwarts life alone.
Fleur let out a squeal which surprised Poppy, and then hugged her. "It would be my pleasure," Fleur said, smiling. "I will write to you? We can make the arrangements? I would like to return within the month, and I am sure that my parents will pay if I cannot find work before I return."
"Perfect," Poppy said, letting out a small laugh, feeling even better than before. "I'll talk to Bill about Gringotts when I can then and send you an owl."
"Bill?" Fleur asked, tossing her hair again. "Qui est Bill?"
"Bill Weasley, he's Ron's brother. You know, Harry Potter's friend? I'm staying with his family for a bit this summer." Fleur smiled at her in such a way that Poppy didn't need her to explain - "But you know him don't you? How?"
"We met at the task, and I 'ave already written to him…" Fleur admitted. "'e is different… In fact, I do not know if you will need to ask 'im for a job, as I 'ave already applied to something 'e recommended to me, and I will 'ear back soon. 'E is coming back to London for a desk job actually…"
"Merlin…" Poppy said, a grin overtaking her face.
"I will see you very soon then," Fleur said, smiling. "I 'ave to say goodbye to 'Arry before I leave."
Poppy chuckled and watched her go, shaking her head. Of all the people… they… would make sense.
"Seventh Years!" called Professor McGonagall, and Poppy joined the rest of her small year, filing silently down to the boats waiting at the boathouse.
"You joined Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as children with heads in need of filling. You leave our hallowed halls as adults with full minds and hearts, at the start of yet another journey," Dumbledore said, bowing his head slightly.
The boats set off across the lake, and they watched the school grow smaller behind them. Halfway across the lake, the Durmstrang boat sailed alongside them and then dipped underneath the water. The Beauxbatons coach soared above them, flying off into the distance.
Poppy leant her head against the train carriage window when they'd boarded. Sitting next to Esther and Cass, she didn't know what to say to them. Her mind was blank.
"Do you believe him?" Esther asked quietly as the hills rolled by and they made their way towards Kings Cross Station.
"What?" Cass asked.
"Harry Potter. Do you believe what he said? That… that… that You-Know-Who is back?" Esther asked.
Poppy stayed silent, staring out the window. She knew that he was, but she wanted to see what her friends thought.
"No," said Cass. "No I don't. I think he's disturbed and just saw Ced- just saw Cedric die. I don't think he knows what he's saying, and I'm angry at Dumbledore for all his fear mongering."
"Why don't you?" Poppy asked, looking at the floor by Cass' feet.
"You're a Muggle-born," Cass replied, and although Poppy knew she didn't mean it in a harsh way, it still stung. "You don't remember what it was like. But I do. Mammy was always terrified. Every day she'd stand at the door, our bags packed, just in case Da didn't come home, or in case he came back and told her they had to leave." Poppy ducked her head. Cass' mum was a Muggle-born witch - whatever was coming for Poppy was coming for her too. "I can barely remember it but I refuse to believe that that's what's coming for us again."
"You remember it too?" Poppy whispered, looking up at Esther.
Esther nodded. "I do. My earliest memory was my mum sobbing because they got her brother. I don't remember him, but mum said they probably killed him because he refused to work with them. I also remember the celebrations when You-Know-Who was defeated. They went on for days."
Poppy blinked, and then she returned to looking out the window.
"Poppy?" Esther asked. "Do you think he's back?"
"No," Poppy replied. "I know he is."
They fell silent again and barely spoke again until Poppy watched them both leave the compartment, going off in search of their other friends.
Not knowing what to do or who to go to now, she waited a while and then stood and walked out of the compartment as well.
She walked down the train until she saw three Slytherins lying in the hall. She recognised them as Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle. From the vile nonsense Hermione had said they spouted at her, Poppy had no qualms thinking that their parents were either Death Eaters, had been Death Eaters, or at least sympathised with Voldemort's cause.
Earlier in the year she would have put her feelings aside and helped wake them up or something, but now she didn't want to. She just wanted distraction from everything, not to be reminded of what they thought of her 'kind'.
So when they began to stir, she opened the compartment door nearest them, ducking inside rather than trying to help.
"Can I join?" she asked Fred, George, Ron, Hermione, Lee and Harry, who she found inside.
"Course," George said, beckoning her in.
She joined their game of exploding snap and focussed on trying not to lose. Then, Lee challenged her to a game of Wizard's Chess.
Playing, she again, tried to win, beating him more than five times. When he groaned and shook his head as George laughed at him, she realised how much had changed in the past few months. When she'd played James during her Gringotts interview back in November she'd admitted that she liked to play for fun, not caring if she lost. But now if felt as though losing would be the most disastrous thing in the world. Now it felt as though she needed to always be one step ahead. She just needed to figure out how to do that in her own way, in her own life, not just in chess.
She went back to her compartment when they began their approach to Kings Cross, and changed into a just-above-the-knee blue dress, and then pulled her trunk out onto the platform the Muggle way when they stopped - grounding herself with its heavy weight. She knew she would need to put the featherweight charm back on at some point, but she couldn't bring herself to yet.
Stepping onto the platform, she breathed in deeply, despite the smoke of the steam engine, and stared at the red engine.
"Photo?" Esther asked, and Poppy turned to see her and Cass standing there.
"We've decided, it's the biggest one yet, but agree to disagree?" Cass asked, her eyes uncharacteristically filled with tears. "Even when I was angry at you for not defending Ced- Cedric," she said, her voice breaking as her lip wobbled, "he always said friendship was stronger than a stupid tournament. I reckon he'd be annoyed at us if we ruined our last chance to say bye to Hogwarts."
Poppy wanted to say this was too big to pretend wasn't an issue, but she didn't. Cass was right. Or Cedric was.
They hugged, despite their feelings about Voldemort's return, and held onto each other as though this was the moment before a plane jump - the moment before they began their freefall into the unknown.
Then they wiped their eyes, and smiled at each other. Esther waved her wand and positioned her camera, and Poppy and Cass used Cass' mirror to quickly apply and reapply some make up - they wanted to remember smiles at the moment, not tears. And Poppy wanted her friends to have a nice photo of the three of them before she went off in search of danger and, if Moody's Hospital Wing ramblings about the coming war were right, possible death.
Finally, they all stood by the front of the train, their arms around each other, and took their photo.
Then they walked through the hidden archway, stepping out into the 'real' world together one last time.
Poppy hugged her friends again. "Bye," she called sadly as they found their parents, waving at them for a final time.
She turned and stopped when she saw who was standing next to Mrs Weasley.
She let out a long shuddering yet steeling breath and walked up to the group of Weasleys, pulling her trunk along with her.
"Thank… thank you for letting me stay for a bit," she said to Mrs Weasley, who smiled.
"Of course it's not a problem. By the sounds of things you'd be spending a lot of time with us anyway," she said, and it took Poppy a moment to realise that she meant because of the Order of the Phoenix. "Right, taxis are waiting," Mrs Weasley said, finishing her headcount.
"Here," Charlie said, moving to take Poppy's trunk. "I know I shouldn't be here, but I just… I needed to know you were okay."
Before she knew what she was doing, she'd wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She heard her trunk thump to the floor and his arms encircled her waist, holding her tightly. She buried her face in his neck.
"Told you he wasn't here for us," Fred said.
"Come on Mum, I'm sure they'll Apparate back," George added.
Poppy couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up, her shoulders shaking. Charlie chuckled too and pulled back to look down at her. "We should still go with Mum. I think she'd kill me otherwise."
"But you're here," Poppy whispered, removing her arms. Charlie picked up the trunk and began to move them both towards the exit. "I can't… Charlie, I-"
"It's okay," he said, smiling at her. "I know we're good. Ginny sent your letter, and Mum said you were asking after me."
Thank you for reading! If there's enough interest, then Poppy will return in: Poppy Jacobs and The Order of the Phoenix (Title TBC). Please review/PM me to let me know if you'd like me to continue!