Thanks to the sizable sleep debt I'd accrued from yesterday's all-nighter, I completely missed the morning of June 13th. Instead, the first things I saw upon opening my eyes were the glaring rays of the afternoon sun. Shining directly into my pupils.

Ack-! Gah, damn it, right in the retinas! Fuckin' piece of shit bastard giant ball of-

It took a little longer for me to calm down from that little episode than I'd care to admit. "One more reason to board up that stupid window. Forget Coobie, how am I supposed to even wake up safely if that's the very first thing I'm gonna see?!"

I grumbled a bit more, then sighed and checked my phone's clock. "1:39… good god, I crashed hard. I don't remember getting punished anywhere near this harshly the last time I stayed up that long." I'd even gone to sleep earlier than usual since the mental fatigue had hit me a little harder than I'd anticipated.

Sheesh, I'm out of practice. There used to be a time where I could spend the entire night binging anime, then go to school in the morning and still have enough energy for a few rounds on 2Fort when I got back home.

That was incredibly unhealthy and I knew it, but I really hadn't been able to help it at that age. Man, sophomore years were just the worst.

Thinking about my previous school years caused my brain to flow to related topics - including a certain bullheaded student with blue hair and a taste for the classics.

I haven't seen or heard from her once since the bridge. It hasn't been that long, but…

I was worried. On more levels than one. I had no idea when my sense of obligation had been replaced with a real, personal protective instinct (nor would I fully realize it for a little while longer), but at some point in this ludicrous story, I had honestly, genuinely begun to care for these girls. Their repeated acts of dumbassery typical of their age notwithstanding, of course.

I had expected Sayaka in particular to be the biggest offender in that category, and to a degree, I had been correct, but… thinking on it, I found that she really hadn't been as much of a bitch to deal with as I'd first thought. If anything, Mami and Kyoko were deadlocked for the spot of "most difficult girl," simply because of the effort I had to put into making sure they didn't fall to pieces. Or, well, with Kyoko the effort went more towards keeping myself from losing my composure (and sanity).

Mami was also deadlocked with Homura for the title of "most anxiety-inducing". Striking a partnership with the time traveler had not lessened that feeling whatsoever, in part thanks to how she could theoretically disregard me entirely at any point and put a bullet in my Soul Gem if she decided I wasn't worth the risk. Whether or not she was actually liable to do that was another matter, but I got the distinct feeling that I would end up staring down the barrel of her Beretta 92 once again if I made even one false move, no matter how much I buttered her up.

And I knew for a fact that she wouldn't make the same mistakes twice.

But in any case, Sayaka's condition took priority in this moment. Thus, I decided that today was a prime day to pay a little visit to Mitakihara Middle School.

Grooowl…

...as soon as I stuffed some lunch in this greedy belly of mine.

About an hour or two later, I hit pause on "It Doesn't Matter" of Sonic Adventure fame and looked up. And up. But only twice, because it wasn't quite that tall.

Wow…

I'd probably passed this spot a couple times on my many walks around the city, but now that I had an actual reason to approach it, I was kind of seriously impressed.

Now that's one place I wouldn't complain about being stuck in for seven hours a day, five days a week.

That was almost certainly a lie (a gilded prison was still a prison after all), but the point stood regardless.

Mitakihara Middle School overall sort of looked like a cross between a chapel and a standard one-building school campus. It had no shortage of tower-looking structures, and made me feel like an ant in comparison to its majesty.

Nothing new there, I suppose. Buildings like these never fail to rub my own insignificance in my face.

Perhaps it would've been more apt to liken it to a castle. From what I'd heard of the Japanese school system, some of the faculty sure loved to parade themselves around like royalty, shoving their school's carefully-manicured image down the throats of anyone whose lips were even the slightest bit parted.

That was likely just the Persona 5 fan in me speaking, but then again, part of that game was a huge commentary on some of the system's faults, and I didn't doubt that it had hit the nail on the head with its depictions.

None of this changed the fact that I doubted I'd ever truly feel at home in any place like this. Or anywhere that had even the tiniest connection to corporate politics of any kind (or at least just the scummy, corrupt kind).

Maybe Marx really was onto something when he wrote that manifesto. Then again, his way of doing things just ends up with the government getting enough power that it stops caring about keeping up the act that everything isn't totally fucked, so there's no real change all told. At least with Capitalism, you have the privilege to lie and pretend that everything's fine.

...huh. Now where had that thought come from?

Bleh. All this stress must be playing havoc with my brain.

My train of thought was thankfully derailed by the ringing of the final bell of the day. From my place at the campus's front entrance, I could already see students walking out the doors in groups, by themselves, and everything in between.

It took a few minutes and more than a few funny looks from the kids, but soon enough, I managed to pick out a familiar shock of pink hair. The girl attached to it spotted me fairly quickly, no doubt thanks to the obvious contrast of my black jacket against the sea of beige-and-white uniforms.

...man, I really do stick out like a sore thumb.

"Audrey?" My focus snapped back to the person in front of me. "What are you doing here?"

I shrugged. "Well, I had some free time, and I was wondering how you and the bull were holding up after you-know-what." I paused for a moment, realizing that there was a conspicuous lack of Sayaka in the immediate area. "Speaking of which, uh… where is she?"

"Hitomi grabbed her when class ended," Madoka answered. "She said she wanted to talk to her about something."

It took a second for things to click.

Oh… shit, that's right. Today's when she gives Saya her ultimatum.

The new recruit would be forced to either confess to Kyosuke, or do nothing and let Hitomi have him. The final straw in a series of hard knocks that would send her careening into a downward spiral, at the bottom of which lied the birth of Oktavia von Seckendorff.

Fuck.

Effort was exerted to keep my expression disconnected from my thoughts. "Huh… any idea why?"

The pinker shook her head. "Not a clue."

"Yeah, didn't think so." An awkward silence descended as I tried to find a new conversation topic. "Uh… how've you been?"

A frown settled on her face. "Not the best. Everything Kyubey told us that night, it… it was a lot to take in. I don't think it's really hit me yet." She sighed. "Honestly, I've just been running on autopilot for the most part these last couple days. I think Sayaka is, too."

My interest was piqued. "How do you figure?"

"It seems like she's just…" She stopped, trying to find a way to put it into words. "Like she's not all there. She's paid even less attention in class than she normally does, and I've had to shake her out of staring at nothing more than a few times." Her arms folded themselves. "She's good at hiding it, but I get the feeling that she's just going through the motions."

Textbook signs that she had a lot on her mind if I'd ever seen them. "Hm…"

"More importantly, though," she switched gears, a smile coming back to her face. "I saw Mami at lunch today! She told me all about how you helped her!"

Now that was news. "She's gone back to school already? Wow. I would've thought she'd be taking her frustrations out on some poor witch right about now." It only occurred to me after I finished that sentence that the action fit Kyoko much more than it did Mami, but after what the blonde pulled the first time I'd counseled her, it didn't exactly seem out of the question. Regardless, I nodded to myself. "That's good, then. Companionship with you's probably what she needs the most right about now."

"Really?" Madoka's eyebrows climbed up, before she sheepishly looked away. "I probably should've walked home with her today, then."

"Eh, I wouldn't worry about it," I waved off. "Mami might not be the most stable person around, but she's not made of glass." Even if she did give off that impression. "Crippling loneliness and self-worth issues aside, she's been in the contractor business for a good few years by now. She can handle a trip home on her own just fine."

"You do have a point there." Her embarrassment was evident in her suitably chastised expression.

All of a sudden, I detected a magic signature. Quickly recognizing who it belonged to, I scanned the crowd again, and quickly caught sight of a head of silky black hair.

An idea hit me then, and I grinned, glancing at Madoka. "Besides, if you want someone to walk home with, you already have a willing volunteer." At the same time, I telepathically pinged the stalker. 'Oi, Dio Brando. Your morality pet needs a convenient buddy to escort her to the comforts of her abode. Why don't you be a pal and get that edgy ass of yours over here?'

The response was immediate. 'Why don't you do it yourself?'

Not jumping at the chance to do literally anything with the pinko? Who are you and what have you done with Homura?

'I still have business here,' was what I actually sent. 'C'mon, please? We're in this together, aren't we?'

I could hear the exasperated eye roll and accompanying groan in her inflection when she admitted defeat and changed course towards us. 'Fine.'

Madoka hadn't been silent while I'd been calling. "Yeah, I know. Sayaka's been there for me for as long as I can remember. She told us herself that that hasn't changed, even after she became a Magical Girl." Her smile, while fond, was also somewhat sad. "...she's one of the best friends I could ever ask for, honestly."

My grin widened. "Who said I was talking about Saya?"

"Huh? What do you…" She trailed off as she tried to follow my eyes, and quickly found what I had been looking at right when it - or rather, she - emerged from the crowd with a signature flip of her hair. "Homura?"

"Hello." As usual, her expression was a stone mask of cold, hard indifference.

I flashed a two-fingered salute. "Good to see you too, Homu. I have here one friend-shaped Madoka, fully prepped for transport to her residence at no extra charge." I made a show of zipping down and reaching inside my jacket. "If you'll give me a moment to find the paperwork, we can get you squared away and-"

"That won't be necessary." She cut me off, briskly moving up to her package in order to gently take hold of her and begin leading her away. It was faint, but there were signs of irritation to be found on her face. "Goodbye."

Madoka was left floundering at the sudden turn of events. "W-what? Homura, why-?"

My jacket zipper went back up as I sighed. "Kids these days. Can't even be bothered to pay for honest work. What is the world coming to?" I shrugged, then sent them off with a wave. "Meh, whatever. That's the economy's problem, not mine. Have fun, you two!"

She may have been getting better, but the unfortunate pinker was still nowhere near assertive enough to even think of going against Homura in that situation. As such, she quickly accepted her fate and began meekly walking alongside her self-appointed guardian before I lost sight of the pair in the crowd.

Don't say I never did anything for you, Hameru. Now go put on those moves! I want sparks flying, you hear me?

Never in my life did I think I'd ever end up playing the role of wingman (wingwoman? Who knew), and for a time-traveling Magical Girl of all things. Then again, never in my life did I think I'd ever get hit with a heavy dose of Isekai Protagonist syndrome, and look where was I now.

I didn't have to wait that much longer for my objective to appear, thankfully. Hitomi also ended up coming out at one point, whereupon I decided to make myself scarce. The kelp-head wasn't who I was here for, after all.

I did flip her the bird on a whim after I left her line of sight, though. Sure, she had no idea just how severely her actions could impact the blue bull, and she was incredibly professional about it, but it was the principle of the matter. Not to mention that she hardly gave Sayaka a reasonable amount of time to process and consider the choice.

And she thought girls couldn't love girls. Like it was still the bloody 20th century or something.

Fuck outta here with that traditionalist bullshit.

Granted, that probably said more about her upbringing and parents than it did about her, but I wasn't exactly in a mindset to give a rat's ass about that. But anyway…

At last, I spied a solitary girl with a mop of blue sky sitting on her head exit the huge building. As she approached, I noticed that her head was tilted down slightly, and her gaze was… pensive, if I had to put a word to it.

Deep breath… hoo, all right. Back to work. Would be nice to have a break from all this therapy, but oh well. Teens will be teens.

Madoka's earlier words were proven true when it took Sayaka until she was right in front of me to realize that I was even here. "Eh?"

I smirked. "Finally. Was wondering if I needed to pull out a neon sign or something." It softened into a smile. "You doin' all right?"

Her mind, still processing the fact that I was standing here, took a while to come up with a reply. When it did, though… "Uh, yeah, actually. All things considered, I feel pretty fine."

"You sure about that?" My eyes narrowed. "From what I just saw, you don't seem all that fine to me."

For an instant, she looked like she was going to snap back, before thinking better of it. "Yeah, I guess I was giving off that kinda vibe," she admitted. "But you don't have to worry, really. I was just… thinking."

"That alone gives me more than enough reason to worry," was my deadpan response.

"Hey, I can have good ideas!" There was the comeback. Unfortunately, she failed to keep her momentum. "...sometimes!"

I scrutinized her, then relented. "I suppose I can believe that, if only because you haven't been held back a year yet."

The bull slumped over, unwilling to continue fighting a battle she knew she'd already lost. And yet, she was unable to resist one last attempt to save her pride. "Come on, my grades aren't that bad…"

"Saya, from what I hear, you getting a C-plus in anything is considered a miracle." My flat stare continued to bore holes in her head. "I'm sure you know exactly what kind of impression that gives off."

I decided to keep the bit about not knowing whether to be more disappointed in her or in her parents for letting her get away with it to myself.

Either way, she got the message loud and clear. At this point, the only thing she had left to offer was a put-out groan. "I hate when you're right."

"Do better, then." Practice made perfect, after all. "Unless you have an eidetic memory, the only way you're passing those classes is by studying."

However, with that wrapped up, it was time to switch gears. "If it's not too nosy, though… can I ask what you were thinking about?"

She stared off for a moment. "...a lot of things."

"Like what?"

"Well, y'know…" Her hand went up to do a bit of scratching. "Stuff. Witches. Us. Those kindsa things."

"Ah, gotcha." I nodded sagely. "Yep, that's about what I'd expect."

"Uh-huh." She nodded back. "I mean, when you find out that your life's been turned into some unholy mixture of Soylent Green and Pretty Cure, it's basically impossible not to start questioning a few things."

The wacky description made me burst out laughing. "Oh-, oh lord, why is that so accurate?! Freakin' Christ, girl!"

"I know, right?!" Giggles ran freely from her lungs. "It's nuts! It's like something out of a fever dream or acid trip!"

We calmed down pretty quickly, and I decided to probe a bit more. "Seriously, though. Is there anything on your mind that you wanna talk about?" I gave her a once-over. "Any residual trauma? Regrets? New developments, maybe?"

"Audrey, relax." She shook her head. "I'm okay. I know being the local counselor's your thing and all, but you really don't have to worry about me. You remember how I gave you my word, right? That I was gonna stick around until the very end?"

A sigh left my mouth. "Yeah, I know, but… it's a little hard for me to take things entirely at face value, especially when it comes to stuff like this."

For a moment, Sayaka was uncharacteristically quiet. "...that's fair."

Wincing at how I'd unintentionally shifted the mood into depressing territory, I continued to push. "So you're sure there's nothing I need to lose sleep over? You're completely, totally, one hundred percent issue-free?"

"Not entirely, ya dink," she snorted. "But for the most part, yeah."

"Reeeeally?" I leaned in. "Not even any… relationship problems, let's say?"

I got a blank stare from Sayaka for a few seconds while she processed the question. Then she was sent into hysterics. Doubled over, gasping for air, a hint of tears, the works.

"Hah, ah, oh, oh man, you and Hitomi both!" She stumbled, nearly losing her balance when she bent a little too far. "That's hilarious!"

Caught completely flat-footed, I tried coming up with some kind of smart response. Unfortunately, the situation had knocked me off my game, and I was forced to go with a more simplistic route of interrogation. "What, what's so hilarious about that?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she wheezed out, rubbing at her eyes. "It's just… you're all still totally sold on the idea that I'm actually into Kyosuke! It's- ahah, this is gold!"

You can bet that statement drew my attention like a kleptomaniac to anything shiny. This specific reaction - laughing like a madman - usually meant either very good things, or very bad things.

Context suggested that this situation was leaning towards good things, but I had to be sure. Assuming everything was fine when it really wasn't was a mistake I was in no way willing to make under any circumstances. "And… you're saying that despite abundant evidence on the contrary, you're not actually into him? Is that right?"

"You big dummy, I never was!" Finally managing to stand up straight, she shot me a look with an almost unnoticeable dose of smugness.

I blinked, then squinted. "You'll have to excuse me for finding that a little hard to believe, what with all the in-no-way-subtle hints you've been broadcasting."

The smugness disappeared. "Right, yeah, I guess I should explain that. Ah..." Her brow furrowed, and her pointer finger came up to tap on her temples. "How do I put this…?"

"Oh, before you do that," I cut in when a thought hit me. "We should probably get moving. I assume you'd want to get home before the sun goes down, correct?"

"Eh?" Briefly looking around, she discovered that the courtyard was just about empty. She then took out her phone to check the time, whereupon her other hand moved to cover her face with a "d'oh!"

We left the school pretty quickly after that.

About a block later, Sayaka seemed to at last get an idea for how she wanted to go about her explanation.

"All right, so…" She blew out a breath, committing to her plan. "To start off, well… to be completely honest, I… kinda-sorta forgot Kyosuke even existed up until today."

If this had been a cartoon, my eyes would've bugged out at that moment. "Excuse me, you what?"

"Or," she reconsidered, "maybe it'd be more accurate to say that I was too busy thinking about Mami and the others to bother with a little crush."

I tried my best to properly convey that she wasn't making as much sense as she thought she was through the glance I shot her. "So you were into him?"

She fired back with a little glare of her own. "Shut up, I was getting to that. Now…"

Remembering where she left off, she continued. "This morning, while I was walking to school, I happened to see him again, and when I did, I ended up realizing how… not important he was." She stopped for a moment, recalling something else. "I mean, yeah, he was kinda the whole reason I made my wish, but… after the incident, I ended up totally putting him off to the side in favor of you all."

Her vision turned upward towards the sky. "Finding out that I'd basically sold my soul for the power to heal any wound and that I'd turn into a monster if I pushed myself too far…" She trailed off. "It put things into perspective for me, y'know? I knew forming a contract was going to put me in danger, sure, but I don't think it set in until we discovered the truth about it all, and Mami…"

"Shot me," I finished.

"...yeah." Back down her eyes went, this time to the ground. "When I got home that night, my head was spinning so fast that I hardly slept a wink. I just couldn't stop thinking about it all." A rueful smile appeared on her face. "It was the same when I went to school the next day. I kept wondering if Mami was going to be okay, or if you were going to be okay… hell, I'm pretty sure I even thought about Kyoko once or twice."

There was someone missing there. "What, no love for Homu?"

"Ehh…" she looked off to the side. "I get the feeling she can take care of herself."

I let out a snort. "And we can't?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it," she snipped back immediately. "Besides, I… really don't know what to think about her. It's like she swaps sides at the drop of a hat." Her arms folded themselves in contemplation. "First she was chasing Kyubey, then she nearly killed you, then she saved Mami, then she saved me, and not even a week later she's apparently after my head. There's someone who needs to learn a thing or two about loyalty."

She wasn't entirely wrong, but then again… "I don't know about that. Remember what happened when she saved you? I'm pretty sure I heard Madoka trying to make a wish right before she dropped in."

"Huh, now that you mention it, yeah," the bull muttered, before her face scrunched up. "Wait. When Madoka threw your gem off, she was the one who went to get it… and that means that she…" Her eyes widened. "Oh… oh."

I couldn't stop a slightly-smug smile from stretching across my mouth. "Something you'd like to share with the class, miss Miki?"

"H-Homura, she-" The reveal had evidently not been one she'd seen coming. "She knew. She knew all this time, what was really going on." Her hand came up to support her head. "She wasn't trying to stop competition. She never was. She was just trying to…" I thought I could see tiny droplets of sweat building on her forehead. "Oh, jeez."

"Yyyyyyep." An old memory conveniently resurfaced. "Remember what I said about her the first time we met, back at Mami's house? You know, how everyone has their reasons?"

"I do now." She let out a shaky breath. "Holy smokes, I- I think I'm gonna need a minute."

I let her be for a bit, giving her time to parse through and digest the secret she'd uncovered. It was understandably huge for her, given her general impression of the mystery girl and her prior opinions. Especially because of the aforementioned attempt at removing her from the land of the living.

"Okay…" she sighed out, signaling she was ready again. "I think I'm good now. Uh, where was I before Homura took over?"

My mind came back to a certain line. "I heard you mention something about never actually being into Kyosuke in the first place? What's up with that?"

"Right, yeah, that." Snapping her fingers, she dove back in. "So, I told you how I realized that he was never that big of a deal? Well, it kinda made me take a step back and really think about how I'd been feeling about him." She shamefully reached up to scratch the back of her head. "Turns out… looking back, I found out that what I'd been dealing with all this time wasn't actually love, or at least not the kind of love you'd think. It was more like… like I wanted to see him play his violin, just like he did when I first saw him." Her smile became serene and faraway. "I wanted him to be happy, and reach his dreams. I wanted to see him share his music with the world."

Coming back to herself, she looked down again. "I guess little me couldn't quite understand all of that, so she just decided to see it as a crush." A rueful chuckle escaped her. "Honestly, I can't blame her. Nobody could ever be mature enough to wrap their head around what it really was at that age."

A small "heh" was my reaction. "I'd say it's still a miracle that you managed to see it before high school. Fourteen-year-old girls aren't exactly known for their insight in matters of the heart."

"Oi," she snipped back in a clipped tone. "I don't wanna hear that bull coming from the girl who's brought Mami home twice now and still hasn't made an honest woman of her yet." Her next action was a savage grin. "For shame, Audrey."

...the fuck?

I gave her a look. "Now where did that come from?"

"The part that can't believe how you haven't realized it yet!" She threw her arms out. "I mean, seriously! I thought you had to be a boy to be that dense!"

My eyes involuntarily widened as they darted off to the side thanks to that last bit, while a shocked "uhh…" slipped out of my mouth. I wisely chose to block it out and instead opted to focus on the general statement after doing a bit of thinking. "You're… not implying that Mami's into me, are you?"

"With how she was gushing about you at lunch today?" The grin had only intensified in the time it had stayed on her face. "I'd be more surprised if she wasn't. I could've even set myself up to make off with an easy thousand yen if Madoka hadn't been smart enough not to take the bet I offered." She smugly tapped the side of her head. "I'll have you know that my gay-dar is top of the line, fresh out of the factory. Nobody, guy or girl, has ever been able to hide from it. Not even Hitomi."

I latched onto the subject change like a lifeline. The fact that it was also out of left field made it that much easier. "Wait, Hitomi? The one you told me was always going on and on about proper relationships and forbidden love and all that crap?" I side-eyed her. "I'm gonna have to call shenanigans on that one, chief."

"Audrey, Audrey, Audrey," Sayaka chided, shaking her head. "People like her only go that far when they're desperate to hide a part of themselves. Don't tell me that you still haven't picked that lesson up from all the stories you've read?" She leaned in close. "Listen - I know Hitomi. When you see her as often as I have for as long as I have, you start picking up on a few things. Like how much she stares at other girls, for one, not to mention the compliments that she hands out like tissue packs."

The grin finally dropped, turning into a frown. "If it hadn't been for how she grew up, I'm positive she would've started dating some lucky woman already, but nope. She just had to have the single most old-fashioned pair of rich parents in the whole freakin' country, and got hit with expectations to match." A distasteful scoff escaped her. "Now she's stuck inside an armored closet about as thick as an army bunker and trying way too hard to convince herself that she actually loves Kyosuke enough to date him." Her head dropped. "It just breaks my heart, knowing that she can do so much better than him, but that she can't see it because she's too busy pretending that side of herself doesn't exist."

It took a moment for her to realize what had just come out of her mouth. "U-uh, I mean, not that I have anything against either of them, but… I can't exactly give 'em the green light if Hitomi's still in denial." She tried to give a smile, but failed spectacularly. "If she wasn't and she still wanted him, I'd say go right ahead, but the way she is now? It's not gonna do either of them any good."

The description was enough to make me suck in a breath through my teeth despite still being occupied with the idea that Hitomi was actually quite likely to be a repressed lesbian. "Oooh. Can't imagine what it's been like to watch that whole mess play out all these years."

"Not fun," the bull admitted. "Not in the least."

An uncomfortable silence descended in the wake of that conversation. I got the hint that this was probably a bit of a sore subject for Sayaka, given how much she'd spilled about her opinion on the whole matter. With that in mind, I figured it would be best if I opted to steer the next topic away from anything that might end up looping back to this one.

Surprisingly, the girl was a step ahead of me, lifting some fingers to her forehead. "Ahh, what am I doing, getting all depressed like this? I've got bigger things to worry about." She turned to me, a smile back on her expression. "While I'm on that, I was thinking about getting back into the swing of things tonight, see if I can't find some unlucky witch to blow off some steam with. Wanna come along?"

"Just gimme a time and I'll be there," I replied. "Your place again, right?"

"Yep."

Glancing at the sky, I noted how it was becoming more and more orange. My phone revealed that it was quite late in the afternoon. "...you don't think I can just hang around until then? 'S not like I have anything better to do."

Her head whipped around to stare at me in momentary shock. "W-what? Uh…" She stopped, letting the gears turn in her noggin. "I guess that'd be fine…? I mean, if you really want to?"

"Y'know, you could've just said 'yes.'" I smirked. "A lot quicker and easier than whatever that was."

She gawked at the snipe, then attempted to fire back, but came up with no ammunition thanks to how she was still on the back foot from what I'd just asked. Folding her arms and puffing her cheeks out, she could only silently fume as I reveled in another victory.

The more things change, the more they stay the same indeed. Heh.

A/N: Turns out, being Sayaka isn't suffering. Who would've guessed?

But anyway, here it is. About 3,000 words of pure, concentrated blue bull, with an additional 2K for context and stuffing in a sighting of the rare and elusive Homu-Homu. And you know what the best part is? There's gonna be more of everyone's favorite paladin in the next chapter. Because I got them plans, baby, oh yeah.

Oh, and there's also a bit more ship-teasing in there too, because y'all can't seem to get enough of the damn things. Of course, whether or not I'll end up cashing in on all of it by the time this is over is another story, but it's still anyone's guess at this point.

...man, no lie, I'm just over here sweating, wondering how many people are gonna scream 'bullshit' at this turn of events. I know there's at least one, because that person may or may not end up confronting Audrey over it at a later date. And even if they don't, you can bet their ass that it's all they'll be thinking about for a while once they find out. But that's a problem for future me.

Sheesh, I'm running out of stuff to put here. Anyway though, I guess I'll see all of you in another two months or something. Or… month and a half. Whatever.

Bye.