With apologies for how long this story is taking to get updated - this year has been a doozy, hasn't it?

Summary: In which Vetra is the excellent galpal we all know she is, and a deal is made.

Being a semi-invalid was annoying. Ryder had made a life out of being curious and exploring, and sitting still was worse punishment for her than getting Shemrys spit on your skin. Nevertheless, taking it easy had its advantages. She could finally build the model of the Normandy that she found from a random vendor on Kadara some time ago. She finally had the time to read those journal indexes everyone insisted on sending her for every mission (to be clear, she wasn't going to, but she had the time if she wanted to). It meant she could put some time aside to tweak her favourite Sidewinder to exactly the calibration she'd always wanted (who didn't love a good calibration?). And last, but certainly not least, she could spend more time on the bridge finding out about points of interest for future exploration.

When she said that exact thing to Vetra in a casual conversation while they were working on their weapons, the Turian glanced up at her and then snickered. It took Ryder a moment to catch up, and then she could feel the blush climbing up her cheeks.

"I meant the galaxy, Vetra. Points of exploration in the galaxy."

"Of course you did. Nevertheless, you would normally have found that hilarious, so clearly it hit a nerve."

Bloody Vetra, so unflappable. Ryder considered a dozen different retorts, and then gave them all up with the realisation that she was just making things worse. With a sigh she adjusted a spring, and then put down the gun. Her body was getting sore from sitting in the same position anyway.

"Does everyone know?"

"About you and Suvi?" Vetra looked up at Ryder for a moment, then continued cleaning her Widow's scope meticulously. "Ryder, we all have eyes."

"There's no me and Suvi. There isn't. Don't look at me like that."

"Fine. There might be no you and Suvi, but there's a you with Suvi, and that's hard to miss."

It was mortifying to think that everyone around her knew something about her that wasn't even a something to know. Was she really acting like a lovesick teenager in front of the crew?

Looking over at her Vetra seemed to sum up the situation correctly, as she usually did. "Hey, Ryder, we've all been there. Don't take my teasing to heart. It's disgustingly sweet to see how you look at her, because I remember the feeling. There was this boy on Minos, Morton... no, Mordin Vakarius, and I thought he was just the best thing ever." Vetra chuckled. "His father was in the THS so they weren't there for long, but for about three months my eyes just about hurt from how hard I was staring."

"Did you ever see him again?"

"No. When my dad left and Sid and I... There wasn't a lot of time left for anything but survival, and I forgot the good things, I guess." Vetra's hands stilled over the scope for a moment. "Hmm. Maybe I should look him up, see what he's up to now."

"Maybe you should. I'm sure we can get some info from Kandros if his father was THS."

"Huh. Yeah. I haven't thought about him in years." Vetra bused herself with the scope again, then looked up at Ryder. "Anyway. The point is, we all know how it feels to look at someone and never want to stop. I guess given the things that have been put on your shoulders I sometimes forgot that you're still young."

Standing up Ryder gritted her teeth against the shooting pain and slowly worked her hip and leg through a few rotations to lessen the ache. "Me too, Vetra. I always thought life would go the same way for me as my friends at the academy – get drunk, do reckless things, have crushes and bad one-night stands, that sort of thing. And don't think I didn't do all of those things at least once... but it seems like someone else's life now. The moment my dad put his helmet on me on Habitat 7 everything changed."

Vetra's hands stayed busy. "Do you ever regret what he did?" She kept her eyes on her Widow, which made it easier for Ryder to respond without turning her words over and over.

"Every day, and it drives me crazy. He did it to save me and he couldn't see another way, right? And he's dead because of it. But I'm alive, and here I am having both the best and worst time of my life. It's..." she sighed, "... confusing."

"I think I understand. Everything I've done in my life I've done for Sid, and even though I do it without question the responsibility can be... " - Vetra's hand hovered over the barrel of the rifle for a moment - "...heavy. So, when I'm on some planet with you, hurtling over a cliff in the Mako and wondering whether you paid off someone at the academy for a license …"

"Hey!"

"... and Drack is making some stupid wisecrack from the back seat, and suddenly everything feels so light … I sometimes can't help but think I'm betraying everything I'm supposed to be."

Ryder nodded. "Yep. And something will go wrong to punish me for not taking everything as seriously as I should all the time."

Vetra laughed softly. "It's ridiculous, isn't it? And yet, here we are waiting for our worlds to implode because we accidentally enjoyed ourselves."

"Inappropriate joy." Ryder snickered, then paused. "Is that the way it's always going to be, though? How do you stop?"

Carefully putting down the Widow, Vetra thought for a moment. "I assume you're asking me because I'm wise, and not just so much older than you."

"Naturally."

"Naturally. And it takes someone as wise as me to say … I've never gotten it right yet."

"Well, that's a minute I'll never get back." Ryder grinned.

"Wisdom sometimes takes a detour," Vetra said, sagely. "Perhaps the answer is to create those moments on purpose, as opposed to landing in them by accident – so to speak – so that we can start getting better at the non-crises parts of life?"

"Hm. It's actually pretty funny, now that I think about it – Scott is still so mad that he wasn't there for dad, and indirectly to be the chosen one, although he'll never say that to me. He's so mad... while dating every hot girl who passes the medbay, even from his sickbed."

"Hot girls from the sickbed are quite the Ryder thing, it seems," Vetra deadpanned, ducking easily as Ryder carefully swiped a hand in her direction.

"I just wonder if it would have been different. If he'd been with my father, I mean, when it happened."

"'If' will drive you crazy, and that I can guarantee. It never does anything useful. Here's the only 'if' you should entertain: If you invite Suvi to a special dinner, can you put aside the weight on your shoulders and your worries about what everyone else thinks and just embrace the moment... and the science officer?"

"You were so sage right up to the last bit, and then you just had to go and ruin it." Ryder eyed Vetra and pursed her lips. "I'll make a deal with you. I'll set up that special dinner if you do something as well. Agreed?"

"I'm not crazy, Ryder. I'm not accepting any deal from you without all of the details."

"I thought you were braver than that, Vetra." This time it was Ryder who had to dodge a swipe. "Fine. The deal is this: I am going to ask Kandros to find Mordin Vakarius, and when he does you have to contact him."

"What if he's married?"

"Then you decide whether you want to catch up or not."

"What if he's on … Korvath?"

"Then we land at dusk."

"... what if he's dead?".

"Then you'll know." When Vetra opened her mouth again Ryder held up a hand to stop her. "Vetra, 'if' will drive you crazy. The only 'If' we're entertaining right now is if the circumstances allow, you're going to meet up with Mordin. That's the deal."

"You're not allowed to use my words against me," Vetra said so sulkily that Ryder was suddenly reminded of Sid. "Fine. But you're doing that dinner with Suvi this week. Before you go back out there."

"Fine. Oh, we're shaking on it?"

"We're shaking on it."

"Fine."