Those three words. Those three little innocent, damning words.

"But I could."

Those three words were all it took to shift the mood. The brief air of levity the post-battle rush of survival had brought about suddenly came crashing down on everyone's shoulders like a ton of bricks.

Madoka bore a face of blank, transparent confusion, having little clue what could have possibly compelled me to blurt out those three words.

Homura, par for the course, was keeping her iconic mask of indifference plastered on. But if I looked closely, I might have been able to spot her eyes narrowing at me.

Sayaka had just started walking away before those three words halted her, and made her turn back towards me with a look that all but screamed 'not this shit again.' "Audrey…"

"And I'm not just saying that this time," I refuted. "I could have actually stopped her from going after you."

The exasperated sigh she gave me indicated she wasn't buying it. "Audrey, come on. I'll admit that the whole secret-keeping biz was kinda slimy, but you can't just go blaming yourself for things you think you could've changed, future sight or no."

"Yeah, but that's the thing!" I couldn't stop myself. "What's the point of having it if I don't do anything with it?"

"You do plenty with it," she pointed out. "We've never been ambushed, and you've gotten us out of the way of more attacks than I can count. I know it sure saved my bacon a couple times."

Anger began bubbling up. "And that's all easy shit I could've done without that power if I wasn't a talentless hack with the intuition of a fucking brick!" I threw out a hand at her. "Look at you! You've been at this for a fraction of the time that I have, and you're already three times the fighter! You took on Kyoko fucking Sakura by yourself when she was actually trying, and not only did you not die, but you made her back off!" My voice was becoming louder, near shouting at this point. "Now look at me! I'm over here lugging around the world's most impractical lightsaber pretending it's not just a stupid hunk of plastic, and crutching my way to victories hollower than Kyubey's promises because I just can't be assed to put my god damn back into it and actually think about how I can change the future properly for one fucking second!"

Sayaka and Madoka both took a step back, bewildered at the first real fervent display of emotion they'd ever seen from me, and clueless as to how to deal with it. It took quite a few moments just for the blueberry to figure out what to say, and longer before she convinced herself that saying it was the right choice. "Where in the world is this all coming from? I thought you were doing great! I mean, you stomped that witch back then—"

Strike one. "That was Mami," I cut in.

She fumbled, but didn't stop. "And then you helped save her—"

Strike two. "That was all Homura."

She refused to give up. "What about when you got Kyoko off my back that one time?"

I don't really know for sure what happened inside me right then. What I can say, though, is that something—something that I'd discovered was under an unbearable amount of pressure a mere half-second prior to this moment—just snapped.

Strike three. You're out.

The words came up like magma, burning my throat and setting my lips aflame. "I doubt that means more than jack shit when I was the one who put her there."

Everything froze.

"...what?"

There was no turning back now.

"You heard me." The hammer was coming down. "I set you up. We made a deal; I'd let her fight you one-on-one, and she wouldn't try to kill us in return." A bitter, solitary chuckle left my lips as I recalled exactly how much she'd honored that agreement. "For all the good that did."

Her mouth worked, but produced no sound. Shock, confusion, sadness, and dashes of betrayal flicked across her expression on a loop, before she managed to get one single word out. "Why?"

"Because I figured that the only way to rip off those rose-tinted specs you had over your eyes was to get someone else to smash the lenses." All bets were off. "I had a feeling you'd never get it if all I did was tell you this was a dead-end job. Since, y'know, it took you this long to realize that Homura was always on our side."

Sayaka winced, but was unable to respond before I bulldozed ahead. "But what the hell kinda person just defaults to painting targets on their friends' backs to solve problems? For god's sake, the thought that it was a bad idea to have your first meeting revolve around assault and battery instead of fuckin'– I dunno, DDR or whatever didn't even hit me until it was already over!"

I heard nothing from anyone, though that was to be expected; I was taking the words right out of their mouths. What could they really say to someone who was rightfully condemning themselves for their misdeeds? That I had the wrong idea about everything? That this was okay? That I didn't deserve what I had coming?

Ha. And Kyubey didn't gaslight people.

"Actually, you know what?" Now here was a thought. "Forget Kyoko—I might as well admit I did Kyubey's job for him! Bloody hell, I didn't even try to pull you aside and tell you about what Soul Gems really were until you already had one! All I did was spout bullshit about how 'ohh, it's dangerous, you could die, make your wish count and have fun being a child soldier!' Fuck!"

For all the time I spent ragging on the bunnycat, belittling it for being a heartless devil, we really weren't all that different in the end. I'd known that since the beginning, but actually feeding the girls the lies, pointing my fingers, telling them what they needed to hear to play the parts I'd crafted for them in this twisted puppet theater production... I couldn't put into words how it had eaten away at me even if I wanted to.

It was hilarious, in a way. I'd spent so much time worrying back then about what would happen if I couldn't push them away from Kyubey's goals, that I'd completely forgotten to consider what would happen or what it would do to me if I actually managed to pull it off.

"All those conversations," I kept going, "all those opportunities to give even a little hint that this was a horrible decision, and I did nothing. All those chances to prove I was better than that white rat, and I didn't even think twice. I just stepped aside and let you sell your soul for a doomed cause with a fucking smile."

My ears picked up a tiny sound from Madoka's direction. "Stop it…"

I dismissed it. "Honestly, it's like the one reason I have a brain in the first place is so I can ignore it and do shit that could only make sense to a vegetable in a mental asylum! Because why bother making sure you could handle knowing the truth about this whole mess when I could just let someone else drop the bomb while I was dead, and wake up to a burning hellscape?"

"Stop it!" That sound again, and louder this time. But not loud enough to be worth noting.

"Oh, and you know what the best part is? None of this will even matter in a few weeks, because we'll all be dead dead! I don't have the first fucking clue how to fight the Witch to End All Witches, and even if I did, it'd take a miracle just to go five minutes against it without someone biting the dust! Everything I've done, everything I will do, is meaningless!"

"STO— eh?" The sound was cut off, shortly replaced by the sound of shoes on concrete.

I was about to continue ranting when I felt a touch on my shoulder. Spinning on my heel brought me face to face with a Homura-brand empty stare.

I opened my mouth, a white-hot quip rising up, then blinked and found myself stumbling backward, quickly losing my balance and toppling to the floor. Echoes of a sharp cracking noise rang out through the surrounding buildings, and I began to register an incredibly sharp stinging sensation on my cheek.

I looked up, and felt an icicle pierce my being as pools of purple bore down on me.

"Are you done?"

It began to occur to me that I might have gone a little overboard with my self-flogging. Just a tiny bit.

The glare Homura held me with probably could've forced a supernova to fizzle out. "I said, are you done? Have you finished wallowing in your own misery?"

The only response I had to offer was gingerly lifting a hand to my face. The stinging sensation had risen to a burn like no other.

"I suppose that will have to do for an answer," she sniffed, stepping close to loom over me. "Now listen well, Audrey Erryn, because I am only going to say this once." Her foot slipped under my chest, rolled me onto my back with an upward flick, then stomped down on my ribs to let the veteran lean in close. "Get. The hell. Over yourself."

Breathing in felt like it took a herculean effort. "I can accept you recognizing that you've made mistakes. I can accept you letting your partners know about your mistakes. I cannot accept you hyperfixating on those mistakes enough to drown out everything else." Each word compounded the burn on my cheek. "It helps nobody. It solves nothing. All it ever does is turn you from what might be a liability to complete dead weight."

I wasn't one to read between the lines much, but even I could tell that there was an 'I know this from intimate personal experience' implication running under that. "So you failed to kill a few witches on your own. So you failed to dissuade Sayaka from making a contract. So you failed to prepare your friends for the truth about Soul Gems. So what? Are you going to believe that these mistakes render you nothing more than a worthless fraud who can't do anything right? That everything you do is doomed to never succeed, so you might as well not try at all?"

My mind said no. My heart said yes. My mouth, caught between the two, couldn't say anything.

"Because if you are, then congratulations for keeping your hold on the privilege to give up." Homura really knew how to hit where it hurt. "You can feel free to lay down right there and just die, knowing that those of us who don't have the luxury to choose for themselves, who refuse to make that choice, will take up your cause and keep fighting." Like her.

She drilled her heel into my ribs once more to drive the message home, then stepped off. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than waste time lecturing you." Her hand darted in and out of a pocket, held up a Grief Seed, and let it fall to the floor next to me. "If you can find it in yourself to discard that self-destructive mindset of yours, then you need only use this seed to cleanse your Soul Gem, and I will accept that as your promise to improve. If you can't…" She turned away, shooting me one last glare over her shoulder. "Don't bother trying to get back up."

And with that, she stormed off, leaving those 10-ton parting words hanging over my head.

Sayaka was tearing at the seams, glancing from me to Homura and back again. It only took a short while for her to numbly shake her head and break away, going after the other girl.

Just like that, Madoka and I were alone.

It felt like I just laid there, down on the concrete for hours. Hours upon hours upon days upon months upon years, doing nothing but stare up at the sky.

It was clear tonight. Little pinpricks of light burned away, thousands and thousands of light-years in the distance. Burning, reacting, and burning some more, until they had nothing left to burn. One day, they would all die out, some in brilliant explosions that scattered stardust to the distant corners in the universe, and others in quiet whimpers that nobody would ever be around to hear.

It was all just so… pointless.

We were born. We lived. We died. What we did while we lived only mattered to anyone else who happened to live. Sometimes not even then. When we drew our last breath, that was it. Everything stopped mattering, because we wouldn't be able to care about it anymore. We couldn't see it, touch it, feel it, or know it was even there. Others could, but it made no difference to us when we died.

There was no reward after the fact for 'doing well' in your life. There was no punishment after the fact for 'doing evil' in your life. There wasn't even an "eh, whatever, go ahead to the next step" for not doing either of those things. All that lied at the end was a cold, dark, all-consuming void. A black hole, from which nothing could escape.

Even if I lived through these next few weeks—if I survived this hellish, soul-crushing death march—what would I do afterwards?

I had a Soul Gem. Soul Gems either broke or turned into Grief Seeds. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. A long life wasn't in the cards for me.

That went for the other girls now, too. Sayaka, Kyoko, Mami. Homura. Making it just to the age of 21 would take miracles stacked on miracles stacked on impossibly bullshit luck.

Whatever kinda seed Walpurgisnacht would or wouldn't drop changed nothing.

What am I going to do?

There was a chance I might not stay here. That I would be going back to my home world, to my old body.

But the scars my experiences had left, the scars they would leave, would last forever. I was going to live with what I'd seen and done here whether I wanted to or not.

Even if I went back to where I 'belonged,' things would never be the same. I wouldn't recover from this. Ever.

What am I even doing now?

Laying flat on the ground, staring at nothing, because I'd been slapped and finally read the riot act for how I'd lived my whole life up to now.

Because I never, ever, ever, EVER changed.

Coming here didn't change me. Becoming a girl didn't change me. Stopping the Bite of '46 didn't change me. Smothering Oktavia in the crib didn't change me. Becoming an unlicensed therapist didn't change me. Getting my ass kicked on several occasions sure as hell didn't change me. Not even making a wish to change the fucking future changed me.

Nothing would change me. I wouldn't let anything change me. If I changed, all the tiny little bits of progress I'd made, coping with this trash fire I called my being, would go down the drain and I'd be right back to disappointing everyone upfront again.

I wouldn't change, because I couldn't change. I couldn't change, because I wouldn't change. Round and round in circles I went, forever eating my own tail.

I lived because I didn't want to die. Because death scared me, terrified me more than anything else. But living would also kill me.

I couldn't win. There was no winning. Not here. Not back home. Not anywhere.

You get nothing. You lose. Good day, sir.

The little white dots began blurring, smearing themselves across my sight. A blob of pink hovered around, unable to decide whether it wanted to stay closer or farther away.

...I'm going to die.

How long had it been since those words echoed in my mind?

How many mistakes had I made since I last thought that?

And why did it feel so true this time?

Cold droplets began sliding down my head–

"Oh, dear."

Eh?

"Sorry, Mami." What. "I know I shouldn't drag you out here after everything, but…"

A blob of yellow stepped into my peripheral vision. "It's okay. What happened?"

Ah.

I should've figured Madoka would call for help.

"...and, well– she sounded a lot like you, I thought. You know, back when we were in that candy witch's labyrinth. So I figured, maybe you could…"

The yellow smear nodded. "Don't worry, I understand. Thank you."

Madoka stepped back, letting the other girl take over. Taking a seat to my right, Mami peered down at my defeated form.

It took her a moment to speak. "Rough day, I see."

Understatement. "Yeah."

"...well, I suppose the better term would be a rough week, wouldn't it? Or rough weeks, dare I say."

Slightly less of an understatement. "Yep."

One of her hands laid itself on my black-sleeved arm. "You were holding that in for a while now, weren't you?"

"Yeah."

"Because you didn't want to burden them."

"...I don't know. Maybe."

"You were afraid. You still are."

For me. "Oh yeah." For them.

Those wobbling golden splotches went shut for a moment.

"No. That's not what you're afraid of." I blinked, and the blurring disappeared. "You're afraid of what will happen if you try."

"Yeah?"

Mami had the look of someone who had a lightbulb slowly flickering on behind their eyes. "You've never had to really try before. Nothing ever forced you to try. Until now."

"...yeah."

The bulb was getting brighter. "You never learned how to try because you never needed to. So when you finally had to, you had no idea how to try, or even how to ask for help."

"Uh-huh."

"And now you're afraid." I could hear the 'click' in her brain from all the way over here. "Of what will happen if you try again."

Teenagers had no right being this insightful. "Yeah. Yeah, I am."

She nodded somberly, and I began to feel something trickle out from the destroyed floodgates again.

"I just… I'm tired." That was it. "Of pretending everything's okay. Of pretending I can be okay. Of pretending that things will work out." When they wouldn't. "I'm tired of lying. To myself, and all of you."

A bitter, exhausted laugh wheezed through my lips. "I can't believe I ever thought I could win this. Me, the idiot who's given up more times than I've taken steps. I'm a fuckin' disgrace to the uniform."

"Audrey…"

"And now I'm gonna die. A world away from home, in a city that won't care, after burning bridges with half the people I could consider friends in my half-assed excuse of a life." Mami winced. "Because some giant witch's gonna laugh at everything I've done as it wipes it all off the face of the planet. Because someone finally had enough of my shit and gave me what I deserved for turning myself into an empty shell of a human being."

My eyes flicked up to the gleaming gem in her hair clip. "Heh, it figures. The contract that was supposed to give me a purpose really just made my body properly reflect my soul. Guess that's irony for you."

The blonde said nothing, wordlessly gazing down from her seat. Eventually, a chuckle that reeked of muted, fond bewilderment left her. "Wow. You weren't kidding when you said it was like looking in a warped funhouse mirror all those days ago. I'm beginning to wonder if we were separated at birth."

I blinked.

What in the hell is she… oh. Oh, damn it.

One of my palms tried to reach my face as the memories crashed in, but it only made it up past my stomach before it ran out of juice. I settled for a weak groan instead. "I really hope you're not about to tell me that 'I can't give up now, or you'll be sad' or something stupid like that. God, why did I think taking that angle on you of all people was a good idea?"

"Oh, come now," she chided. "I'm still here, aren't I? Honestly, it seems to me like you don't give that brain of yours enough credit."

"Yeah, see, that's the thing. It worked, but it was shit." I didn't know what would be worse: this, or if it didn't work at all. "That's not the kind of stuff I should be pulling on you guys. That's being a Kyubey. That is the absolute last thing I want to be."

Mami's eyes narrowed, and her eyebrows rose as she shifted slightly. "Really? What exactly do you think was so bad about what you told me?"

I couldn't tell if she was prompting me for discussion or genuinely clueless. "Well, there's the whole 'attaching your self-worth to the well-being of others' thing, obviously. I'm not sure if you're aware, but telling people that they're the linchpin determining whether someone else lives or dies, or feels happy or depressed is a pretty jerkish way to screw with their long-term mental health."

"Even when it's true?"

"Especially when it's true! All it does is just pile more stress and expectations on someone who doesn't need or deserve it! The last thing someone wants with that weight hanging over their head is to constantly be reminded that it's there!"

"And what happens when reminding them is the right thing to do?" I stopped. "What else are you supposed to tell them, if they've lost sight of their reason to persevere?"

"Well–" Floundering, I searched for a counter that wouldn't immediately come off as petty whining. "You let them know what they're working towards! You don't give them a fail condition right out of the gate, that's demoralizing!"

Her expression suddenly gained an air of melancholic hardness. "So you would rather they forget what they have at risk?" Mami let that hang for a moment, then exhaled before continuing. "Audrey, I know that the image I upheld gave the impression that being a Magical Girl was a much more lighthearted life than what it actually was. But let me remind you: I am a veteran. I have lived this life for years, and though I never discovered the full truth of it before I met you, the things I did see—the things I experienced—over the course of my career did not paint a very bright picture."

That… did make sense. "I try not to think about my early days as a rookie Magical Girl too much for several reasons. I was a young child, bleeding profusely from the fresh wounds the circumstances surrounding my contract had left on me, thrust into a world that freely and constantly took the lives of its residents, with control over ribbons as my only means of defending myself. To say I had an awful time would be coating things with enough sugar to frost a wedding cake three times over."

Simply hearing her say this was enough to know that doing so was ripping open all the stitches that had been holding her together. And yet, all I could do was listen. "I dreaded every single witch I fought. Whenever I stepped into a labyrinth, it wasn't a question of whether or not the witch would drop a Grief Seed, or if I had arrived before it could take too many victims. It was a question of how far I could get before I had to escape, or if I would even make it out at all."

"I stopped counting how many fights I ran from after I reached twenty." A limp ribbon appeared in her hand, clenched in a white-knuckled grip. "My combat prowess was pitiful, and nothing I could think of seemed to change that. I even remember the one labyrinth where the familiars alone were enough to chase me away, and I was forced to trudge back home with a bloody nose, a broken arm, and a shattered spirit, watching helplessly as the people I passed by shambled on into the witch's grasp. To this day, I'm still not quite sure how I managed to survive those first months."

The ribbon faded, dissolving into tiny yellow motes of energy. "And it wasn't just civilians I had to watch die—I've buried more than my fair share of other Magical Girls, too. The first partner I ever had was killed by a witch I failed to stop. The next one met her end at the hands of an unfriendly group who walked in while we were battling a familiar. And I can vividly recall a girl from Tokyo who pushed me too hard after I finally made a name for myself, and became the first and only human victim of Tiro Finale."

Mami looked back at me, commanding my full attention effortlessly. "The life of a Magical Girl is not a happy or easy one, Audrey. Pretending or believing that it is anything other than a miserably bleak battle against the inexhaustible forces of darkness is a privilege to be earned, not a right. Those who make use of that privilege without earning it, or who have simply forgotten that there is more at stake than just their pride deserve to be reminded that this isn't a game, before their careless ignorance leads them to an early grave. And those who have begun to drown under the weight of their sins…"

She lost the energy to keep her gaze locked on mine, and it fell away. "They deserve to be reminded of what they're fighting for. Of who they're fighting for." She found a second wind of courage, however, and leaned in while she laid a hand on my shoulder. "And above all else, they deserve to be reminded that no matter how far they've fallen, they still have everything they need to pull themselves back into the light so long as they have the willingness to do better."

It didn't take long before I failed to resist asking the obvious question. "And if they don't?"

Mami smiled. "That's when people like me come in."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah. I'd be a poor excuse for a Magical Girl if I didn't try my best to spread hope wherever I go, now wouldn't I?"

I stared at her, the woman who had saved me about as many times as I had saved her, who was probably about to save me again, and scoffed. "Is that what this is gonna be? Throwing my own words back at me like I've never heard them all before?"

"Yes," she bluntly answered. "And I'm going to keep throwing them at you until you stop just listening to them and start believing in them."

"You're setting yourself up to fail."

"Am I, now?" An eyebrow raised up at the challenge. "Answer me this, then. How many people have really tried to help you before? How many people did you ask for help? How many people knew you even needed help at all?"

I had nothing to throw at that.

Mami nodded. "I understand if you don't think you can do it. I've been there. Several times now, in fact. But, if you'll pardon me borrowing your own words again, this is non-negotiable. I'm going to help you whether you like it or not."

Her hand reached down, and something about it just seemed to glow. "Now, are you going to keep lying there, or are you going to let me help you?"

I stared at the offering.

She's… serious about this.

My eyes flicked to her gentle smile. A smile I'd watched shatter into a million pieces, put back together in a way that dared the universe to try and break it again. A smile that had gone through that same experience multiple times, and yet still found a way to hold itself together, in spite of everything.

A smile that wouldn't give up on me until I was wearing it for myself.

The next thing I knew, my arms were squeezing Mami like there was no tomorrow, and the waterworks were in full swing, gushing out an entire ocean into her shoulder. She took it all in stride, rubbing circles into my back and encouraging me to keep going.

It hurt, tearing down all those years of foundation. But at the same time, that was also a huge weight that I didn't have to deal with anymore. Now, all I had to do was build it back up again; the right way this time. No more of that 'they don't need to know' nonsense–if they asked, they were getting it. And even if they didn't ask, they'd get it anyway if I needed it. Because I finally knew they'd understand, and empathize, and that made all the difference in the world.

Once again, I found myself losing track of how long I sat there, offloading everything onto the girl holding me close. I think Madoka joined in on the hug-fest at one point, but I'm not entirely sure on that one. Bawling my eyes out didn't exactly do wonders for my spatial awareness.

...okay, yeah, it wasn't anywhere near that over-the-top. Quiet, muted sobs were really all I had to offer on that front. Maybe I'd garnered enough points to score the eye-obscuring shadow that all those stoic anime characters got in their moments of emotional vulnerability, but I wasn't holding my breath. A lot of people would probably call that underwhelming, but honestly? They can go screw themselves. I could feel entitled to a good cry, for once in my life, and I was perfectly fine doing it my way.

Anyway. Carrying on like that eventually had me dump out the last few tears I had, leaving me empty once more. The good kind of empty this time, like when you finally squeeze out that pocket of air you didn't know you swallowed a few hours earlier.

Mami relaxed her grip in turn, and held me up. "Better?"

"Much," I replied with the closest thing my emotionally-exhausted body could get to a real smile.

She smiled back. "Good. Because you still have something else to take care of." Her hand came up, holding a Grief Seed. The same seed that Homura had dropped next to me before she left.

"Right, yeah." Plinking it up, I made the decision to check my corruption level, as I'd eat my jacket if that little crisis hadn't gunked up my gem something fierce. Sure enough, it took a sizable chunk of the seed's capacity to get my soul's shine back, leaving me wiping some invisible sweat off my brow and being very thankful that Madoka had radioed in the big guns before I'd caught myself in a real Grief Spiral.

Another bullet dodged, heh. Only… god-knows-how-many-more to go.

Pocketing the Grief Seed, I turned my attention back to my saviors. "Thanks. Both of you. I mean it. If you hadn't stepped in, I… don't think I ever would've gotten up again."

Madoka silently beamed, while Mami offered a light chuckle. "Much appreciated. But I believe this is more repaying a debt than anything–and it looks like I'm still not done, considering you did this for me twice over."

"I think all those times you stopped something from turning me into chunky salsa more than makes up the difference," I snorted. "But I won't say no to more help."

I figured it was high time I actually stood up, so I did. "Well. I dunno about you, but I've had a pretty long day." It almost felt like I'd aged an entire year in less than 24 hours. "I think it's about time we got some rest."

"I certainly won't argue with that."

"Yeah…" Madoka tried and failed to hold back a yawn. "I think I'm starting to understand Mama's gray hair rants. I could swear I just did a whole month's worth of worrying in one night!"

My lips peeled back, and one hand reached up to mess with my hair. "Hopefully we won't have another incident as bad as this for a while. I mean, you never know with Kyubey around, but I'm pretty sure we've put all the big stuff out on the table already. It's just a matter of handling it all now…"

...no, wait. Not yet. There's still…

Mami immediately took notice of my trailing off. "Audrey?"

I glanced back at them, and thought. Moments later, I was pulling out my phone.

"What are you…?"

"Something I probably should've done a lot earlier," I told Madoka while navigating to the messaging app.

Within thirty seconds, two distinct tones rang out from both of my companions' pockets. Taking out their own phones had them staring at two sentences.

Meet at Mami's after school tomorrow.

It's time I stopped being a Kyubey and came clean.

Predictably, this did little to dispel their confusion.

"Just wait 'till tomorrow," I waved off. "Don't worry, it'll make sense. As much as it can, at least."

That seemed to be enough to get them to accept it. I turned back and was about to start walking when another idea hit me like a freight train.

"Oh, and uh, Mami, while you're here…" She perked up. "Your apartment's got a guest room, right?"

I left her to figure out the implications of my question while I addressed the ping I received right then.

Kyaku: And you think you can order me around again why?

A gasp of sheer joy played the part of background music while I composed a reply.

Mami's cooking.

I couldn't resist the laugh elicited by Mami's sudden glomp-hug and the response I got.

Kyaku: You son of a bitch.

A/N: So, remember that one line of throwaway narration from chapter 2? Y'know, the one about how letting personal feelings interfere with making objectively 'correct' choices would get people killed?

Yeah, turns out that when an everyday teen tries to put that into practice here, they figure out they're not actually a robot pretty damn fast.

Anyway, uh, hi. Yeah, this chapter did kinda take nine months to come out. Oops? I got sidetracked with all the rewrite stuff, posted those first three rewritten chapters on Ao3, scrapped the entirety of this one because I got the idea to make Audrey fall apart in front of everyone ('cause the original version of that scene had everyone acting a bit too rational) and get saved by Mami, got a job, left the job to focus on college, and eeegh. Real life.

Speaking of those rewrites - hopefully, by the time you're done reading this, chapters 1, 2, 3, and 5 (again) will have been updated. Although, considering some of the extra stuff I'm gonna be sticking into the rewrite, it'd probably be a better idea to just put it up as a standalone redo… buuuut rebranding's a pain and I don't wanna have to come up with a clever subtitle advertising the fact that it's a rewrite (and I hate myself). Bottom line, go check out those chapters - they read a hell of a lot better than they used to. I guarantee you'll cringe at least 50% less than you did when you read them the first time!

So… yeah. Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long. Hopefully.

'Til next time.