A/N Thank you for all the comments. I appreciate them and that some of you are enjoying my story.

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Sam spent a long while pacing around the room. She looked out the small window and allowed the white snow and mountain scene to calm her. Everything about it was just so serene.

Sam, not knowing how long she locked herself in the room, started to get concerned about how long she left Jack to fend for himself with Mark. Sam decided it was time to leave her safe haven and look for him.

As she came down the stairs, Mark was just coming out of his room with ski gear.

Mark looked up at her, "Sammie."

He was calm, almost too calm. Puzzled she replied, "Mark."

Mark looked down briefly and then looked at her again, "Sammie, I'm sorry. I…I shouldn't have said those things."

Nodding her head slightly though surprised with his apology she waited for Mark to say more.

Mark's expression softened as he continued, "Look, Jack explained some things. I want to talk with you, but we were getting ready to ski when you arrived. Pete, Laura and the kids are already out there. Can we talk later?"

A little surprised at this revelation, she replied, "Sure," after a moment she added, "Do you know where Jack is?"

Mark turned and Sam followed as they started down the stairs for the first floor. "He's in the den." When they reached the bottom, Mark headed for the door. "We should be back in a few hours."

Sam just nodded.

She continued to the den and noticed Jack sitting in one of the big lounge chairs near the fireplace and Christmas tree. The cabin was beautifully decorated and had a Hallmark quality to it. Maybe the owners got their ideas from them. She scoffed at that. She wasn't really into Hallmark movies, but it was something Janet, Cassie and herself did together around the holidays. The thought made her heart ache.

Sam realized that Jack hadn't moved or even noticed that she had walked in the room. Jack was always aware of her, and she of him if she really thought about it. Jack was staring at the Christmas tree. Not really seeing it by the looks of it. She stood there and watched him wondering what he was thinking about. After a few minutes, his eyes closed and she saw tears falling down his face.

She quietly, but quickly, moved towards him. She contemplated speaking, but if she did, he would make excuses and she would never know what was wrong. So, she decided to make a more physical approach that wouldn't allow for him to escape. Sam moved between his spread legs and gently sat down on his left side. At the same time she laid her right arm across his shoulders while moving her left hand to the right side of his face. She kissed his left cheek on the tear streak marks while her thumb wiped the tears on the other side. That seemed to bring him out of his trance quickly.

He immediately brought the back of his hand up to his chin to wipe the rest. His words were slightly broken, "Um…I didn't realize…" in frustration he smacked his hand down on the arm rest.

Concerned, but Sam wasn't going to let him out of this, "What were you thinking about?"

Exasperated and clearing his throat, "Nothing."

Her hand on his cheek turned his head towards her. He refused to look at her at first but then brought his eyes up, "Jack, tell me what you were thinking about." Then she allowed her hand to drop from his face to find his left hand and entwined their fingers.

Jack closed his eyes in resignation, when he opened his eyes, he looked directly at the tree, and the words came out quietly, "All this made me think of our last Christmas with Charlie," waving his hand at the scene before them. "We went to the cabin that year. I was remembering him crawling around the tree looking at all his presents." He slightly smiled and continued, "He…um…around six or seven, he started figuring out what we got him by just the size and shape of the presents. Sara and I started coming up with ways to conceal his presents after that. Putting small gifts in large boxes with rocks. Things like that," He laughed as he went on, "Charlie just got a kick out of it. I think he was just as excited about what antics we came up with as he was about the gifts themselves." He took a breath in and he looked at her then. The memory obviously bringing joy but the pain was still lurking in his eyes.

Sam smiled back at him, and then coyly said, "Hmmm, I wonder who that sounds like."

Jack smiled back at her mild teasing, "In some ways, but he was more like Sara. Not surprised, he spent more time with her than he..." His voice trailed off. He rubbed his hand on his face. "Sorry, Christmas is just really hard."

She felt sadness for him and her voice reflected that as she replied, "I know. Daniel, Teal'c and I, we knew. It hurt us to see you struggle with it at times." He gave her slight glare. "Jack, we all have struggled with loss. We may not completely understand your particular situation, but we can empathize."

He looked down, but she knew he was still listening. She continued, "It's just when someone you care about hurts, you hurt. My heart aches…I wish I could…"

"I know."

She decided to move on, "Thank you for sharing. I know it's difficult, but when you talk about it I get a glimpse of that little boy in the pictures, of who he was, not just a face."

He nodded slowly in understanding, then he said, "Can we not talk about that anymore?"

She gave an understanding smile, "Sure."

Then she remembered why she wanted to talk to him. Her brother's apology and strange behavior was on her mind. "What did you talk to my brother about?"

Waving his free hand around, Jack stated with a touch of smirk in his voice, "A little of this and a little of that."

She looked down and shook her head.

He gave her a mischievous grin, "I threatened him."

"No you did not!" She said swatting the back of his head lightly, "Fine. Don't tell me."

"Why do you ask?"

"Well for one, he apologized and two, he wants to talk."

Drawing out the words, Jack replied, "So, not typical?"

"No. You have met my Dad. Do I need to explain more?"

"Nope." He said popping the P, "I just told him what an amazing woman you are and he should watch what he says." He smiled and gave her a peck on the lips.

She grinned after the kiss and asked, "That all?"

"I told him a little about myself and our history."

Sam immediately thought to herself, 'Would he tell Mark about Charlie? If he did that would explain his current mood.'

Looking back at him, she asked, "What about our history?"

"Just how we met and how this isn't new or some rebound fling like he thought."

"Okay." She wouldn't interrogate him further. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek and laid her head against his temple, "Thank you, obviously it helped."

His freehand on the armrest waved as he sing-songed, "Yeah, Yeah."

Sam enjoyed the closeness for a few moments. She pulled back before heading into the next complicated subject, even though she knew Jack has probably exceeded his limit.

"What are we going to do about Pete being here?" She saw a flash of anger in Jack's eyes at the mention of Pete's name before he quickly concealed it.

Confused she said slowly, "He was blindsided too."

Sam watched as Jack rubbed his face in frustration, "I know. Mark had good intentions, even if misguided."

Still confused she asked, "Then what's wrong?"

Jack took a deep breath in and sighed, "It's just I found out something the other night…"

"What?"

She watched as Jack grabbed a folded piece of paper off the side table. "I told Mark, and you should know too. Hammond gave this to me last night for fodder in case I needed it." He then gave her a pointed look before continuing, "I didn't know about this."

Sam took the paper that he offered her. She slowly opened it and carefully read what was on the page. Her heart started beating harder as she could feel her skin becoming flush with anger. She let what she saw sink in for a moment.

She looked up at Jack then and she knew that he was sincere that he didn't have knowledge of this prior. Trying to control her anger between her clenched jaw, she growled out, "He ran a background check on me?" It wasn't really a question for Jack to answer, more of a question she said out loud to herself. She knew Jack knew that because he didn't say anything. He had a look of remorse and understanding.

She looked down at the paper again this time focusing on the dates. "This was about the same time he followed us to that op."

"Yep."

"With this, he should have never been read into the program."

She saw another flash of anger cross Jack's face. She knew then that he hadn't agreed with Pete getting read in either. As a matter of fact, she could tell that everything about it angered him. "You fought General Hammond on that, didn't you?"

Jack didn't say anything, she got her answer with the tenseness of his jaw. This was old news and what's done is done.

She looked back down at the paper and realized something else. The timing meant he did this when he left her house angry when she wouldn't reveal her job to him. She brought her hand to her mouth and whispered, "Oh, God!"

Jack looked at her concerned, "What?"

"This was after…after, we umm…for the first time…"

She was interrupted by Jack putting his fingers into his ears and saying, "lalalalala…" to himself.

Sam reached up and grabbed his wrist getting a sense of deja vu. They had done this before. "Jack?"

Emphasizing each word, Jack stated clearly, "I…am…NOT…discussing that!"

"Seriously Jack, you have to know that we had rela…." She stopped suddenly when she saw something on his face and suddenly she understood. Why Jack hadn't made love to her. It wasn't because the guys were in the cabin or that they needed to learn more about each other. Well, maybe a little. This was a barrier, a barrier that Jack couldn't move past just yet. Pete was still standing between them just like Jack kept her from truly loving Pete. She stared at Jack, he looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here and his face was flush.

"Jack, Pete is the reason we haven't taken that final step."

She could see the torment on his face and that he was trying to find the right words to answer her. He finally spoke, "Yeah, for some reason I just can't get past it. It's not you. I really want to give that part of myself to you, but…I was holding out hope for us." His face flushed even more for admitting that to her, "After being married, I realized what that type of act is. It's giving your soul to someone else. It's a joining…not just some act that's meaningless as I once thought as a young man. I guess being married made me a one woman man." He gave her a small grin. "After we admitted our feelings, there was no way I could be with another woman. I can't do casual." He had an air of frustration. She knew why.

She had to ask though, there was one person that didn't fit in what he just said, "What about Kerri?"

He sighed, "I had resigned. You were about to marry another man and it was clear it would never happen and I felt like an idiot for pining."

She shook her head and she grinned at the idea, "Not an idiot, just a hopeful romantic."

"Yeah, right."

She couldn't help herself and blurted out, "So you must have loved Laira." She winced at the name, hoping he didn't see it. He clearly had though by his expression.

"You're jealous of Laira?"

"Well, no. I mean maybe a little."

"We hadn't…"

Sam interrupted him, "When you were stranded, that's when I knew."

"Ah."

"Is that why you were angry with me?"

"I was, but I knew I shouldn't be." She shook her head, "I wasn't supposed to feel that way."

His voice was soft when he asked, "Then what?"

"I felt hurt. You acted like you didn't want to return. After everything I had done to bring you back." She was now getting frustrated because she could feel tears building in her eyes. Thinking to herself, 'This is stupid. It happened so long ago.'

Her voice wobbled when she spoke again. "You ignored and walked away from me when I tried to explain. It was as if you turned your back on me…us. You acted as if we didn't matter to you anymore, like you didn't want SG1? You wanted her."

She watched his face as she angrily wiped at the tears that were now forming. He was studying her with compassion.

Jack calmly began to explain his thoughts, "Do you understand that you and the others may have lost me, but I lost everyone? Daniel, Teal'c, YOU, everyone else at the SGC, Cassie, hell, my entire planet. I worked tirelessly for weeks. I worked days in the field and building houses. Then I spent many evenings digging for that damn gate." Leaning in he brought up his hands and emphasized, "I even made nails. Nails. Not even the Professor was able to make nails!"

Sitting back he continued, "Laira…Laira, she gave me a home. She may have been a tad pushy, but she was also patient. She liked me and over time I grew fond of her also. If Teal'c had been one day earlier, I would have never had slept with her." Waving a single finger, "Just one lousy day. "

Jack continued, "I had decided that I needed to move forward. I really didn't want to, but I couldn't kid myself." He gave her a shy grin, "I got extremely drunk that night. She asked me to give her a child, so I gave in, though she didn't get pregnant. Teal'c confirmed it for me. I knew what that meant to them. So when you guys showed up. I felt like a schmuck for leaving her after what we had done."

It was all making sense now.

With a resigned voice, Jack said, "Sam I just don't want to talk anymore. Can we just sit here and enjoy the fire?"

"Ok," Sam replied before she hesitantly continued, "but you never answered my question about Pete."

"Sam, let's chuck him onto a triple black diamond slope. Maybe he will even make that loud Goofy yell on his way down…" Jack said with a smile. "But I am really hoping he will just go away…"

Rolling her eyes at his comment she giggled into his neck.

She looked at him and saw how exhausted he was. She realized that he just didn't share his feelings because he didn't want to. It was because it took everything out of him to do it. She should have realized even though they shared their love for each other and were getting married soon, there were still some subconscious barriers between them. She should have picked up on that on their drive over. Edora was a big one and she got a glimpse that for every one of the hurts she had, there was a side of the story that she hadn't thought about. Jack wasn't this simple man as she had once thought. He was very complex. His love for her was deep, and quite frankly hers for him was too. With all these barriers of hurt now out in the open, she shivered at what their relationship could become.

After that thought, she looked up and saw a jar on the mantle. She got up and muttered, 'I'll be right back.' She grabbed two items from the jar and walked back to Jack to resume her spot on his lap. As she approached, he grabbed her hips and guided her to the other side. She laughed to herself realizing that she wasn't a small woman and his left leg was probably asleep. He still wanted her close though and she reveled in it. She slightly turned to look at him and with an amused look, handed him one of the items.

With a bright smile, "I think we earned ourselves a candy cane."

She took in the joyous and amused look on his face as he took the treat. Sam watched as he took the cellophane off and laid it on the table beside him. He popped the end of the candy cane in his mouth and scooted his butt further down in the chair wrapping his right arm around her as he guided her to lean on his shoulder.

She snuggled her forehead into his neck, so she could view the fireplace and tree. Now with a candy cane in her mouth, they both enjoyed the rest of the late afternoon in the quietness of the warm cozy cabin and a sweet treat in their mouths.

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A/N The reference of Goofy was from the Disney's short Art of Skiing or anytime he has fallen and yelled.