"Of course I was the mastermind," said Hastings, resigning herself to the inevitable. "And that's why you so desperately want to be just like me."
"You know it," said Odessa. "Hey, what was up with you and Falcon?"
"Nothing," said Hastings a little too fast. She rounded the corner, heading for the girl's bathroom.
"I can see that," said Odessa, following her closely. "I could cut the 'nothing' between you with a knife!"
"Don't ask," said Hastings. "What about you and Sirius? I know you're rivals, but this is ridiculous. A little mayhem is easy enough to perpetrate, but you should realize that it could get us fired if we're caught."
"But we're not going to get caught," said Odessa, "because you're in charge of it. Now, what are we doing in the girl's bathroom?"
"Hey, Moaning Myrtle! Are you here?" called Hastings. She stomped over to all the bathroom stalls, checking each one. "Oi! Myrtle!"
"What do you want?" asked a shrill voice from the farthest stall.
"Oh, there you are," said Hastings. She opened the final door and they saw Myrtle, sitting in the toilet with her chin resting in her hand, her elbow on the seat.
"Well, nice of you to come see me," said Myrtle sarcastically. "I bet you want something from me."
"Why, Myrtle," said Hastings in her sweetest voice. "Can't we come to see you just because we want to be your friend? I can't believe you'd question our motives like that."
Myrtle stared at Hastings, looking incredulous.
"Okay, we do want something," admitted Hastings.
"I knew it!" shouted Myrtle, and slid down the drain.
"It's about… Sirius Potter," said Hastings. Immediately, Myrtle swooshed up out of the toilet, splashing both women with water, giggling in her high-pitched voice.
She finally settled down on one of the sinks, crossing her legs, and asking in a dreamy voice, "What about Mr. Potter?"
"Yeah, what about Mr. Potter?" asked Odessa.
"Shh!" Hastings said to Odessa. "Look, Myrtle. I know you've always had a… soft spot for the Potter men…"
"Who doesn't?" asked the school-girl ghost. "Black hair..." she tightened her braided pig tails. "Glasses!" She pulled hers off and cleaned them on her drenched sweater, then replaced them. "What's not to love?"
"Well," said Hastings, "I happen to know that Sirius has a… er… serious crush on you. He told me that he didn't want to tell you—or ever admit to it—but that if you were to follow him around all day and all night, spending your time with him, telling him… telling him how you felt… he's be grateful… and he'd find some hope in that."
Myrtle seemed to think for a moment, then said, "You'd better not be tricking me!"
"Oh… of course not," said Odessa, catching on. "And he said that he'd like to spend all night talking to you—he said sleep is for the weak. Tosses and turns all night as it is… it's pretty pathetic, actually."
"Well, I just might take you up on that," said Myrtle, looking moony-eyed.
Both women said goodbye to Myrtle and stepped out of the bathroom, trying to hide gales of laughter. "That was brilliant," said Odessa.
"It was one of my finer moments, wasn't it?" asked Hastings. "Now we just have to wait to see what happens when she follows him around all night, not letting him sleep." Giggling, the girls made their way to the garden.
"This is so childish Sirius," Falcon groaned. "What on earth were you thinking?"
"That it's time someone brought Odessa Grace down a few notches. What's going on with you and Hastings?"
"Nothing yet. She doesn't make any sense. I think she just wants to be friends."
"Somehow I doubt that. You need to make a move mate. It may not show, but Hastings has a wild streak. You don't want her to get bored with you."
"No, I don't want that. I'll think of something. If she doesn't hate me after this week. What're you planning anyway?"
"An old, yet effective trick."
"Sirius, this is the Ladies' common room." Falcon stopped short.
"Oh really? I hadn't noticed." Sirius said sarcastically. "It's not like we're not allowed in here. Come on!" Sirius and Falcon went into the room and up the stairs.
"Their doors will be locked," Falcon warned.
"Odessa just happens to be the best pick pocket, thief and the very best at breaking and entering of anyone I know. And when we were dating, she taught me a few tricks. Why she never tried to become an auror is beyond me." Sirius pulled out his wand and muttered a few words. Falcon burst into laughter.
"What is it?"
"Your hair has disappeared." Falcon said, trying to regain his composure.
"Clever spell," Sirius said. "Unfortunately for Odessa, that's an old one." With a tap at the lock, the door opened. Walking in, Sirius pulled a bottle out of his pocket and poured half the contents on her sheet.
"What's that?" Falcon asked.
"A potion for bad luck." Sirius said, walking into Odessa's bathroom.
"But the deal is that no one can get hurt."
"And no one will," Sirius said. "I didn't make it to its full strength and they won't be drinking it. Everyone should be fine. And just for good measure…" Sirius poured a little into Odessa's shampoo.
"Sirius!"
Sirius shrugged, "What? A little extra dose never hurt anyone. Besides, I promise not to put it into your dear Hastings' shampoo. Just on her bed." He put the cork into the potion and headed to Hastings' room.
"You promise that no one will get hurt?" Falcon asked Sirius poured the rest of the potion on Hastings' bed."
Sirius shrugged, "Nope. Odessa's the potion master, not me. But I think it'll be fine." Sirius stepped back and surveyed his work. "After sleeping on these sheets tonight the potion will take effect."
"What if they take a shower?" Falcon asked.
"Doesn't matter. It lasts for 24 hours." Smiling, Sirius walked out of the room.
"What were you doing in my room?" Jumping, Sirius and Falcon turned around to see Professor Vector standing there.
"I'm sorry Professor," Sirius said, "Falcon wanted to leave flowers for Hastings as a surprise, but we realized we forgot the flowers. Good thing too, since we went into the wrong room." Sirius smiled apologetically and almost ran out of the Ladies' area.
"That was a lame excuse," Falcon said. "It's not like I can't conjure flowers from my wand."
"Who cares, it worked." Sirius said.
"Yeah, but you cursed Professor Vector along with Odessa."
"Doesn't matter. Like I said, I diluted the potion. Besides, with Odessa cursed, it'll affect Hastings too. You worry too much my friend. Now come, we must tackle the boy's dormitory." Sirius threw his arm around Falcon's shoulder and headed down the hall.
For the rest of the day, Odessa and Hastings worked with Professor Greene in the Gardens, and Falcon and Sirius had the much more disgusting job of scouring the boys' dormitories. On the upside, halfway through some house elves showed up and completed the job, scolding the two wizards for attempting to do it themselves. "I thought you were on vacation," said Falcon, though he was glad to give up his rubber gloves and magical spot remover to an over-zealous house elf.
"That's where we went, sir," said the house elf. For a whole half-hour Blinin and friends sat in the kitchens doing nothing. We can't stands holidays forever, sir!"
Leaving the boy's dormitory, Sirius said, "Come on, lets wash the stench off. I hope we weren't that foul when we were kids."
They headed to the third floor boys' bathroom, passing Moaning Myrtle's domain.
"Hey, remember our third year when Myrtle declared her undying love for you?" asked Falcon. "Hard, considering she's, well, dead…"
"Don't remind me," said Sirius, glancing at the overflowing pool of water as they passed. "Myrtle, humph. What a waste of proto-pl—"
"Darling!" a shrill voice shouted from the girl's bathroom.
"Looks like she hasn't given up, mate," said Falcon with a sly smile.
Sirius shoved him into the boys' bathroom, muttering, "Shut up, Fal."
They began to scrub their hands and faces when suddenly Myrtle's head came out of the sink drain where Sirius was. "What the—" he said. He backed up, cursing and rubbing his eyes, soap having gotten in them. "Get out of here, Myrtle!" He went to another sink to wash his eyes out.
"I've heard something wonderful about you, Sirius Potter," said Myrtle.
"And what would that be, Myrtle?" asked Falcon, smiling and shaking his dripping curly, blond hair out of his face.
"Shove it," said Sirius, drying his own face with a towel.
"I was told that you're in love with me…"
"WHAT!" Shouted Sirius.
Moaning Myrtle continued, "…and to prove my love for you, I will remain by your side for the next 24 hours."
"Who told you that?" asked Falcon, now laughing.
"Two guesses," said Sirius, inching away from the approaching, smiling Myrtle. "I'm going to kill those women." He grabbed the now hysterical Falcon by the wrist and pulled him out of the bathroom, Myrtle in tow.
"WHEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE," sang Myrtle at the top of her lungs, following Falcon and Sirius.
"Let's get out of here!" Sirius said. Where can we go that Myrtle can't follow us?"
"LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE!"
"I dunno, mate," said Falcon, having recovered from the humor of the situation. "She looks serious."
"THAT'S…."
"I can't listen to this all day," Sirius shouted over the din.
"AMORE!"
Both men turned around and shouted, "SHUT UP, MYRTLE!"
Not hindered for even a second, Myrtle changed her tune, singing, "YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE… MY ONLY."
"She's giving me a bloody headache!" yelled Sirius, as they both ran down the hallway.
"SUNSHINE! YOU MAKE ME HAPPYYYYYYYY…"
"Hogsmeade!" said Falcon. "It's the only place!" They ran up the hallway to the statue of the hunchback witch and threw it aside. "Nice of your dad to teach you about this, mate! Comes in handy even as a teacher!" They dived into the secret tunnel and ran until they got to the trap door at Honey Dukes Sweets Shop. Luckily, due to the nature of Hogwarts, Myrtle was unable to follow them.
"Do you think we should stay here all night?" asked Sirius. "She said that she was going to do it for the next 24 hours."
"Sort of like your little 'bad luck' idea," said Falcon. "Let's go get a room at the Three Broomsticks." They stepped out of the Honey Dukes cellar to find the store nearly empty, but for the clerk behind the counter. Luckily, he seemed to be snoozing. They walked carefully over to the door and opened it, sounding the bell that hung from the lentil.
The clerk woke up, saying, "Bless me, have I been sleeping?"
Falcon said, "Oh, yes, sir… We didn't mean to disturb you…"
"Oh, nothing of the sort," said the clerk. "How may I help you gentlemen?"
Not wanting to be suspected for anything odd, Sirius said, "You know, I have a hankering for sugar quills…" Thirty minutes later, both men had half-emptied their pocket change on sugar quills, licorice wands, ice mice, and Berty Bott's Every Flavor Beans.
Walking down the street, under a bright summer sun, chomping on various pieces of candy, Falcon said, "Well, that was nicely handled. Worth it, though… I miss eating this junk."
"What say you to a Butter Beer now, mate?" asked Sirius. They sauntered on into the Three Broomsticks, which unlike Honey Dukes was packed with people, enjoying drinks at their tables. Sirius and Falcon decided to sit at the bar.
The elderly bar mistress, Madam Rosemerta was drying a mug with a cloth. Seeing them, she said, "Well, I'll be a house elf! Falcon Puddinghaste! It's been, what, ten years? You've certainly grown a bit. Nice to see you too, Sirius, how are you?"
"Well," said Sirius. "How are you doing?"
"Can't complain," said Rosemerta. "What can I get you?"
"Two Butter Beers, please," said Sirius.
"Coming right up. What're you doing back, Falcon? Just visiting yer old stomping grounds?"
"No," said Falcon. "I'm the new Hogwarts nur—… er-Medi-Wizard."
"Oh! Well, I knew you had some sense in you," said Rosemerta. "Though you might prefer to have the kids call you by your first name when term starts…"
"I know," said Falcon with a good-natured laugh. "I've never cared for my last name."
Sirius snorted into his beer, "It sounds like a little old woman's name!"
Rosemerta laughed as Falcon hit him in the arm, "At least I'm recognized for my skills and not just my name!"
"I'd rather have fame and good looks rather than a bad name and substandard skills."
"Well that explains why Odessa thinks your such a cad," Falcon said, waving to Rosmerta as she went to tend to other customers. "Speaking of Odessa, I think we should go back tonight."
"Why on earth would we do that?"
"I know Myrtle'll be a pain, but think what those girls could accomplish while we're gone. It might be better to be there and put up with Myrtle than here without knowing what's going on. You may have made this bet, but I'm determined not to lose."
Sirius nodded, "You're right, we should go back. Do you think I can convince Myrtle I'm not interested?"
Falcon nodded, "You've had enough experience, I think so."
"Well then," Sirius said, setting down his empty bottle, "let's head back."