Chapter 25: Ballast

"You're not working tomorrow, correct? If so, can we go on a trip please? Maybe to Papuchia, or just around the ocean realm? I'll be at the station mid-morning."

That's what Zelda's letter, still tucked into Link's overall pocket, had asked. It'd been a simple enough request, almost typical for them really, which was why he had to question why she'd asked like that; true she'd done it once before, back when they'd first met, but they'd grown closer since then, hadn't they?

He scanned the horizon. Nothing. Well, there were islands, tracks, even the occasional dolphin – but no pirates, and that's what counted.

Zelda was leaning on the train cabin's guard rail now – watching the world as they passed it – perfectly painted smile on her face. But that was the problem, she was just looking. It wasn't obvious, she'd seemed perfectly cheerful, talking to the station master, when he'd picked her up, but there was something just a little…off. Normally she'd be tapping his shoulder every couple of minutes, dragging his attention to some tiny thing she'd noticed, or coming up with whatever topic had taken her fancy since they'd last talked. Now she'd barely said a word since they'd set off. No, thinking about it now, she hadn't even co-opted his 'all aboard' as she usually did.

"Something's bothering you." He said, slowing the train so it could trundle around the small loop of track he'd picked out without his watch, and fully turned to her.

Zelda startled, only slightly, but from her that was practically confirming his thoughts.

"Sorry, I was…thinking." She let out a small laugh. "Spirits, I must be a complete mess if even you've noticed."

"I've seen you covered in mud and, honestly, I don't think you could be a mess if you tried," Link said, "messy definitely, just look at your desk, but not a mess."

She pulled a face at him and her smile looked a little less perfect, a little more real, as he joined her in looking across the water.

"Did you know that it's my birthday in a couple of weeks?" Zelda asked.

"Who doesn't, everyone who isn't talking about it is too busy preparing." He said, thinking about the half-carved wooden block hidden at the back of his work room. But another thought grew in his head, a detail that had slipped his mind. "It's an important one, right?"

She hummed in affirmation. "This year, I'll be turning the same age my Grandmother was when she discovered the kingdom."

Ah, that would explain it. "Is that the problem?" he asked.

"Not…exactly." She said, and clutched the guard rail. "It's all just ridiculous. Captain Russel, the representatives, even Teacher, they all keep insisting that we need to make my celebrations as extravagant as possible, as if there aren't bigger problems going on!" She threw her arm out, gesturing to everything outside the cabin. "But I've seen the reports, our plan for the trains is working, but it's slow; we don't even have two thirds the food we usually do, and it seems winter's starting earlier. I just…I don't know if we'll have enough supplies this year."

He nudged her arm with his elbow. "Hey, don't stress yourself about it. I've been there since we started your plan, we only got four or five trains through each day then, but we nearly double that now!" He said, hoping he sounded encouraging. "Plus, isn't your party supposed to show everyone that things are fine? That we have enough supplies to throw something like that? You know that if it wasn't realistic, no one would be pushing for it."

"But it's as if none of them even care!" Zelda exclaimed. "They're all…centred on their own little worlds; like new recruits, or my studies, or those stupid steel trains!" She kicked the railing, flinching through her fluster. She huffed a few breaths, looking to the water below instead of him.

"That's because they trust you, Zelda." He leaned on the railing so his head was just a little below hers. She looked furious, but at the same time it didn't seem like she'd explode at him. "It's like when Alfonzo's driving; I focus on keeping watch, because I know he'll handle the train, and he does the same for me. In this case, they agree with your plan and are just making sure their parts work, so that you don't need to worry about them."

"That's the problem." She murmured back, fury gone from her face, but replaced by something quieter, yet just as concerning. "Everything we're doing, it's all based on what I thought, Link, my decision, what if…what if I made a mistake?"

He didn't reply at first. How could he, when truthfully he didn't know what the answer was? What he did know, was that he hated seeing her as she was.

"Honestly Zelda…I don't know. I don't think I could, if even you don't. But, I've seen you working, I know from experience that you've spent far too much time reading and thinking about this." He took a moment to mull over his words. "And honestly if, after everything, the worst even you can find is a 'what if', rather than an actual problem, then I don't think you need to worry."

He offered her a smile, and she returned her own. It was a little shaky, but enough for now.

"Can I ask something?" Link asked.

Zelda nodded slowly.

"Don't answer if you don't want to, but what brought this on? You weren't this upset the other day."

She bit her lip, and began shaking her head a little as she thought. "Everything, I guess. It's been on my mind for a while now, but…"

She sighed. "Something similar happened, before either of us were born, when Mother and Father ruled. I've read what they did then, and tried to apply it here…but they were so good at this kind of thing, they always knew what they were doing and I…I..."

Zelda paused and the chug of the train, the rumble of waves, even their breathing, grew loud in the silence, almost hiding her now quiet voice.

"I miss them."

He was a moron.

"Sorry, Zelda, I didn't mean-"

"You didn't know; I shan't blame you for that." She replied, trying to be nonchalant and pulling his arm around her, but hiding her face. She wasn't able to hide a sniffle.

"The three of us used to come here every year, did you know?" Zelda asked, voice shaky - clearly not really wanting an answer. "It was my birthday treat. I always preferred Papuchia in winter, it's too warm any other time of year. Of course Mother hated that, she said Father and I were crazy for enjoying the cold."

What should he do? It was clearly a…sensitive subject, and the last thing he wanted was to have her pull back into herself. Then again, she'd brought it up hadn't she?

"It sounds fun - although she was right, it's only the start of winter and it's already nippy." It was true, even as close to the engine as they were, he could still see a faint mist form from his breath.

She nuzzled into his shoulder and, despite her normally being a little taller than him, he couldn't help but notice how small she seemed.

"Wait you didn't go in the sea did you?" he asked. Zelda didn't meet his gaze, but he saw a faint flush highlighting her small smile. Good, he thought, she's a little better then. "You really are crazy," he muttered, getting a soft, but still satisfying, snicker from her.

"They were supposed to be here, this year, to pass the Spirit Flute down to me." She said, not looking up from his shoulder. "Mother would lead the ceremony; but I was to have my first dance with Father after. They were just as excited for it as I was, maybe more so." She laughed, though seemed more exhausted than happy.

"It's funny really," she continued, "I used to dream about this birthday when I was younger. Mother said it was really important, that I'd nearly be an adult after; I'd get to have some responsibilities such as meetings and entertaining guests, I'd even be allowed to start courting, but-" Her voice cracked, and she took a moment to sniffle again, "But I've had most of those responsibilities, more even, for years and…truthfully I'm not really sure what's supposed to be different about this one now."

"I don't see why it has to be." He said and Zelda's head shot up, a slight but clear look of confusion on her face. He could now see how red her eyes were, how her tears had caused what makeup she had been wearing to run down her face. He rubbed his thumb on her arm and gave her a quick squeeze. "I mean, ignoring everything else, it's your birthday, it can be as extravagant or as normal as you want. If that means a huge ball, then fine, if it just means going to Papuchia, then why not?"

She shook her head. "It isn't that simple. You're right, about the celebrations, we need to do them; they're for the kingdom's, for everyone else's, benefit, not mine."

"That's silly," he spoke without thinking, "you do enough as is, take a break. They'll see everything's fine when they don't starve."

She eyed him sceptically. "Really? That's your plan? Honestly, I don't know why we need the representatives to decide things when we have you."

She was teasing and, while there were still small signs of tears in her eyes, she seemed just a little happier.

"Sorry about this." She added quietly. "You shouldn't have to put up with my complaining."

Now it was his turn to pull a face. "Zelda, you don't have to apologise for that, listening's the least I can do. I asked you in the first place, didn't I?"

Looking into her eyes, it didn't seem like she believed him at first. But soon her expression softened.

"Thank you." She said, tightening their hug and speaking over his shoulder. "Will you come to my celebration? Not as an engineer, but a guest? I'd…I'd like to actually get to see you."

As a guest? That meant he'd be seated in front of everyone, with a handful of strangers, the whole kingdom's eyes on him. His chest tightened at the thought.

"Of course." He said, mentally scoffing at the idea of there ever being any doubt. "If it makes you happy."