AN: Hey everyone. I know it's been awhile since I updated but I was on vacation for a bit and then tragedy struck my family. My cousin, someone I saw as a beloved little sister, has sadly passed away. She'd had issues with being bullied and other problems at school and started getting into the wrong groups. I want to take a moment to tell those who are in a bad place, it gets better. As someone who grew up bullied in school, and who even had suicidal thoughts when I was younger, that's never the way to go, things get better, and to never give up. I want everyone to think about their friends, their family. To go find your best friend and make them laugh, to give your siblings a hug, tell your parents you love them. Never take the people in your life for granted and know that there is always someone out there to support you and help pull you up on your feet.

AN2: I rewrote this chapter after thinking more about the story. The changes are mainly to Percy's weapon usage (having decided to give most hunters both Primary and Secondary weapons…I refuse to confirm or deny any allegations that this is the result of seeing the Magna Mallow Greatsword in Rise)

The Persied: A love betwixt morons

Chapter 4

-Moros-

Reclining back in his La-Z-god chair, Moros popped open a can of beer, eager for the next installment of the Percy Jackson show. Hephaestus was even kind enough to stream it to the camps so they could watch as well. "You gonna share any of that?" Dionysus called over, staring at the can in Moros' hand.

"Dionysus, you are forbidden from drinking, remember?" Zeus tried looking imposing but given his 'teeth' were hot pink dentures covered with glitter sparkles, it didn't work too well.

"Sure," Moros grinned, loving how everyone was ignoring Zeus "I got beer, I got vodka, I got whiskey, I got that old School Greek wine that hasn't gone through the whole hundred parts water for every one-part wine thing to water it down."

"THAT!" Dionysus was near frantic as he took the bottle and started chugging, pausing only to hiss like an angry cat at Zeus when the neutered horn dog tried taking the bottle away.

"Anywho boys and girls, it's time for episode four of our favorite show!" Moros clapped eagerly.

"What would this thing be called anyway?" Leo asked, "The Persied maybe?"

"Ah yes, The Persied: A love Betwixt Morons." Nico nodded sagely, "The most impressive and epic of tales."

"Roll credits." Moros smiled, making a small ding sound appear before ignoring everyone's confusion and turning up the volume as Percy, Lilia, Mel, and Gentor entered a clearing occupied by a bunch of barrels and a tree.

"Welcome to the testing grounds!" Gentor called out proudly as their group entered the large clearing for Hunters and Huntresses to test their weapons in, "We've got a full set of basic iron weapons for Perseus there to test out, let's see what he can do, shall we girls?"

"This is gonna be good." Lilia smirked, twirling about her new insect glaive while her new kinisect got to know the Palicos.

"Most hunters use a couple weapons don't they?" Mel asked as she hopped up onto a ledge, "How are you going to explain that to Perseus?"

"Uuuuuuuuh." Lilia frowned before straightening up with a grin as she brought up a bunch of the iron weapons "Perseus." He looked over at her as she picked up the insect glaive, pointing at herself and gave a couple big thumbs up, then went to the heavy and light bowguns to which she gave less enthusiastic but still positive reactions, and then showed weapons that she gave negative responses too. Gentor helped by showing off a greatsword and then a Switch axe. Thankfully Percy was a lot smarter than he tended to act so he got the gist fairly quickly.

"Great!" Gentor slapped Percy on the back before handing him a greatsword "I saw how strong you are back on the beach so lets try something that takes advantage of that strength."

"What the fuck is that thing?" Annabeth gaped at the ludicrously oversized sword that was bigger than many demigods.

"Language!" Athena scolded her daughter

"English!" the demigod teenager, likely still jaded about the whole 'mark of Athena' quest thing putting up with zero shit.

"This world has people far stronger than the average human. The gravity is different too." Moros explained with a grin "It's what lets so many of those creatures survive getting as big as they are. And trust me, some of the creatures in this world get big. I'm talking making Typhon look like an angry chihuahua big."

"You're kidding…right?" Percy's stepfather, Paul, asked with a worried look.

Moros gave everyone a serious gaze before snapping his fingers as a second screen appeared, the first one pausing "Alright kiddies, let me show you some of the creatures that live in the world Percy landed in. First, meet Ahtal-Ka. She's a tough little buggy-boo but doesn't seem that bad yes?" he showed a scale chart to reflect how big it was compared to a human "So demigods, who here thinks they could take this thing in a fight?" most of the demigods raised their hands "I see. But here's what makes it especially dangerous." A click of the remote switches to a video feed as they see Ahtal-Ka in a desert, the sand bursting as it used its silk threads to raise up and puppeteer a giant mech "THAT is Ahtal-Nesto, a giant fuck off mech that it can create and pilot using just threads and puppeteering skill." Those demigod hands were quickly going down "And it isn't even an elder dragon. Then there are these two, the Black and White gods Akantor and Ukanlos." Moros continued, bringing up video of the giant titans of ice and magma, carving out massive swathes of whatever stood in their way "Once again, not Elder Dragons."

"What does that even mean?" Athena frowned, clearly still not liking having knowledge she didn't already possesses flaunted in her face "You've used the term 'Elder Dragon' a couple times now."

"Elder Dragons are a classification of creature in that world." Moros' expression was still deadly serious, something that was making all the gods squirm "Unlike other Monster Types, which classify monsters by shared traits, Elder Dragons are creatures that typically defy classification and sit outside of the standard ecosystem, they don't necessarily have a superficial resemblance to a dragon either. These monsters are usually rare creatures with immense power that have lived since times, more phenomenon than mere animal. They're walking disasters, roving cataclysms, living forces of nature itself."

"They're gods." Annabeth frowned.

"Essentially." Moros agreed "Such as this one." A click brought up the massive tar covered beast attacking a fortress "This is Gogmazios, the Giant Halberd Dragon. They eat sulfur and gunpowder, secrete hot tar from their body, can fly, smash through defenses, and even breath beams of superheated oil at those in their way." He was showing a group of hunters doing their best to drive one off.

"Or we could go with something smaller but faster." He clicked as the image changed again "This is a Valstrax, the Sky Comet Dragon. It's able to expel raw energy from its wings to move like a rocket. It can go so fast that it can't always see what's in front of it, causing incidents such as this." A video showed of a Valstrax flying through an airship, shattering the structure as hunters and Palicos were scattered plummeting down.

"Or maybe you want raw elemental power." A click brought up a twisting serpentine white monster with glowing blue appendages "Meet Wind Serpent Ibushi, the breath of Ire. Not only is it telepathic and telekinetic, it has power over the wind that's comparable to a hurricane." Those watching were growing pale as they started to grasp just how serious the situation was, why Moros was so vehement about stopping them from entering this world.

"Or, maybe you want something that's big, fast, and powerful?" a click changed the screen to show a massive serpentine monster covered in spikes "THAT, boys and girls, is what's known as a Dalamandur. They hollow out mountains, breathe fire, can summon meteors, and aren't very friendly." He paused as it showed the monster trying to swallow a team of four hunters whole, the mouth showing it still had plenty of room even with four full grown men covered in armor and weapons about to get eaten in one gulp "But most importantly, that one right there? That's a juvenile." You could hear a pin drop in the room…so Moros decided to ease the tension.

"But the monsters aren't all scary. Meet one of my favorites, the Congalala!" the screen showed a big pink monkey dancing around and eating mushrooms.

"I'm not all that worried." One of the demigods, he was pretty sure her name was Clarisse snorted as she watched the dancing monkey "This is Prissy we're talking about! Something as weak as a couple of gods that can't even talk? He can take em easy." The demigods cheered at that, showing a lot of faith in their banished leader.

"I do see why you don't want them here though." Nico nodded, the son of Hades taking the impromptu lesson seriously before he smirked "You think if we offered to feed Zeus to them they'd leave us alone?"

"What did those poor monsters ever do to you?" Annabeth asked with mock horror as Moros restarted the Percy show before Zeus could get uppity. They saw Percy moving through some forms with the giant blade, his demigod strength showing in spades as he swung it around with ease and grace that he doubted many experienced hunters would have been able to pull off.

"I knew it would be a good fit!" Gentor cheered, the field team leader clearly enjoying the shared weapon type "But he needs a good secondary weapon type. How about a hammer to take advantage of that absurd strength?" Gentor handed Percy the massive metal mallet who was able to swing about the bludgeon of destruction easily, a quick test showing the terrifying potential it held as Percy swung at a one of the simple targets, shattering it as shards went flying everywhere.

"Yes!" Lilia cheered while Mel and the Palicos clapped. Percy just started laughing like the eager Gryffindor he was and started smashing more targets…and boulders…and making craters in the ground. "No!" Lilia came over and took the hammer away, shaking her finger at Percy as he tried to get the weapon back, "You clearly can't behave with this, so I say no." Percy attempted to use the puppy eyes maneuver to no effect.

"You guys are mean." Percy sulked as the hammers were all locked away, even if those around him didn't understand what he said.

"She can resist puppy eyes Percy." Annabeth whispered in awe as the demigods watched, "Nobody with a heart has been able to resist before."

"She is the chosen one." Grover added while Percy's parents and stepparents all nodded in approval.

"Okay, maybe some range would work." Gentor suggested, the man rummaging through the trunk of weapons while Percy is sulking even as Lilia pokes his cheeks and tries to make him crack, "So Perseus, I want you to try this bow."

"NO!" the demigods all panic horrified. A sentiment Percy clearly agreed with given his frantic head shaking and hand waving, complete with wide eyed terror.

"Oh, come on Percy," Lilia smiled "how bad could it be. For me, please?" even though he didn't understand her words the intent was clear and like many guys when a pretty girl asks him something, he folds. Taking the bow, Percy drew the arrow back before letting it fire. The arrow missed the target, going far to the right instead of straight where it bounced off a rock, then a tree, then a wing drake which squawked and fell from the sky, shooting towards the hunters who all threw themselves to the ground to dodge the projectile which then flew over their horizon and then out of the screen they all watched through, straight into the throne room of Olympus where it began bouncing around till Moros reached out to catch it.

"…How in the seven levels of fuck?" the god of Doom gaped at the arrow, Percy's aim having somehow been so bad he shot between dimensions.

"We don't let Percy shoot for a reason." The demigods inform him seriously, "The only time he ever hit his target was when Hera was literally controlling the arrow for him.

"Okay, well he did try to warn us." A still shaken Lilia gulps as the Palicos are hiding behind Mel who's hiding behind Gentor, "Maybe something…safer? Hunting horn!" she handed the weaponized instrument to Percy who picked it up and tested it for a moment. Then he began to play, beautiful music pouring forth. Even just by watching through dimensions, Moros felt centuries of stress lift as he got lost in the enchanting melody. Many demigods had a talent for at least some of the arts and it looked like aqua lad was no exception. Eventually, Percy's song ended as everyone came down from the blissful euphoria they were in, the hunters realizing that he wasa little too good, especially as they were too distracted to even receive buffs from the song.

"Another no." Gentor sighed, "At least for hunts."

"Noooooo!" Apollo whined, falling to his knees by the screen, "Music Percy! I demand music Percy! This show is bullshit! OW!" the man's bitching cut off by a thrown tankard, Momma Jackson suspiciously missing one now as she whistled innocently.

"Maybe he can use an insect glaive like me." Lilia smiled eagerly at the thought as she brought out the weapon for Percy, even demonstrating how it was used so he knew it was more than just a spear.

"Boing?" Percy tilted his head as he tested the weapon, swinging it easily as an excited smile appeared on his face, "Boing!" running, Percy used the weapon to spring into the sky…way into the sky, "Too much boing!" Percy panicked as he tried to control his flight, the glaive pinballing him around the air, occasionally launching him back up when he got too close to the ground like a pogo stick from hell. "Too much boing! Help!" even if the hunters couldn't understand him his panic was rather obvious.

"I'm coming Perseus!" Lilia freaked out, using her own glaive to shoot up and try and get him while her bug was laughing its thorax off. It took several tries before she was able to tackle Percy around the waist as they fell to the ground, their glaives clattering to the ground. "Hey." Lilia chuckled, blowing some hair out of her face as Percy lay atop her, "Come here often?" he scrambled off, face glowing cherry red and stammering apologies.

Thud "Ow." Thud "Ow." Thud "Ow." Gentor punctuated each impact of his head against a log with a dry annoyed description of how he feels, the hunters growing frustrated at each failure on finding a secondary weapon for Percy.

"I guess he could stick to just one weapon." Mel frowned, not liking the idea as most skilled hunters had multiple skillsets they could make use of.

"Well, he could always do what the admiral does and rip out the nearest tree or boulder to just beat the monster with it." Gentor grumbled, "Then again gramps would get pissed at all the environmental damage for that idea."

"He did do good with hammers?" Lilia winces weakly.

"That'll cause even more collateral damage." Gentor deadpans at the albino declarer of dibs.

"Um…guys." Mel spoke up awkwardly, "Perseus rummaged through the chest and is about to try a gun lance."

"WHAT?!" the two actual hunters and saw Percy giving test thrusts, testing the weight and grinning as it felt balanced for him. Then he fired the gun potion and wasn't blown back like every other hunter who used the weapon would have been.

"…Seriously?" Gentor growled out, eye twitching "We just had to let him pick?!"

"…At least we found one he can use?" Lilia offered weakly.

"Fine!" Gentor threw his hands up, "If he causes any collateral with that thing, I'm blaming you, if anyone needs me, I'm going to the canteen!"

"Be sure to let chef kitty know what weapons Percy chose." Mel piped in, "He wanted to know since Percy is his favorite." Behind her, Percy was using the Wyvern's fire without moving back and clearly loving it.

"I don't get paid enough for this shit."