The Shortest Short Stories Ever: Harry Potter Bloopers
By Spectra16 (IS GOING TO HARRY AND THE POTTERS/DRACO AND THE MALFOYS CONCERT! OMG! SQUEE! WHAT WILL I DO WITH MY LIFE AFTER THAT!)
A/N: As you may have already gathered, I'm going to a Harry and the Potters concert in my capital city! I'm so stoked! I ordered a Slytherin jacket on ebay and I bought a Dark Mark wristband at Hot Topic (Hot Topic is not punk rawk!). Honestly, Draco and the Malfoys are better music-wise. Their lyrics are a little better too. They have 100 more guitar and drum solos. I'm going to take video of it on my camera. If you want to see it, tell me. I'll email it to you after July 10th.
Disclaimer: The reason for my story is that I got an idea for this chapter from a Draco and the Malfoys song. You'll know what song it is from the title. And I don't own Harry Potter. Ner. I also do not own a reference to the fan fiction "Artemis Fowl and the School of Psychos", which is an AF/HP crossover that kicks your crossover's ass.
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Chapter Four: In Which I Kick Harry Potter In the Face
The Hogwarts Express came to a slow, dragging stop. Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy walked with their bags from their compartment 3E. Draco waited with a petrified Harry, under his invisibility cloak. According to the original published copy of Half-blood Prince, Draco was to laugh, mock Potter, and then swiftly kick him in the face. This was what was written. But unfortunately, Hermione was not there to let everyone know that what was about to happen was not written in the original script of their lives.
Draco smirked and walked over to where Harry's body was.
"I wish I could see the look on your face!" Draco spoke triumphantly and started stomping on Harry's face, instead of just kicking him once. He laughed diabolically while he stomped on Harry's face. It went a little something like this.
"MUHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHA! MUHAHA! MUAHAHA! ZWAHAHAHAHA! EHEHEHEHEHE! I AM GOD! LIFE IS SO PERFECT! REVENGE! SO FRIGGIN' SWEET! AHAHAHAHA! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Draco paused to cough and catch his breath. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Eh, it's not funny anymore."
Draco walked out and left Harry as a bloody pulp.
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Remus Lupin magically found Harry under his invisibility cloak (since this sort of thing happened to James when they were young) and pulled it off. Remus backed away.
"Oh man! Your face looks like someone took a baby and put it in a blender and set it on puree!" Lupin laughed. Harry would've pouted if he could move his face.