Okay this would have been up last night but somebody (me, Katy) had to get sick. Sorry. Anyways, after the demand from one of Rachel's friends, we bring to you the newest chapter to Twilight. We disclaim (not that we'd ever want to own a nasty whore named Assley anyways). Enjoy!
"I'm going to kill that bastard!" Trish screamed once the girls walked back on the tour bus. The blonde was looking at her white outfit that had a stain of red on it.
"Well Trish I don't think he bled on you to get you mad," Lilian said, untying her boots.
"Yeah, most of the people we fight don't run into our hands and feet." Stephanie walked past her and sat on the couch.
"This was my brand new Gucci jumper! I can't believe that little bitch had the audacity to bleed on me!" Furious, she walked on the bus, shoving past Eric.
"So did you ladies have a good mission?" Eric asked nervously glancing at the furious blonde trying to wipe the blood off of her suit. Lilian rolled her green eyes.
"Well we did catch the dudes that stole the diamond, if you consider that good," She shot Trish an annoyed glance, "We had to listen to her bitch and moan all the way home."
"Hey! It's not my fault that dumbass Snitsky bled on me!" she yelled. Amy stepped onto the bus and moved so she was standing in between the two glaring blondes.
"Listen," she said with a tired sigh, "We're all tired from a long day. Why don't you both go to sleep and shut the fuck up?"
Lilian sat back immediately. She pulled off her boots as quietly as possible. Melina came and sat down next to her. "Talk about a group of PMS ridden bitches," she whispered to the Latina, making her laugh.
"And what is your problem?" Amy snapped. "I believe you were the one that pitched a bitch fit because Masters broke your nail."
Stephanie stood up, stopping them. "Sit down and stop it. Eric, take us home." She turned on her heels and took a seat towards the back of the bus.
Amy rolled her eyes dramatically and moved into her room she shared with Trish while on the road. After getting changed she decided to leave the laying blonde alone and walked back out to see Eric talking to the other girls.
"What's going on?" she asked curiously.
"We think Trish needs anger management," Melina whispered. Lilian slapped the bassist in the back of the head lightly.
"We're talking about what's going to happen in the next few weeks," Lilian explained.
"What's going to happen with what?" she asked, still confused.
"Ashley," Eric stated.
"Oh!" Amy said, smiling. "Alright, I got ya."
"Shouldn't we include Trish on this though," Stephanie said in a low voice.
"We could, but I don't know what's wrong with her and I'm not going to be the one to go get her." Eric ran a hand through his black hair and looked at each of the girls.
"I think she misses Randy," Melina piped up after a few moments. When they gave her all confused looks, she continued, "She told me that he's making a new movie and hasn't called her in a week."
"So why doesn't she call him?" Lilian tried to reason. Melina sighed.
"He never has his phone on," she lowered her voice, "Stupid movie prick."
"Well maybe you should go get her up, Ames," Stephanie pointed to Amy, "You wake her up every other morning and she seems okay when she comes out of bed."
"Yeah, after she's had a good fucking from Orton. I'm not that stupid, this hair dye hasn't turned my brain to mush yet." She crossed her arms and sat back.
"I'll do it," Lilian offered. She stood up and took a deep breath. "If I'm not back in three minutes, she's killed me and you should tell Chris I…I'll be back." She walked quickly over to the doorway where Trish was. She bit her lip and stepped inside.
"I'll be out in a minute," Trish huffed.
"Okay, we were just talking about Assley. We didn't want you to miss out."
"Well I need to get out there then," Trish pulled the blanket off the bed with her, "A good Assley bashing makes me feel loads better."
This made the Latina laugh. Trish loved to make fun of people along with Melina. They were always cracking jokes about Eric behind his back. Trish sat beside Amy on the couch and looked around.
"So why are we talking about the whore tonight?" Trish questioned.
"Eric has something to tell us," Melina said setting down after grabbing a handful of jelly beans from a dish that was sitting on the counter.
"I got a message from Shane," he confirmed.
"Okay, so what's up?" Trish asked again.
"We've got good reason to believe that Ashley and her two meat heads are working on a plan to kidnap one, or more, of you five. Shane didn't say much. He just told me to alert you girls. He doesn't want you traveling alone. If one of you needs to go to the mall, then all of you have to go. You cannot be left solo, at any time. Is this clear?"
"We always go to the mall together, though," Stephanie pointed out. Trish shook her head quickly.
"I remember one time you guys left me and Ames here all by our lonesome to be bored," Trish said. Amy nodded.
"But what about Stephanie going with that Hunter dude? And what about the date thing one of us has to go on?" Melina asked after Trish and Amy stopped complaining, "And… How stupid is she? I mean, trying to kidnap one of us? That's nearly impossible."
"Seriously! Look at us! We're bad ass rocker chicks. She shouldn't even attempt it," Amy laughed.
"The date will be fine, both dates. Shane's working on getting some undercover body guards for you Steph and whichever one of you is going on the date. They'll be waiters or something to that effect," Eric assured.
Lilian bit her lip, looking worried. "What's her motive?"
"Apparently she's still pissed for sounding like Pee Wee Herman on steroids," Stephanie said, stealing a jelly bean from Melina.
"That's the only reason Shane and I could come up with," Eric said.
"Well who's the most likely candidate to getting 'napped?" Amy questioned curiously. Eric turned his attention to the fiery redhead who was munching on some Skittles.
"We're not too sure, but Shane is thinking it may be either Lilian or Trish because she wanted both the guitarist and vocalist position in the band," Eric explained slowly. He looked from Lilian to Trish who looked as calm as ever.
"Pssh, she can't get me," Lilian grinned at Trish, "We're too damn tough for her skank ass."
Everyone turned to stare at the Latina. "No more BET guys, no more of that for her," Amy said, shaking her head.
Lilian frowned. "You guys are just jealous because I'm more gangsta than all of you combined." Lilian looked at each of them, flashing 'gang signs'.
The other four girls exchanged looks before bursting out laughing. "Good one, Lil," Melina giggled out.
"Yeah, seriously, you may have a Puerto Rican temper but I don't see you surviving more than five minutes in the Bronx," the drummer pointed out.
"Ladies, ladies, we don't need another bet between you all," Eric interrupted before Trish could open her loud mouth, "Remember what happened last time? Amy almost killed herself sky diving."
"I had fun doing it, though!" Amy exclaimed. Stephanie rolled her eyes.
"You didn't open your parachute right, dumbass," the brunette scolded. Amy narrowed her eyes at Steph but turned back to Eric.
"Is that all?" Melina asked Eric.
"Yep, you girls be safe now, okay? I don't want to be the one telling Shane one of you is strung up by your toes on Ashley's fireplace mantle." He grinned and then left the girls alone.
"What a nasty bitch," Lilian muttered.
Stephanie's jaw dropped. "Did you just say the bitch word! Holy shit! Someone write this down!"
Trish and Amy stared at her. "Our little girl is growing up so fast!" They both hugged each other, making exaggerated sobbing sounds.
"Wait until we tell Jericho," Melina said grinning. "He'll think it's hot!"
"Shut up," Lilian shouted, "I say it all the time. Look: Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch!"
There were collective gasps among the four other divas. They all hugged one another in a huge group hug then stared at Lilian. The blonde left by herself looked from one friend to another with her eyebrows furrowed.
"It's not a big deal. Trish says it all the time," Lilian said slowly. They said nothing but stared. Lilian growled deep in her throat and Stephanie finally spoke.
"Trish has a dirty mouth. Orton taught her to speak that way," she teased.
"That's 'cause Randy's a dirty little boy," the blonde Canadian said with a huge grin.
"Egh. Don't." Melina started to point her finger down her throat like she was gagging.
"Yeah, we've heard enough about you and Randy," Amy said. "I'm still not sure how you two got in that one position when I accidentally walked in your bedroom that one night." She shook her head as if that would get rid of the images.
Stephanie crinkled up her face. "This is why I stay single."
"You stay single because you can't get laid." Melina raised her eyebrows and smiled innocently. "What? It's true."
"I stay single because I don't want to waste my time on a guy that only wants sex," Stephanie snapped. Trish's mouth fell open along with Amy's.
"Randy doesn't want just SEX!" Trish exclaimed. Amy pointed a finger at Stephanie who stared defiantly at her.
"You know Adam doesn't want me for just sex. He proved that when he proposed to me in front of MILLIONS of people," Amy huffed. Stephanie just shrugged.
"I'm not saying those two just want sex. I don't want to be in a relationship based solely on fucking someone."
"Amen to that!" Melina and Stephanie high-fived one another.
"Aw, c'mon Lil, join in on the fucking fun," Trish said, wrapping an arm around her friend.
Lilian turned a bright shade of pink. "I think I'm going to go change…"
"And she was so bold earlier," Amy said with a sigh. "One of these days Lilian, we're going to catch you in a wild sex act with Jerky."
Her eyes grew wide. "I wouldn't…there's nothing going on between us!"
"Yeah, and I'm a virgin." Trish laughed and shook her head. "We'll set you two up one of these days."
"Hey," Melina said, understanding the look Lilian was giving her, "what do you guys think of this Asslut situation?"
"She won't be able to snatch me or Trish because we're all always together," Lilian said confidently. Trish nodded in agreement.
"Besides, we're too tough to let her take one of us," Steph smirked. Lilian let out a deep sigh.
"I'm just worried that she may go after someone we care about…" The vocalist wrung her hands nervously. Trish leaned against Melina and yawned.
"Randy's too strong for those meat heads to take," a grin played at the corners of her mouth. Melina rolled her eyes and popped another jelly bean into her mouth.
"Besides Lil, who are you worried about?" Steph prodded.
"Nobody, I was just saying." She stood up and walked towards another room on the bus. "I'll see you guys in the morning. Goodnight." She smiled at them and then shut the door behind her.
"I give her six minutes before she's giggling on the phone with Jericho." Amy slapped down a 10 dollar bill.
"Pssh, I give her two." Melina put down a 10 of her own.
"Well I say someone goes and sees right now," Stephanie whispered. Amy hopped up from the couch and moved stealthily to the door. She pressed her ear to it and smirked.
"She didn't even make it passed two minutes!" Amy said as she sat down again. They all looked to Trish who was leaning against Melina with her eyes closed.
"She asleep?" Stephanie asked. Melina poked Trish in the face. Trish mumbled something then slapped Melina hard in the face.
"I'm not asleep dumbasses," She snapped. Melina held her cheek and muttered 'ow'.
"Well it's around two and we have a big day ahead of us so… I'm going to go and try to get some sleep if Lilian will shut up," Stephanie stood and stretched, leaving the three to sit in the living area. Trish looked around, bored.
"Wanna watch a movie?" she asked as she turned on the TV. She, Melina, and Amy huddled on the couch as they turned the channel to HBO and began to watch The Ring.