Always

Chapter 14

xXx

I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to do, after that. Axel was never angry with me like this and I didn't like it. I watched him pick up the weapons on the shop's floor and straighten himself before he glanced at me. I felt like he was being distant. It was an awful feeling.

"We shouldn't be talking about this here," he told me. "The last thing I want to do is involve the media." I nodded. He was absolutely right.

"Where do you want to talk about it?" I asked quietly. Our eyes met.

"Home," he said. I nodded, surprised when he gestured for me to follow him. I hadn't thought he'd want me to come home with him… not yet anyway. Not before he'd forgiven me. I trailed behind him, my heart aching a little. The bell chimed when he opened the door and I thanked him when held it open for me. I froze when I saw Demyx and Xaldin waiting outside. "Demyx, Xaldin," he acknowledged them, pressing his lips together and handing them their respective weapons. "You didn't have to stay. Thank you."

"Boss is everything okay?" Demyx asked, worry written all over his face. Axel glanced back at me, noticing that I'd trailed behind. He slipped his hand into mine, encouragingly. I went to his side.

"Not a word about it, Dem," he warned the blond. Demyx's face flushed and he nodded.

"We're concerned, Axel," Xaldin protested. Axel glanced at him.

"Thank you, I know." With a sigh, he continued. "Walk with us," he told them. Without hesitation, they did, Xaldin beside me, Demyx beside Axel. "Larxene has made herself a threat and I don't know what her motives are. The first thing I want," he instructed, as there was nobody else around, "is to up security. Xaldin, I want you close again, Demyx, I want you, I want Zexion, I want Tifa, however many of you it takes, to look after Roxas when I'm not around. This will not happen again." He looked down at me. "You are to do as they say, you are to do as I say, until this is resolved." I nodded disliking this already. "I want Cloud and Leon watching out for my mother and her family, just in case, and I want to know every move that Larxene makes."

"May I ask, what happened?" Xaldin asked.

"Roxas and I will be discussing that shortly. I will make my next decision after that."

xXx

When we got home, I sat down on the couch numbly, watching Axel for a moment before looking away. Xaldin and Demyx were still downstairs, making some calls and waiting for instructions. I closed my eyes when he sat beside me, hating how limited I felt. "What now, Axel?" He was quiet for a long time before our eyes finally met again. I couldn't read the expression on his face.

"I would like to know what happened," he said quietly. I hesitated for a moment.

"You were right," I told him. Axel looked puzzled. "That girl that we fought about, the one I wanted to be friends with, she was Larxene's cousin." Axel didn't look like he knew what to say.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. I bit my lower lip.

"Larxene paid her to befriend me, to watch me. She's been watching me since Sora and Riku's wedding. She was the photographer that took our picture," I explained. "I saw her again and met her brother at the party that you and Olette threw for me. I thought that you might have known her, that's why I didn't suspect anything when they invited me to their shop to meet their cousin. I'd been there before and didn't plan on being gone long. That's why I didn't wake you up and tell you where I went." Axel nodded slowly. "I didn't plan on the people who I thought were my friends to be working for her. You were right, it won't happen again," I promised before hesitating. "Why am I so careless, Axel?"

"I don't think you're careless…" He said before pausing. "Roxas, I think that you want to find your own way and I think that you just don't know what people are like. You aren't aware of hidden dangers. Some of that is from your past, but it's my fault too for trying to keep you safe and on top of it, you lost your memory recently." He grasped my hands. "I try really hard to protect you." I opened my mouth, thinking about it.

"Sometimes I wish that… that things were different," I said quietly. "Sometimes I wish that we could go somewhere far away and nobody would bother either of us." Axel looked sad.

"I'm sorry, Roxas. I don't know if I can do that." I gave him a sad smile.

"Don't worry, it isn't your fault." Axel nodded, looking like he wanted to say something, but changed his mind.

"What… what did she do to you?"

"She tried to make it look like I left you, I don't know how, but she had my suitcase packed to make you think that I left," I told him. Axel nodded, his eyebrows furrowing.

"That's concerning…" He said with a frown. "I noticed that it was missing. That's why I was so glad when I got that call," he said.

"I could tell," I said, smiling a little. I paused for a moment before resuming. "She taunted me mostly, trying to figure out how to tear me down and playing her game with me, the one where she shoots her gun in my face. She said we'd play it every day that you didn't give up on me… but really, she just wanted to play with me before she killed me. I found that out when I demanded to know why she was convinced that I was a whore. She shoved her gun in my mouth and said I'd begged for her brother. She wasn't wrong. That's how I figured out that Seifer was her brother. She was ready to kill me then …but she let me tell her what happened." Axel squeezed my hand.

"Are you okay?" he asked me. I bit my lower lip hard.

"I deserved it, Axel, I'm the reason he's dead." I replied.

"No you didn't! You're not…," Axel told me, closing his eyes for a moment, trying to get me to understand. Looking into my eyes, he urged me to listen to him. "He bought you, he did those things to you, he-"

"My father told him that I requested him," I explained. "If I hadn't asked for somebody else, he'd be alive."

"Your father sold you for drugs. No father should ever do that! Those men that raped you, they're at fault too. You are not. None of those bad things were your fault, not even what Larxene did," he told me.

"But she's still right! Even if I didn't do it on purpose, I'm the reason he died!" Axel squeezed my hand.

"Sweetheart," he murmured softly, making me look at him, "you were the victim, you didn't hurt anybody, they hurt you. I don't like it at all that Larxene made you feel this way. It isn't your fault."

"Axel, he died because of me, I hurt his family because they thought I did it on purpose. That's the only reason why they hated me…"

"I don't know that for sure, Roxas," he told me. "Why did she let you go? You said that she believed you. Why didn't she have you call me then? Why did she let me know that she was involved instead of trusting you not to say anything? How do you know that she isn't manipulating you? She knew that I wasn't going to talk to you about this. She knew that I was going to go after her and you were going to try to stop me."

"Of course she knew I was going to try to stop you, I told her I was going to! I told her that I wanted to make amends… I told her that if she was willing to try then so was I. That's part of why she let me go. She told me not to feel too badly if I couldn't change your mind!" Axel shook his head.

"And that's why you were willing to do whatever you could, to get my attention, because of the things she said. Roxas, I'm just not convinced," he told me. "I'm sorry." I stared at him feeling my stomach drop.

"You're going to kill her, aren't you?" Axel frowned.

"If I do something you don't like, are you going to leave?" he said in a way that let me know that I really hurt him by saying that. I bowed my head.

"I was trying to get you to listen to me before you hurt anybody, I'm sorry…" I murmured. Axel raised my chin.

"Are you going to leave me?" he asked again. My eyes welled up and I knew the answer.

"Axel… I couldn't ever do that," I whispered. Axel's gaze became much gentler.

"Roxas," he said, taking my hands again, "I don't want to fight about things like this… I don't want to feel like your loyalties lie elsewhere." My eyes widened. "I need you to respect my decisions."

"I'm not taking her side, Axel, but I need you to understand that I have blame in this," I told him. Axel didn't say anything for a long time. He pressed his forehead to mine.

"Okay, Roxas, I understand," he said tiredly, his fingers threading through mine, playing with them. "Let's stop fighting and talk about something else."

"Like what?" I murmured back.

"Like, I'm glad that you're home, that you're safe," he said softly, making my heart flutter.

"Me too," I whispered. Axel smiled, kissing my forehead. "I wasn't sure that… that you wanted me to come home, earlier."

"I did lose my temper, didn't I?" I nodded. "Sorry, I should have heard you out, first," he said softly. I pulled back a little, looking him in the eye.

"It's okay, I know why, you don't have to apologize. You weren't wrong to get upset with me." Axel was quiet for a moment.

"Roxas, don't ever feel like you can't come home. No matter what, you can always be here. I really am sorry." I smiled a little.

"Thank you, Axel." He watched me for a moment or two, his fingers trailing along my skin.

"You look tired," he murmured I nodded.

"I was tied to a chair, worrying about getting shot. Sleep wasn't a priority." Axel looked horrified. Before I could feel bad about it, he was hugging me close. "What are you going to do?" I murmured. Axel shook his head.

"I don't think I'm going to let you out of my sight, not for a while. Roxas, I was so scared when you were missing and now, I just feel worried. I want you to be safe. I need you to be safe."

"I'm sorry, Axel. I won't be careless again," I promised. Axel pulled me to himself and I let him hold me.

"I think that you should stay here for a few days," he said gently.

"What about Aqua, Terra, Ven-?" Axel rested his chin on top of my head.

"If you're up to it, they can come here but we can tell them that you need a little break, if you want that too." I nodded, biting my lower lip.

"I'll let you know tomorrow." Axel nodded.

"Okay."

xXx

TBC

A/N: Thoughts? Thanks :]