A/n: Hey everyone, sorry I haven't written in a while. I'm working on a request and I've just been really busy. I also have to do a lot of paperwork for my job, so after writing a log, or up to four, for that it's been hard to be in the mood for creative writing. I do want to finish these, eventually. If anyone's worried about discontinuation, don't be.

xXx

Always

Chapter 20

xXx

I found myself staring out the window to the garden. The weather had gotten colder over the past two weeks and now it was snowing again. Axel had told me that there was going to be a cold front coming down from the North... and it was hitting us especially hard, today. I watched the delicate snowflakes cover everything in a thick blanket of white. It was serene and so beautiful… and only the second time it had ever snowed in this district of Hallow Bastion on my birthday. It was almost surreal, looking at the difference. I sighed gloomily, plucking at my wristband, one I'd had for a long time now, feeling just as cold inside as it was outside. I stared at the checkered pattern, my mind wandering back to how helpless I had been, back to how I had wanted to give up, just before I had met Axel. I could hardly believe that I was actually twenty-one. I had made it out. I had been free for five years already. I owed so much to Axel. But I couldn't ever quite escape my childhood, even now. I wondered sometimes if I would ever get past it.

Demyx was with Zexion somewhere in the house, keeping an eye on me. I hated it, but I really couldn't blame them. Axel wanted to make sure I was safe. I could hear Dem strumming his sitar, laughing and talking loudly. Zexion had insisted that they leave me be after Demyx had unsuccessfully tried to get me to join them and it was nice, being alone. I really appreciated how receptive Zexion was, actually. Since then, I'd heard Demyx say my name once or twice and something about a surprise followed by shushing from Zexion and giggles from Demyx. It had made me cringe inwardly. I didn't really want to be around anyone but Axel, who was just somewhere. He had been gone when I had woken up and it had made me feel worse. I could only wonder if he was arranging a party. I curled up, hugging my knees to my chest and resting my chin on them. I hoped he wasn't. I didn't want to disappoint him by ruining his plans.

My brooding was interrupted when the front door opened, and although I listened from my spot on the couch, I didn't turn when I heard Axel's voice. I didn't want to face him yet. I wasn't sure I could handle it, feeling like I was going to let him down. "Yeah, thanks for everything, Xaldin, but I'll manage, promise," he mused, walking into the room, and pausing when he saw me. He'd sounded confident. Like whatever he was up to, I was going to love. Hesitantly, I looked up. Our eyes met and his lips curved upward. My heart skipped a few beats. Damn, the things he did to me... "Hey babe," he purred. Xaldin excused himself, giving us some privacy. Axel's smile widened as he left. My heart continued to stutter painfully as I stared at him.

"Hi Axel," I murmured back, giving him a small smile before glancing back out the window in a vain attempt to get my heart to stop beating so fast. I watched his smile become gentler in my peripheral vision, and he slowly approached me. The couch dipped under his weight when he sat beside me. One hand lifted my chin, his smile slowly growing while he looked at me lovingly. When our eyes met again, he opened his mouth, hesitating as if searching for the right words.

"I love you, Roxas, and I know what today means to you. Just don't forget that I'm here, okay?" he murmured, leaning forward. I blinked owlishly but smiled a bit when he kissed my forehead, feeling a little better.

"Thanks, Axel." He brushed his thumb against my chin and then swept my bangs out of my eyes affectionately. Before he could say anything, I heard a high pitched cry coming from his jacket. I blinked at him dumbfoundedly. "Uhm. What was that?" Axel chuckled in amusement then hummed.

"I got something for you, sorry that you woke up before I got back," he answered with a wry smile. I nodded, watching him curiously as he stripped off his jacket. My brows furrowed and I stared at him in confusion. His sweatshirt was bulging strangely at his midsection. He smiled a bit at my expression.

"Axel, what is that?" I asked, laughing. He shrugged wryly, taking hold of my hands. I stared into his green eyes confusedly.

"I'm pregnant, we're going to have a baby," he told me seriously. My eyes widened as I was automatically reminded of all of the sex we'd been having, and what he looked like under me, even if he was only joking. His lips curved upward further, and I knew that he was fully aware of what I was thinking of. My face got hot and just when I thought I couldn't be more surprised, the lump wriggled, leaving me staring as Axel laughed again. He entwined our fingers, those beautiful green eyes boring into mine, and then tugged one hand forward, guiding it to the zipper. After a moment of hesitation, I tugged it down.

I froze, gasping softly as a million emotions hit me at once when a tiny little face peeked up at me. I covered my mouth when the sweetest little kitten peered up at me with big blue eyes. Axel chuckled a bit, "You're just as adorable as she is, you know that?" he teased with a Cheshire grin. I couldn't stop staring. I had never gotten to be around an animal before and I was overwhelmed. My eyes were welling up with tears and I started to cry. "Woah Rox, are you okay?" he asked, but I didn't answer, "It's alright, promise... look," he encouraged. If this was his 'surprise' for me, then I was more than okay with that. I nodded slowly, wiping my eyes. She was gorgeous and had orange ears, orange around her nose and was staring at me intently, mewing softly.

I stared back, even as Axel lifted her out of his sweatshirt to hand her to me. She had an orange tail but the orange faded into white otherwise and was extremely fluffy looking. The kitten flopped lazily in Axel's grasp, still watching me curiously and making him laugh. My heart was completely stolen. I reached for her awkwardly, hesitating before I finally picked her up, my hands trembling a little. Then I held her to my chest carefully, petting her. She was extremely soft. It was my first time ever doing something like this, and I was overwhelmed. She automatically started to purr and nuzzled into me. Axel settled closer to me, watching with a soft smile.

"She's beautiful, Axel, thank you," I whispered. He grinned and then caught my lips, kissing me softly, and I gasped, melting into it.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart," he purred back. I smiled up at him softly, kissing him back, laughing a little when the kitten climbed up onto my shoulder, exploring the back of the couch and then the top of my head. Axel smiled, scooping her up, despite her protests and coddling her. "If you didn't know… Animals can help with overcoming trauma," he told me, smiling at me endearingly and making my heart skip a beat. "I know that you still get upset about your past, sometimes. Especially on your birthday. I want to help you. I want you to heal, Roxas. So, I thought she'd make a good addition to our family." I smiled. It was really sweet of him to do, and it was adorable seeing the two of them together like that.

"Does she have a name?" I asked, wiping at my eyes again. I wasn't used to feeling so many emotions. It was a good distraction. Axel shook his head.

"I thought I'd let you name her." I couldn't help but smile. "She's a flame-point, ragdoll Siamese, by the way," he said, winking. I laughed a bit.

"Okay."

Axel brightened, murmuring, "Good. Now, go get ready baby, I've got a surprise for you." I stiffened, my expression falling as my stomach dropped to the floor. Axel hummed thoughtfully. It was too late to hide my anxiety. He had already seen it. "You don't like that idea?" he asked. I ducked my head a bit, avoiding his gaze.

"I don't want a party," I told him honestly. The kitten batted at the strings to his sweatshirt, making him smile in amusement. He watched her thoughtfully for a moment.

"I know. Demy told me that you were upset today," he answered, making my face redden. At least he didn't seem like he was disappointed… "I wasn't going to put you through that, you know." I looked up at him blinking. He was still smiling, his eyes never leaving me.

"You mean…?" Axel's smile widened, his eyes lidding.

"You didn't ruin my plans. Is it okay if I surprise you now?" he murmured, leaning closer as he spoke. I could feel my heart pounding wildly.

"Uhm, what should I wear? Is this okay?" I asked. Bright green eyes drifted across my body. I was wearing faded jeans that had holes in them, a black zip-up tank top and my black and white checkered wrist band.

"Yeah but, you might want to wear something a little warmer, it's snowing," he advised. I swallowed when his eyes roamed over my body again, feeling my face heat up when his hand caressed my face, but jumped when little feet pounced on me. I looked down, smiling at the curious little kitty, and was met with a demanding 'mew!' My heart felt lighter.

"Hey there little one," I murmured, picking her up. Axel tilted my chin up with the crook of his forefinger, making my breath catch, just before he kissed me. I was panting and my heart was fluttering when he pulled back with a knowing smile.

"I'm glad that you're bonding," he murmured, pressing his lips to mine briefly and then slipping away from the couch. I watched his hips sway, fixedly, and blinked after him dazedly.

"Axel?" The red-head paused, his hand catching the doorframe as he looked back. "Will she be okay without us?" I asked. Axel nodded.

"Demyx and Zexion already offered to babysit," he assured me with a wry smile. I nodded and he disappeared into our room. I returned my attention to the little kitty, smiling happily as she flopped against me, purring happily. She was a good distraction and made me feel at ease as I played with her. It made me really happy.

After a while, I scooped her up petting her softly and padded over to our room. Axel was in the bathroom, and so I went to the closet to find something to wear. I glanced down at my companion and smiled. "What do you think, kitty? What should I wear? What's he up to?" She batted at the charm on my zipper, going cross-eyed and making me laugh, but turned her attention to the clothes when I got closer. I watched as she began batting at a sleeve and laughed a bit. "That one, huh?" I tugged it out of the closet, smiling in contemplation. It was one of my favorites, a collared shirt that was mostly white, with a black and white checkered design, black at the hems of the sleeves, and red at the collar. "You think mommy will love that one?"

I froze when I heard Axel snort behind me. I hadn't even heard him. "Mommy?" I shrugged but couldn't stop smiling. I bit my lower lip to bite back a laugh.

"You're the one who told me you were pregnant, so yeah." He kissed the back of my neck, making me gasp, and murmured,

"I don't think so. We can settle it right now, if you want," making my eyes flutter shut and my cheeks flush. He chuckled a bit when I didn't respond right away. "So then," he murmured, tugging me to his chest. I had to bite my lower lip again, this time to bite back an aroused moan. The hands wrapped around my torso smoothly slid to my waist, settling there. "Do I need to take you to our bed, or are you going to stop calling me mommy?" I couldn't speak for a long crucial moment. I was breathing hard when I turned my head and found that his face was close to mine.

"You shouldn't say stuff like that in front of the baby," I scolded him. He smiled a bit.

"Does our baby have a name yet?" It took me a minute to think clearly. When I finally nodded, I found myself laughing as she climbed up my torso, settling on my opposite shoulder and purring in my ear. She looked like she was smiling and just looking at her made my heart melt. She was really sweet but I was betting that she had a fiery personality underneath. She needed a name to match. Something to do with fire… like Ash or Ember or…

"How about Cinder?" Axel smiled.

"Mmm, that's beautiful, I like it," he murmured in my ear.

"It reminds me of you," I told him with a small smile, my heart was pounding. Axel hummed, his smile stretching.

"I think she likes you." I grinned at him.

"I like her too."

Axel's lips met mine unexpectedly and I stopped thinking when his tongue slid into my mouth. I gasped when nimble fingers worked the button of my jeans, sliding inside and caressing me intimately at the exact moment he curled his tongue around mine, coaxing it into his mouth. I could feel my legs trembling and struggled not to fall against him, painfully aware of Cinder curling up on my shoulder and purring in my other ear. He began to move his hand, and I moaned with every stroke, the fingers of my left hand clenching in his hair. When he broke the kiss, he was breathing a little harshly himself. "You still haven't given me an answer, you know," he teased. I panted, staring at him, fully aroused. His hands slid up my body in pleasurable caresses and I moaned. Too suddenly, his body left mine and he scooped Cinder off of my shoulder. She was still purring, and he cradled her to his chest as she tried to bite his hair affectionately. Then his lips were caressing mine again and I was melting all over again. "I'll be right back, better decide by then," he told me with a smirk. "No running away, okay?" I nodded, dazed. His lips curved up into a sexy smile and I watched him disappear into the living room.

It took a moment, but I collected my scattered thoughts. I hung my shirt on the door knob and then sat on his side of the bed and waited. When he came into the room, I found myself enjoying the view. He was already dressed, black jeans that hugged his body, a studded belt around his waist, a deep crimson sleeveless shirt under a black collared shirt that had the sleeves halfway rolled up and was currently unbuttoned, and as always, the necklace. I smiled, watching him approach. It was a bit more casual than I was used to, but I liked it. I couldn't help but admire how it brought out the natural colors of his hair and eyes.

He stopped in front of me, smiling. "Last chance to take it back," he purred. "Got it memorized?" I smiled back. I didn't want to.

"I don't know, Axel… you do like bending over for me," I told him daringly. Axel blinked, blushed, and then his arms were framing me. His face was close to mine.

"Yeah, but you have to admit, we have a pretty equal partnership. Or do I need to remind you of that?" he asked. When I didn't answer, his lips met mine in a devouring kiss. I kissed him back, our tongues tangling and sliding together, delving deep. Then he was on top of me, unzipping my shirt and kissing me until I was breathless. I grasped his shoulders, pushing him back to breathe. Each of us caught our breaths and then his eyes widened as if in a horrified realization. I was confused for a moment and then it hit me hard. We never had sex on my birthday. Ever. He had never spoken about it or brought it up since I'd told him about Vexen and now he thought I was pushing him away because of it... I watched his face pale. "Oh no, I'm so sorry Roxas, I…" I shook my head, panicking.

"No, Axel, I want you too! I… I've always been afraid of triggering bad memories… but he's gone now. He can't hurt me anymore," I answered, hoping he would believe me. I needed him to believe me, to trust me. He stared down at me worriedly. "I don't want to talk about that. I love you so much and I want you, that's all that matters," I promised, feeling my heart sink. "Please…" He hesitated for a long moment. I stroked his hair, trying to reassure him. "Please Axel, I love you so much… Don't be afraid of hurting me," I murmured, pulling him down and hugging him tightly. Axel nodded slowly then met my lips, more tentatively this time.

I kissed him back, arching up into him. I grasped the hem of his shirt, pulling it up impatiently, so that I could feel his skin against mine. I didn't want him to shy away from me. Each of us moaned when our skin brushed and he began to slowly get more confident that I did want him, his touches becoming more intentional. Finally, he began to roll his hips against mine, and I got lost in a haze of pleasure. Then he was touching me intimately again, and I was moaning into his mouth.

I gasped when I felt his arousal press against mine, hot, naked and throbbing. I stared into his bright green eyes that were devouring me. He moaned, when I wrapped my hand around us, squeezing, and did the same, his hand enclosing around mine. I moaned at the increased pressure, and he began to move our hands up and down. It was so intense, and I squirmed against him, tossing my head from side to side, moaning again and again. He met me halfway in a kiss and I could feel pleasure washing over me sharply. Each of us was pulsing in pleasure, our skin slickened from sweat. Then, I tensed, overcome and crying out as I came, Axel coming as shortly after I did.

I fell back, feeling exhausted but incredible. He was so amazing. Axel sat up, wiping us off with a blanket and looking a bit unsure. I shook my head, murmuring, "Come here," with a smile. He relaxed against me as I tugged him down into a kiss, indulging in a few more. He smiled into the kisses and murmured,

"You sure you're okay?" I nodded, snuggling against him affectionately. "Want to cuddle, or are you ready to go, Rox?" I nodded.

"As long as I get you all to myself tonight, I'm ready to go if you are, yeah," I told him. I hesitated before asking, "Is Xaldin coming with us since Zexion and Demyx are babysitting…?" Axel shook his head, his fingers brushing against my cheek. He was grinning down at me.

"I thought you'd like to spend some time together, just the two of us," he answered. I couldn't help but smile.

"Really, Axel?" He kissed me, smiling all the while.

"Really, baby," he purred. I let him kiss me until we were breathless. I smiled at him brightly and threaded my fingers into his hair.

"That makes me so happy," I murmured, "Thank you." Axel chuckled.

"You can thank me properly tonight, honey," he teased, winking and then kissing me briefly before getting off of me. I watched him fix his clothes with a smile, planning on doing just that.

xXx