Always
Chapter 23
xXx
"What did you decide?"
"You'll just be at Destiny Islands?" Axel hummed in affirmation. "But you'll be really busy huh?"
"Pretty busy yeah, but I'll make time for you. You know that," he answered. I looked up into his eyes. They were full of sincerity. How did I get so lucky?
"I just think that… I'll miss you," I admitted. He smiled thoughtfully.
"Well… I want to respect your time by yourself Roxas… but how about this? We could have dinner together once a week," he suggested. I shook my head.
"Twice a week!" Axel chuckled a bit.
"Okay."
"And if I miss you too much I want you to visit." Nodding, he asked,
"Anything else?"
"Can I… Can I have Cinder?" I asked quietly. Axel kissed the top of my head.
"Of course baby," he murmured. He held me for a long moment before speaking again. "Roxas..." I tensed, wondering if I was in trouble.
"Yeah?"
"I don't want you to feel bad if you don't call me. Don't feel bad about taking time for yourself. Alright?" I pouted up at him and he blinked in surprise.
"I at least want to hear your voice. Every day." He kissed me gently, looking overjoyed beyond words.
"Alright," he murmured back.
xXx
I stared out the window, taking in the gorgeous panoramic view of the ocean. It really was breathtakingly beautiful but, unfortunately, not distracting enough. Cinder had curled up on my shoulder a while ago, nuzzling into the crook of my neck, and was currently napping. She was so soft and warm and beautiful. Just like Axel. I sighed miserably. It hadn't even been a day and I missed him so much. He was all I could think about. I chuckled miserably. I'd literally asked for this too. It was entirely my fault.
I really had to have the best husband in the entire world. Here I was, wallowing, when not only had he brought me here just to make me happy, but true to his word, he had gone home just to bring me Cinder and everything she may need. Toys, food, treats, a litter box. Special kitty bowls. He'd even constructed a tower for her to play in. I giggled about it softly, remembering. He had been so thoughtful, but her favorite perch was my shoulder. I nuzzled against her softly and she purred happily, kneading her little needle claws into my shoulder affectionately. I was really glad to have the company, but I missed Axel. A lot.
He was absolutely leaving me alone and I absolutely hated it. I scrolled through my phone, finding his name and staring at it longingly before locking it again. "You can do this Roxas..." I muttered to myself as I scoffed at my reflection, "he wants you to do this and will probably make you do it again if you don't now… you deserve it anyway for complaining!" I groaned again miserably, letting my chin fall into my arms. If we stuck to our original plan, he wouldn't be coming back for two and a half more days. I needed to figure out what to do with myself. Axel had left me the boat but I did not feel comfortable driving that by myself. The thought crossed my mind that I could probably bump into him at Destiny Islands if I wanted to. I didn't even need an excuse or permission. I could just go find his sexy ass and kidnap him. If he protested, he at least owed me dinner twice this week. It was so tempting. I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes, exhaling heavily. I glanced at the kitchen, my gaze landing on the keys.
Maybe I could go out and think of a nice surprise for when I did see him again. He really had seemed to enjoy food from the Land of Dragons. Maybe he would like that for one of our dinner dates. My eyes slid shut and I found myself reminiscing on the times he had enjoyed me doing things like this for him. I wanted to enjoy his smile. I wanted to hold him. And tie him up. And repay him for my birthday. I shivered, thinking about that oil. It absolutely was not fair of him to do that to me and then disappear. I wanted to make him lose his mind in pleasure and I had decided that I was going to make him lose his mind in pleasure. I bit my lower lip, moaning miserably. I couldn't even do that to him until I saw him, if things went as planned before he left me for three more days. Oh, without a doubt, I'd already made up my mind. I was going to drive him so crazy that he wouldn't be able to stay away from me. And if he did, he was going to be as miserable as I currently was. I nodded resolutely and found myself staring out over the water once more. I was absolutely dreading leaving but maybe with more practice I would feel better. I knew Axel would like that too. I smiled a bit, despite myself. Maybe I would eventually make an appearance at Destiny Islands after all. I couldn't wait to see the look on his face.
I got up, gently placing Cinder in her little kitty hammock. She lazily peeked at me, looking absolutely pleased. It reminded me of one of Axel's Cheshire grins. I kissed the top of her head sweetly. "Keep reminding me of mommy, baby, and you're going to be the most spoiled little kitty in the world." She meowed happily and I laughed despite myself, stroking her affectionately. I glanced out over the water and swallowed before taking a deep breath. I went to the counter, grabbing the keys and clutching them, trying to just breathe. I could do this. I was going to do this. Especially if it brought me closer to seeing Axel whenever the hell I wanted. I secured the house behind me, went down the docking system and got it ready, remembering what he had done. I put on my life jacket and sunglasses, secured my phone, but it was only when I was stopped that I realized I'd forgotten to untie the boat from the dock. I laughed anxiously, bringing it back to untie it. Hopefully this would go better than I was expecting it to.
It didn't. The docking system had come into view and as I was agonizing about how to pull the boat up, it died on the open water. I absolutely tried not to freak out and restarted it. It sputtered and died when I tried. I was shaking, stranded and trying not to panic. What had I done? How was I going to get home?! The waves gently brought me closer and I was able to call out for help. People I didn't even know were kind enough to help me get brought in and tied to the docks. I just sat there, wondering how had I managed to mess up so badly. I buried my face in my hands. I couldn't do anything right. Eventually, and this time, full of dread, I scrolled through my phone, searching for Axel. I was so relieved but so anxious when he answered.
"Hey baby, how are you doing?" My heart was doing flips at the sound of his voice. I said his name weakly before I could stop myself, hoping he wouldn't be mad at me for breaking the boat. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"
"I uhm I went to the marketplace we visited yesterday, and now the boat won't start..." I told him, absolutely mortified. He paused for a long moment.
"You… remembered how to get there all by yourself?" He asked, I could hear the smile in his voice. Why wasn't he upset about this? "Are you safe right now?"
"Yes, I'm tied to the docks, I just don't know what to do now... I'm so sorry, it was just fine, now its sputtering and dying," I told him, on the verge of tears. His calm voice soothed me.
"No, baby, its my fault. I didn't put more fuel in it because I didn't realize you'd be going somewhere." I blinked.
"Fuel?"
"Mhm, I'll show you when I get there but in order to make it run, it needs fuel, can you please ask the merchants to put fuel in it? If it doesn't run after that, call me back and I'll come get you." It wasn't… broken? Relief surged through me. I let myself fall against my seat, all of the tension in my body rushing out.
"It's not broken..? It's not my fault?" I asked tentatively.
"It should be in perfect running order. I noticed it was low on fuel on your birthday, but I was more focused on getting you home and ravaging you," he purred back. "I'm sorry." I blushed darkly and took a deep breath and bit my lower lip hard.
"Okay," I answered, trying to keep my voice level. He knew that I was turned on. I could hear it in his voice when he answered.
"Roxas… Just a reminder, as long as you're safe, that's all that matters to me. I can replace the boat, not you. Call me back if you need me, baby." I continued to bite my lower lip for a long moment, my heart beating hard.
"Thanks Axel," I murmured warmly. "You still need to call tonight, okay?" He chuckled a bit. We had only agreed to talk once a day, I didn't want this to be it.
"Do I?" he sounded pleased about it and even more pleased to tease me.
"Yeah, or Cinder and I will come find you and kidnap you." He laughed gently.
"That's tempting… I would love to see you both," he answered. My heart was pounding out of control as I dared to suggest,
"We would love to see you… if you wanted to come home," I told him. He was silent for a long moment.
"I suppose this is hard for you, huh?"
"It is…" I admitted, "but that's not why I want to see you. I miss you, Axel. A lot."
"Its so hard to resist you," he answered truthfully. "I'd like to see you too. I'll come if I can, okay?" I smiled a bit.
"I'd like that," I told him.
"Goodbye baby, I love you," he told me. My heart was lurching longingly.
"I love you too, Axe. I'm looking forward to seeing you." I could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke.
"Me too, Roxas. I'll do everything in my power to be there tonight."
Our call ended and I couldn't help but smile. I stopped to think for a moment. Why had I been expecting this to end in catastrophe? Axel had never treated me in a way to make me expect that… I frowned a bit. Maybe discovering myself would help me not feel that way anymore. Knowing the answer would be nice. I knew that Axel loved me too much to do something like that. Maybe I had a lot more healing to do after all.
Well first thing's first… I followed Axel's instructions and it was exactly as he said. I was so relieved. I texted him to let him know that all was well, smiling at his response. I'm so glad, baby, and I'm so proud of how well you handled the situation. He was proud of me. It made me feel so warm and happy. My phone chimed again and my smile widened. Roxas, I think it's amazing that you went to the marketplace all by yourself. Have fun today and be safe, I love you.
I hugged my phone, feeling emotional but mostly happy, and thanked him for being amazing and told him I loved him. I was going to do everything in my power to show him how much I loved him tonight. I hoped he was coming.
I found exactly what I'd been hoping for at the Land of Dragons vendor. Food that I could cook for him. I sighed happily, remembering how much he had enjoyed eating here. Browsing, I picked up the items I would need, as well as some recipes. That's when I stumbled across two of my favorite things. "Free" and "Chrysanthemum", but it wasn't what I'd expected. It was tea samples. "Oh wow," I murmured unable to stop myself and smiled at the heavenly smell. The vendor explained the steeping process for loose leaves and explained that this tea was a mix of Dragon Well Tea, which I learned was a high quality green tea that could be steeped twice, Chrysanthemum blooms, and orange blossom honey. I smiled in delight as I tasted it. Perhaps this would be a nice pass time. Maybe Axel enjoyed tea too? I couldn't remember. The elderly gentleman selling the tea explained to me that this type of cuisine and tea went best together, to cleanse the pallet after consuming the food. Following his suggestions, I found some different kinds to try. Dragon Well and White Peony were described as high quality and I enjoyed their taste, certain that the different floral tastes would complement it, I also purchased Chrysanthemum, Jasmine and Rose tea, as well as a few jars of Orange blossom honey and a beautiful charcoal grey teapot with a strainer in it. Delighted with my finds, I stopped into the other shop we had visited. I wondered what else I could find that worked as well as the oil.
As I was browsing through paints, I saw a familiar face. Blinking, I asked "Xion?" Big blue eyes blinked up at me. She was also surprised to see me.
"Roxas? What are you doing here?" She blushed a little, "Is Axel with you?" I paused for a moment, remembering my previous encounter with Fuu, Setzer and Larxene and laughed nervously.
"Oh he's never far away," I answered vaguely, and it was true enough. She beamed at me, which surprised me.
"Yeah, he just adores you. I love it!" I smiled tentatively.
"He does, doesn't he?" I sighed in happiness. "I was looking for something nice for him, kindof in your area of expertise." She smiled cutely.
"Yuna owns this store actually. She was telling me the cutest story about you guys yesterday and what he bought for you. Something like that?" I felt myself blushing and she sighed happily as I exhaled heavily and nodded. "I've got some things that I think you should try," she told me with a wink.
"Oh God you're just like Demyx aren't you?" I muttered. She laughed. Oh it was even worse than I'd thought. She knew what I was talking about.
"You might not know me more than someone who gives you a massage but… you guys are just my favorite couple ever. I like seeing your friends too, but you two are just so good together! Its so nice to see you looking for something for him, I don't think I've ever had the opportunity to," she said with a soft giggle. I smiled gently.
"Thanks Xion," I answered appreciatively. Her smile grew.
"Did you know… he always comes in here, looking for art supplies for you?" I felt warmth spreading in my chest.
"I didn't. He teases me that this is my favorite place all the time though." Nodding she motioned for me to follow her with a tilt of her head. We got to a section with different scented incense, candles, oils. Xion suggested a few that would put Axel in a similar state he had put me in. I smiled in appreciation, but before I could answer, she pointed out the section that I had vehemently avoided yesterday. My face was automatically on fire.
"Did you need anything like this too?" she teased.
I exhaled heavily, absolutely mortified, "I don't even know what any of this is… I didn't even see stuff like this until we came in here yesterday celebrating my birthday..." and she proceeded to educate me. I was so embarrassed that I thought I was going to die. I couldn't believe I actually felt enticed to use these things on him. She picked out a few different things to try on him, and I could tell that she was absolutely delighted about me quietly accepting box after box, even as my face steadily grew hotter. Xion gazed at me for a long moment and smiled in contentment.
"Here, try these out," she told me with a wink. I wanted to disappear when she beamed at me and told me, "don't worry about paying me, think of it as a birthday gift. Come back if there's anything else I can do for you!" There was only one good thing about this. Aside from the fact that Axel couldn't see how embarrassed I was. I was going to make sure that he thoroughly enjoyed himself the next time he was at my mercy.
"There is one thing Xion..." I murmured, absently thinking about meditation techniques associated with the culture, realizing I'd even said something when she hummed in confusion because I'd stopped talking. I fidgeted for a moment. "I had an accident over a year ago and have struggled with my memory. Do you have any suggestions?" She gasped softly.
"Oh I'm so sorry Roxas, I didn't know that..." She thought for a moment, suggesting some books for me to read and sending them with me. "I also teach a yoga and meditation class if you're interested," she answered with a smile. "Oh and Yuna teaches art therapy! She actually has a class tomorrow morning at Destiny Islands, let me find the flier for it!" I smiled, thanking her. Art therapy… I hummed softly. That sounded nice.
It had been an interesting adventure, but I was relieved to be home again. I sat in the boat once I had secured it to the dock, sighing in relief that I'd remembered my way. The whole trip had been a bit exhausting. My head hurt and I felt like sleeping for a week. We actually had a better docking system than many of the houses. The lounge area, hot tub and pool made it easier to recognize which house was ours. Which was actually pretty convenient. As nice as it would be, I didn't actually want Axel to come rescue me.
A few trips up later, I unpacked and sat on the couch, looking through the items Xion had given me. I opened one of the boxes, blushing. Jade. She'd given me a jade plug that I could put in him and tease his prostate while I gave other areas attention. I held it up and admired it in the light. It was so big. I blushed darkly. Jade. To match his eyes. Jade to match the paintbrushes that he'd gotten me. Oh no... She was worse than Demyx. I was so hot, just thinking about the things I was going to do to him. I jumped when my phone chimed and quickly put it back in the box. On my way, baby. Did you make it home? I sent him a quick text back and jumped into motion, hiding some items, dispersing others, tidying up and getting dinner started. I was delighted to find that we had a kettle and filled it with water and then replicated the Chrysanthemum tea. I opened the pot once it had steeped, setting the lid aside, stirring in the honey and couldn't help but smile. The dried flowers looked just like fresh blooms now that they had been steeped. "Oh how beautiful..." I murmured.
"I couldn't agree more." I dropped the spoon, absolutely startled. It clattered against the porcelain and I took a breath, looking up to see Axel leaning against the door frame. My heart was pounding. The sun was setting behind him and he looked absolutely stunning. Cinder was in the crook of his arm, nibbling on his hair affectionately and he smiled at me happily. "Hey baby."
I smiled at him, overjoyed. "You came!" He looked absolutely pleased as he came to me.
"Of course I did," he told me pressing his lips to my forehead. He smiled at me. "Tea?" I nodded and excitedly told him about my experience today and the different kinds of tea I'd gotten to try. He smiled warmly, sitting at one of the bar stools with me as we enjoyed a cup together. "This is very good, I like it," he purred softly. I beamed up at him.
"Me too! I didn't know about Chrysanthemum tea until today." He smiled gently.
"Tea's really good for you, you know. Especially green tea." I smiled into the pale amber color.
"I didn't, but I'm happy to hear that," I murmured back. He glanced around the room before answering, noticing what else I was up to.
"I didn't know that you liked this kind of food, I would have bought some to have here otherwise," he told me gently. I looked up at him. He was watching me with a small smile, resting his cheek in his hand.
"Well actually… I noticed how much you enjoyed it and I was hoping you would come tonight so I could cook it for you. I got some recipes to try." He blinked at me. Oh… he hadn't expected that. It felt nice to catch him off guard. I smiled at him and lent forward to kiss him. "I notice things too, Axel," I told him with a soft laugh.
He simply looked into my eyes, smiling like he knew a secret. My secret to be exact. "I noticed something too," he purred back. I bit the inside of my cheek. The way he was watching me… was leaving me breathless. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his lighter, flicking it open with precise practiced motion. I glanced at the blue flame, watching him light the candles that I had placed on the counter, up until he clicked the lighter shut. He bent forward to murmur in my ear as the scent surrounded us, "I might not know what you're planning, but I'm looking forward to it." I swallowed, shivering.
"So am I,"I told him, turning to him. His smile screamed mischief and his green eyes were full of fire. My face reddened. Xion gave me a Jade sex toy on purpose. I just knew it. I couldn't look at him without thinking about it. I needed to stop looking at him. "I'd better get back to cooking..." His lips curved up further.
"Would you like help?" I swallowed.
"Yes, I'd like that."
We cooked together, making a meal of fried noodles and sesame chicken with vegetables. I couldn't think of a more perfect thing to pair it with than the tea. We ate together, each of us talking about our day before doing the dishes together. I felt warm and happy. It was only when we were sitting on the couch again that I noticed that it looked stormy outside. Axel hummed in disappointment.
"What's wrong?"
"Oh, I was going to head back tonight. If I don't leave soon it might get dangerous. There are a lot of cliffs and curves, so heavy rain is dangerous to drive in." I frowned a bit. As if to lighten the mood, Cinder skittered across the floor, chasing after a toy and making me smile despite myself. My breath caught when he hooked my chin with his forefinger and was bringing my face dangerously close to his. "But first…" I swallowed. My heart was pounding hard as I stared into beautiful green eyes. His lips met mine, his warm hands sliding into my hair and tugging gently as he deepened the kiss. I let my hands slide along his body, just touching him as much as I could. I'd wanted this all day, I just hadn't realized how much. He sighed softly and slid his tongue into my mouth. I completely lost myself in him as I kissed him back. He was touching me everywhere and it felt so good that I could hardly breathe. I rubbed my body against his and he groaned softly. His hands framed my face and he broke the kiss, each of us breathing hard.
"Will you stay a little longer?" Axel smiled at me wryly.
"Are you trying to trap me here?" I laughed a bit.
"Well actually..." I took his hand, our fingers entwining as I squeezed. "I'm just enjoying spending time with you." He tugged me close and into another kiss. "When do you need to be back to the islands?"
"By mid-morning at least."
"If you by chance happen to get stuck here because I asked you to stay, as long as the weather is okay, would you be interested in taking the boat together?" He hummed softly.
"You were planning to go?"
"Well, I actually wanted to ask you something. I heard about art therapy classes today. They're taught by Yuna at the islands, so I thought it would be okay if I went. What do you think?" He smiled slowly.
"That sounds nice. What time is it? Do you want me to check it out with you?"
"About eight in the morning and yeah, I think that sounds safer..." Axel nodded in approval. Thunder rumbled in the distance and rain began to patter against the roof. He pressed his lips to mine for a long moment.
"Thank you for including me in your decision before making it, and for making me dinner." I smiled back.
"Of course." He smiled wryly.
"So what else did you plan for this evening if I stay?" I laughed.
"Come with me and I'll show you." My plan was simple. I was going to lure him upstairs and lower his guard… when he wasn't expecting it, I'd attack. He quirked an eyebrow at me. I knew that look. He wasn't going to come that easily.
"I know what these candles are meant for, Yuna suggested them to me too. You're trying to seduce me, huh?" I smiled at him and leaned forward to brush our noses together.
"Actually, I was hoping to relax you. You're the one that lit them," I told him honestly. He returned my smile.
"Why do you want me to feel relaxed?" I allowed myself to feel a little flustered before answering. I'd never asked him to actually model for me before and I needed him to. It made me feel really nervous.
"Well I was wondering if you would lay in bed, wearing your robe..." He hummed in interest and gave me a knowing smile.
"What for, baby?" He purred back. He was playing with me and it was absolutely working the way he wanted it to. It meant that he knew that I probably wanted more than just kissing him and he was interested in wherever I wanted to take this. It was actually really exciting but...
"I need to touch up my painting before my mixed paint dries out… and I was hoping to help you relax to recapture the pose." He blinked, blushing. I could tell by the look on his face that he hadn't been expecting me to ask and that his suspicions had fallen. "Since we're only planning on seeing each other twice this week, I wanted to ask." The teasing fire in his eyes faded and he touched the side of my face gently.
"Of course I will." I smiled at him and pressed our lips together sweetly.
"I got some incense too. I hope you like it." He nodded, taking my hand and helping me up.
"Okay, show me."
Together, we went upstairs. He helped me set up the incense, lighting it for me before disappearing into the bathroom to get changed. He came back with a cup of warm rinse water for me. I smiled sweetly and thanked him. This was a big part of my success… whether or not I could get him into bed like this, relaxed, willing and unaware. Him being mostly naked was a nice bonus. I turned on some lamps to help mimic the lighting I needed and helped him lay down in the position I needed, using the painting as reference.
"Do you need me to do anything else?" he murmured as I adjusted his robe. I stared into his gorgeous green eyes for a long moment, enjoying the openness and vulnerability in them. I liked that look but...
"Yeah, close your eyes," I answered.
I sat down at the canvas, working on the minor details I had needed to fix, and smiled. This was going to take a while and I knew the longer he laid there like that, the greater the chances he would fall asleep. The sound of the waves and the rain pattering against the house was also incredibly relaxing. It would only be a matter of time.
"Thank you for doing this," I murmured. Axel hummed gently in acknowledgment. I could hear how tired he was. I didn't speak again until I was finished and satisfied. I called his name softly but he didn't answer. He was breathing heavily, his body completely relaxed. I went to him, gently touching him and guiding his left arm to the wrist cuff before doing the same with the other. When I was satisfied that he wouldn't get away, I left to clean my paint brushes.
When I came back, he was still sleeping peacefully. I bent down to kiss his cheek and then opened the nightstand drawer. I pulled out a green jar. I had been told that it would be similar to what Axel had used on me, but much more potent. Beside it, I set down the box for the toy and took it out, smearing the oil on it as Xion had instructed to warm it up. Then I went to him, untying his robe, and pulling it open. He was already on his side, like I had posed him earlier. My hand was still slick from the oil. It was warming my fingers and making them tingle. I ran them into the crevice of his ass, teasing his entrance before sliding one in. He groaned softly and I pushed in another, withdrawing to pour more on my hand and then thrust my fingers back in. He was slick and beginning to get aroused when I pulled away again, bringing the toy with me. I grasped his ass, pulling it open as I pressed the toy in. He groaned a bit, the sensation waking him up. His eyes fluttered and he tilted his head back to look at me. "Roxas…?" He hissed in pain and pleasure, his face reddening and his green eyes glistening. "What are you mm doing?" I shushed him softly, bending down to press our lips together.
"Don't move yet..." He was biting his lower lip and shivering as I slid it in. I was hoping it was going to have the effect I wanted. He gasped, moaning deliciously as it rubbed against his prostate, as promised, no matter how he moved or squirmed. I began to stroke his arousal and he whimpered softly.
"Can I move now?" he asked huskily.
"Yes." It was then that he realized his wrists were bound and he chuckled.
"Oh I hope you were actually painting me and not just luring me here," he groaned, panting and whimpering in pleasure. His face was beautifully flushed. His reactions were turning me on like crazy. I could definitely see why he had enjoyed doing this to me.
"I did," I answered, nodding. "Its perfect now, so let me thank you." His eyes fluttered shut as my lips descended to his. He was trembling in pleasure, squirming and whimpering. He was continually making small sounds of pleasure as I kissed him deeply. His eyes were hazy when I broke the kiss.
"Mm.. hah.. Roxas.." he groaned, trembling under me, and I realized he was painfully hard and leaking, "please..," he whimpered. I got undressed and he watched me, his eyes absolutely burning up. I climbed on top of him, rolling my hips down as he grit his teeth and thrust shallowly. His hands were clenched and he was trembling. I could tell he was trying to go slowly so he wouldn't hurt me. I could feel the effect of the lubricant immediately and it was like I'd been set on fire. I was trembling and gasping by the time I was fully seated on his lap. Axel was trembling too. He wrapped his legs around my waist and pulled me down against him. I gasped as he brushed his nose against mine and moaned as our skin brushed. "Untie me," he commanded, his voice deep and husky. I swallowed doing as he told me. A moment later, I was under him and he was putting my legs over his shoulders, pulling me against him with one strong arm and bracing us with the other, and began thrusting powerfully. It felt so good that I was screaming under him in pleasure, moaning in satisfaction when he came deep inside. He pressed me into the mattress and kissed me with a wild hunger. I gasped when he shifted inside me. I could feel that he was still painfully hard. He was breathing harshly. "What did you put on me," he groaned, panting, "and what did you put in me?" A shiver went through my entire body. His voice was making me melt.
"I-I went to the store we visited and Xion was there. She gave me a green bottle and a plug..." Axel glanced over to the nightstand and chuckled breathlessly.
"Oh baby… don't be too mad at me if you miss your class tomorrow," he breathed and I gasped when he began to slowly roll his hips, grinding into my prostate. "I assume you wanted this or you wouldn't have purchased such a thing or put it on me," he warned before resuming his intense thrusting until I was coming, and shuddering at the sensation of him filling me for a second time. His lips found mine and I was burning up.
"I-It was a gift! I knew it was more intense but..." He kissed me deeply and I squirmed under him, feeling myself getting swept up by pleasure. Axel was breathing hard.
"Always know what you're accepting." My heart dropped.
"Are you mad at me?" I asked quietly. He chuckled a bit, kissing me again.
"I'm surprised that you wanted to arouse me this much. Unless maybe you didn't know." I bit my lip.
"I wanted to make you feel good." His eyes fluttered a bit and he hummed in pleasure.
"Oh baby, you did. What I'm worried about is crossing the line and hurting you. Not everyone knows about your past. That's the only thing holding me back right now," he told me breathlessly. Our lips met briefly. "Do you want more?" I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close.
"Yes I do. I know you don't want to hurt me, you love me so much more than that. I'm so sorry..." He simply smiled at me and kissed me deeply.
In the end I'm not sure how many times we made love… but it continued most of the night. I helped him remove the toy, apologizing over and over. He simply smiled and told me it was alright. I was never trusting Xion again. Axel and I talked about it after the effects wore off. Apparently that oil was specifically meant to increase stamina and induce arousal. For hours. I felt so bad. I had used a lot on Axel. He was amused by it. His lips pressed to my neck. The sun was beginning to rise.
"Do you think you'll be able to walk today?" he asked.
"To be honest, I'm not sure."
"If you want to sleep for a few hours… I can take you to Yuna's class. I bet she'd be delighted to see me carrying you in," he teased. My face flamed and I knew I deserved it. I took his hand and pulled his arm around me comfortingly.
"How do you feel?" I asked guiltily. Axel sighed against my hair.
"Amazing," he answered, "wanna do it again?" I scoffed at him, and could see that he was teasing me. So I pouted at him. He smiled gently. "I know you didn't mean to… but I feel that way because you didn't just leave me like that," he told me seriously. He pressed his lips to mine, kissing me deeply. I got lost in the kiss.
"I love you too much to do something like that," I answered. He brushed his nose against mine,
"I know."
"I'll throw it away," I muttered in embarrassment.
"No, no… keep it," he purred back, making me blush darkly. I was speechless even before he whispered, "I'd like to do this again." I scoffed up at him and he gave me a satisfied smile. Our lips fit together for a long moment. "Better rest while you can," he murmured to me. I nodded in agreement, letting him hold me and feeling myself getting lulled to sleep in his strong arms. It felt like I had only been asleep for a moment when he was gently waking me up. "..Roxas… its time to get ready." I groaned miserably and felt him press his lips to the top of my head. "Want some coffee?" I swallowed, my heart pounding out of control. My eyes felt so heavy. Eventually I pried them open.
"That sounds nice, I might be too tired otherwise." He smiled at me mischievously, got out of bed and tied his robe around himself. He was practically glowing. I bit my lower lip and shuddered in arousal. It was only when he was gone that I realized that Cinder was curled up against me, nuzzling into my back, as if to take the pain away. I couldn't help but smile. She had slept between us last night. How adorable.
When he came back, he let me know that breakfast and coffee were ready. I nodded, trying to calm my beating heart. He was so beautiful. I attempted to sit up and immediately regretted it. I hissed in pain and Axel sat next to me, I didn't even realize what he was doing until he pushed me back down and began to massage the pain away. "Mmm thanks," I groaned. He chuckled.
"Its the least I can do," he purred back, making me blush. When he was done, he offered his hand to me, helping me out of bed. I hissed in pain. Oh this was going to be a humiliating day. Chuckling softly, he pressed his lips to mine for a long moment. My face flamed when he lifted me in his arms to carry me downstairs. I was so embarrassed. He set me down on the couch and then brought me my food and my coffee, as well as some painkillers. Then he smiled at me wryly. "Want me to get you some clothes?" I nodded, not daring to speak. It felt like my face was going to combust. Axel looked entirely too pleased about it. "'Kay, I'll be right back!" I groaned, focusing on eating and taking some medicine.
Axel was dressed when he came back down. I got dressed without a word. He sat next to me on the couch, practically purring when he spoke. "Still want to go out today?" I hesitated, halfway though putting on my shirt.
"I think it would be nice, but I'm worried about being able to get back up the steps after class," I told him truthfully. Axel gave me a wicked little smile. I swallowed hard.
"If you want, after your class, you can take a nap in my bed, but I can't promise I won't keep you there." I blushed, feeling arousal rush through me and once again, didn't dare comment.
"Where are you staying? On the island?" He just smiled.
"Mhm, a nice little villa, right on the water," he answered. He grasped my thigh and bent forward to murmur, "if you like it, I might give it to you as a gift," he purred, locking our lips together. It was only after I chuckled in amusement that I realized he wasn't joking.
"How many houses do you think you need to buy for me?" Axel gave me a meaningful smile.
"Is that the right question you should be asking, Roxy?" he purred back. I swallowed, searching his eyes.
"What should I be asking?" I asked breathlessly. He smiled wryly before indulging me.
"What wouldn't I do for you?" he asked. I forgot how to breathe. When I spoke again, I had goosebumps.
"You already own it, don't you?" His smile became even more mysterious.
"Maybe, how would you feel if I did?"
"I… never really considered it," I told him truthfully, "but as long as it makes you happy, that's what matters." He chuckled a bit.
"Good answer."
xXx
Humiliating didn't even begin to cover how I felt, being swept up into Axel's arms, not only down to the boat, but also into Yuna's class. The silver lining was that no one saw us. Or so I thought. We'd been caught on camera. To Yuna and Xion's delight. Axel gave them a satisfied grin when they rushed to greet us and absolutely refused to confirm or deny anything.
"Do you have room for us this morning?" he asked, smiling down at me warmly.
"Yes, today we're working with paint!" Yuna chattered excitedly. Axel's smile widened.
"How perfect, Roxas was just painting last night," he teased softly, following Xion to an open spot. Before she could disappear, he was speaking again. "Xion, don't make a fuss about us, it's better if we're anonymous."
"Of course, Axel!" My face was at a constant simmer. He settled down beside me with a wicked little smile.
"How are you feeling, baby?" he purred into my ear, fingering the love bites he'd marked my body with. I bit my lower lip.
"Oh you tease," I hissed back. He chuckled a bit, his fingers caressing my body soothingly.
"You started it," he answered, our eyes locking. "I'm going to finish it."
My eyes fluttered, he was on top of me kissing me until I was breathless. "I love it when you smell like paint," he told me huskily. "I love seeing you make such beautiful things with your own hands." I chuckled breathlessly and pulled him close. I paused to gently caress his face, smearing crimson paint on his pale skin. One day, he was going to be the image on my canvas.
"You're lucky that I'm at a good stopping point or I'd have to punish you," I whispered back. His mouth found mine. Our tongues battled in a fight for dominance and I found myself shuddering under him.
"I would never stop you from doing what you love," Axel told me seriously. I kissed him back, getting swept up in pleasure.
"I love you," I whimpered, "don't you dare stop." Chuckling, he promised,
"I won't."
I gasped softly. He pressed his lips to my cheek and murmured, "Remembering something good?"
"Maybe, you tell me," I answered, picking up my paint brush and mixing some paint.
"The prompt was…" he murmured but stopped when my brush met the canvas in precise, intentional motions. Even without a sketch, I knew what I was going to do. He stilled and just watched as the painting came together. I purposely stopped at the same point that I had in the memory before looking up at him. He looked absolutely heartbroken. I blinked up at him, concerned. Well damn. That wasn't what I'd been expecting.
"Axel? What's wrong?" He looked startled and I turned back to the painting. It was of a view from a clock tower at sunset. One that I didn't personally remember, but I was sure we'd been to many times. I added some more red to the hues in the setting sun and asked, "did I do something wrong?" He watched me in silence until it was complete. I blinked at him, alarmed. Tears were streaming down his face.
"This is the last thing you painted before your accident… except, you never finished it." I smiled a little, understanding. Oh, so that's why he was so emotional about me painting him. It actually made me feel a bit guilty for using it to lure him into our bed. I hummed softly.
"So, its a bittersweet memory," I answered.
"Oh wow Roxas, how beautiful!" Yuna's voice interrupted our moment and I jumped, absolutely startled. I'd forgotten where we were. "Tell me about your painting and how it relates to your favorite emotion!" I blushed.
"Well actually… I remembered something and just started painting, I'm so sorry," I muttered in embarrassment. She blinked down at me.
"Oh but that's so wonderful, Roxas. More than anything, we want this to be healing for you." I smiled a bit and stared at the painting.
"Its Twilight Town, 'Why the Sun Sets Red'," I murmured as I remembered his answer to that question. Out of all the colors that light represents, red travels the farthest. No matter what I'll be there for you, no matter what length I have to go, I'll be there in your darkest hour even as the light fades. "I remember now, thanks for being here with me today," I told Axel with a smile. He hugged me, even as Yuna left. He took the time to stay with me, even after the painting was finished.
"Thank you for asking me to come," he murmured. I stared at the painting for a moment longer.
"I hope I didn't make you late for whatever you have planned," I told him, feeling a little guilty.
"Being here with you, right now, is more important than anything else," he answered. I smiled and glanced up at him.
"I want you to have this painting," I told him. His gaze was warm as he thanked me. When we left the studio, we left the painting to dry so that I could put a protective finish on it when I came back. Walking was still a bit of a struggle. Especially after sitting for so long. So once again, Axel deemed it necessary to sweep me off my feet. He simply laughed as I begged him to put me down. So I resorted to smacking his chest and struggling vainly. It didn't phase him at all.
He took me to a smaller but beautiful house, hidden away in a private little cove with its own private beach. He tied to boat to the dock and carried me to the door where he typed in a passcode. The deadbolt slid open and he carried me in. "You can put me down now…" He just smiled at me and pressed his lips to mine before carrying me upstairs and laying me down in a huge comfortable bed. Even the sheets were amazingly soft. I blushed. He really wasn't kidding. How many secret getaways did he have? He gave me a sweet little smile.
"Get some rest, I'll see you soon."
"Wait this is all so much…" He sat on the bed next to me, helping me take off my shoes and massaging my feet as he settled me into the bed and pulled a soft blanket over me.
"Close your eyes, beautiful. I'll be back before you realize I'm even gone," he promised. "If you wake up before I get back, you can explore." I felt myself relaxing and sighed softly.
"Come here first." I patted the spot beside me and he obeyed. I hugged him close to myself, not saying anything. I just wanted him near me. He held me, winding our legs together. Before I knew it, his gentle touches were sending me into a deep sleep.
"Roxas, there you are, I wondered if I'd ever see you again." My skin prickled, and I felt nervous… no uneasy… for some reason. I turned and forced myself to smile. I had met the man who had approached me only once and couldn't help but feel intimidated by him. Axel seemed to trust him, but my senses were on fire, like I should get away. That tended to happen to me when I was around dangerous people.
"I'm not sure what you mean, Sephiroth?" He smirked slowly. Those bright green eyes were glittering dangerously. Sephiroth was someone who could even threaten Axel with his position. If he wanted to.
"He keeps you so well hidden… but that's easy enough, I suppose. How tragic, you went straight from one cage to another." My heart was heavy, like a stone, but I forced the smile.
"What on Earth are you talking about?" He simply crossed his arms and smiled.
"Your life with Axel might look beautiful but gilded cages usually are, aren't they?" I shook my head and took a drink to give myself a moment to compose myself. I'd seen this charade before and wasn't about to buy into it.
"Axel wouldn't do that." A silver brow rose.
"You're allowed to leave? What exactly do you think would happen if you tried? You're a loose end, Roxas. Didn't you ever wonder why he picked you? You're easy to control." I tensed as he approached me. "I can help you." I took a step back.
"I don't remember asking for your help. Look, I don't know where you get off saying this but-" I stared at him when he laughed.
"Ask him. Ask him what would happen if you ever left."
"He would let me." He gave me a patronizing and pitying smile.
"Whatever you say, Roxas."
I woke up in a cold sweat, holding my head and breathing hard. It was absolutely throbbing. It hurt so much that I closed my eyes, groaning softly. Was that a dream? A memory? If it had been real, wow that me had been so much more collected and confident than I was. I suffered in silence as time passed agonizingly slowly. I bit my lower lip, venturing… "Other me? Are you still in there? I hope so because you seem pretty cool… Waaay cooler than me… Am I ever going to get my life together again or is this going to keep happening to me?" I wondered aloud. I closed my eyes and waited. Nothing. I frowned and hummed in disappointment, but I wasn't really surprised. I flopped back down and rubbed my head, keeping my eyes shut. Using them hurt anyway. Sephiroth. Hadn't Axel introduced us for the first time when I showed him my keyblade designs? I hummed softly. Had our paths crossed before then? I exhaled heavily. My head hurt so much. I wished I knew more about the other me. The one that Axel seemed to miss so much. I hated that I was stuck feeling like I was someone else and couldn't remember who I was supposed to be. "Those memories would actually be nice to have! Remembering like this sucks..." I complained.
Don't be scared, you're still me, I'm still you. The words came to me like a visual in my mind and I gasped, my eyes opening wide. "Oh no.. no, no, no. No more ghosts…" I pleaded aloud, absolutely freaking out. My chest tightened up as I panicked and I couldn't breathe. My vision faded out for a moment, flashing white. Hissing I squeezed my eyes shut again. When I opened them again, the pain had lifted and I was sitting on white sand, waves lapping at my feet. "Oh no…" I muttered, full of dread. I heard a soft laugh and looked up, startled to see myself sitting in a tree that had fallen on its side, one leg casually swinging back and forth. Completely startled, I scrambled to get away as fast as I could.
"No more ghosts," the blond promised as I tripped over myself. I flinched. My eyes were impossibly wide.
"Wh-what… what do you want…? Who are you? What are you?!"He simply gazed at me and I could feel it. He was me. I stared at him stupidly. It… worked...? It worked?! I gaped for a full minute. "What do you-I… want? This is me, right?" He smiled slowly and nodded, answering simply.
"This." I swallowed, absently digging my feet into the sand as I worked to calm myself and realizing...
"The missing pieces of myself…" The other me hummed and tilted his head at me.
"Is that something you're ready for?" The question caught me off guard.
"What if I'm not… what if I am… what if I don't know? How does that even work? Do you replace me like some creepy body snatcher and trap me here forever? I am not going down without a fight," I promised, clenching my fists. Again, there was soft laughter.
"When you're ready, you'll remember a piece of me at a time." I bit my lower lip, allowing the tension fade away.
"Like I have been, huh? No offense but I don't really like the method." I was quiet for a long moment. "Anyway, thanks for finally meeting me. You're so cool and inspiring. I wished I could be more like you."
"I'm already you, silly."
"But I'm not-" I froze when he hopped down and sank into the sand beside me. His hand covered mine and he squeezed reassuringly. Somehow it made me feel at ease when any other time I should have been panicking. "What are you doing?" He smiled gently.
"Reminding you I'm here. Now just believe in yourself. Okay?" The scenery began to fade around me and my brows furrowed.
"Will I ever see you again? I don't want to say goodbye yet, I have so many questions, I-" He chuckled softly and my worries faded away.
"Of course. I'm you."
I gasped, finding myself back in bed. I would have written that vision off as another bad dream, but I could still feel the phantom pressure of my hand being squeezed. It made me feel comforted, relaxed, at ease. Like I was going to be just fine. I smiled softly. If that was really who I had been, I wanted to be that person again. I'd always been afraid, o like I had to choose between who I was now and who I had been. There had been so much pressure to be normal when I first lost my memory. What if that had been holding me back more than anything else?
I got out of bed and went to the mirror next to he bed. My fingers pressed to the reflective surface. I was still the same me but in a way, I looked so much more relaxed. I exhaled gently and murmured "thank you." Just believing that I could be myself again made me feel so much better.
I padded around the house. The upstairs was a loft with an office attached. The railing for the balcony was glass and it maximized the view of the open windows, much like the other house. The view was breathtaking. There was a small span of grass and then a walkway to sandy beach. I could hear the waves. It was so peaceful. The upstairs was fairly minimal. Tucked behind the bed were two separate closet areas. Honestly, I liked it that way. I went downstairs, immediately appreciating that the windows spanned the lower level as well. Just off the bottom of the stairs was a bathroom and then a kitchen that opened up to a living room area with a fireplace. I really did like it here. It felt like home.
In the back of my mind, I was vaguely aware that it was like I was moving without fully realizing or having to be so aware of myself. There was an awareness that shouldn't have been mine, but at the same time it was mine. I explored with a graceful spring in my step, humming softly. Somehow I knew, it was my favorite part of the day. My favorite person in the world was due to come home from work any minute now. I went to the fridge, grabbing a drink. A mere moment later, the code was being typed into the door and the lock was clicking open. I smiled warmly, waiting for his eyes to meet mine. It was nice to catch him coming home for once. He looked pleasantly surprised.
"Look at you, getting around without being carried," he teased. I snorted softly. Jerk. I'd get him back for that.
"Hey Axel, how was work?" He shrugged, hanging up his jacket and closing the door behind himself.
"It was alright. What have you been up to?" I took a drink and then set it down before going to him. He didn't take much notice as he took off his shoes and put them away.
"Counting down the minutes until I could see you again?" I offered. He smiled slowly, but anything he might have said was forgotten when I grasped his shoulders and stood on my toes. "I missed you," I murmured against his lips and his eyes slid shut as I kissed him. His eyes were warm and gentle when he opened them again.
"Oh? How much?" he teased softly. He blinked when I pulled him into another kiss and didn't let go. "You must be feeling better," he told me, grabbing my my legs and bringing me up to his level. I smiled at him and wrapped my legs around his waist. He bent forward to kiss me and I tilted my head back, evading as I crossed my arms behind his neck and played with his hair, twirling the silky strands in my fingers. His green eyes glimmered as he watched me in a way that let me know he was patiently waiting to devour me.
"I'd feel even better with you inside me," I answered without missing a beat. His left hand teased the exposed skin on my back before gliding into my pants and squeezing pleasurably. My eyes fluttered and I groaned. "Please, Axel." I gasped when his teeth nipped my neck and his fingers pressed against me at the exact same time. I buried my hands in his hair and pulled hard. His fingers squeezed against me, trembling for a moment, before his mouth attacked my neck viciously. I moaned and rolled my hips against the fingers that were probing my ass, encouraging him to slide them in.
"Stop it or I can't promise I'll go easy on you," he breathed into my ear. I chuckled a little.
"What makes you think I want you to go easy on me?" I gasped when he slammed me against one of the windows facing the water and began rolling his hips into mine. I hissed in pleasure when his fingers slid into me and began stroking my prostate. I moaned, my hands cupping his face as his mouth covered mine and he thrust his tongue against mine. It felt incredible. I was gasping for air by the time he pulled back to rip the shirt off of my body. He tugged his off before resuming his attack. I felt like my whole body had melted. I could barely think by the time he was letting me down to take off the rest of my clothes. When we were both naked he pinned me again.
"Do you want to do it here?" he purred softly.
"Should we go somewhere more private?" I breathed. He smiled wryly.
"Where would you like to go, my love?" I smiled back.
"Anywhere, as long as you're with me." He picked me up, he same way he had been carrying me all day and took me upstairs. My heart melted a bit at the care he was showing me. He set me down on the bed. He sat on the bed, much like he had earlier, and smiled down at me.
"Get on your knees and hold onto the headboard," he commanded. His lips curved up and he hummed softly in pleasure as I did it. I was burning up everywhere, absolutely turned on as he decided what he was going to do to me. His hands caressed my ass, squeezing pleasurably before he bit me gently and I shuddered. Then he used his tongue to prepare me until I was sobbing in pleasure and dripping onto the bed. I barely felt myself moving until he pulled me onto his lap. Our lips met and my eyes slid shut as my body yielded to him sliding inside of me. He angled my hips until I was mewling into his mouth. "I don't think taking time away from each other is going to work for either of us," he purred to me softly. I trembled, throwing my head back in a breathless cry as he rolled my body into his and made waves of pleasure crash down on me. "I think you miss me too much and I want you in my bed like this, screaming every single night." Then he began to move until I was doing just that, his hands bringing me to climax with him and I completely lost myself, drowning with him in pleasure.
He was touching me gently, smiling beside me when I came back to my senses. "I'm really trying but being without you just sucks," I told him honestly. He chuckled a bit.
"I realized how much you missed me when you were brave enough to use a sex toy and an aphrodisiac on me," he murmured. I pouted up at him.
"I also remember making love all night and jumping you as soon as you got in the door just now." He gave me a pleased smile and rolled on top of me before taking my lips in a deep, sensual kiss.
"I still want you to have this opportunity, but I think we need to see each other more or we won't be able to stay away from each other at all," he murmured seriously. I brushed his hair back gently. I knew well by now that when he made his mind up about something like this there wasn't room to argue, but there was room for compromise. I pressed my lips to his forehead. He stiffened in surprise. "Roxas?" he murmured. I hummed softly pulling back to look at him.
"Am I not allowed?" I asked. He blushed adorably.
"O-of course you are," he murmured, absolutely flustered when I kissed his cheek. He wasn't used to this from me. Somehow I could feel deep inside just how much he needed it. I cupped his face and told him seriously,
"Come to my art therapy classes with me." He was looking into my eyes deeply and I knew what he was thinking. Do you remember? No matter how many times he told me it didn't matter, there was always a deep hope and yearning in his eyes. I knew he would never ask and I preferred it that way but somehow, now, it didn't matter to me anymore. It was so freeing.
"Of course I will," he told me with a sweet smile. I rewarded him with a kiss and told him,
"I'm going to give yoga and meditation a try if you're interested." He smiled at me endearingly and nodded.
"Lets have dinner together tonight," he murmured.
"Only if I get to cook for you tomorrow." He nodded.
"Of course." I hooked my leg around him and pulled him closer.
"And I want you for dessert," I purred softly. He was blushing and it made me feel absolutely delighted. "Is that fine, baby?" I asked. Something inside him melted.
"You remembered something," he told me in a breathless whisper. I smiled at him.
"No." He looked like he felt bad for saying it so I stroked his hair softly. "I'll take that as a compliment," I told him, giving him a gentle kiss. "I have been feeling inspired by the best parts of who I was," I told him honestly, "I should be able to do those things again, right? I mean I already have, and it's still a part of me."
He smiled, approval and adoration were written all over his face. He gently pressed his lips to the top of my head. "Right," he agreed softly. "Are you hungry? Ready to eat?" I chuckled a bit.
"Oh I've been starving, but I wanted you first. I simply couldn't wait." He kissed me deeply.
"Get dressed and I'll take you somewhere," he promised.
"Will you bring me my clothes?" He smiled down at me.
"Sure… and sorry in advance." I tilted my head at him.
"...why?" He fingered my neck and I felt heat rush to my face. He chuckled in amusement and slipped away. I scoffed at him.
"That's fine," I told him dangerously, making him pause and glance back at me.
"Oh?"
"Yeah," I murmured nodding, "I'll just have to pay you back." He grinned at me.
"I'll make sure to let Demyx see," he purred. I huffed at him and he laughed all the way down the stairs. I took a deep breath and sat up. My body didn't seize up and I thanked every higher power I could think of. It must have been comical because he laughed at me again when he came back.
"Oh stop it," I told him smiling despite myself. It was nice to see him so happy. He was halfway dressed, in his pants. I was sure he was being sexy on purpose. Not like he even had to try. It wasn't fair how sexy he was.
"Laughter," he told me, handing me my clothes, "is soothing for the soul." I covered his hand with mine, smiling up at him.
"You soothe mine," I told him honestly. He kissed the top of my head and murmured,
"Get dressed baby. I'll be waiting downstairs. You're too tempting right now." My heart felt full as I watched him leave. I followed his suggestion, and when I joined him he was putting on on a leather jacket. My heart fluttered a bit.
"Did you bring the motorcycle?" He grabbed a sweatshirt off of the hook and handed it to me.
"What if we have another one?" he asked. I pulled on the sweatshirt and staggered a bit, having a flashback of riding on the island on it. That was the day he brought me here for the first time. "..xas.. Roxas!" I gasped, realizing he was holding on to me.
"I'm okay," I murmured. Axel exhaled in relief.
"Are you?"
"Yeah… I just remembered," I told him with a small smile. "Thanks for catching me," I told him a little guiltily. I took his hands, kissing the backs of his fingers and smiling. "I'm really fine. Let's go." He let me lead him. He pulled the door shut and I stopped him from entering in the code, so that I could 0813. He blinked and stared at me in amazement. The lock engaged and he sighed in relief.
"Sometimes you scare me and then just amaze me," he admitted.
"I'm sorry." He hugged me and told me not to be. Then he led me to the motorcycle from my memory. It was a gorgeous smoky dark gray and it shimmered in the afternoon light. I ran my fingers along it, more memories flooding into my mind. We had taken it on a ferry, to the mainland. Twilight town. That's where the clock tower had been. A beautiful place to watch the sunset as we ate sea salt ice cream. I blinked and stared up at him. He was busying himself with getting our helmets when I touched his arm gently. "Is this mine?" He smiled at me secretively. He mounted the bike and guided me in front of him.
"What else is yours, do you remember?" He murmured in my ear. My eyes fluttered.
"...No?" I answered and stiffened, realizing I was staring at it. If you like it, I might give it to you as a gift, I teased. My brain stopped working. I realized he'd said the same thing to me… about a gift I'd given him. All of the details that I loved about this place, I was the one that had picked them out. For Axel. I had even purchased a motorcycle so he could teach me and we could ride together. I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't speak.
"I think you do," he answered directly into my ear. My heart was beating so fast that I thought it might explode.
"Were you ever going to tell me?" I asked quietly. He tilted my head up, bending down to press his lips to mine.
"If it was right, but you remembered on your own," he answered.
"I'm sorry I don't remember if you started teaching me." He blinked down at me and I furrowed my eyebrows. "The lessons? I bought the motorcycle to…" and at that moment, I realized that he didn't know. "...to ride with you," I told him shyly. Then I realized, "I was going to surprise you." He smiled warmly.
"I'll teach you," he promised. He guided my hands to the handlebars. "Trust me, don't be afraid." He put the helmet on my head and then when he was ready his hands fit over mine. My heart was racing as he instructed me to shift my weight with the bike, helped me start it and explained each step. Before I knew it, we were pulling into a restaurant and going inside.
Axel was quietly happy about it but I could tell. He was absolutely thrilled to learn why I had wanted to buy a motorcycle. I knew he wasn't trying to pressure me. It was secretly adorable. Just watching him made me happy. We enjoyed each other's company as we ate together and it was nice. Just as I made up my mind that he was going to let me coddle him more, he took my hand.
"What do you think? Are you ready to take me home?" he teased. I hummed softly. Perfect.
"Okay," I teased back. He looked pleasantly surprised. I smiled at him. I liked that expression. "C'mon." He followed my lead and climbed on the motorcycle behind me. It was actually exciting that he trusted me. To the point of wrapping his arms around my waist. It felt so nice. "You sure?" I asked.
"Of course," he purred back. I turned the key and revved the engine to life. When the traffic cleared I pushed off. It felt so good that it was just easy. I wasn't scared. I felt safe with his arms wrapped around me, I wanted to do my best to protect him and make him happy and proud of me. It made me feel good that I could do something for him. I slowed, leaning as we turned onto the road to the house, only stopping as we got home. His hands left my waist to help guide me to shut it off properly and engage the kickstand. I pulled off my helmet and he took it for me, securing them and helping me down. His eyes were sparkling in excitement. "You did it, I knew you could," he told me happily. "How was it?" I beamed up at him.
"Awesome!" A beautiful excited smile lit up his face. My heart skipped several beats and I very keenly remembered him giving me that rare elusive smile when I had given him this house. His eyes were sparkling as he took my hand, chatting passionately about how much he loved going for rides and how happy he was that I'd enjoyed it. He wasn't holding back anymore and my heart was doing all sorts of gymnastics in my chest as we went for a walk together along the beach. When we got there, I realized that it was the same beach from my mind space. Somehow, it made me feel safe. My heart was beating so fast that it hurt. I loved him so much already, but seeing him passionate. Wow. I squeezed his hand and asked, "You've been taking the motorcycle to work right?" He nodded, dimming a little. I hated myself on the spot for asking. I wanted to make him beam in happiness again.
"Sorry I should have asked." I shook my head.
"You don't have to ask, that isn't what I was going to say," I answered with a laugh. "I wanted to ask if you would be interested in bringing your motorcycle here sometime, so we can ride together." His eyes sparkled in excitement and relief surged through me. I kissed him. I couldn't take it anymore. He was too irresistible. "But not yet." He smiled a bit.
"Do you need more practice first?" I shook my head.
"I…" I hesitated. It was probably selfish but… "I like how it feels." He hummed in confusion. I blushed, staring out over the water. "When you're holding me as I drive." My eyes fluttered as he wrapped his arms around me, mimicking what he had done on the back of the motorcycle.
"I liked it too," he murmured in my ear. I turned my head to look up at him. His eyes were glimmering like starlight.
"Really?" Axel nodded and then closed the space between us to kiss me deeply. I was lost in those beautiful green eyes until my eyes slid shut.
"Good." When our eyes met again, I bit my lower lip. This beautiful, unreachable man was mine. He had my heart and I had his. Those feelings came rushing back. I wanted to protect him and take care of him. Just like he did for me every single day.
"What are you thinking about so seriously?" He asked. I brushed his hair back without really thinking.
"Baby…" He melted a bit and I caressed all the right spots, making him shudder. "You're so strong all the time. How would you feel if I wanted to take care of you?" I saw vulnerability as his gaze softened, "Would you let me?" Axel hugged me close.
"Nobody's ever said that to me before," he told me uncertainly.
"Would you let me?" I asked again, looking him in the eyes.
"Yes, Roxas," he whispered. I cupped his face, kissing him gently. He whimpered into my mouth when I pulled him close, deepening the kiss. At some point we ended up in the sand and I was straddling his hips and holding his wrists, pinning them on either side of his head. My tongue battled with his in a heated kiss. He broke away, turning his head to the side and mewling in pleasure when bit his lower lip. I didn't waste the opportunity to mark his bared neck. The sounds he was making were setting me on fire. I found the spot where his neck met his shoulder and sucked especially hard. It felt good to mark his pale skin and to hear him moan. I pulled his jacket open and slid my hands up his muscled stomach. He shuddered as I began to play with his nipples.
"Baby," I purred, delighted at his reaction. He liked it so much more than he let on. I fit my leg between his to put pressure against his arousal. Axel moaned enthusiastically and completely melted against me. "I want you to come to me every night, so I can make you feel like this." His face flushed. I didn't wait for his answer. Instead I took his mouth and worked open his jeans so I could stroke him. He was moaning and squirming, but absolutely allowing it. I yanked his pants down and took him into my mouth, making him cry out deliciously and desperately until he was coming and I was swallowing the mess he'd made. He was breathing hard. He chuckled breathlessly, looking absolutely stunning. His lips curved up.
"Every night?" I kissed him and he moaned.
"Yes." His gaze melted.
"Okay." I realized after the fact, that was the best way to negotiate with Axel. Directly telling him in a confident way. We got lost in another string of kisses. He hummed softly and I groaned when he stroked me through my pants. "My turn, Roxy," he purred, making short work of my clothes.
"You too," I teased. He gave me a teasing smile and shrugged his jacket off, letting me help him with his shirt. He took off the rest of his clothes and let me appreciate his body. "You're so attractive, it isn't fair." His lips stretched into something more wicked and he took my hand using his tongue to draw my fingers into his mouth. I shivered at the sight and the sensation. He pulled back, commanding,
"Prepare me while I prepare you." I had a moment to be confused before he was taking me into his mouth and sucking hard. I moaned, shuddering at the thought of what he was going to do to me. I bit my lower lip hard, hoping it would help me concentrate but completely lost myself as he began to bob his head.
"Axe, wait," I whimpered, pushing him back, "come here please." He raised himself to his knees. My fingers were trembling as they slid into the crevice of his ass and he gave me a pleased smile as I fingered him, stretching and shuddering at the velvety caress, absolutely aroused. He pressed our lips together and squeezed my shoulders.
"I'm ready." Nodding, I placed both hands on his hips, guiding him, each of us shivering uncontrollably as we became one.
"Are you okay, baby?" I got lost in a kiss with him.
"Let's make love," he whispered back. We moved together, trembling and writhing under the stars. It was slow and gentle, with intentional motions meant to draw out one another's pleasure. I pressed my forehead against his, panting.
"I love you, Axel," I moaned. Our lips met in a tender kiss.
"I love you too, got it memorized?" I pulled him close, increasing the force of my thrusts and he gasped softly matching my movements. I intentionally angled his hips to brush his prostate until he was a sobbing, moaning mess.
"Of course, beautiful," I told him. He moaned my name as he came for a second time. His body squeezed around me, making me hiss in pleasure. Moments later, I was crying out as I filled him. I hardly had a moment to breathe before he was kissing me. I just held him after that, staring up at the stars, my back against the sand. "You're amazing," I told him, absolutely breathless. I loved holding him like this, stroking his hair gently.
"You're… I can't put it into words, Roxas." I stilled and he sat up. "I can't believe you're real and not just a dream. I never thought you'd be mine." I laughed breathlessly.
"Axel… you're on a whole other level. Yet here you are. You wanted me before I was anybody. You wanted me when I couldn't remember being anybody…" He kissed me and I let myself get lost.
"Here you are… through it all," he murmured, "being so much more than I deserve." I brushed my fingers though his hair.
"I think that should be my line," I told him seriously. He smiled and shook his head. "You deserve the world, Axel." I tugged him closer. "Now come here and let me hold you." His gaze gentled and he obeyed. He nuzzled against me and I felt bad. So much of our marriage I felt like I had deprived him of this. I had made his life hard. I wrapped my arms around him protectively and ran my hands along his body gently.
"Should we go inside, baby?" He murmured tiredly.
"Probably, huh?" I teased softly. Axel let me hold him for another moment and then sat up. We got dressed and I squirmed a bit. It reminded me of our honeymoon after having sex on the beach. I chuckled a bit. "How does it feel to have sand everywhere?" He snorted in amusement.
"Oddly satisfying," he answered. "We should probably shower," he told me, his eyes glimmering mischievously. I laughed aloud.
"I thought you were satisfied," I teased. He simply smiled.
"I'm looking forward to the view," he replied without missing a beat. He got up, offering me his hand. We went inside, enjoying a nice hot shower, just holding each other and enjoying each other's company. It was exactly what I needed. If his satisfied smile was any indication, Axel felt the same way.
He kissed me gently as we settled into bed, each of us holding the other. It was perfect.
xXx
I had that awful dream again. I hated it. I couldn't get it out of my head. More than anything, I hated that I had woken Axel up and he had seen my reaction to it. I hated that I had not been able to stop it from bothering me. I couldn't get it out of my head and I hated myself for it.
I was in his arms and he was gently stroking my hair, soothing me.
"Axel…" He hummed softly, watching me with a soft smile. I exhaled in frustration, knowing deep inside that I needed to get this off my chest so I could let it go. "If we were ever on bad terms… and things didn't work out between us… would you let me go?" He took my hand, furrowing his brows in concern. I didn't think it was possible to hate myself any more until that moment.
"Where's this coming from, baby?" I bit my lower lip.
"I just want to know, if I were a liability to you, what would happen?" He watched me patiently before tilting his head back and sighing.
"Six years ago, I promised to protect you. Don't you remember?" My heart felt so much lighter as I nodded, "So you don't need to worry, right?"
"But… What if I did something unforgivable. What if you felt like I sided with your enemy again?" A red brow rose.
"Is this about Larxene? I don't want to hear that she approached you." I shook my head.
"I just want to know. What if you ever hated me?" He laughed a bit breathlessly.
"I don't think that's possible, Roxas." I pouted up at him and he melted.
"Okay, fine. Even if we grew to hate one another, I would still make arrangements to make sure you're cared for and protected." I must have looked alarmed because he sighed softly. "If I didn't, then other people could hurt you if they wanted to use you to get to me. If there were anyone who didn't like you, they would also be free to go after you for their own reasons."
"So… I'd never get the chance to just be a normal person?" I asked carefully. He frowned.
"I suppose that if you wanted to take that risk I couldn't stop you. If you really wanted to disappear from my life forever… but Roxas, I would do everything in my power to keep my promise otherwise." I smiled at him warmly.
"You really are so much more than I deserve." His worry faded, just a little.
"Baby, if you're also worried about if something happens to me… You have so many good friends that would protect you even if I didn't ask them to. I hope you know that." I froze. I hadn't thought of that. What if he died? What if I never saw him again. "Now," he commanded softly, "tell me who put these ideas in your head?" He knew. He absolutely, without a doubt, knew.
"I can't stop having this dream about Sephiroth," I murmured, "he tells me I live in a gilded cage and I'm not allowed to ever leave." I held his hand for a long moment, not looking at him. "Axel I..." I felt so scared. "I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you."
He had an unreadable expression on his face for a moment longer. Then he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a warm hug. "I'm not going to die first," he promised, "I need to make sure you're okay." His hands cupped my face and he tilted my head up to look into my eyes reassuringly. "But you have to come back to me when its my time or I'm not going. I refuse to lose you, even in the next life." I laughed a little.
"I'll do my best," I promised. He smiled.
"That's more than enough."
"Axel… I've been wondering about something for a while." He hummed softly in interest. I glanced up at him. "If you ever wanted a different life and were to take my last name, would it be easier for us to disappear?" He blinked at me, stunned. I had never seen that look on his face before. Then he laughed, completely breathless.
"Oh… I don't know if that's possible. Even if I could change my name, my family resemblance is uncanny. Our blood isn't the only reason why my grandfather was hellbent on taking my brother and me away from our mother. I look exactly like my father. Who looked exactly like his father." There was a strong bitterness as he told me this, that I didn't see come out of him often.
"I'm sorry…" He frowned down at me.
"You don't need to apologize, it has nothing to do with you," he answered. I sighed, my eyes sliding shut.
"I brought it up. Its my fault you're upset." He tsked softly.
"Baby, you're allowed to ask me things if you want to. You know that." He stroked my hair gently. "Besides, if I hadn't been given this life, I couldn't have saved you." I smiled, despite myself.
"Maybe we would have met in the next life then," I answered. He hummed softly. After another moment, I peeked up at him.
"That's not good enough for me," he told me. "I want you to be mine in every lifetime." I felt my face reddening.
"You what?"
"Every lifetime," he told me seriously, "I will find you and you will be mine." He bit his lower lip. "Does that scare you?" I shook my head.
"I would live a thousand lifetimes if I could love you in each one." He held me for a long moment, stroking my hair affectionately.
"There's something I've always wanted to tell you, but I was always afraid it would scare you…" Our gazes met for a long moment before he looked away.
"You can tell me, its okay," I encouraged him. He bit his lower lip for a moment.
"Roxas I… before I knew you, I had dreams that I was always chasing you and you were always running away from me. I was so possessive and furious that it terrified me. Sometimes I get urges to be that way toward you." Our eyes met and he looked ashamed, "I try so hard not to, because I know what it would do to you if I did that to you too." I smiled at him reassuringly.
"Hey, its just a dream, right? No need to get upset." He shook his head and sighed.
"No, Roxas. It's part of me. I can feel it." I sat up, straddling his hips so we were nose to nose.
"Axe… I know you would never hurt me."
"Oh baby…" he sighed softly. He took my lips and murmured, "Sometimes I really worry because you don't know what I'm capable of." I stared into his eyes seriously. "Even with promising you, it would be so hard to let you go."
"To be honest, I don't know if I could ever let you go either." His eyes widened a bit and he blushed. I pulled his hair as I tugged him into a kiss. "Promise that you're going to be mine in this life and every life," I told him seriously, "and don't worry about leaving me." We got lost in another kiss. He was gasping under me.
"I promise."
"So do I," I breathed. With a gentle smile, he told me seriously,
"Roxas, I don't want to escape this life. There are too many people depending on me. Especially you." I nodded slowly.
"I understand. No matter how we live this life, what matters most is that I'm with you." He smiled at me for a long moment.
"Do you feel better now, baby?" I bit my lower lip.
"I have a strong feeling that you need to watch out for Sephiroth." He kissed me gently.
"I will." I smiled, relieved.
"Then yes, I do."
xXx