Disclaimer: I own nothing from THAT 70S SHOW.

After a nice dinner on Cannery Row, Hyde and Jackie drove down to the beach in the dubious Gremlin for a twilight stroll.

"This is so romantic," she said. "I haven't been on a Pacific beach in such a long time."

"I've never been on a Pacific beach," Hyde said.

"Wanna go wading?" she asked.

"Noooo," he said. She crossed her arms, and sulked at him. "Fine. We can go wading. But just for a little bit."

"Okay!" she said. She took off her flats and hiked up her dress, and he took off his shoes and socks and rolled up his pants. They strolled into the waves, and watched the sun as it began to set.

"The water is kind of cold," Hyde said.

"Warmer than the Atlantic," she retorted. As they walked, they saw kids making sand castles with their parents watching them. A little girl ran up to them.

"Hi!" she exclaimed.

"Why hi!" Jackie said, smiling at her. She looked so angelic.

"Are you from here?" she asked.

"No, we're from New York City," Jackie replied.

"Why are you here?" the child asked.

"Well, we just got married two days ago and now we're on a trip," Jackie answered. The little girl looked at Jackie, and then Hyde, and then Jackie's stomach.

"Don't babies come after you get married?" she asked. Jackie's eyes flashed, and Hyde groaned. Here we go again, he thought.

"Not always," Jackie answered, trying her best to be kind to the child and not strangle her.

"My cousin had a baby without being married," the girl continued. "My parents say she's an abominable snowman." Jackie and Hyde exchanged glances.

"They say that?" Hyde asked.

"Er something like that," the little girl said.

"You mean abomination, Michelle," the very familiar voice said, and Jackie spun around, and was face to face with her freshman roommate. Michelle Gardner. Bitch supreme."Jackie Burkhart?" Jackie was shocked to say the very least.

"Michelle Gardner," she said, and smiled as best she could. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here now with my husband and daughters," Michelle said, and hugged Jackie. "Is this your husband?" Hyde shook her hand.

"Yeah. Hi. I'm Steven Hyde," he said. Michelle thought for a second, and then a look of recognition spread across her face.

"You're THE Steven Hyde?" Michelle asked. "The one who dumped Jackie for a stripper?"

"Well, things change," Hyde said. Michelle laughed that catty laugh, and Jackie felt like she was that intimidated roommate again.

"Oh, I heard a lot about you! Apparently you came around," Michelle said, and looked at Jackie's stomach as well. "And I assume congratulations are in order."

"Oh, I suppose so," Jackie said, holding her stomach defensively, as if Michelle was a crazy lady who wanted her fetus.

"So when did you get married?" Michelle asked, taking little Michelle's hand so she wouldn't fall into the surf and drown herself.

"Two days ago," Jackie stated. Michelle arched an eyebrow, and shrugged.

"Well," she said, smiling politely, "some things don't change." Jackie turned red, and Hyde put an arm around her.

"So Michelle, I heard a lot about you too," Hyde said. "And you're right. Some things REALLY don't change at all." Michelle sort of arched an eyebrow, and looked from husband to wife.

"Well, I wish I could stay, but I need to get Michelle home," Michelle said. "Jackie, you should call me sometime."

"Sure, Michelle," Jackie said. As she and her daughter walked away, Hyde and Jackie were silent.

"Wanna wade some more?" he asked. She shook her head.

"No, I think I want to go back to the hotel and sleep," she said. He nodded, and sighed.

"You know…" he said. "I'm wondering. You think she has more or less plastic in her than a Barbie?" Jackie burst out laughing, and shrugged.

"I've been judged by a child," she said. "Can I sink any lower?"

"Well, that was judgment from The Bad Seed who is the Spawn of Medusa, or so you have told me," Hyde said. "And after those two minutes, I'm inclined to agree with you." She smirked, and shoved him a little bit.

"Steven, you know just what to say," she said. He smiled, and put an arm around her. "When did that happen?"

"…..After saying the wrong thing made me lose you," he said.

"Okay, who are you and what did you do with my husband?" she asked, floored by this sudden mushiness.

"You get a few moments of this throughout our marriage," he said, grouchily. "I'm not making a habit of it, so don't expect it often. Only when you're really low."

"Like when a child calls me a skank."

"She didn't call you a skank, she called you an abominable snowman."

"I don't know which is worse."

"Yetis aren't bad," Hyde said.

"So I should thank my lucky stars that she called me a hairy ape from the Himalayas?" she asked.

"Yep."

"Great."

"Look, let's walk down the beach, watch the sunset, go back to the hotel, fool around, and then sleep," he said.

"Again with the fooling around?"

"Hey, get it in while we can," he said. "Once OUR Bad Seed is born we won't have the time or energy for it."

"So get it while we can because once our CHILD is born we can't get it anymore?" she asked.

"Yep."

"There's the cynical man I married."

"Yeah, romantic Hyde is gone for another ten years," he said. She sighed, and looked back at Michelle and Little Michelle.

"Wait until Barry hears we ran into Michelle Gardner," she mused. Hyde smirked, and slipped his hand in hers. She sighed, and wondered if this honeymoon was going to take a turn for the better and turn into the honeymoon she'd dreamt of when she was a child. The one that didn't involve pregnancy, judgmental six year olds, giant arachnids, and scary cars that felt unsafe. Though, it didn't involve Steven Hyde either. And the fact he was there made up for it all. Well, most of it anyway.

"Ow!" he exclaimed. She was pulled from her thoughts, and saw Hyde jumping up and down on one foot. "Dammit!"

"What happened?" she asked.

"I stepped on a shell!" he exclaimed, and pulled a sharp shell out of his foot. As his foot began to bleed, and as she helped him to the car, she groaned. Few people's honeymoons live up to their expectations, she kept telling herself.

Barry walked into the main room the next morning, and pulled the curtains open to let the sun in. The dog was sleeping on the porch.

"Daaaaaaaaamn it," he moaned, and closed them again.

Eric walked into the main room, towards the kitchen area.

"The dog is still out there," Barry said.

"I don't function until I have my coffee," Eric muttered, and turned on the coffee pot. "Wait, the dog is still out there?"

"Yeah," Barry said. "I think we're trapped."

"Can we get to the car at least?" Eric asked.

"I hope so," Barry stated. "So how did you sleep?"

"I slept fine, but Donna was pacing awhile."

"Why?"

"When my Mom called she said that Tommy was already asleep, so Donna couldn't talk to him."

"Uh oh. That must have been heartbreaking."

"Not that she'd admit it," Eric said, and looked back at the coffee pot. "Come on! Come on come on come on!" Barry looked back to the porch door, and pulled the curtains back again. This time there was a man on the porch. Barry cried out, and the man yelled too.

"Hey!" the man called, as he pet the dog. "Don't freak out! I'm just here to get my dog!" Eric walked to the window, and Barry clutched a hand to his chest.

"MY GOD you nearly gave me a heart attack!" Barry exclaimed. Eric opened the sliding glass a little bit.

"This is your dog?" he asked.

"Yeah," the man said. "I'd been looking for him since last night, I was going to come here and ask if you'd seen him. I'm Paul, by the way."

"I'm Eric, this is Barry," Eric said, and the dog looked much friendlier in the daylight. "Your dog gave my wife quite the scare."

"Aww, I'm sorry," Paul said. "Charlie was probably scared cuz he was lost. Tell her sorry for me."

"We will," Eric said.

"Say, are you friends with the Burkharts or did they sell this place?" Paul asked."Oh, we're kind of friends I guess," Eric said. "Donna, my wife, is really good friends with their daughter, who is on her honeymoon right now, and Jackie offered to let us stay here for a couple days."

"I gotcha," Paul said. "Man, I haven't seen Jackie since I stumbled onto this property while hunting when I was fourteen. She was a spitfire, even at ten. You know, one summer when she was fifteen I tried wooing her, but she had none of it. I guess she was kind of picky."

"She still is," Barry said, eyeing the dog on the back porch.

"Would you like to come in for some coffee?" Eric asked.

"Nah, I best be on my way," Paul said.

"Oh, okay. It was nice meeting you."

"You too. And, again, sorry for the scare," Paul said. "And you tell Jackie next time you see her that Paul Ramsey says hello." He winked, took Charlie by the collar, and walked off the porch and back towards the road.

"Can you say creepy?" Barry said as the door was closed.

"Ah, he was nice," Eric said.

"He bred that satanic dog, he can't be THAT nice," Barry said, pouring them coffee. "And why did he feel the need to tell us he tried to get with Jackie? When she was fifteen?"

"Come on, Barry, if you were straight you'd want to get with Jackie," Eric said. "Everyone wants to get with Jackie. Hell, the first time I met her, I wanted to get with Jackie. Well, until she opened her mouth."

"You wanted to get with Jackie?" Donna asked, leaving the bedroom. Eric spun around, guilty look on his face.

"For like ten seconds," Eric admitted. "But then it was back to you, baby." Donna chuckled a little, and rubbed her eyes.

"Awww, I'm your silver medal," she said, feigning happiness. "So who was here talking with you?"

"Paul from down the road," Eric said.

"Cujo's owner."

"Paul what?"

"Ramsey, I think."

"EW!" Donna exclaimed.

"What's the ew about?" Eric asked.

"Paul Ramsey!" Donna asked.

"Yeah, I think so."

"He totally tried to get with me one weekend when Jackie and I were up here!" Donna exclaimed. "And Jackie!"

"Okay, I'm sorry I offered him coffee," Eric said, cringing.

"I told you he was creepy," Barry said.

"You didn't tell him I was here, did you?" Donna asked, looking out the window.

"Well… I may have mentioned it."

"GREAT," Donna said. "So now I probably have a stalker."

"He didn't seem to remember you, just Jackie," Eric said.

"So Jackie is more memorable than I am?" Donna asked. "Is that what you guys are saying?"

"I'm not a good judge, I don't notice women that way," Barry said, making a break from the room. She looked at Eric, glaring, and he smiled at her sheepishly.

"I'll blame this all on your hormones," Eric said.

"I should be the one blaming you!" Donna exclaimed. "First you want to get with Jackie-!"

"HOW many years ago was that?" Eric demanded. "Like fifteen or something?"

"Then that creepy hunter is skulking around our cabin!" Donna continued. "Barry! We're going out!"

"Out where?" Barry called from the bedroom.

"We're going for a walk in the woods!" she said, shot one last look at Eric, and grabbed her coat and boots.

"Ha! Like hell I am!"

"MOVE IT!"

"Okay okay okay!" Barry exclaimed, and began grabbing his coat and hat and mittens. He ran out into the front room and followed Donna outside. "See ya, Eric. Hopefully it won't take too long."

"When she's this mad it could be hours," Eric stated.

"Not with me complaining it won't be," Barry said, following her.