Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with THAT 70S SHOW, but Barry is mine and I love him so!

Hyde woke up to Jackie vomiting in the bathroom. He sat up, rubbed his eyes, and turned on the T.V.

"Jacks, the weather should be great today!" he called.

"Wooooo," she responded. He heard the toilet flush, and she left the bathroom, looking generally miserable.

"Wanna go to the beach?" he asked.

"I want to yank my stomach out of my body and be rid of this morning sickness," she said. "Steven, this honeymoon isn't going right at all!"

"What are you whining about?" he asked, turned down the T.V.

"I wanted a perfect honeymoon and nothing is going well!" she whined. "Everyone we meet thinks I'm a whore, our car is a deathtrap, your foot had a shell imbedded in it, and now I'm puking my guts out because our baby doesn't like continental breakfasts!"

"… If it makes you feel better my foot isn't as bad as you make it out to be," he said.

"No, cuz then I'm not right," she sulked.

"Jackie, come on, it's just the first night. We have two more days here, and that means we have a lot of time to turn it around," he said. "We're going to the beach today, tomorrow's the aquarium, and then we go home to New York the day after that. You're supposed to be the eternal optimist, I'm getting tired playing this role. It isn't me."

"Well you may have to play it in the coming months the larger I get," she said. "Oh GOD this is my last hurrah!"

"Okaay, it's time to get on your swimsuit and get to the beach," he said.

"I don't think I should go to the beach today," she said. "I have bad vibes all around me, I can't be good news for anyone, especially beach goers."

"Come on, Jacks, we're in Monterey, California," he said. "We'll go to Santa Cruz, go on the boardwalk, I'll win you something, we'll go shopping…"

"You'd seriously let me go shopping in Santa Cruz, WITHOUT complaint?" she asked.

"… If it will shut you up about your bad vibes or whatever, I will go shopping with you in Los Angeles."

"Really!"

"Nooo!"

"Fine! Okay, I'll get my swimsuit on and we'll go to the beach," she said.

"Well don't make it sound like a chore," he said as she walked to the dresser drawer.

They got to Santa Cruz at eleven, and Jackie rubbed suntan lotion all over her visible body. Hyde held up a camera, and she posed as he took her picture.

"I do want to get a tan while we're here," she said, laying back on the blanket.

"Aren't you going to get in the water?" he asked.

"No! There are sharks in those waters," she said, putting on her sunglasses.

"You're cracked. You are more likely to die from a bee sting than die from a shark," Hyde said, sitting on the blanket next to her. "And lighting. Hell, you are more likely to die in childbirth than…" She raised her sunglasses, eyes wide.

"Forget that last statistic," he said. She nodded curtly, and pulled the sunglasses down again. "All I'm saying is that you aren't going to get eaten by a shark if you go swimming for just a little while." She sighed, and rubbed her stomach a little bit.

"I'm gonna go for a dip," Hyde said. "You are free to join me whenever." She nodded, and he dove into the surf. She played with the sand, and looked up at the sky. At least I've protected myself against burning, she thought, and smiled to herself. She stood up, and walked to the water. She dipped a foot in it, and then walked into the water up to her waist. She looked around, and didn't see Hyde anywhere.

"Where did he go off to?" she muttered, as something grabbed her ankle. She screamed, and Hyde popped out of the water, laughing. "Oh you aren't funny!" She hit him a few times, and he laughed more.

"Aw come on, it was funny," he said.

"You KNEW I was afraid of sharks and you played that mean trick!" she snapped, folding her arms and turning her back on him.

"Take a joke, Jacks," he said. "I didn't think I would have scared you that badly."

"Well I was scared," she said, and turned around. She smiled a little bit. "Besides, I was gonna do it to you." He chuckled, and wrapped his arms around her.

"See, you still have a sense of humor," he said, and they sat in the surf.

"So Steven, what's your favorite memory of us?" she asked, playing with the sandy floor.

"Girls always ask this and guys never have an answer," he said.

"Oh come on," she protested. "It's out honeymoon. You and me, best memory, go!"

"Valentines Dance the night you said you loved me," he said.

"Another mushy moment for Mister Steven Hyde!"

"Damn, those just keep slipping out!" he said, splashing her a little bit. "Fine, but it's your turn now. Give me your favorite memory of us. If you're forcing me down memory lane, I'm taking you with me."

"Well, probably when you defended my honor at Red's BBQ," she said. "Cuz it was then that I knew you did love me."

"It's sad how our favorite memories are back from high school," he said.

"Well, to be fair we didn't talk from the end of 1979 until December," she stated.

"Yeah, I guess," he stated. They kissed, and he brushed wet hair from her face.

"And now we're marrieeed," she sang. "I finally got you."

"Took you long enough."

"But I eventually won," she said. "And that's what marriage is all about. The fight for power."

"That sounds like something I'd say."

"You're rubbing off," she said. "Wanna go back on shore? Maybe go shell hunting?"

"Sure," he said. "We can get back in the water later." She grinned, and they swam back to the beach.

They got their towels, and dried themselves off. Right before Jackie and Hyde could put their towels away, they noticed that everyone was on the beach, and no one was in the water. They looked at each other, and a woman ran up next to them.

"Hey, what's going on?" Jackie asked. "Why isn't anyone in the water?"

"It's so scary!" the woman said. "Someone saw a shark over by those rocks!" She pointed, and Jackie and Hyde realized that they had just been in those rock beds not three minutes before that.

"What kind?" Hyde asked, softly.

"Great White," the woman said. "Big too! They're closing the beach now!" Jackie looked up at Hyde, who put his arm around her shoulder.

"Wanna go shopping?" he asked. She nodded quickly. But before he could stop her, she grabbed the camera and ran down the beach. "Where are you going!" He followed her, and she held up the camera. She took a picture, and whooped.

"I got a picture of it!" she exclaimed, pointing. There was indeed a fin poking through the surf. "In our scrap book I'm labeling that 'and here's the shark that almost ate us because Steven wanted to go swimming in the RED TRIANGLE!'"

"Jesus you're morbid, let's go," he said, and she wound the camera again. "Jackie!"

"Okay okay okay," she said. "Besides, shopping is better than near death experience any day."

"With you, I'm willing to contest that," he stated.

------------------------------------

"Can you believe Eric?" Donna asked as she and Barry walked through the woods.

"Are you still mad?" Barry asked.

"Yes."

"Now is it a reasonable anger, or a displaced anger?" Barry asked. Donna shot him a look, and continued walking. "I think it's the latter, since you didn't answer me."

"I just can't believe that he thought Jackie was cute!" Donna said. "When we met her she was a scrawny little fifteen year old!"

"Hey now, that's my best friend you're talking about," Barry said. "And yours too… What's that about?" Donna sighed, and stopped walking. She sat on a log, and put her hands to her head.

"It's not about her," Donna stated. "Okay, so I didn't get to talk to Tommy last night. I think that's what's bothering me."

"That's what I figured," Barry said, sitting next to her on the log. "Hey, call him when we get back to the cabin."

"It's not just that," Donna said. "He's growing up!"

"He's two, Donna, he's not going off to college," Barry said, putting an arm around her shoulders. "You still have lots of years left with him. And this other one."

"I know, but he didn't want to talk to his mommy," she said. "He wanted to play catch with Red instead of hearing my voice."

"Kids love catch."

"They love their mothers too!"

"Lordy. If Jackie is anything like this as a mother I am going to slap her around," Barry stated.

"Why not me?" she asked.

"Haven't known you long enough, I don't have that right," Barry said. "Look, call Tommy when we get back."

"I was such a bitch to Eric."

"He's used to it I'm sure."

"Thanks a lot!"

"Oh you know what I mean," Barry said. "Okay, so it's cold out here. What say we go back to the cabin and enjoy the hot tub?"

"I can't get in it, I'm pregnant," Donna said, glumly.

"You can soak your feet," Barry said, raising his eyebrows at her. She smiled, and nodded.

"I guess so," she said. "Okay, let's go back." They got up, and began following their footprints back towards the cabin.

Then they heard a noise.

"What was that?" Barry asked. Donna stopped, and listened.

"I don't hear anything," she said. Barry put a hand on her shoulder, and the rustling though the woods got more distinct. "Okay, I heard that."

"We're in the middle of nowhere," Barry said. "Who could have come out here?"

"Do you think it's Paul?" Donna asked, voice slightly above a whisper.

"His dog would be out here too," Barry said. "Oh my God. What if it's Big Foot!"

"That's the dumbest thing I've every heard!" Donna hissed. "For one thing, Big Foot has only been spotted in the Pacific Northwest, NOT Wisconsin. For another, Big Foot doesn't exist!"

"How do you explain all the sightings then?" Barry hissed back.

"It's not Big Foot!" she said, and Barry nodded. "… Though it could be a bear."

"CHRIST!"

"Quiet!" she exclaimed, clamping a gloved hand over his mouth. "If it is a bear, we don't want to attract attention to ourselves."

"What do we do?" Barry asked. "Run?"

"No, we could get lost."

"We have our footprints."

"If we run around aimlessly they won't do us much good," she said, sternly. The noise got closer. "But then, staying here may not be a good idea either."

"GOD, you had to go on a hike!" Barry exclaimed.

As they were about to freak out and play dead, the perpetrator came through the woods. It was just Eric.

"Okay, you can be mad at me all you want!" he snapped, pointing at the surprised Donna. "And you can sulk all you want too, that's fine! I'm used to it! You're NUTS when you're pregnant! But I won't let you take the only companion that we have with you into the woods so I have to sit at the cabin alone playing solitaire! Got that?"

"Oh Eric!" Donna exclaimed, hugging him, relieved that it wasn't Bigfoot. Just her husband. Eric was confused, and hugged her back.

"Yeah, that's right," he said, and Barry exhaled. "What?"

"We thought you were a bear," Barry said.

"No, you thought he was Bigfoot," Donna stated, still hugging Eric.

"Well, I'm neither of those," Eric said. "Look, let's all go back to the cabin, have some lunch, and maybe we can start this day over. Hell, Donna, why don't you try Tommy again today?"

"I'm calling him as soon as we get back, after we were nearly killed by a bear I want to hear the sound of his voice," she said, walking ahead.

"I'm not a bear!" Eric exclaimed. He turned to Barry. "Hormones, man. You're lucky you don't have to deal with pregnant women."

"You're joking, right?" Barry asked, walking with him. "I'm business partners with one."

As they got back to the cabin, Barry and Eric and Donna were talking freely, when they noticed that another car was in the driveway, and the front door was open.

"What the hell?" Donna asked. "Eric, didn't you lock the door!"

"I did!" Eric hissed, as they all ducked in the bushes. "I don't know how whoever this guy is ever got in!"

"So first almost dying in the woods, now we're being robbed!" Barry said. "Great. Yeah guys, fun idea for a trip."

"Hush!" Donna hissed. "Wait a minute. I recognize that car. But where have I seen it? I swear to GOD I just saw it recently too…"

"Jack, darling!" a voice said, coming towards the door. "I do hope you don't think that I'm getting the rest of the bags.

"Oh jeeze," Donna said, recognition entering her mind. Barry sat up, and Pamela Burkhart walked down the steps towards the car.

"And have you found any ID of the intruders?" she called back. "Or do I have to get the hunting rifle and go into the woods?" Barry leapt up, and waved at her.

"Pamela!" he exclaimed. She turned, and saw the three of them in the bushes.

"Oh my God, Barry!" she exclaimed. He walked to her, and they hugged and shared a European kiss-kiss to the cheeks. "What are you doing here?"

"Didn't Jackie tell you that she said we could use your cabin for the next couple days?" he asked. Pamela thought for a second, and pulled a note out of her pocket.

"You know, when I got this note it made no sense to me, but now I think it does," Pamela said. "Hello, Eric and Dana!"

"It's Donna, but hi," Donna said, as cheerfully as she could. Barry looked at the note, and snorted.

"Dammit, Jackie," he muttered.

"What does it say?" Eric asked. Barry cleared his throat, and read it out loud.

" 'Mom and Dad. I think the cabin should be used this weekend. You redid it and it's going to waste. And yet you didn't redo my room. What the heck? I'm not fifteen anymore! I'll call you when Steven and I get home. Love, Jackie.'"

"She was so cryptic," Pamela said. "So I thought, she's right! We don't use it enough. But I guess she meant you guys were going to use it. She just didn't say that."

"No, she went on a Jackie patented tangent instead," Donna said.

"Well, this is awkward," Eric said, and laughed a little bit.

"Yes it is," Jack Burkhart said, leaving the cabin, martini in hand. "I was hoping for rest and relaxation, away from Chicago for a few days."

"Now Jack, there is an easy solution to this," Pamela said. "We ALL stay at the cabin!"

Barry, Donna, and Eric's stomachs lurched.

"Good idea, I'm not giving up my vacation," Jack said, going back into the house. Pamela smiled and hugged them all. They all smiled as best they could, but these smiles were more frantic than anything else.