His lance fell in swift retribution, cutting down yet another one of the Empire's servants.
"Avenge us."
Each voice bloomed in his mind, cold as ice crystals.
"Our spilled blood cries for vengeance!"
One after another,
"You must destroy Edlegard!"
after another,
"If you really loved us, you would have avenged us by now."
after another.
Edlegard.
He he hated that wretched woman and what she'd done to them, what she was still doing to them even after death. They all looked at him accusingly, their empty stares chilling him to the bone. Their souls still wondered the earth, never able to find peace. His abhorrence just of her name alone was the only flame of warmth he had left to cling to against the cold grip the dead keep on his heart.
Everyone he had ever once loved was dead at the hands of Edlegard. The world he lived in ever since that day had been one endless nightmare from which he was never to be rescued. For every living face, he could only see now the faces of the dead. His family, the innocent people of Duscar, every soldier to have died under his command.
"Why did you let us die?"
The whispers sent a shiver down his spine. In fleeting moments of clarity, he could see the true faces of his comrades, his friends of old. Each and every one of them now watched him with fear growing in the lights of their eyes. They made their best efforts to mask their terror when he was present, but eventually they always faltered in their efforts. Some let slip only a glint of trepidation as he walked by them. Others, he could smell their fear rolling off them as he drew his weapon against their common enemy. Felix had been right all along. He was no lion among his people. He was a Boar Prince. An animal, a savage in need of putting down. But he would not die now. Not until he had her head. He would remain a monster, if that was the cost, until he could bring peace to his family and his people once more. He realized he was thankful his friends feared him. He wished no one to follow this path with him. It was his and his alone to tread.
The soldiers just kept coming in droves with no end in sight. Their numbers hardly mattered to him. Each one was only a step closer to his goal. Most were faces that belonged to strangers which made the task easier at least. There was a small part of himself that still endured and thoroughly deplored the violence of his actions. If he only met outsiders in battle he fared a better chance to maintain his resolve. He breathed for this one singular goal and he would not be deterred. Once it was achieved, he no longer cared what would become of him. In truth, he embraced the hope that in destroying Edlegard, it would cost him his own life in return. In this way the world would be rid of two monsters instead of just one.
He felt the life expel from the soldier before him as he deftly ripped his lance from the fallen corpse. He kept searching the field of battle, hoping to cross paths with the one he searched for so diligently. If he could at least find something or someone to lead him to her location so he could strike her head clean from her shoulders and be done with this ceaseless agony. Up ahead he could see a dark haired figure weaving spells with ease as he tactfully took out each and every one that dared to come against him as if their attempts were an insult to his intelligence.
Hubert.
It had to be him. And where Hubert was, Edlegard was sure to be close by. He hastened his pace, knocking over anybody that stood in his way, friend and foe alike. All were simply obstacles in the way of his true purpose.
"Where is Edlegard?" he roared once he was finally within range.
Hubert, barely flinching to break his stride, whirled around to face his newest opponent and instinctively blasted him with a magic infused burst of fire.
He barely reacted in time to dodge the attack that was so precisely dealt to him. The ground beneath his feet minutes before was now ash and soot. This was going to be harder than it looked. No matter. He would prevail. His family demanded it be so.
"Ah, Dimitri. It's been a while hasn't it? You truly have fallen from your former glory haven't you?" Hubert scorned. Gaining no rise from his words he ventured further. "You must take me for a fool if you think I would so easily impart to you the location of my Emperor to one such as yourself."
"If you will not aide me in my quest, then I have no use for you. Prepare to meet your death you sniveling cur!"
Dimitri held his lance with the grip of a vice and launched himself forward, the bloodlust burning like wildfire in his chest. He dodged the masterfully crafted attacks hurled in his path as, perilously, he made his way closer and closer to his enemy. The closer he came, the more he was unable to dodge, so instead he was forced to absorb the blasts as each one rained down upon him leaving him with the sensation that he had been ripped open from the inside out. He was but a mere arm's breadth away from striking his foe with the full force of Areadbhar when he heard someone scream louder than the dead still chanting in his ears.
"Dimitri! STOP!"
Byleth.
What was she doing here? He was sure she had been positioned to the other side of the battle at the consequence of his own request when the battle strategy had been made days beforehand. He had wanted her far removed from him so she couldn't see him nor hinder the mission he had to fulfill.
"We need him alive!" she pleaded from only a few yards away.
His hesitation lent him no favours, as he felt the blast of yet another attack, this time sending him sprawling onto the ground. Byleth, knowing it to be quite a feat to knock Dimitri off his feet, rushed the distance to his side to see if he was injured.
"Dimitri, are you-"
"I'm fine." He refused to look her in the eyes. He couldn't bear it.
He couldn't bear the pity she always seemed to harbour with every glance she stole at him. She was the only one left to ever look at him unafraid. Byleth. His teacher, friend, his...no. He couldn't afford to feel the way he did about her. She didn't deserve it. What was the love of a monster, a boar, worth to one such as her? No. He already gifted enough ill fortune to everyone around him. He would deal swift justice to Edlegard and leave the monastery once his family received the lasting peace they deserved. He would live on his own where he could no longer hurt anyone anymore until the day his final breath left him.
"It seems your professor still has to clean up after your mess, Dimitri." Hubert gave hime a sly grin as he crossed his arms in ridicule. "When are you to ever grow up, child of Faerghus?" He held his fingers aloft, the dark magic energy swirling and sparking between them.
"Get out of here, Professor," Dimitri pulled himself up and stared into the eyes of his sworn opponent venom lacing his next words. "This one's mine." He took up his lance once again as he made to charge the villain before him.
He felt her pull against his shoulder. Her touch was enough to halt his course but he was taken aback by the determination in her grip. His anger was broiling, but he would stay his strength long enough to prevent her potential injury.
"We're facing him together."
She stared at him unflinching with a fire and resolve he had only witnessed when watching her defend her friends in battle. He knew her to be as stubborn as himself so there wasn't much he could do to stop her at this point without hurting her and giving Hubert the edge he needed to win. A grunt of frustration was all he could muster to reply with.
Byleth took up her sword once more, carefully circling Hubert so he would be forced to split his attentions in two different directions of potential attack at once.
"You think attacking me on both sides will somehow hinder me in crushing the both of you? This is child's play." In an instant, Hubert disappeared before their eyes.
Led by instinct, Dimitri twisted around placing himself back to back with Byleth just as he had done before on many occasions in the days of old. He knew he could rely on her to always watch his blindspot in any situation. They had barely the time to get in formation when Hubert suddenly revealed himself once more, staying just long enough to hurl a gust of magically laced winds that sought to shake their footing but gained minimal success. Seconds later he was back, this time hurling a blast of fire powerful enough to singe the ends of their clothing. He continued relentlessly raining down a range of magically induced attacks, often bringing Dimitri and Byleth to their knees from the taxing punishment placed upon them. Dodging was the only hope they had of survival, and with the potential of an attack coming from any visible and invisible direction, their odds were slim.
Dimitri couldn't keep track of him despite his best efforts. Each failure filled him with rage. This was time wasted, energy spent for naught. If Byleth had just stayed on the other side of the battle as he'd originally planned, he could have finished off Hubert a long time ago. He was nearing exhaustion while playing this fruitless game of Hubert's. It was time to finish this. As if by a sudden stroke of luck he saw it. At last his chance had come. Breathless, Hubert stood but a few feet away. So it seemed unabated magic did have it's price after all. All power required energy and his was far spent it seemed. Hubert didn't notice that Dimitri was so close or Dimitri was sure he would have been regaled with more nonsense of how inferior he was to the might of Hubert's magic.
Dimitri gripped his one and only true companion in this war, Areadbhar, and with a petrifying war cry he plunged his weapon straight into his enemy's cold and calculating heart. He ripped the lance from it's disgraceful lodging with a gleeful smile of triumph. This would crush Edlegard once she learned her lifelong vassal lay dead, never to execute her will ever again.
His eye suddenly twitched as his vision began to blur. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying desperately to blink away the fuzziness growing around him. He opened his eye once more, his vision returning with each passing moment.
"Dimitri..."
The voice was weak. So very weak.
He heard the chuckle a few feet away. But who would laugh at the departed villian at his feet? His family? Their apparitions all looked at him in unexpected silence.
He looked down at his feet to behold his fresh kill. There, in a fast forming pool of blood, lay Byleth.
Byleth? But how? She was at his side but a moment ago. He Hubert deceived him with magic?
Or...or was his blood lust so great he has mistaken her for the enemy? He looked to his lance, still slick with blood. Blood that was on his hands. It was him. He had done this. He could never wash this stain off of him. Not if he begged forgiveness a thousand years.
Oh goddess above.
What had he done?
Fear, so sudden in it's conception, gripped his heart like a vice. A blood curdling scream rested at the edge of his lips as the weight of what he'd done descended down upon him with a ferocity unbeheld.
It was in the next moment he was awake, fighting for breath.
His chest heaved struggling for purchase of the plenteous air all around him. He couldn't seem to breathe.
Where was he?
What had happened?
His hands. No. They were perfectly clean of blood and grime. Only calloused from his continued years of training. Only trembling from the panic his vision bequeathed him. All around him lay the semi-darkness of another long night.
Another dream then. Each one dealt him the crippling sensation he was in the presence of reality. In each one, he was a murderer. He knew to wake each night drenched in terror and sweat was a punishment far lighter than he deserved. Shame rested on him like a blanket, leaden and oppressive.
He rolled his neck around, working the tension out of his body as best he could. His breath came still in ragged bouts, but it was slowing down to a normal pace again. There was no way he was sleeping now. At least not for a while.
Carefully, he got out of bed and reached for his eye patch to cover the abyss that lingered where his right eye once was. It was only one scar of many that endured as a constant reminder of what lengths he had been willing to go to in the name of vengeance. Not many people had ever seen him without it and even though it was still dark out, he didn't wish to frighten anyone. Not anymore.
The chill of the night air clung to him more fiercely now that his shirt was doused in a cold sweat. He didn't even bother to change. What was the point? If he did manage to sleep again, doubtless he would awaken once more in a similar fashion.
He pulled his jacket from a nearby chair, one he had so carelessly tossed aside after training only hours earlier. It carried the symbol of the Blue Lions, his house from years past. It always reminded him of simpler times, days that listed in his memory in a summer haze. Shrugging it on didn't make him feel warm, but he was no longer shivering at least. He slipped out of his dark and vast room and made his way to where he always did when he'd already used up all his available turns for training past midnight. The balcony overlooking Fhirdiad.
This time he decided to take the long route. He always tried his best to never take the same path twice during his nighttime ramblings. He didn't wish for the entire castle to know how restless his mind was every night, although he was sure most everyone knew already. He had encountered many of the notoriously loose lipped maids and servants retiring to bed just as he was beginning yet another round of sleeplessness. Rumours and gossip was always sure to grow and spread anytime a large amount of people were amassed together in any location. Despite knowing his tactics to be surely in vain, he took pleasure simply in the act of moving. It was one of the few ways he knew to keep his uneasy heart still.
Each guard he passed gave him a small curt nod, a silent promise to tell no one of his whereabouts. They had all witnessed him night after night but none had dared to intrude upon his privacy. He appreciated their silent vow of secrecy more than would could hope to say.
He swung open the double doors leading out to the balcony where before him lay an entire kingdom currently dependent upon his every governing command. He had been in a position of authority nearly his entire life and he had always known he would become king if ever he lived long enough to ascend the throne. But this was so much more command than he had ever held in any time past. At merely his word, he could send the entire sleeping town below him into a frenzy to do his bidding. The thought made him shudder. He didn't think any one man or woman had the right to dictate the lives of thousands. War had made him sick. Sick of heart and mind. No one should be exclusively at the mercy of one that stood a chance to fall to such depths as he had. Five years had past since he last took up his lance in the name of a cause. He prayed he may never be called to do so again.
The kingdom below lay peacefully dreaming as he, their once wayward son, gazed upon the sleepy village glad for the new found peace secured for his people. He breathed in deep the cold night air and let the chill slow the tendrils of anxiety from weaving it's way further inside of him. It was still there, gnawing at him little by little. Training seemed to be providing less and less refuge from his thoughts these days. Not much else could be done at this hour without him branding someone else with the loss of sleep equivalent to his own. No. He'd troubled everyone enough in the past. He would no longer burden anyone else with his worries so long as he could manage his problems on his own.
"Trouble sleeping?"
He smiled to himself at the sound of the voice behind him. He didn't even offer to turn around as he released a quiet sigh. He could never get anything past her.
He barely registered the soft patter of her bare feet against the smooth stone floor as she came to stand beside him, her hand rubbing his back in a soothing motion. Just the feel of her touch brought him a trembling sensation of peace. Far more tranquility than he dared hope to deserve.
"I thought surely this time I had slipped away without disturbing you, but alas I have failed once again I see." He took her hand, so delicate and warm, in his own. "You looked so serene in you sleep. I hated the thought of waking you." He kissed the soft flesh of the dorsum of her hand as feeble offering for the gift of her presence.
"We've been together five years now Dimitri. There's not a night that passes in which you can sleep fully until the sun's rising." She cradled his face with her remaining hand, stroking his face gently as if she could wipe away all the worry and pain he still bore. In truth, her gesture came close to it's intended goal, but nothing so deeply rooted as this could fade with a simple touch.
"And every night you always seem to find me." He smiled at the memories. "Once I was fool enough to believe it was because the worries you carried chased away the pleasantries of sleep as they do for me still. But now I am not so sure. Tell me, my beloved. Why have you haunted these halls alongside me all these many years?"
She blushed under his watchful gaze. What light that was present, danced brightly in the reflection of his azure coloured eye. His golden hair still hung somewhat in the way of his vision as it once had years ago, but he had long since shorn off the squalid locks he had once possessed. It had been a bit like shedding off a layer of the man he'd once been and no longer wished to remain.
"I didn't want you to feel alone." She paused. Then the words came faster. "All those years since what happened in Duscar you had kept what friends and family you had left at arm's length. You never let them know the true depths of how you felt. I thought perhaps it was in part because no one dared to ask, since you were considered to be of a higher estate. I wanted you to have a place of refuge in your darkest times in case no one else would offer to come to your aid. And it's not likely anyone would even know to come seek about your well being at this hour."
A small laugh escaped him in spite of himself. The castle was always on some kind of schedule so an impromptu assembly in the middle of the night would conflict with almost every one living within his home.
"I just," she continued, "I just wish I could find some way to bring you true peace after all this time. That's all." The half smile she gave him warmed him more than any homely hearth ever had.
Unsure of what to say, they both remained silent, gazing out into the cold night as the moon cast down an ethereal light over the world beneath them. It's power was soon fading as the early cusp of dawn was looming but a short time away. He could feel her lean into him as they stood together drinking in the wonder of the world at their feet. He looked down to see her resting against his chest, her eyes half closed in sleep, tendrils of mint coloured hair dancing in the gentle breeze.
Goddess above, how had he managed to ever be graced with her loving affection?
The very first day he'd met her he had felt a tugging at his heart. Something so very human had encompassed him. A sensation he had thought to be impossible after experiencing so much loss. He had secretly hoped she would choose to join his house and even more in awe of the fact that she actually did. Her beauty and grace in battle alone had smitten him long before he would be granted the privilege to know her so intimately and forge a more meaningful bond with her. As he got to know her in those early days he realized how much alike they were and how persistently different. Like two sides of the same coin. He had desired all the more for a reality where they could have encountered each other in a time of peace, when his heart had still been whole and he could've been the man she had truly believed him to be. He knew then he had to keep his distance or she would learn his awful secret. But every invitation to tea, every meal they shared, every chance at a simple conversation in quiet, he could never bring himself to say no. He had almost made known his true desire at the Goddess tower during the ball. The words had just slipped right off of his tongue before he realized what he was saying. He'd scrambled for a way to make it seem like he had only meant it in jest, fearing her scrutiny. But when he realized she seemed hurt to think he didn't want to be with her forever, his heart had shattered at the devastation he'd caused. He wished he had but for a moment the expertise Sylvain always possessed when it came to speaking sweetly to girls. Perhaps she like him as much as he had always hoped.
But when Edlegard revealed herself at last, he could no longer keep in check his feral desires for revenge. On that day, ten years ago now, he lost both of the defining young women of his life. Byleth, the woman he loved, and Edlegard, the sister he loathed with all of his being, slipped once more from his grasp. Those five years he courted Byleth's absence. That time was nothing in his memory now but shadow and darkness. It was broken lances, splintered shields, and hands soaked in blood. Each day darker than the one before it, until as if by a miracle she appeared. This beautiful creature resting now in his arms. Had she never returned to him, he knew for sure his madness would have stretched on, endlessly, until one was found strong enough to put him down like the rabid dog he was. But she had never treated him like that. Not once in the while time they were together. She scolded him, berated him as was his due, but not once did she ever treat him as anything less than human. Her kindness to him truly knew no bounds and for that he would remain forever grateful. How he had ever worked up the nerve to even attempt to ask for her hand in marriage, he still wasn't quite sure. He knew then his errand was that of a fool's. To even entertain the thought that she would want him by her side the way he desired her after what he had done. He had fulled braced himself to be sent away in that moment but he simply could not deter his heart's desire from being spoken aloud. And because of it, here she was now willing to loose a bit of sleep just to be with him through his darkest moments in the night.
She had never asked him about his dreams in the whole of their time together. "Some things are too hard to speak aloud," she had said when he had asked her once why she had never been curious enough to pry into the reason for his continued insomnia. She had been right. Some nights he couldn't bring himself to even utter the words. She had chosen to share her life with him no matter what. The ring glinting on her finger was constant reflection of that choice. He felt he owed it to her to at least try. Even if it was just for tonight.
"The nightmare...it was about you."
She twisted in his arms, large green eyes turning to peer into his.
"What happened?" she asked, her stare curious and intent. He shied away from her look and focused instead on a damaged corner of the floor, garnered certainly from some past war.
"Do you remember when we fought Hubert in the battle of Gronder?"
"Yes, I-" her intake of breath was sharp. "Oh, I see."
She stood still, eyes cast downward as if pondering her next words carefully.
"But I was fine overall. Hubert's illusion stood taller than me so your lance fell nowhere vital. Ashe's arrow deferred Hubert from being able to attack and Mercedes was not far so she was able to completely heal me with relative ease." She massaged the wound as she relived the moment of it's delivery once more. "Well, for the most part. It still aches from time to time. But so does a thousand other scars from a hundred other battles."
"And for that grievance I will always bear some measure of guilt. But in that moment, I knew in my heart that I had killed you. In my quest to avenge the ones I loved, I had killed the one I love. It plagues me still to think how very close I came to losing you and this life we now share together."
"But you didn't." She took his head in her hands and drew him closer to her. "I'm right here. And goddess willing, I always will be."
She pulled him into her kiss, her lips touching his sorrow and driving back the dark like the sun dawning after a long stormy night. He clung to her so fiercely, so tenderly, afraid this was secretly some divine dream that would melt from view the moment he opened his remaining eye. When at last she relented long enough to give them both some air, he reluctantly opened his eye fearful he would be haunted once more, yet she remained, glowing in the predawn light rising behind her.
He smiled fully, brightly, as looked upon the lifeline of his heart. The inner turmoil of his world often felt dark and bleak but he had never realized fully just how much Byleth had been fighting to make his world a place of light again. His joy was etched in every line of his smile, an act so seldom witnessed, it seemed to elate her to full brilliance. She took his hands in hers and guided him to one of the nearby couches to sit as they watched the sun rise together resting in each others embrace.
As she lazed in the crook of his arm, he sweetly whispered an unfeigned "Thank you" and left it to dance in her ear as she slowly drifted into a deeper sleep. The sunrises of Farghus had always been a favourite thing of wonder for Dimitri. They always reminded him that there was still hope left for anyone. Even him. Even in a place as piercingly cold as this, there was still slivers of warmth to be found. He didn't expect to be released from his nightmares in the space of one night, or even a hundred. It was a punishment well earned and deserved. But he had hope that one day with Byleth at his side he would have peace again even if it came only in a handful of moments such as this.
He closed his eye, feeling the traces of early sunlight touching his face in a gentle caress. It was there with hope reborn inside his heart once more and his greatest treasure in his arms, he fell asleep.