They were twelve when they first met.
She remembered that they were the youngest among their cohort to be knighted. She was never one to be good at making friends and she doesn't have many, so she was secretly eager to make friends with someone her age. She remembered taking the initiative and extending a hand out to the boy with olive green eyes and light greyish hair, introducing herself.
"Hello, my name is Jean Gunnhildr. I look forward to working with you."
She remembered the brief look of shock that crossed his face for a short moment, but he recomposed himself almost immediately and shook her hand.
"Nolan, likewise."
She remembered smiling, excited that she had finally made a friend. Her mind fantasized the many ways she would spend her time with a friend her age and can probably understand her on a deeper level. She was hoping that her new friend wouldn't mind befriending someone who is obsessed with swords and chivalry and sticking to an impossibly tight schedule at every waking moment rather than going out to play on the streets like many of her peers are always doing.
She remembered that she was soon proven right, that Nolan was an oddity like her who doesn't act their age. They spend most of their time training and honing their skills whenever possible, acting as if they are always preparing for war when they are now at peace. They are always the first among the knights to wake up at the crack of dawn and always one of the last to retire for the day. It was thanks to their self-imposed strict regime that they followed in their younger days that they managed to become as powerful as they are today. Or in Nolan's words, him trying his best to keep up with her insane training that could only be thought up by a demon from the depths of the abyss.
She remembered pouting at him for insinuating that she is a demon incarnate, but she is still happy that she had finally made a true friend.
She remembered seeing his little sister, Noelle, for the first time. They were both granted a short vacation for their hard work and his little sister was waiting patiently outside the headquarters for her big brother's return. She remembered how excited Noelle had run up and crashed into Nolan with a big hug the moment she spotted him exiting the building, and how happy the siblings had laughed and smiled at their reunion.
She remembered that her heart had ached a little at the sight because it reminded her too much about the estranged relationship between her and Barbara. They never had much time together before their parents divorced and they were separated, her following their mother while Barbara followed after their father.
It was as if he could sense her thoughts or read her mind, because soon the siblings were pulling her down the streets of Mondstadt and soon she was laughing alongside them as her worries temporarily vanished. She soon realised that Nolan's worries were not unfounded, that Noelle is always too naively kind for her own good and it may cause people to take advantage of her generosity.
She remembered him saying that his little sister is his motivation for joining the Knights of Favonius, because she aspires to be a Knight in the future and he is worried that her naive personality will be taken advantage of. So, he joined the Knights, hoping to be of use to her in the future, hoping that he can pave the way for her and be someone that Noelle can strive to be and look up to. He admitted that it is a selfish goal and not a very knightley reason to be a member of the esteemed Knights of Favonius, but he has no regrets.
However, she remembered thinking that his goal was a very noble goal. These were her first and honest thoughts when she first heard his admission on why he decided to join the Knights, because he became a Knight solely because of his love and concern for Noelle. In her opinion, that alone is a noble goal in itself.
Then she was thirteen, and it was when she was first starting to be recognised by the people of Mondstadt.
Time passed by so fast that she couldn't really remember how she suddenly turned thirteen. They were promoted two times in the span of a year, something very much unheard of for people their age when they were barely in the cusp of their teenage years and had only joined the knights a year prior. The only other exception to the norm like them would be their senior, Diluc Ragnvindr, but they haven't had the chance to meet him in the flesh because he is almost always outside the city to fulfil his duties.
They carried on with their lives, striving to be the best they could be as they continued polishing their skills and upholding themselves to strict standards as expected of knights from their calibre. Their lives as knights is a hectic and busy one, but also filled with much laughter and joy because she always had her best friend by her side.
Soon, she was fifteen. They both became Captains of their respective squads and they were fifteen when that incident happened.
They were both sent to Dadaupa Gorge as members of the advance party. Their task was to send aid to their comrades at the earliest possible time while the reinforcements behind them tried to arrive onto the scene as soon as possible. What greeted them was a sight of cruel carnage that she would have never imagined even in her wildest nightmares. As a knight, she is no stranger to blood and gore, but never had she ever seen such a sight.
She knew he was being uncharacteristically reckless when he volunteered to be the vanguard and ran ahead without them although like him, she too wished she could join their comrades at the warfront immediately but there are things that still need to be done. Still, she admits that he is right, that he is the best candidate for that extremely risky role of being their vanguard. After what seemed like forever and she finally passed down the instructions to her fellow knights, she charged straight ahead without hesitation towards the depths of Dadaupa Gorge, hoping with all her heart that he is still well and alive.
She remembered being surprised at how far back he managed to push the hilichurls back to where they came from. She passed by many of their retreating comrades along the way and they all said the same thing, that Nolan had somehow performed an act of miracle and single handedly pushed the hilichurls so far back that they are now probably near the second last line of defence instead of the very last line where they were previously struggling to hold. She spurred herself to run faster, and soon she came across him, one person against an angry army of monsters.
She remembered him being soaked in blood from head to toe. She remembered how evident the exhaustion is on his face but yet he is still standing straight and tall amidst the impossible odds with his greatsword in hand. He had always been like this, resolute and firm, unyielding and unflinching, never wavering and never hesitating. That is the Nolan that she had always been looking up to.
She remembered the ensuing battle where their blades danced in harmony, working as one as they assisted each other in fending off the seemingly endless droves of monsters and not allowing the hilichurls to take a single step past them. To date, she still had no idea how they managed that feat and managed to keep battling in that reckless manner without rest, but she clearly remembered when the breeze blew and she heard a faint whisper blowing into her ear.
She swore by her sword that nobody else would come to harm that day. She swore, and the wind answered.
She would never forget that sensation when she harnessed the power of Anemo for the very first time. She would never forget how her newfound powers allowed her to protect not only herself, but also him, their comrades behind them, and also Mondstadt as the gentle yet turbulent dandelion breeze blew and raged across the battlefield. She remembered how he yielded the unwavering power of Geo right after and how they both subsequently managed to drive the hilichurls back to where they came from. She would never forget how they both laughed uncontrollably after they won and their enemies scattered and disappeared from their sights, she would never forget how they kept laughing in both joy and relief as they both leaned on each other because they don't trust their shaky legs to be able to support their weight on their own.
A month later, she was conferred the title of "Dandelion Knight" and he, the title of "Wolfclaw Knight". It was a prestige of the highest honour, very few could boast the same achievements they did at such a young age throughout the long history of the Knights of Favonius.
She's honoured, and she is sure he felt the same way too. Being conferred the title of Dandelion Knight only further strengthened her resolve to be a knight that everyone can look up to and to be a knight that is able to protect Mondstadt.
Still, underneath the strong and resilient mask lies the heart of a young girl who is only fifteen years of age. A young girl who had only just received the title and still wholly unprepared for the task that lay before her. It's been more than a thousand years since Mondstadt's restoration. Does she really have what it takes to be able to continue to protect this ancient and proud land of freedom like their forefathers did? Is she really prepared for this?
She remembered those being her exact thoughts as she stood before the great tree at Windrise right after the conferment ceremony. The title of Dandelion Knight was once held by her childhood hero Vanessa, a title that embodies her legacy of resistance and benevolence. She feels honoured for the title conferment, she truly does, but how is she, a mere fifteen year old girl, be possibly worthy of this title of Dandelion Knight?
"I thought I might find you here."
She turned around, spotting the newly christened Wolfclaw Knight walking up to her in slow unhurried steps. He stood beside her as they both enjoyed the brief silence underneath the great tree and the whispers of the wind.
"Second guessing yourself?"
She remembered that she didn't even bother to hide the sigh that came out from her mouth thereafter. It's always been like this since they were acquainted, he could always read her like an open book.
"You are not the only one. I'm second guessing myself too."
She remembered that her head whipped in his direction after hearing that, feeling so shocked that someone as capable as him is second guessing himself. He is Nolan, the person with strength so great that only Grand Master Varka could possibly rival. He is someone whose skills with a greatsword are so refined that it even earned Diluc's praise. He is someone whose capabilities are not just limited to those required on the field, but also in administrative matters that require his attention back in the city, so much that it garnered Lisa's acknowledgement.
So why would someone perfect like him second guess himself?
He continued to watch the great tree as he spoke.
"I told you a long time ago, didn't I, that my initial motives for joining the knights was because I just wanted to be there for Noelle when she eventually becomes a knight in the future. That is a selfish reason in itself, a far cry from what is expected from a Favonius Knight. As a knight, we must be chivalrous and always willing to sacrifice ourselves, but that's not who I am. So how am I worthy enough to bear such a title, the title of 'Wolf'?"
She understands what he is trying to get at. The tradition of the Knights of Favonius dictates that the titles of 'Lion' and 'Wolf' are reserved for those of great leadership potential. Individuals with such titles will one day assume the position of Grand Master and wholly devote themselves to leading the knights in protecting Mondstadt. From the moment that they were both conferred their respective titles they already knew the expectations that Varka -no, the whole of Mondstadt- had for them. One day, one among the both of them will take over Varka and be the Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius.
But he's Nolan. To her, no matter how and what he says, that his reasons for being a knight is a selfish one, that is untrue. She had been watching him ever since the day that they were knighted and acquainted themselves with each other. Like his sister, he is actually one of the kindest and most selfless individuals she ever had the honour to know. Like Varka, he is one of the strongest knights she ever had the privilege to fight alongside and train with, always throwing themselves headfirst into danger when someone needs help. Like Lisa, he is one of the smartest people she ever befriended. So, somehow, hearing those words being spoken from his mouth sparked a deep disagreement deep down her heart.
She remembered that she found herself shouting at him even before she registered herself doing so.
"That's untrue! You are a worthy knight, always have been! I… I've always looked up to you, always! So stop saying that you are not worthy, because you are! You deserve the title of Wolfclaw Knight! So stop second guessing yourself because it hurts! It hurts me if someone like you second guesses himself too!"
She found herself panting for air when she finished her outburst. She remembered that he looked at her with that gentle smile on his face.
"It hurts for you too? In that case, let me return those same words back to you, my Dandelion Knight. You too, are a worthy knight, always will be, and always have been. I've always looked up to you too, and I would have never got to where I am if it wasn't for you and your hellish training and ungodly discipline. Noelle might have been my reason for joining the Knights, but you are the reason why I managed to persevere till today because you had always been there by my side whenever I was on the verge of giving up. You deserve the title of Dandelion Knight and I'm sure Vannessa will share my sentiments, so stop saying that you are not worthy, because you are. Stop second guessing yourself because it hurts me too, it hurts if even someone worthy like you starts to second guess yourself too."
She remembered that she found herself dumbstruck, speechless, as she stared blankly at him. He… looked up to her too? Her? An imperfect girl who has nothing but doubts in her heart?
She felt the hot wetness welling up in her eyes. She remembered that she started to sob uncontrollably for reasons unknown even to her. She remembered that he caught her in a comforting hug as she bawled into his chest as his large and reassuring hands rubbed soothing circles on her back and whispered gentle assurances into her ear.
That day, she found her goal in life. She will be a warrior as kind and as determined as Vennessa, one that can fight for her people and for their freedom. This had been the true meaning of her simple family motto all along.
She remembered as they both sat underneath the great tree side by side, with her resting her head on his broad and comforting shoulder as they took in the picturesque sight. She remembered the gentle breeze blowing from far away as she felt it flow within her and gently took away her doubts and worries, filling her with determination as unmoving as his resolution. Even till today, whenever she feels weary or unsure, she will come back to stand before this very tree to feel the wind once more. It never fails to relieve her of her fatigue and give her the strength to carry on. This tree might have seen the end of the journey of the first Dandelion Knight, but it also bears witness to the start of hers.
For Mondstadt, as always.
She was fifteen when she found her goal in life.
She was fifteen when she felt that with him by her side, there is nothing in this world that they cannot overcome together.
Being a Master of the Knights is no easy feat. She has to juggle a lot more work and responsibilities that come with the promotion and title. Truthfully, she is grateful that she has Nolan to assist her as a fellow Master because she isn't sure that she could handle it all on her own.
Their working styles are vastly different. She would always marvel at how efficient he is, always able to complete his work flawlessly before the sun sets and rarely need to work overtime. No matter how she tries to cram more in her already tightly packed schedule she could never be able to emulate him. Just how did he resolve his own pile of neverending paperwork?
"You need to not just work hard, my dear Dandelion Knight, but also learn how to work smart."
That was his advice to her when she came clean with him and asked for his input. Seeing how she shook her head, he sighed and explained.
"You need to learn how to delegate work. I know that you feel that your knightly duties take priority and you believe that helping others yourself is the best way to assist, but you need to be realistic. You are the Master of the Knights of Favonius, you cannot be wasting time helping with every small little problem even if it's the right thing to do. If there's one thing in this world that's equal for everyone, it's that there's only 24 hours per day no matter who you are. You need to prioritise your time for the things that take utmost priority."
"But… It's a knight's duty to help others in need."
"I'm not saying that you turn a blind eye to their cries for help, I'm just saying that your method of helping them needs to change and adapt in accordance to your new position," He very patiently explained and she listened attentively. "I'm saying that right now, as Master of the Knights, you need to learn how to delegate work to help others. Person A comes to you to help resolve a problem. Does that problem strictly require a Master to resolve it personally? If the answer is a no, who else is the next best person to send to resolve this issue? Let's say that the person is Lisa, so you send Lisa for the job. Person B comes to you to help resolve another problem, once again you ask yourself: Does it strictly require a Master to resolve it personally? No? Same thing, get someone who's free and suited for the task to help resolve it. You are not the only knight in Mondstadt, Jean, learn to let others do the helping too. We are all oath and duty bound to do so just as you are. Your beliefs and heart is in the right place, but you need to understand that you cannot see to every little problem personally. Your methods need to change or you will inevitably wear yourself out before reaching your full potential."
She did take a while to digest and truly internalise the advice he offered to her, but she does understand.
From that day onwards, the two Masters of the Knights adopted a new working style. She is good at sorting and screening the neverending paperwork that always found their way into the headquarters, he is good at delegating tasks to the knights under their command most suited to the task, so she will sort the paperwork accordingly and then leave it to him to delegate the jobs to their knights. Grand Master Varka let out a hearty laugh at the new change and gave them both a heavy pat on their backs for a job well done, saying that he had never seen such the Knights of Favonius working so efficiently before and his recognition of their efforts made her smile from the bottom of her heart.
If it's them, if it's him and her, then somehow she just knows that they can do it. Together, they can lead the Knights and Mondstadt to greater heights that were never reached before.
Together, they can overcome anything.
She was seventeen, and she remembered that day very clearly.
It had been two years since they were conferred their titles. It was a very busy period for her and she had been working tirelessly from day to night despite her best efforts and his assistance. She's stressed to the bone and she thinks that it is getting painfully obvious from everyone around her.
It all started when she was about to go through another piece of paperwork. It was way past midnight, and she looked up when the piece of paper in her hand was snatched up by a familiar hand, spotting his face.
"Alright, you need a break."
"Nolan-"
"You need a break," he reiterated. "Preferably somewhere far away from here where you cannot do work and will be able to relax enough to not think about work. You are reaching your limit, you know it."
She helplessly looked back at the piles of documents stacked on her desk, then back at him. There's so many things that require her attention, so many things that need solving. The people of Mondstadt need her, their Dandelion Knight, and he is telling her to go on a vacation now of all times?
Still, that was what she found herself in. Somehow or another, Nolan managed to get Grand Master Varka's approval to get her to pack up whatever things she has in her private quarters of the headquarters and swiftly boot her out. She remembered standing outside the large doors of the headquarters in the early morning the next day, dumbstruck by the sudden vacation granted to her and a suitcase containing her belongings in hand.
The… The unresolved paperwork!
She withheld a sigh and unrolled the slip of paper that Nolan had passed over and told her to only read when she's out of the city, which she complied. It contains a detailed set of instructions to reach a very specific place somewhere within Falcon Coast. She was seriously considering ignoring him altogether in favour of going back to complete the unresolved paperwork but he had also foresaw that it might happen, not allowing her to bring any of the paperwork out with her and to also get Noelle to personally escort her out of the city and to Falcon Coast. There was no escape because Noelle eyed her like a hawk the entire duration, intending to fulfil the task that her big brother had asked for her assistance: To make sure Jean goes for her two week vacation at Falcon Coast.
There's no way out of this for her, Nolan had planned her vacation all too well.
So, she decided that she might as well heed his advice and take a break. She headed for Falcon Coast and soon found the comfortable looking hut near the beach, situated at a scenic spot where she can easily enjoy the view and the breeze and also take a swim if she felt like it. She felt touched at the level of detail he put into organising this vacation for her despite the fact that he is swamped with work as well.
The biggest surprise was the other inhabitant of the hut that was already there when she pushed the door open.
"Barbara?"
"M-Master Jean! Um, I mean… big sister..." Barbara mumbled shyly with her hands behind her back, her eyes evasive and not being able to bring herself to say anything else. Jean had always wanted to get closer to her too, but they both shared that all too similar awkwardness whenever they were in each other's presence.
It was then that a thought suddenly struck her. Did Nolan plan this out for her? He knew about how she had always wanted to get closer to Barbara but never knowing how to do so, so is this his way of helping her? A vacation where she can spend time with her beloved little sister, alone and together?
A strange warmness blossomed and filled her heart at the thought of it.
"Hello, Barbara," She greeted, and when Barbara's eyes lit up at the greeting she knew that her sister shares the same sentiment she does, that she too, wants to get closer and know each other better. They have two weeks all to themselves, more than enough time to make up for everything that they had missed in each other's lives throughout these years ever since their parents' divorce.
Thank you, Nolan
Her vacation was a very enjoyable two weeks for her. Barbara is no longer shy around her, always calling her big sister instead of Master Jean whenever they meet. She puts in more effort to clear time out of her busy schedule to spend it with Barbara and she never regretted doing so. She is thankful for Nolan's forceful intervention because she felt so recharged after her vacation and is able to better focus on her work after she returns. Like he reassured her, everything will still be running smoothly when she returns because he will be there to hold the fort. He had kept to his word.
By now, they had both known each other so well that they knew each other's secrets. They had spent a large part of their youth together and will continue to be doing so for the foreseeable future, so it really isn't a surprise that he found out that she is a huge sucker for romance novels. She really shouldn't be surprised that beneath that strong and independent exterior that she masked herself to others lies a girl that yearns for the mutual attraction spoken in stories, especially those emotions written that described them to be as subtle and fragile as spider silk.
Could she one day experience those same emotions too? Those feelings of mutual attraction for another? If so, who would it be?
A certain face with olive green eyes and greyish hair vaguely came to mind but she shook it off immediately whenever it resurfaced. It's not possible. Someone as perfect as him would never…
She took another careful peek at him when his back was turned.
It was then she realised what those feelings of mutual attraction written in those romance novels are all about, those emotions as subtle and fragile as spider silk.
She was seventeen when she discovered romantic love.
She was seventeen when she realised that she had always been hopelessly head over heels for him.