Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or the songs I use in this fan fiction. Thank you.
Author's Note: Yay! Thank you to all who reviewed! XD I was so overjoyed, causing me to go hyper, which in turn caused me to produce another wacky chapter. I'm glad people liked my goofy Riku. I was hoping for that. Well, enjoy the second chapter and don't forget to review.
Warning: Crazy wackiness, dirty talk, strong language, impure thoughts, drugs, and sexual situations.
Enjoy!
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Acquired Taste: Chapter Two 'Why Is It Always Me?'
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Everything was in order and all Kairi had to do was wait for Rikku to get here. The said girl had called only moments before, informing her partner in crime that she would be arriving in a few short minutes. Anticipation gripped Kairi like her Aunt Tifa.
So rough…harsh…and breathtaking, minus the huge boobs thank god. Inappropriate, much?
Nah…
Well anyway, the redhead had decided to hide herself away by going to the front of the restaurant, away from Riku's line of view, and relax in one of their big comfy couches (yes they had couches with little red pillows! Hehehehe! She loved the little pillows!).
Wait. Why was she thinking about couches at a time like this?
Tapping her feet on the newly polished wooden floors, she randomly watched the many couples saunter past her, where they cheerfully or rudely (just depended on their moods) asked for their table. Ahh…the joys of having someone to love…
Belch…what was she saying? She just had to get mushy when she was bored! Brooding over specific topics that would better be left disregarded. She had a mission! She had no time to think about her own love life, but only of her brother's!
He was depressed, heart-broken, in need of someone! And Kairi was more than willing to present him with those things. She was the almighty Kairi Yamada! There was nothing she couldn't do!
She would not be distracted by lovey-dovey thoughts! No siree!
She glanced down at her petite golden wristwatch and let out a tiny sigh. It was a little passed six. Rikku was late.
Leon usually is a slow eater…however, if Riku is going to try to get out of this situation, he's going to be a dickhead, which in turn will piss off Leon. Then he wont want to eat…hmmm…Rikku better hurry up…
Siiiigggghhhh.
Damn, what to do…what to do…eh…bored. Oh! Singing a song always passed the time rather well. Hmmm…what song to sing though…
Before she could honestly think, one popped up in her head like a massive plague.
It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all! It's a small world-AH! NOOOO! DAMN IT! This song would NEVER get unstuck out of her head now!
Unnoticed by the bored girl, a figure dressed in a long brown trench coat, a dark brown cowboy hat, and dark black sunglasses with little sequins along the sides to hide the owner's eyes approached. A quick look to the right, then to the left, before they inched closer and closer towards the dazed redhead.
Inchy. Inchy. Plop.
Abruptly, the cushion dropped another notch, notifying Kairi that someone was sitting with her. She blinked, faced the person, and tilted her head at the curious attire that they were wearing.
When the person only looked ahead, ignoring her completely, she just trained her gaze on her white and pink shoes. It's a small world after all. Eww…was that a smudge of dirt? It's a small world after all! Ah! When would the torture end!
The redhead felt something plop behind her, landing in between the small of her back and the couch cushion, but before she could see what it was, a loud…chirpy voice was heard.
"Ku-Ku to Kairi! Come in!"
Since the voice was so close, she reached her hand behind her and pulled out a small walkie-talkie. She giggled and turned to the person sitting calmly next to her, a walkie-talkie in their own hand.
Rikku never ceased to amaze her…
"I swear you are so weird." Tucking the walkie-talkie in a pocket of her jeans, the redhead pulled the sunglasses from her friend's face to reveal swirling green eyes. Rikku cocked a grin before flashing her friend the peace sign.
"I fooled you didn't I? Hehehehe." The blonde hopped up, doing her own victory dance and getting strange looks directed towards her.
Shaky, Shaky to the left. Shaky, Shaky to the right. And hands up, hands down, and rock from side to side. Pelvic thrust! Whoo! And another one! Whoo! Spin around and touch the ground-
Finally, Kairi had to pull the girl back down into the soft cushions, so she wouldn't attract too much attention. "Rikku! Silly, calm down and save your energy. You have to be on guard when we go sit next to them."
The undercover girl plucked the sunglasses from the other's hand and put them back on. "Gotcha. When are we going in? Oh! Oh! We need code names!"
Shaking her head in disbelief, Kairi shrugged her shoulders in defeat. "Alright. You make something up."
"Okay! Okay! I got one!" Pearly whites flashed from beneath the brown collar of the trench coat and she pointed to herself. "I'll be Ku-Ku-Floopsy Do! And you-" A finger now pointed to the redhead. "You shall be Tie Dye Kai!"
The weird names her friend could come up with. Sometimes…it made Kairi wonder…
"Okay, whatever!" Kairi perked up, realizing they were actually going to do this. Hehehehe! This was just too exciting! Spying on her brother had to be the best thing to do since facials and manicures. It's a small world after all! Damn it, if she didn't get this fucking song out of her head, she was going to go INSANE!
"Let's do this!" Thrusting a fist into the air, Kairi was pumped. "We are going to get those two together even if it kills me!"
Rikku thrust her own fist in the air, mirroring her friend. "Let's do it!"
They stood up together and as the redhead was calmly walking over to the host, Rikku pulled her back and placed something in her hands. "Extra pair of clothes! You can't be looking like that. They know what you're wearing, Tie Dye Kai!"
How could Kairi have overlooked such a major detail? Rikku was definitely coming in handy. "Rikku, I don't know what I would do without you!"
"Hehehehe! Hurry up, I'm excited."
After Kairi changed in the bathroom (which took a matter of five minutes), the blonde handed her partner one more accessory before they headed inside. The smaller girl accepted the extra pair of sunglasses with a small thanks, though she couldn't help but ask:
"What else do you have in that magic coat of yours, Rikku?"
The blonde girl grinned, hunching her shoulders. "It's a secret! Hehehehehe!"
Their plan was underway.
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Sighing in utter boredom, Riku laid his head on the table, ignoring the man opposite of him. The boy was expecting…well…anything besides this horrible silence! When his sister said he had to break the ice…he should have brought a crowbar. Damn, Riku could have swore that he was a statue with his stoic ways.
He had tried talking about the weather, the restaurant, how the older man knew his sister, then finally sex (just to piss him off. Heh.), but NOTHING got him to talk. What the hell was that anyway? Did he just not have an extensive vocabulary? Because hearing, 'Whatever', a billion times for an answer was just slightly peeving Riku off.
B-O-R-I-N-G!
"So…" Despite wanting to get this date over, the silver-haired boy continued to try to talk to Leon. Heh, maybe after awhile he would start getting angry at him for pestering so much. "Those gay books…are those from experience?"
Blankly, Leon centered his gaze on Riku and smirked. "Maybe."
Oooh! So he was hiding something. Interesting…and he was talking! This surely is an accomplishment! CAN HE GET A HALLELUJAH!
"So you're experienced, eh?"
Leon frowned. "Whatever."
Riku was about to BURST! Another conversation down the fucking drain!
"Come on, pervert! Just strike up a conversation for once." Riku sighed dramatically. "Honestly, this date is a bore. Your face bores me, your actions bore me, wait-you bore me. Why don't you say something besides 'Whatever' after every other sentence." Crossing his arms, Riku stuck out his tongue. "Boring perverts."
Leon rolled his eyes and focused his gaze on his sweating glass of water. "Children just don't understand."
Fuming, Riku brought his palm down on the table, causing the tables around them to send them annoyed glares. He didn't give a shit. "Who are you calling a kid, pervert!"
Leon smirked, eyes gleaming with mischief. "You, kiddo."
ARGH! THAT BASTARD!
"Asshole." The younger male crossed his arms in a pout, sticking his tongue out at the man across from him. Obliviously proving how childish he could sometimes be…
They were unaware of two shady characters walking by their table to sit a few tables down from them.
Riku slammed his head back down on the table, watching his glass of tea sweat. Boring…Leon was an ass and Kairi had to get him stuck with a pervert. Can anything else be worse than this!
If only he knew…if only.
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Letting out a sigh of relief, Kairi took her seat opposite of her partner in crime and lowered her sunglasses to take a look at how her brother and Leon were fairing. She could just see Riku with his head down and she only saw the back of Leon's head, but she could guess he was just as bored as her brother.
The date didn't seem to be going very well at all…
Rikku could see this too. "Tie Dye Kai…I think its time for some Ku-Ku-Floopsy Do action!"
Kairi tilted her head, a questioning gleam in her blue eyes. "What do you plan on doing?"
Rikku pulled out a newspaper from her coat and handed it to Kairi, when the redhead opened it there were two small peephole cut into the paper. She smiled, but this still didn't answer her question. However, the blonde began to explain.
"I'll be right back, but keep an eye on them. Hehehehehe. I have an idea that will totally rock!" She lowered her own sunglasses to give her friend a wink, before she went off to do God knows what.
Kairi shrugged her shoulders and spied on her brother through the peepholes. She seriously wondered what Rikku had planned.
However, she would soon be holding in her bubbling giggles once she found out…
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Sneaky. Sneak. Tippedy-toe. Pause. Look to the left. Now to the right. Slide into the break room…
"Hey? What are you doing here?" A oblivious waitress, just Rikku's height, asking oh so bland questions. Why must she sound so sincere?
Hehehehehe. This was going to be fun.
Not too fast…don't make her run away.
…
…
…
NOW POUNCE!
"Ahhh! What are you-hey! Those are mine!"
The plan was still on its way.
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He was going to die. Just fall to the floor in a heap of bones, clothes, and utter boredom and just watch lifelessly as his soul happily skip away from his body. He would die and Kairi would cry…and Leon would still stare at his half empty glass as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.
But that was okay. Riku would die…and he would never have to deal with this boredom again!
CAN HE GET A HALLELUJAH?
Wait…if he fell onto the floor…that would ruin his perfect face, but worse…it would…dirty his hair…
Oh god! He couldn't die now! He couldn't let his beautiful hair down like that!
There had to be something to do…something…anything!
God…I never really ever talked to you unless I wanted something…I'm still waiting for that special 'My Little Pony' doll, but until then I have another favor to ask you! Oh please Lord, please forgive whatever I have done to deserve this sinfully bad date and let something happen.
Thanks and…ummm…if you could you know…speed it up with my doll it would be most appreciated.
Man. How good did it feel to talk to the boss man once in awhile. Oh yeah…
Riku squeezed his eyes shut, crossed his fingers under the table and waited for something miraculously to happen.
A few seconds rolled by…nothing.
A minute…nothing.
Five minutes…nope nothing. Oh! Maybe if he waited for one more minute, his My Little Pony doll would fly in! Think about it…he did say thanks! That was enough to get something good, right?
After another five minutes…it apparently wasn't…
Yeah, if his little pony wasn't there yet then why would God give him something that was impossible?
"What the hell are you doing? You look like you're constipated." The younger male was very much surprised to hear Leon make such a harsh comment, but nonetheless thought this was a little bit of progress, right?
There really was a God!
The silver-haired boy rolled his eyes and dipped two fingers into his tea, flicking the wetness onto the man opposite of him. "Shut up, pervert. No one asked you."
The gruff brunet shot Riku a cold glare, not too appreciative of the brown liquid dangling off the tip of his nose. "Whatever."
DAMN IT! THIS WAS SO USELESS!
"Gah! Where's the fucking waitress?" Pouting and crestfallen for not getting anything he asked for (he wanted his goddamn pony for crying out loud), Riku picked up his shimmering spoon and checked his reflection, trying to occupy himself from this boring dinner date.
Oh yeah. He looked so good. Uh huh. Check him out. Pearly whites, gorgeous eyes, oh! Don't forget the perfect hair. Fuck yes! This was the life. Being so beautiful had to be his sin…maybe that's why God wasn't listening to him in the first place and-
"Lalalalala!" Interrupting his train of thought, the waitress finally appeared, although she wore suspicious looking sunglasses. But Riku was just thankful this dinner date was moving along. Seriously, did anyone have a gun? No wait…that would just ruin his hair. Damn it! Was there no way to kill himself without flawing his beauty?
Guess not…
"G'day mates! I'm Gen 'n' I'll be glad to take your order!" Placing two menus in front of the two unsuspecting people, the waitress cracked a grin and made sure her Australian accent was just perfect. Although, the two before her had no clue what was going on.
Oh yeah! She was so good! She could so be a spy and totally make a killing off of it. How much could she really make? Ha! She would be a millionaire before she turned twenty three! Sweet! Yeah and her current code name could so be her spy name, but wait…wouldn't that be weird? Nah, but if the spy job didn't work she could always be a ice cream vendor! Oh yeah! And then she could put little clothes on the ice cream cones so they looked adorable enough to eat. OOOH! That was soooo a cute idea and-
"Finally!" Throwing his arms up to emphasize his point, Riku scanned through the menu quickly and threw out his order to the distracted girl. "And hurry up with the soup, I want to get this over with as soon as possible."
Leon grunted, nodding his head in agreement. "I'll have the same as him and if you could, bring out a cup of black coffee."
The waitress snapped out of her daze long enough to write down the order and take the menus from the two. "Sure, would that be all?"
The two nodded and the waitress skipped off joyfully, earning stares from other tables in the restaurant.
In the background, Riku could just hear someone insanely giggling, but when he searched for the culprit, he found…
Nothing. Everyone was calmly eating their food and one was even reading the newspaper. Man, everyone seemed to be having a nice time…besides himself of course.
"Hey perv. Will you just say something?" Running a hand through his silken locks, Riku let out a pleading little noise, causing Leon's brow to raise just a tad. "Seriously, you have got to be the worst date I have ever been on."
Grunting, Leon rolled his eyes. "I don't talk to insulting people, much less some kid who thinks he's the shit."
Blink. Blink.
Well…that wasn't what he was expecting.
"Hey! You barely know me, stupid pervert." Crossing his arms in a pout, Riku made a mental note to remain silent for the rest of the date. Stupid old pervert…what a bastard.
Two seconds later, the waitress appeared with their soups. She grinned, carefully sliding the silver-haired male's in front of him with a meticulous gleam in her eyes, though they were fortunately shaded with the stylish sunglasses. She giggled. " Enjoy 'n' if you need anything else, just ask for me!" With that said and done, she skipped off to another table.
Riku shook his head. That girl was really weird…
With a little yawn, he lifted up a packet of crackers and turned them over to see a white note taped on. He ripped it off and stole a glance towards Leon, who was ignoring him and concentrating on his soup.
He unfolded the paper and read its contents:
'Hehehehehe! Don't forget to use this! You'll need it when this date is over! Thank me later! Oh! Oh! And you'll like it. It's strawberry flavored! Enjoy!'
Riku scanned the note once more before blinking in confusion. What was this about? Whatever. It probably wasn't a big deal anyway.
But just as he lifted his spoon from inside the bowl of soup, he was entirely surprised at the present someone left him.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!"
It was a condom! A FUCKING CONDOM!
"Where the hell is that waitress?" Fuming, the silver-haired male threw the spoon away from him as if it were diseased and pushed the bowl away from him roughly, causing the soup to spill onto the table.
Hearing a very irritated grunt, Riku slowly looked up to find the condom that was stuck to the spoon now…
…on Leon's forehead.
And it didn't look like it was coming off anytime soon.
If looks could kill, Riku already knew that he would be dead. Man, the pervert could send one hell of a glare. It gave him shivers just thinking about it.
"Heh, oops?" Grinning sheepishly, he tried to appear as innocent as he could, which was hard since he never really was the innocent type. "Did I do that?"
Before Riku knew it, Leon threw the condom back at him, missed, and they both watched as it hit a waiter head on, landing on his eye. The surprised waiter jumped back, clearly startled, which in turn caused the tray of food to land into a poor old woman who let out a piercing scream.
Leon and Riku ducked their heads, pretending like nothing was happening.
Oh my god…how fucking embarrassing…
"We should leave." Leon said, it was not a question. Nonetheless, Riku was relieved.
"I agree. Let's go."
Both snuck out before anyone could ask them any questions.
In the background Rikku and Kairi were laughing so hard, they thought their insides were going to explode. Rikku was out of the waitress outfit and into her original getup again. She leaned back into her chair with a container of cashews that she mysteriously pulled out of her magical coat and watched the old lady being ushered out of the restaurant. Sad that she had to be a part of it, but it was going to work out in the end. Leon had to drive Riku home, which would get them together in an enclosed…area…
Hehehehe. She couldn't forget the special 'medicine' she slipped into Leon's drink either.
Everything was going to work out just fine.
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He was driving like a fucking speed demon, even going through the occasional red lights. It was as if it were a race to see how fast he could get Riku home.
Estimating by the speed…hmmm…maybe…ten minutes. Something close to that.
Yep, but Riku got comfortable in this silence since he was basking in the relief that he was almost home, almost away from this pervert, who he would never see again. These thoughts were the happiest ones since Kairi had gotten him his first hair care kit.
And what a wonderful kit it was…it really helped him when those damn bad hair days occurred. Man, did he hate those. Yeah and-
Abruptly, the car swerved off the road and into a patch of grass, causing Riku to bang his head on the side of the window (since he was watching the lights and cars they passed). Groaning, the younger male rubbed his head and sent a cold glare towards the driver, who looked flustered.
"What the hell do you think you're doing! Do you want to get us killed?" Despite Riku emitting his anger on the brunet, Leon kept silent, which confused Riku. Was the man alright?
And when the boy asked him that exact question all he got was a heated groan. Riku unbuckled his seat and moved closer to the man to see what was wrong. "Hey, pervert! What's wrong? Are you dying?" He poked Leon, trying to get an answer from him, but that only issued a uncontrollable moan. "Oh shit. You are dying."
Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Riku had no clue what to do. He wasn't trained to cure dying people! Those were the doctor's jobs! Okay, so where was he going to find a doctor? Sure as hell not in this car. Fuck. Damn. Shit. What was he going to do? He didn't like the pervert all that much, but that didn't mean he wanted him to die or anything! Gah! What was he going to do? He felt like throwing up. Riku was never good in any upsetting situations.
Once, Riku was so upset with his ex-date Ansem that while they were engaging in the naughty naughty, he punched the older man in the balls and ran out of the room crying hysterically. It wasn't Riku's fault. Really it wasn't. If Ansem didn't keep calling the darkness every time he came, it would have been a lot more erotic, but NOOOO. He couldn't call Riku's name, nope. He had to call the darkness…hence why the silver-haired boy wasn't with him anymore.
Then there was one time when Axel totally missed his entrance and-
Gah! This wasn't the time to think about bad sex! Leon was dying and Riku still had no clue on what to do!
"Leon, where does it hurt? Oh god! Where you allergic to the condom on your forehead! Fucking hell! What can I do for you, anything?" Riku listened for any sign that Leon was talking, but only incoherent noises came out.
He leaned closer…and closer.
Suddenly, a strong hand grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and before Riku knew it, his lips were crushed into the 'dying' brunet's. When he tried pulling away, Leon tightened his grip on the squirming boy and hissed once Riku finally jerked away.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, YOU PERVERT!" Whacking Leon lightly on the bicep, he attempted to slither out of Leon's iron grip, but was unsuccessful. "Let go, perv!"
All he got was a throaty reply. "Stop…moving…ahhhh!" The brunet could just feel the kid's hand on his chest. The cloud of lust that filled his brain and sent a burning desire down to his lower regions was tearing him apart. Someone had drugged his cup of coffee. That waitress must have put in something. Ahhh…why did Riku have to keep moving? Did he not see how sexually frustrated he was?
However, the kid either didn't hear Leon or just ignored him. The brunet couldn't decide, but the only thing he knew was that the kid's lips felt really good and if he could convince him to go just a bit lower. Uhh…god it hurt. The painful pleasure.
"Pervert! Come on, don't die on me now! This is no fair! Kairi is going to castrate me and it'll be your fault!" Riku growled and shook the brunet driver, eliciting shivers and moans to escape the other's lips. "Come on! I don't want to face Mr. Splinter anytime soon! Stop dying!"
Groaning, Leon weakly grabbed Riku and pulled him down once again, locking their lips in a passionate kiss. This time, Riku's feelings for the pervert were swept under the rug and replacing them were something very close to lust. Whatever was happening with this guy…Riku could deal with for just a bit longer.
Wait! What was he saying? Was the disease that Leon had spreading to himself! NO! He couldn't die just yet! God still owned him his fucking pony, damn it! HE WOULD NOT DIE! NOT WITHOUT A FIGHT!
Riku pulled away for the second time, somewhat reluctant, and felt a small blush scribble onto his cheeks, though he rubbed his face to assuage the lustful feelings he was having. "Stop doing that. I don't want your disease, you perv." He then centered his gaze onto the steering wheel. "Hmmm…is there any way that you can get up?"
When Leon weakly tried to lift his body up, his skin brushed against the other's gently, only adding to the lust and ultimately he plopped back down, unable to move.
"Okay then." Riku shook his head in disbelief and sighed. "I guess there's no other choice…"
Riku was going to have to drive…sitting on top of Leon.
Fucking bad idea? Oh yes, Riku already knew, but what else could be done? The pervert was immobile and he was dying…seemingly. So there was no other way but for Riku to play the hero! He would be this pervert's knight and shining armor!
Wow…it felt kind of good to do something for someone else…
Ha, but not that much.
"Well…let's get this over with."
Just as he positioned himself to sit in between Leon's legs, Riku felt himself blush at the…unexpected…uh…thing poking his butt. Sure, it was uncomfortable. Actually, it was REALLY uncomfortable, but deciding to be a knight…one must sacrifice comfort for a dying pervert.
What was the world coming to? More importantly…why was he feeling aroused!
The younger male finally decided…
…that God just didn't like him.
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Already finished with dinner and currently at Kairi's house, the two girls giggled insanely as they recalled the events from the very eventful evening. They were still cracking up at how embarrassed the two boys were when the condom landed on the waiter. Who knew Rikku's plans would actually work so damn well?
It was a miracle that the girl had hidden intelligence stashed up in that mysterious brain of hers. She always appeared so air headed, but Kairi knew better. It was Rikku after all and the girl loved to rub surprises into people's faces.
"Yep! Yep! Hehehehehe! I think I'll create a spy school where I shall become the principal! Oh yeah! Can you see that? Principal Ku-Ku, at your service!" She was bouncing on the couch from so much excitement, causing Kairi to unintentionally bounce up and down with her. "You can be my co-principal! Yeeeah! Or! Or! You can plan secret missions, since you are so good at planning! Hehehehe! Wow, I still can't get over how freaked out Riku was by the condom!" She giggled into her hand, bouncing so hard and uncontrollable that she fell off the couch and landed on her face. "Ouchie…"
Kairi only shook her head and smiled. "I'm still stuck on how you drugged Leon. When he finds out that you drugged it, you'll be dead."
Rikku rolled over, laying flat on her back while her legs were still on the couch. "If he finds out."
The redhead thought about it for a moment and nodded, completely agreeing with her. "If. If is good."
Rikku sighed, letting out only a pinch of hyperness as she watched the fan twirl above her. "You think they are having hot animalistic sex right about now?"
Kairi grinned slyly, hunching her shoulders. "One would only know. Seriously, we'll find out soon enough."
The blonde propped herself onto her right elbow, tilting her head in confusion. "How?"
Kairi let out a wicked chuckle. "Riku keeps this little diary and he's had it since he was like…ten. He used to write about Sora all the time in it, but now he only writes in it about his sexual experiences! Oh my god! It's so hilarious!"
Rikku perked up, eyes gleaming with mischief. " Do you have this…how do you say…'yummy diary that many a fan girl would love to read'?" She knew by the look in the redhead's eyes that she indeed possessed it. "May we read a few pages?"
Nodding, the redhead lifted herself off the couch and signaled with a wave of her hand for Rikku to follow. "I made a copy of it a few months ago just so I can have it for blackmail because you never know." Insane giggle. "It could come in handy."
She flipped the light switch on and made her way towards a secret compartment on her desk, where she kept the copy book. With a small 'ah-ha!', she pulled it out and handed it to Rikku.
The girl squealed and pounced on Kairi's messy bed, flipping through the contents until she stopped on something that very much interested her.
Sexual Experience #25 An Embarrassment with Axel
Dear Diary,
Okay, I forgave Axel when he missed entering me the first time (partly because I had blind folded him), but when it happened a second time…it totally kills the mood.
I mean, I feel really sorry for him. With his small package, its hard for him to get a decent fuck, which is why he picked beautiful me because I could give it all to him. I was just that good. No joke. Ask any man or woman I've ever been with. They all (besides Ansem who always screams 'Darkness' when he comes) have been enthralled in my beautiful and graceful ways. I give them everything they want and make sure they are begging for me. Oh yes. I am so good.
But seriously, he always kills the mood…who misses when they can see right in front of them? I didn't blind fold him this time! I didn't feel kinky! I was horny and he had the fucking right as my date to screw me until I didn't have those damn thoughts anymore, but nooo. He screws everything up. Everyone calls him a Nobody…and I feel sorry for him because that's just what he is because I mean…WHO MISSES ENTERING ME! I am sexy Riku! I missed my own pleasure because of some dumb ass.
That is the last time I do it with him. He either needs to grow some more balls…or learn how to have proper sex…what is he four?
Giggle. Giggle. Giggle.
"Has your brother always been this egotistical?" The blonde asked, getting a small sigh from the other girl who sat close to her.
"Yes…always has been like that. Ever since I first laid eyes on him." She shook her head and smiled. "My mom told me once that when he first held me that he told her how much more beautiful he was than me, but when she told him to take a closer look…" She cracked a grin, eyes distant at the memory. "He said I looked like a shriveled pig. My mother scolded him for months."
Blinking, Rikku wondered if her brother ever said things like that. If he did, he was so getting a kick in the nuts. "Let's read another one!"
Sexual Experience #37 The Sexual Encounter That Wasn't So Sexual
Dear Diary,
You know I have had this…well 'obsession' with Sora for a very long time, but this time. I know this wasn't a sexual experience, but it felt nice to finally hold him, even though it was unintentionally. He almost fell and I grabbed him before he could fall. I swear, I lose myself looking in those indescribable blues of his. I could just kill myself for him, even if it messed my perfect hair up. I would do anything for him, yet he just doesn't seem to get it.
At least, I can keep him by my side with our friendship…even though that's all we have ever had. If only he would return my true feelings. I guess beggars can't be choosers.
It just sucks major balls (ones that Axel doesn't have! Ha! I made a funny!)
Rikku burst out laughing. Oh my god. This kid was so funny.
"I can't believe your brother is so funny!" She grinned, scanning some other pages and closing the book altogether. "When do you think he'll call you and bitch about having a terrible night?"
Kairi smirked. "Who said it was going to be bad? Leon will take care of him…you even helped out in that factor."
Relishing in the fact that she actually did something right, Rikku grinned and continued her bouncing fits on the redhead's bed. "Yep! Yep! And then he'll be thanking us instead of hating us! We are geniuses!"
Oh yes…Riku would be thankful to her. He would be on his hands and KNEES begging for forgiveness of ever calling her a shriveled pig when they were younger! He would regret everything he had ever done to her! Mwuhahaha! She was unstoppable! SHE WAS WOMAN! HEAR HER ROAR!
"Kairi! Kairi! Kairi! Kairi!" Shaking her friend out of her daze, Rikku tilted her head as the redhead's eyes continued to remain distant. Her facial expressions looked confident for the most part, which was slightly creepy. What was going on it that head of hers?
The redhead finally snapped out of it once she felt her brain rattling in her head from the constant shaking. "What? WHAT!"
The blonde girl giggled, poking her friend in the forehead and leaning in closer. "Geez, I swear you were dead!"
Kairi pushed her friend away and stuck her tongue out. "Shut up!" She grabbed a pillow and threw it at Rikku, where it ricocheted off her head and landed on the floor.
Once the redhead saw the gleam in Rikku's eyes turn vengeful, she knew it was going to be war.
Commence pillow fight scene.
If only Riku was having as much fun as the girls…
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The only way Riku would be able to get Leon out of the car and to the front door was to drag him the whole way, but once he had tried to carry him…well…let's just say Leon became quite acquainted with the ground beneath him.
Thud. Moan.
Shit…this wasn't going very well and to top it all off…sitting in between Leon's legs made Riku's butt hurt…more ways than one. There was probably a HUGE rash because that pervert's stupid…uh…thing was rubbing up against him and…ugh those damn noises the perv was making! Don't people die quietly? Then why was he being so loud?
Well anyway…Riku had to pick the perv off the ground…even though the weight would kill him later on.
"You fucking ass…why do you have to die on me now, eh?" Getting into a crouching stance, the silver-haired male proceeded to lift Leon's weight over his shoulders so that only the older man's feet would be dragging. Once this was done…well…Riku had to tottered a few times before he could gain enough balance to pace over towards the door.
He took his time, just a few steps every couples of minutes. It wasn't like the pervert was fat…he was just…a dead weight…and this on his perfect back! Gah! He was going to be another Quasimodo. Oh god! NOOO! He didn't want to ring bells and talk to weird gargoyles all of his life! He was too beautiful for that…too wonderful for that sort of life. If he was going to actually work in life…hmmm…he would be a prince.
Prince Riku. It had a nice ring to it.
Oh! They were finally at the door. Thank God!
It took another few seconds for Riku to dig in his pockets for his keys, but once he was inside, he made a point to close the door with an outstretched foot. He dragged the 'dying' Leon into the living room where he lazily dropped him on the couch.
The man fell to the floor with a loud thud.
Riku let out a frustrated sigh. "Fucking Hell! What am I supposed to do with you?" Picking him up for the millionth time (so what if he was exaggerating!), he made sure the pervert wouldn't fall off as he sent him on the couch once again. "Man, I really have no clue what to do."
The brunet flinched as he felt fingertips brush his hair from his eyes. His lower region twitched with a new found passion even though it was just a simple touch. How long is this fucking drug going to last? Doesn't the kid understand anything!
"You…fucker…" Leon pulled Riku down rough and gave him the evil eye. "Help…me!"
Riku slapped the older's man hand away and stood. "Screw you! You're perfectly fine if you can insult me like that! Die by yourself! I'm going to bed!"
As the younger male walked away, Leon let out a irritated growl before he cringed, closing his eyes to assuage the pain.
Tomorrow…he is going to be fucking dead.
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In the next chapter…
Rikku: Hello everyone! Ku-Ku here to tell you about the next installment! Don't think our plans for our loveable Narcissist are over yet! Can you say, 'Barging in to a yummy scene'! Oh yes! And what will Leon do once Riku comes to check on him? Be prepared for explicit scenes! And what happens when Sora comes home to find Leon on the couch? More to come in 'Acquired Taste'! See ya then! Hehehehe!
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Ahh, the chapter is finally done. I added the Rikku introducing the next chapter in. If you don't like it, please let me know and I shall change it back. I just thought it was super cute! X3
Some things to clarify for people that don't know:
1. Quasimodo is a character from Hunchback of Notre Dame. Remember the guy that rung the bells and loved the gipsy chick? Yep, that's him.
2. I don't hate Axel at all. I just love to play with his character! Hehehehe. So don't hate me. I promise in my other stories he's so like himself. X3 Making fun of people is what I do best. Yep! Yep!
3. This was not beta-ed any mistakes that I missed, I'm sorry.
4. Now you must review to make me happy. Please!
Yep! Yep! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! Thank you!