Chapter 13 Suffering Loss

Estel took a deep breath and leaned back against the strong wooden door of the Healing Rooms. He had lost track of time long ago and was in need of at least a moment away from the patient-filled room. Leaning there, he let his mind drift back over recent events. An extended family of elves had been celebrating the begetting day of their eldest member when a catastrophic rockslide occurred, in essence trapping the entire group beneath it. Elves nearby had heard the cries of those not fully buried and aid had been dispensed in all haste.

Only Elrond, Elladan, Estel and two other healers remained at the Last Homely House. Most of the healers of Rivendell worked fervently at the site, giving emergency aid as the injured elves were freed from their rocky entombment; stabilizing as many as they could; determining who could be moved to Rivendell, who would be treated on site and who had injuries so severe that there was no hope of saving them. Those unfortunates were set aside in the company of elves who knew them, but were not skilled in the healing arts. This allowed the healers to spend their time with those for whom there was yet hope. It was a sad task, made even more so by the fact that these were immortals who might yet have lived for millennia. The combined number of years of life lost was staggering.

Estel had asked to be allowed to help with the digging, but Elrond was adamant that he remain at the house. He was still healing himself and with Elrohir leading a patrol that included Legolas, Estel was needed more as healer.

All the healers were tired. Of the victims that had survived to reach the Last Homely House, more than half were in critical condition and three had been lost. The most recent of these was an older elf, a member of Elrond's own Council and a long time friend of the elf lord's. Estel had been aiding his father when his friend had slipped from this world. He would never forget the look on his father's face. He had a momentary insight into the future the elf had chosen when he took in a human, knowing his fate was to love a son whose days were numbered by mortality. Reaching an arm around his father, he tried to put all of his love into that short moment. Elrond had leaned into the embrace briefly, then rallied and sent Estel to notify the servants that the body would need to be relocated to make room for the living.

En route to speak with the servant in charge, Estel could not suppress the thought that the elf might have lived if one of the other healers had been able to attend him. The elf had asked for Elrond, perhaps because of their friendship, perhaps because he was one of the few who had been told of Elrond's new limitation. If Elrond was with him, then his beloved family members were under the care of healers who had no such limitations and the odds of their survival was increased. It is what the elderly elf would have wanted. Estel hoped that his father would remember how the elf had valued their friendship and not consider any other reasons for his now-departed friend's request. When Estel had returned from his task, another group of injured had arrived and Estel turned his thoughts to them. That had been hours ago. Now, as the other healers began to return from the site of the accident, the young man spoke quietly to Elladan, then left the room.

Too tired to think of climbing the stairs to his room, and assuming Elrond was in his study, Estel decided to steal a moment of peace in his father's laboratory. Opening the door as silently as an elf the human paused, sensing he was not alone. Barely breathing, his eyes focused on the one light in the room, partly hidden by his father's outline. The elf lord looked defeated. There was no better word for it. Both hands were placed flat against the table; his arms were straight and holding the weight of his upper body. His head hung so low that it could not even be seen from behind. Estel debated whether to withdraw or enter. Which would help his father more? Knowing Estel had seen him in such a way might upset the elf, but in the end, it was simply beyond Estel to leave him alone in that state. Quietly, he slipped into the room and when a few short steps behind him, murmured "Ada?" The elf lord turned, still braced by one arm on the desk, and the human moved to enfold him in his arms. The elf's weight shifted from the desk to his son, who supported him easily.

After a few moments Elrond whispered in Estel's ear. "I will miss him. He was a good friend." The human swallowed a lump in this throat to reply. " I know. His passing will be greatly mourned." He would not try and tell his father that he had done all he could for his friend; to do so would only upset him further. The time for blaming himself for Elrond's condition was past. It would only make his father regret this momentary lapse and Estel would not have that happen for all of Middle Earth. "Come. Let me take you to your study. You can rest there and still be nearby should we have to call you."

Elrond chose not to protest. He was tired; more tired than he could remember being since his wife had sailed. If he did not gather his strength, he was afraid he might begin to give himself up to despair and fading was not an option. Estel would never forgive himself and all of his children still needed him. Rivendell still needed him. He knew this in his mind, but for now, his heart could not believe it. It would be easier when his body was refreshed. Leaning heavily on his son, he allowed the young man to guide him through the private corridor between his study and his laboratory. Estel gently eased his father onto the couch and covered him. In only moments, Elrond was asleep. The human returned to the Healing Rooms, but made it a point to check on his father between each duty.

By the time the birds began their song on the next day all the surviving patients were stable, and all the healers, including Elladan, were exhausted. Only two hours earlier, the elf had banished his youngest brother to the study "to keep watch over Ada." Of course both brothers knew that Elladan was simply being Elladan. Estel suppressed the urge to protest because of the large number of elves present, but the look he sent his brother let him know that he was not fooled. Elladan had simply smiled in response and resisted the impulse to mess his brother's hair as he had when he first lived with them years ago. Thinking on that moment now, as he went to check on his father and brother, Elladan felt a tightening in his chest. He tried to put the feeling aside, but found he could not do so. In fact, the feeling intensified and his breathing quickened.

tbc

A/N Sorry I'm late in updating!I really appreciate everyone who is reading and who is reviewing!