Chapter 24

(Tankhun POV)

Sunday Morning - Theerapanyakul Residence

Tankhun's mood the next morning was not very good. He couldn't sleep well last night, for his mind seemed to refuse to break away from the incident that happened at dinner. And as a result, he felt tired and not refreshed at all.

Last night, after Chan's unexpected outburst of emotion towards Peter - a man who was allegedly an official from the Football Federation, who was also Anna's date at yesterday's game - the atmosphere of their dinner was not exactly pleasant. Tankhun decided to guard his mouth, only answering Chan as little as possible, because he didn't want to say the wrong thing, while Chan was trying so damn hard to fix the situation. He talked about many things except the things that Tankhun really wanted to know.

Who is Peter? Why are your emotions so explosive when I mentioned him? Is it because he's Anna's date? If so, does that mean you haven't moved on from Anna? And if that's the case, what's the point of involving me in this fake dating? Is this some kind of sick game between the two of you?

Tankhun, frankly, began to question his decision to help Chan, whether said man really deserved all his effort, not to mention all the guilt he felt toward his family and close friend, even the BSFC boys, due to their fake dating; but Porsche and Kinn seemed pretty adamant about the Captain's character as a good and honorable man. Especially Porsche, who has known Chan since he was a teenager. If you think about it logically, Porsche couldn't possibly not know anything about Anna, and Tankhun needed to know the truth about her desperately. Because, whether he liked it or not, he had to admit that this affair was no longer just about fake dating. Not when his own feelings were already involved, deeply, like this; something that Tankhun never thought would happen. Yet, it happened and Tankhun was 100 % aware that he couldn't deny it any longer.

Damn it!

Maybe it sounded ridiculous, but indeed, it was the whole truth. Tankhun Theerapanyakun had never been in love. It was an undeniable truth that he was attracted to lots of people, chased and got chased by many; had fun with them until he got bored (hence he occasionally stuck with the same person for 3 months tops) and left when he found someone else who caught his interest more. And throughout his dating experience, ever since he was a teenager until recently, Tankhun had never felt hurt by someone (he couldn't speak for the other side though), let alone jealous of somebody. Last night, he felt both feelings at the same time, and that, shaking his world entirely.

But, of all the people in his life, why should it be Chan? Their relationship started from chaos, popped up out of nowhere, causing Tankhun to be blindsided by the surge of feeling that came from it; and if those weren't bad enough, the last thing Tankhun wanted was to be with someone, whose past love affairs were still hanging over his head. It was too much trouble for Tankhun, because he himself still didn't know how to act. Tankhun had zero experience of being vulnerable in front of someone that he didn't trust 100%.

He knew everything he needed to know about conquering someone that he desired, but trying to get together with someone that he... umn... likes? (saying love seems way too fast... right? Right!?), this was Tankhun's very first encounter. And even though Tankhun had never experienced it himself, but, from what he saw from Pa and Ma, and also Kinn and Porsche, Tankhun knew the difference between a relationship based on lust and one based on love. So, once again he asked his heart and his head, why did it have to be Chan, whose past was complicated? Why couldn't he fall to someone else, someone with no excess baggage, so everything was so much simpler?

Out of the blue, all the quotes about 'you don't get to choose who you fall in love with' in every variation, which Tankhun always mocked, slapped him hard.

This is madness!

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(Tankhun POV)

Sunday Evening - the Moonlight

Tankhun never doubted Porsche's love for him. He was damn sure that Porsche loved him as much as he loved his younger brother, Porchay, who was currently studying in Sydney, and his Ma, who accompanied Porchay there. Tankhun was not clear on why Porsche's Ma chose to stay abroad, but Porsche once said to him that it was the best thing for her. Moreover, he was pretty sure Porsche felt less worried that Porchay was not living alone in Australia. When it came to protecting their younger siblings and parents, Tankhun and Porsche didn't differ much.

But tonight, as soon as Porsche saw Tankhun appear in the Moonlight, he felt the smile on his brother-in-law's face was... a bit forced? It didn't reach his eyes. Hmm, maybe he was being too sensitive due to recent events (read: Chan). That was the only reason that came into his mind and oh maybe one other thing... Tankhun had become paranoid.

Fuck!

He needed to confirm one thing first though.

"Hi, Sweetie, is Kinn here?"

Did Porsche just swear under his breath? What did he mean by 'not again'?

"Did you just swear?" Tankhun asked Porsche for confirmation.

"No, P', what do you mean?" Porsche quickly responded. "I haven't even returned your greeting yet... so Hi~ P'."

Tankhun could have argued and prolonged the matter, but he realized the chances of him hearing wrong were very high, and frankly, he didn't have the energy to argue (what have you done with yourself, Tankhun Theerapanyakun?) His main purpose to come here was to get some information from Porsche, so he decided to just ignore it and asked Porsche about his younger brother's whereabouts one more time.

"So, is he here?"

"No, P', Kinn is not here. He'll come later, maybe in an hour or two," answered Porsche.

Tankhun heaved a sigh of relief.

"P' want to talk to me about the fake dating, I take it?"

Porsche didn't mince his words and Tankhun took his time to answer. Could fake dating be still considered as one, when one of the participant's feelings got involved for real? His damn pride encouraged him to lie, but who else could he trust on this matter if not his own family. He was 100% sure Porsche would not take advantage of his vulnerability.

"P'?" asked Porsche again, gently this time. "Hey, P', are you okay?"

Porsche looked worried now, so Tankhun decided to just come clean with him.

"I... I don't think I can say it's fake dating anymore," stated Tankhun, in a low voice. "Not if I have real feelings for him, right?"

Porsche was stunned for a moment, before confirming, "If?"

Tankhun closed his eyes, both of his hands clenched.

"I think I have it for real, Porsche," affirmed Tankhun, who seconds later shot his brother-in-law with a series of questions at a high speed, without breaking, "What, do you think there's a possibility that I just got carried away with the situation? You know I've had no experience in these things, right, Porsche? So, please, tell me, what do you think about it? How did you actually know and be sure that you liked Kinn back then?"

Instead of answering, Porsche put a glass of ice water in front of him with a smile, this time the smile really reached his beautiful dark eyes.

"Take a deep breath, P'," asked Porsche as he pushed the glass of water even closer to Tankhun.

Tankhun followed Porsche's request and took a sip of the ice water.

"If I hadn't seen it myself, I wouldn't have believed that Tankhun Theerapanyakul, my super fabulous P', could be so insecure like this," said Porsche with a tone of voice that filled with disbelief. "This isn't the real you, P'."

"Tell me about it!" shouted Tankhun, frustrated. "I hate seeing myself like this."

"I don't. I think you look so adorable like this."

"Shut up!" shouted Tankhun again. "I was never adorable, or cute, or whatever. I have always been fierce and hard as nails, but god has mercy, I want to look endearing in his eyes."

Tankhun couldn't believe he just said that to Porsche. His face felt super hot, he was so embarrassed; and just like a kid, he then lowered his head to hide his face behind his folded hands on the bar counter.

"Fuck, just kill me already, Porsche!" begged him, dramatically.

"P', come on, there's no need to be embarrassed," said Porsche. "When love comes, it comes, and nothing can hold it back. You should enjoy and savor it."

Tankhun slowly raised his head to look at the Porsche and said, "Pa also said the same thing."

"See?" said Porsche excitedly. "There were times when I lost confidence too, for Kinn back then, I swear to God, thinking that ledger was so much more desirable than me, until I took matters into my own hands."

Tankhun couldn't help but burst out laughing. Kinn, the workaholic, was truly a piece of work.

"What did you do?"

"The next time he came into the Moonlight to check the ledger, I told him to go straight up to my loft," Porsche replied, as he pointed upwards, where the spacious loft was located, which was where Porsche and Kinn lived now, after they got married. "I, of course, had been waiting for him there with the ledger in hand, and only wearing a small towel around my waist."

"You slut!" shouted Tankhun affectionately, chuckled like crazy.

"I got my man though," Porsche said curtly, in a triumphant voice.

"Aren't you worried that your plan won't work then?" asked Tankhun. "It could backfire very easily."

"Of course there were doubts, P'," replied Porsche, "But by then, I was already head over heels for Kinn, and in my head the only thought that existed was, I love this man and I will do my best to get him."

Tankhun was just quiet, because he didn't have any idea what to say.

"P, correct me if I'm wrong, but as long as I've been your brother-in-law, over the past two years, I've never seen you fail to get the person you're after. Am I right?" asked Porsche.

"You're absolutely right, but then I never have to risk my own heart, Porsche," Tankhun replied. "I'm a horrible person, aren't I?"

"No, you are not, and I'm not going to insult your intelligence by lying and saying love is risk-free, because that's simply not true. However, P', therein lies the thrill, the charm, and the beauty of love itself."

Tankhun's face must have been so full of confusion at that moment, and he was pretty sure that was the main reason for Porsche to grab his right hand and squeeze it gently.

"You need to experience it for yourself, P'. Then you'll understand, I promise you."

Tankhun nodded his head and squeezed back Porsche's hand.

"Porsche? Don't tell anyone about this, okay? Not even Kinn, or god forbid, Chan!" pleaded Tankhun. "You have no idea how hard it is for me to tell you all this."

"P', don't worry, okay?" said Porsche, reassuring Tankhun. "I won't break your trust. I have absolutely no right to tell anyone about this, especially P'Chan."

"Thank you, sweetie."

"Now, can you please tell me, what do you want to know about him?" asked Porsche bluntly. "I'll answer them if I can, without breaking P'Chan's trust in me, of course. P' can understand that, right?"

At first Tankhun wanted to argue, but what's the point of pretending he didn't come here for some information now? Porsche already knew about his deepest secret anyway, so he nodded his head.

"The thing I want to know the most is not exactly about Chan, but his ex, Anna."

"Anna?" asked Porsche in a surprised tone. "What about her? Their relationship ended 10 months ago, very badly, if I may add."

10 months? Hm, it's been quite a while, but why is Chan still so emotional?

"Are you sure?" asked Tankhun. "I got another impression about it when I had dinner with Chan last night."

"What do you mean, P'?"

"I don't think Chan has moved on from his ex."

"No~~ that's absolutely impossible," Porsche replied firmly. "P'Chan really hates that woman, and I don't blame P'Chan at all for it. She's a nightmare, P'!"

"Can you tell me what you can about her?"

"In short, she never cared or loved P'Chan. I think she was with him only for money and fame. They started dating when P'Chan was still the Captain of the national team. And she was having an affair with one of P'Chan's friends."

What the Hell?

"Huh? You mean with another footballer?" asked Tankhun, who was genuinely shocked.

"No, P', with an official from the Football Federation."

Peter! No wonder Chan was so furious last night!

"So, you see, P', there's absolutely no way that P'Chan still has feelings for that evil woman, trust me," insisted Porsche. He looked 100% convinced on that matter, Tankhun actually wished that he could have Porsche's conviction.

Still, Chan shouldn't have been that angry with Peter either, if indeed he didn't have any feelings left for Anna, right? Another surge of doubts attacked Tankhun's mind like mad, not gonna lie, he felt like he was back in square one. At the moment, Tankhun was so frustrated with himself, he wanted to scream on top of his lungs. If only he could...

FUCK!

TBC

AN: This is a tough chapter to write, I don't think I'm good at writing about feelings, and since I can't hide behind humor, it's the best that I can do. () Hopefully not too disappointing.
Regarding Tankhun's feeling, who fell in love for the first time in this AU, I wrote it based on my personal experience. I, an outspoken person, have indeed become that naive and insecure in front of my crush *covers my face with both hands*