Jessie called ten minutes later to say that a nurse had come to get Santana and Brittany to update them. They left the NICU at a run, impatiently waiting for the elevator. Brittany pressed the button repeatedly, muttering a hushed, 'come on, come one' under her breath. When the elevator arrived, they quickly got in and punched the close button. They didn't talk about the baby they were leaving in the NICU, or what it meant. They couldn't think about that now. Not when the nurse could be telling them that Puck had died.
They stepped out of the elevator on their floor and jogged through the corridor, looking for their room.
"Are you sure it's this way?" Santana asked as Brittany took a sharp right turn.
"Yeah." Brittany nodded.
Santana's phone rang before she could say that this corridor didn't look familiar.
"Q" she breathed.
"Santana what the hell is happening? Are you guys okay? Jessie's tried to call me like four times."
"No. We're not okay. Things aren't okay Q."
Santana stopped walking, reaching out to pull Brittany to a stop too.
"We need to get to the room." Brittany said, trying to walk forward again.
"It's Quinn."
Santana held the phone out for Brittany.
Brittany looked at the phone, then at Santana, then back at the phone. She swallowed.
"I can't."
"B you're better-"
Brittany shook her head. "I can't." She took a step back from Santana, took her hand and began marching them down the corridor. "I'm going to get us back to our room."
Santana looked down at her phone. Taking a deep breath she put it to her ear.
"SANTANA"
"Sorry." Santana said quickly. "Okay listen…We're at the hospital-"
"Why what happened? Are the boys okay? Was there an accident?"
"Kind of. Puck's been shot."
Quinn was so silent that Santana had to check to make sure the call hadn't dropped.
"Quinn?"
"What hospital are you at?"
By the time they'd gotten to their room, Santana had finished with Quinn. She hadn't been as hysterical as Santana was expecting, but she also knew Quinn well. She didn't do well when faced with overwhelming emotion, much like Santana herself. Santana figured her breakdown would come when they heard Puck was okay. If They heard Puck was okay.
They found a nurse in the room with Jessie, standing by the door.
"Here they are" Jessie said, as they approached.
The nurse turned to them, smiling kindly.
"Is he okay?" Santana asked immediately.
"He made it out of surgery." She said. Brittany's whole body seemed to relax. She exhaled heavily, stepping closer to Santana and taking her hand. "For the next two days we'll need to watch him carefully."
"But for now…he's okay?" Santana asked.
The nurse pressed her lips together, looking at them sympathetically.
"For now, he's alive."
It wasn't lost on Santana that the nurse was refusing to say that Puck was or would be okay but she didn't want to get too into it right now. Right now it was enough that he was out of surgery and alive. She could deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.
"Can we see him?"
"Yes." The nurse nodded. "I'll take you to his room. He's in the ICU and still sleeping but yes, you can see him."
"ICU" Brittany said, shaking her head. "That's bad right?"
"He's not in surgery" Santana said, squeezing Brittany's hand. "ICU just means they're watching him carefully, so if anything happens they'll help him immediately."
Brittany nodded, blinking back tears. "Okay."
Brittany broke down the second they walked into Puck's room. Santana wrapped her arms around her, rubbing her back soothingly as Brittany cried into her chest. She couldn't blame her. Puck had a tube in his mouth, that branched off into two tubes before entering the machine beside his bed. There were wires and lines and more than one beeping machine, and all of it made Puck look in really bad shape. It was scary.
"Ssh baby" Santana kissed the side of Brittany's head, reaching into her back pocket to retrieve her buzzing phone. Quinn was calling. "Babe." Santana put her phone back in her pocket and stepped back enough to look at Brittany. "Baby, look at me." She wiped Brittany's cheeks. "Go get Quinn."
"What?" Brittany sniffed.
"Quinn's here. She doesn't know where we are or where to go. Go get her."
Brittany wiped her eyes.
"Okay" she nodded. "Where is she?"
"I don't know. Call her."
"Okay" Brittany sniffed again, glanced at Puck and then left. Santana watched her. When she couldn't see her through the glass anymore, she turned to Puck, sighing.
"Damn it Puckerman."
The three of them spent the rest of the night and most of the next day by Puck's bed. His band mates showed up the next morning and left just before lunch. Quinn Brittany and Santana stayed until nearly 4 PM. Brittany hadn't stopped crying.
"I think we need to relieve Jessie." Brittany said, standing from her chair. "He's been on duty for over twelve hours."
"Sit down Brittany." Quinn said from beside Puck's bed where she was holding his hand. Brittany frowned at her.
"Why?"
"Because with the way you're crying you're just going to scare the boys."
Brittany wiped furiously at her cheeks and eyes, trying to get rid of her tears.
Santana stood up, cracking her back.
"I'll go B."
"Are you sure?"
Santana nodded.
"Since I'm leaving, does anyone want anything?"
Quinn shook her head.
"A coffee okay." Santana said, nodding. "Britt?"
"Maybe a change of clothes?"
"Got it." She walked to Brittany, kissing her tenderly. "I'll be back soon."
"I love you" Brittany said quietly.
"Love you too" Santana mouthed. "Q, stretch your legs or something."
Quinn didn't even turn to look at her. Her eyes remained fixed on Puck's still one.
"No."
Santana pursed her lips, looking at Brittany, who shrugged sadly.
"Okaaaay" she sighed. "I'll see you babe."
When Santana closed the door, Brittany retook her seat, watching Quinn's stiff body.
"Are you sure you don't want a water or something?"
"Yup"
"Quinn…"
"What?" Quinn turned to look at her, and Brittany's heart broke just a little more. Her eyes were red, her cheeks flushed and tip of her nose red. There were bags of exhaustion under her eyes, making them look sunken and adding to the general tired look that Quinn was giving off.
"He made it through the night, so he might be okay."
"You don't know that." Quinn said, turning back to Puck. "You just don't know that."
"The doctors said that every night he makes it is a good sign."
"And we're at one. Anything could happen Britt. One night isn't a sign he'll live."
"Don't you want it to be?"
"Not all of us can just exit reality and take up residence in whatever fairy tale world your brain conjured up when you were a kid, where everything works out and everyone's nice and all that bullshit Brittany. The rest of us normal people actually have to face the crap the world throws at us. Do you know what that means?"
Brittany kept her face neutral, refusing to get hurt.
"Stop talking. You're scared for Puck, and you're tired."
"It means that there's a real possibility that Noah dies Brittany. Can you understand that?"
"Quinn" Brittany warned.
Quinn stood up. "Can you stop spewing rainbows and sunshine for a second, and admit that Puck might not live? That no amount of stupid comments like 'he's going to be okay' are going to save him?"
"QUINN!" Brittany stood up as well. "Stop it. You can be as upset as you want, but I won't allow you to talk to me like that. Take a walk."
"I'm not leaving-"
"Take a damn walk." Brittany said forcefully, cutting her off. "And when you come back I'll be waiting for an apology."
Shoving past Quinn, Brittany took the seat beside Puck's bed and took the hand Quinn had been holding. She didn't look back as Quinn opened and shut the door.
It felt like hours before either Santana or Quinn returned. Brittany fell asleep twice, waking up with her head resting on Puck's hand each time. A nurse came in, checked the machines and tubes and wrote things down on a clipboard before leaving. She didn't speak once.
Brittany was really beginning to hate hospitals. The doctors always seemed irritated by her questions, and the nurses always seemed too busy to answer them. There were big, scary things happening all over the place, but no one stopped to explain any of it to her. Which meant that your friend could be shot, his life hanging in the balance, and you have no idea how he's doing. They always gave vague answers like, 'for now we just don't know' or 'we'll have to wait and see.' Brittany hated it.
When Quinn returned she took the seat in the corner silently. Brittany didn't push her to talk. Santana came back an hour later with coffee and donuts for all of them, clothes, burgers and water bottles.
"Any change?" She asked when she came in.
"No." Brittany stood up and hugged her. Seeing Puck like that had her feeling particularly grateful for Santana's health and safety. She hugged her tight, breathing in her smell and feeling her pulse. "You showered."
"Yeah" Santana chuckled. "Figured I was beginning to get a bit rank."
"Lucky."
"You can switch out if you want?"
Brittany shook her head.
"New clothes is enough."
"Okay."
Santana handed Quinn her coffee, a burger and water.
"Thanks" Quinn said quietly.
They ate in silence.
When they'd finished and all the wrappers had been thrown in the bin, Brittany squeezed into Santana's chair with her, basically sitting on her lap.
"How long do you think it'll be till he wakes up."
"I don't know" Santana said, looking at Puck. "It shouldn't take long really. It's not like he had brain surgery."
"What do you mean?" Quinn asked sharply, sitting forward. "Do you think something's wrong?"
"No" Santana picked her empty water bottle and threw it at Puck. It bounced off his legs.
"Santana!" Quinn yelled.
"Come on Puckerman!" Santana said loudly. "Wake up and throw it back."
Puck remained still.
Santana sighed.
"He'll be o-"
"I swear to god Brittany if you say he'll be okay one more fucking time."
"Hey what's your problem?" Santana asked, frowning at Quinn. "She's being positive, which is what we need."
"She's being naïve."
"Watch it." Santana warned, pointing a finger at Quinn.
"Or what?" Quinn asked. "You'll stop talking to me?"
"Oh." Santana scoffed. "You're throwing a fit right now because you were insensitive while I was dealing with a fucking racist idiot, and I didn't rush to forgive you?"
"Rush to forgive me?" Quinn asked. "You walked out and didn't talk to me for three weeks."
Santana shrugged. "I didn't feel like making you feel better."
"I didn't ask you to."
"Guys, let's not do this now." Brittany said. "Right now we're all sleep deprived and high strung. We're freaking out about Noah and aren't really in our best places emotionally. You'll both end up saying things you'll regret."
Quinn and Santana glared at each other for a moment before nodding.
"Fine. Let's call a truce." Quinn said.
"Fine." Santana said, nodding. "Truce, until Noah get's better."
"Fine." Quinn nodded.
"See" Brittany said, smiling. "There's your positive attitude Quinn."
Santana stumbled her way down the stairs, not wanting to turn the lights on knowing doing so would only ensure she never fall back asleep. She didn't know what time it was, but it felt late, and she'd been having a really awesome dream about being on a panel with Traji P. Henson and Melissa McCarthy, talking about race and gender issues in Hollywood and the music industry. She'd been the only musician on the panel of nine, and they'd all been eager to hear her opinion. Only to be woken up and brought back to stinking Lima Ohio where she was only famous for being a lesbian cheerleader.
The doorbell rang again as Santana got to the last stair.
"I'm coming," she mumbled. "Why do we even have a bell in the first place? And who would ring that devil thing in the middle of the night?" Santana stopped, her hand on the door handle. "Wow. I should probably go to therapy and talk through the fact that I am turning into my abuela."
"Santana?"
Santana pressed her ear to the door, frowned, and pulled back.
"Seriously Santana?"
She opened the door to a grinning Brittany.
"Were you just talking to yourself?"
"Britt?" she asked, frowning. "Am I still dreaming?"
"Maybe" Brittany said thoughtfully. "Why? Were you dreaming of me?"
Santana dropped her confused frown for a smirk.
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"I really would." Brittany stepped forward, gently cupping Santana's cheek and pulling her into a kiss.
"Mmmh" Santana hummed as they pulled apart. "Umm…so I'm totally up for midnight kisses, but what are you doing here Britt."
"Well, one, I couldn't sleep, and you weren't answering your phone."
Santana looked back into her house, yawning.
"Yeah, it died. I put it on the charger but forgot to turn it back on. Sorry."
"It's okay. Reason number two, I wanted to give you this." From behind her back, Santana hadn't even realised she'd had her hand behind her back, she produced a single red rose.
"Brittany…" Santana breathed. "This is so random but so sweet."
"I hadn't really planned to bring you a flower, but I saw it on my way to the Walmart. It was the only one. All the others were white or yellow, and it looked so brilliantly red and striking…it made me think of you."
"Brittany" Santana breathed again, no longer at the flower but at Brittany. This soft, loving, sweet person who Santana could not for the life of her understand how she got so lucky to date. "Thank you" she said honestly.
Brittany grinned, obviously very proud of herself.
"I really do love it" Santana indicated the flower, "but, did you really come to my house at…" she paused, looking out at the moon. "I don't actually know what time it is, but it's late."
"It's 1:30."
"Did you come to my house at 1:30 to bring me a flower?"
"No." Brittany smiled and moved closer to Santana. She took her hand, playing with her fingers. "I told you I hadn't planned to bring you the flower."
"Right."
They were both looking down at their hands, lost in how intimate it felt thanks to the glow of the porch light and the silence of the night.
"So…" Santana finally said, forcing her eyes up to Brittany's face. "Why did you come then babe?"
"Oh. I also brought this." Brittany pulled out her ipod. This time Santana smiled, raising her eyebrows in amusement.
"Was that a part of the original plan?"
"Yes" Brittany grinned. "And this." She pulled out an earphone splitter.
"Wow…Britt" Santana took it out of Brittany's hand, wide eyed and in complete awe. "How did you afford this?"
"It actually wasn't that expensive. I asked my dad for my allowance for three months cause I thought it would be, but it was like…20 bucks."
"Really?" Santana looked back at her. "Wow." She said again. Then she put the pieces together. "Was there a song you wanted us to listen to?"
"Not specially." Brittany looked down shyly, back to where her hand was still connected to Santana's. "I was hoping you'd go on a walk with me."
"Right now?" Santana asked delicately. There was the thought in the back of her head, the responsible thought, that they had school the next day, and that walking around in the middle of the night, the two small teenage girls that they were, was probably not smart. But as Brittany nodded with a small smile, still looking down at their hands, Santana couldn't help but throw all responsibility out the window. "Let me go get changed."
She let Brittany in and the two of them made their way upstairs.
Knowing that no one was going to see them, Santana didn't bother trying to decide what to wear. She went straight to her hamper and pulled out the pair of black jeans that were laying on top, switched her shirt for one she pulled out of her drawer with barely a glance, and grabbed a navy blue jacket. When she was dressed she turned to Brittany, who was sitting with one leg crossed over the other, smiling softly at her.
"What?" Santana asked, suddenly slightly self-conscious. Brittany stood up, still smiling but shaking her head.
"Nothing. Ready?"
"Yeah. Where are we going?"
"For a walk"
"Right" Santana grinned, as Brittany took her hand and they began to walk out. "But where are we walking to?"
Brittany shrugged. "Wherever the road takes us."
As soon as they got to the road, Brittany pulled out her IPod and two sets of earphones. She plugged the earphones into the multi-jack, and then the jack into her IPod and handed one of the earphones to Santana.
As they walked, they listened to music. Sometimes singing along, sometimes dancing as well as their earphones would allow. It felt like they had the whole world to themselves, with no one around to see them or judge them or join them. With no distractions or interruptions, they could just focus on each other. Brittany didn't let go of Santana's hand the entire time, a fact that Santana was acutely aware of.
She and Brittany had been out for a while now, but Santana was still getting used to how different it was. Last year she'd been convinced that coming out wouldn't really make a difference. Other than other people knowing they were together, they'd still just be them, she'd been sure. But since coming out, or being outed rather, their relationship was so different and Santana was finally starting to understand why. It felt real. Last year if Brittany had come to her house in the middle of the night like this, they would have still sung and danced down the street, but she would have been thinking about what it would feel like if they were really together. She would have been overthinking the consequences or deeper meaning behind Brittany holding her hand so securely, or the fact that every time Brittany turned to her she wanted to pull her into a kiss. Now she could just live in and enjoy the moment. She could allow herself to understand that Brittany was holding her hand because she loved her without having a panic attack, and dream about doing random and spontaneous things like this for years to come.
Brittany turned to sing a line right in her face, pointing her finger at her, inches from her nose.
Santana grinned. She took one of the buds out of her ear and then reached over and removed one of Brittany's. Brittany frowned cutely at her.
"What's wrong?"
"I love you."
Brittany's entire face relaxed. She pressed her lips together, smiling slightly. Her eyes were so delicate, looking at Santana like she was the most special human being on the planet. Like she was overwhelmed with emotion and didn't know what to do with it.
"Come on" Brittany said after a while, squeezing Santana's hand.
Santana wasn't phased by the fact that Brittany hadn't said it back. She hadn't told her so that she could hear it back, she'd told her so that she knew in that moment that Santana loved her.
Their pace had picked up now, like Brittany had somewhere she wanted to be. Santana let herself be dragged along.
"Pharaoh park?" Santana asked as they walked up to the large park gates.
Grinning, Brittany simply pulled her forward more urgently. "Come on."
The gate was open, though Santana was pretty sure it was usually locked, so they walked right in. Brittany slowed down their pace, back to a leisurely stroll.
Pharaoh park was the smaller of the two parks in Lima. It was circular, with five benches in random locations around the park. Since it was so small, the only people that really went there were couples looking for a romantic spot, and old people. Everyone else preferred the other much larger park that had massive trees to rest under and the lake with ducks to feed. There were swings and jungle gym set-up. In comparison, pharaoh park was incredibly boring.
Santana had only been to the park once, when Puck was trying to impress her on a date so she'd sleep with him.
Being here with Brittany felt a little like that, except Santana was actually excited for whatever Brittany had planned.
"Woah wait!" Santana removed both earphone buds, stopping in her tracks. "Is that bench on fire?"
Brittany looked to the bench in question, giggled, and turned back to Santana.
"Let's go see."
"What?" Santana frowned, refusing to be pulled forward this time. "Britt no."
"Why not?"
"Cause what if…what if a druggie homeless guy fell asleep with his cigarette lit and set himself on fire?"
Brittany laughed, turning to face Santana completely and taking both her hands.
"Wouldn't you want to help?"
"No!" Santana said seriously. She tugged Brittany a step away from the bench, eyeing it warily. "This is what your dad was talking about when he said we have to balance each other out. I can't just be giving in to every crazy idea you have."
"Don't you trust me?"
Santana's eyes landed on Brittany's.
"Not even a little."
Giggling, Brittany put in one of her ear buds, putting the other in Santana's ear. Santana didn't know this song. It was a slow song, which she tended not to listen to, but Brittany was humming along as soon as it started. She pulled Santana into her, placing her hands on her waist. When the chorus started, Brittany started swaying them. Santana was never confident in her dancing. She knew she was better than most of the glee kids, but that wasn't a very high standard, especially when your partner was Britany. Yet somehow, Brittany always seemed to be able to guide her body into doing the right thing. She soon found herself dancing to a song she'd never heard, twirling and stepping without missing a beat, simply by following Brittany's lead.
When they were close, Brittany would whisper the lyrics into Santana's ear, pressing her close by the small of her back, then she'd kiss her temple or cheek before they separated again.
Santana felt content to stay as they were all night.
"Open your eyes."
Slowly, Santana followed Brittany's request. Brittany was staring back at her with the soft look she'd had earlier.
"Look."
She turned, as Brittany had, to see they were standing in front of the bench she'd thought was on fire, only it wasn't on fire, it was lit up by candles. Candles that were arranged into letters that read, 'I LOVE YOU'.
Santana felt like she was melting. Her throat seized up, her eyes welling with tears as her face heated up in what if she was any lighter would have been a blush. She knew she should speak, or react at all, but all she could take were shallow breaths.
"I love you"
Brittany had moved to stand beside her, both hands gripping her arm. Santana knew she wasn't looking down at the bench though, without having to turn and check. She could feel Brittany watching her. She swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat so she could speak, but the lump remained.
"Do you know what day it is today?"
"Umm…" Santana croaked. "Wednesday?"
"No the date."
"Uh…" She shook her head.
"It's the anniversary of the day you told me you were in love with me."
That effectively distracted Santana enough that she could speak. She turned away from the candles but Brittany beat her to it.
"I was hoping you wouldn't remember, cause then that means you don't think about it a lot."
"I don't." Santana said.
"I do." Brittany's hand that wasn't intertwined with Santana's brushed fingers up and down her arm. "I think about it a lot. I think about all the things I could have said instead of…" she sighed.
"Britt" Santana cupped her face, stroking her thumb over her cheek. "It doesn't matter anymore. We're…we're so far passed that now, you shouldn't let it eat at you. No more dwelling on the past remember?"
"I know." Brittany nodded. "I know, but I just wish I'd…anyway. When I realised what today was going to be, I figured I should make it right. I didn't want you to wake up sad or…thinking about how that day went, just in case you did know what today was. I wanted you to wake up today knowing that I love you more than I've ever loved anyone."
Santana turned back to the candles, understanding their meaning so much better now. She'd stood in front of Brittany that day a crying mess, begging her to say she loved her back. So Brittany was starting today off giving her what she'd asked for exactly a year ago. And just like that day, she cried.
"You are…" she sniffed. "Brittany, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me."
Brittany blushed, shaking her head.
"No I'm-"
"I'm serious. You…look at this?" Santana pointed at the bench. "The music, the rose…this whole thing. No one loves me the way you do B, and as nice as it is to hear it, I don't really need to. I did a year ago, because I knew I didn't deserve it. I'd been treating you so badly and taking you for granted. But now…I appreciate every moment knowing you're mine. I know you love me."
"Good." Brittany breathed, almost looking relieved. "I'm glad you know, but I want to tell you every day forever."
"I'm okay with that."
"I think I would make a seriously banging Blair Waldorf" Santana said suddenly.
"What?" Quinn asked, neither turning her head nor opening her eyes. She was lying in one of the armchairs in the private room they had been given to wait in, her head resting on one arm rest while her legs were thrown over the other.
"From Gossip girl" Brittany said. She was sitting similarly to Quinn, only Santana was underneath her.
"I know where she's from, I just don't get where that comment came from Santana."
It had been four days since Puck had been brought in with a gunshot wound. His initial surgery had taken close to seven hours, and three days into his recovery, he had been taken back in. Some kind of post-surgery complication or, internal bleeding or something of the sort. That is how the three women found themselves back in a waiting room.
"Don't try and understand my mind Quinnie. Just follow me here okay?" Quinn turned to look at her. "Think about Blair. She had a beautiful blonde best friend who, let's face it, was her real true love, she was a bitch, head of the school, feared but envied, absentee parents who didn't really care about her so she ended up bonding with the help, super smart perfectionist…I mean come on!"
Quinn and Brittany laughed. "Alright, you make a good point" Quinn said, sitting up. "So who would that make Britt, Serena?"
"Obviously. Did you see her fashion sense?" Santana said. Brittany beamed at her. "Plus Blake Lively is totally the hottest celebrity out there. As if Britt could be anyone else"
"Okaayyy. Puck is?"
"Chuck…obviously. There is one hundred percent no difference between Puck and Chuck Bass." Brittany said. "Even their names are just one letter apart."
"Okay but now we have a problem" Quinn said.
"What?" Santana asked.
"Me."
"I agree that you are a problem, but you're going to have to be bit more specific on the how" Santana joked. Brittany laughed. Quinn rolled her eyes.
"Who am I?"
"Hmmm…Jenny?"
Brittany burst out laughing, her infectious laugh forcing Santana to break her straight face and laugh as well.
"Fuck you Santana" Quinn said, shaking her head and laying back across the chair.
"I guess you'd be Nate" Brittany finally said, recovering from her laughing fit. "I can see it. You're both blonde, he was a bully turned good, dated someone poor"
"What?"
"There was that girl…I don't remember her name. She was black-"
"No I know who he dated….but how is that something we have in common?"
Santana and Brittany turned to her like it was obvious.
"Sam" Brittany said. "You dated Sam, Quinn."
"He wasn't poor when I dated him."
"He wasn't poor when I dated him either" Santana added.
"Technically he wasn't poor when I dated him either actually" Brittany said, as though she was realising this for the first time.
"Where was he staying by the way?" Santana asked, looking curiously at Brittany.
"I'm not sure."
"What?" Quinn exclaimed, sitting up again. "What? How?"
Brittany shrugged. "I was barely in it that year. I spent a lot of time studying, barely put any effort into glee, I was missing Santana like crazy, why would I be bothered about whose house he was living in?"
Santana smiled internally. She liked when there was proof that Brittany was never truly invested in her other relationships.
"Wow"
"The point I was making though, is that I'm famous now. I could totally call up Hollywood and audition for the part of Blair Waldorf in the reboot."
"Are they doing a reboot?" Brittany asked excitedly.
"You're not even an actor" Quinn laughed.
"So? Rihanna is in like what…twenty movies?"
"Nah like 5" Quinn answered.
"No…" Brittany pulled out her phone and searched it up. "Yeah see?" she showed Santana.
"I knew it. These are definitely more than 20 movies."
"I love that you're comparing yourself to Rihanna"
"You're just saying that cause you were wrong" Brittany laughed.
"Anywaaay. Rihanna isn't an actor, and yet, there she is in 20 plus movies. So, I could totally be in a gossip girl reboot."
"I think you'd be great in a gossip girl reboot, but that's a series. Like multiple hours a day for years. You wouldn't have time to make music or tour or anything." Brittany said.
"Hmm…okay fair point."
"So that entire conversation we just had was completely useless."
"Sometimes I really dislike your party pooper attitude" Brittany said, standing up.
"Sometimes?" Santana asked, stretching.
"I'm just keeping it real" Quinn said
"That's my line" Santana said seriously, pointing at Quinn. Brittany grabbed Santana's hand and pulled her off the couch.
"Where are you two going?"
"NICU" Brittany replied.
"Why?"
"Cause babies are not party poopers."
"Call us if any updates come in for Puck" Santana said, allowing Brittany to pull her out.
They walked in silence until they reached the NICU, both lost in thought.
"Are we really about to do this?" Brittany asked as they stood in front of the window, looking at the sleeping babies.
"Do we have much of a choice?" Santana replied.
"You're a lot calmer about this than last time."
"Last time I was 23. Now I'm 27 and have already been through this before."
"You're a lot more optimistic than I feel."
"Why?"
"I don't know…I just feel really anxious."
Santana nodded. The adoption process was not something she had been eager to get back into. It was a long emotional roller coaster filled with waiting and anxiety, and she was so happy to be done with it the first time. Obviously she would do whatever it took to get the little boy she was currently staring at. She had decided to call him Niki for now, short for Nikiforov, a character in one of the animes Brittany was currently watching. He had white hair, which obviously she had no way of knowing if that would be the baby's hair colour, but it was the only other place Santana had ever seen those green eyes. Yes, she wanted to be this little tiny helpless baby's mother, she wanted him to grow up with Jesus and Kyler as big brothers, and fall in love with Pierce just as the twins had, but that did not mean she was looking forward to the probably six months of waiting and hoping and fear and anxiety she was about to undergo.
"Yeah I know." Was all she said.
An hour later, Brittany and Santana sat in a room on a side of the hospital they had never seen before, with their lawyer and a social worker, very similar to the meeting they had had almost four years ago in Brazil.
"Mrs and Mrs Lopez-Pierce, thank you for coming in today." The social worker said, sitting opposite them at the large oval shaped table that looked like it belonged in a board room.
"It really wasn't a problem at all" Brittany said.
"We're in the hospital anyway."
"Oh…are you alright?"
"Yes, it's not for us."
"My best friend got shot a couple of days ago"
"Oh" the social worker's eyes widened, and Santana saw the pieces coming together in her mind as she recognised them. It happened quite often that people didn't recognise them right away. Santana assumed it was because no one expected her to be in an ordinary place like the mall or the coffee shop, so it wasn't until she said something they know to have happened to her, like a concert, or mentioned someone they knew she hangs out with, like Puck or Quinn, that things finally seemed to click for them. "Santana Lopez" the social worker repeated under her breath.
"Pierce" Santana added.
"Yes, sorry of course. I am sorry to hear about your best friend, I hope he recovers."
"Thank you" both Brittany and Santana said.
"Can we proceed?" The lawyer asked. The social worker nodded, looking slightly frazzled.
"Yes. So we're here to discuss the fostering and potential adoption of the John Doe currently in the NICU of this hospital, now one week old. Is this correct?"
"Yes" the lawyer, Santana and Brittany all said.
"Great. So I think I'll start off asking a few questions, just answer them as honestly as you can. Don't worry about right or wrong, I just want to get a good idea of who you guys are and your lives okay?"
"Sure" Santana said. Brittany nodded.
"So I think that's it. You have gone through the adoption process before so I believe you know what to expect. You will need to renew your foster care license, but I'm sure your lawyer has already began that process. I will be performing an in-home inspection in a few weeks, assuming all goes well with our background check."
"Okay" Brittany and Santana said, both feeling that the meeting had taken three hours, not just thirty minutes.
"So we should be hearing from you within the month?" Brittany asked.
"Yes" they nodded. "Do you have any more questions from me?"
"Do you think this is going to go in our favour?"
The social worker looked at them silently for a few seconds, then stood up, packing her briefcase. "I'll be honest with you, because I like you both and you seem like great parents."
"Okay" Santana said tentatively.
"This case is complicated in similar ways, I believe, to your previous adoption. We have not yet identified the baby, and therefore have not done any research on potential family members that could take him once he is out of the hospital. That means that while you may have started this fostering process, it may well only be temporary."
Brittany nodded, taking in a deep breath. Santana reached over and took Brittany's hand, squeezing it reassuringly.
"However, based on the state he was found in" she shook her head, "I find it unlikely that the mother had a lot of family around to help her."
"What state was he found in?" Santana asked quickly. The social worker smiled sadly, shaking her head.
"I'm afraid I can't share that information with you Santana. Should he be placed in your care, you will be given those details that we deem necessary. Should the adoption be approved, then you will know the full details of the case."
Santana sighed in frustration, but nodded. She understood. When they were adopting Jesus and Kyler, the hospital only gave them medical information and updates once they had begun legally fostering them, and the social worker always told them that it was strange for her to be sharing such intimate details about one of her cases before the adoption had been approved. She only did it because Brittany and Santana already knew that the father and mother were dead, and the circumstances under which they had ended up that way, so she wasn't really breaking any rules. Here the situation was different. Santana knew this would be a lot harder for her.
"Thank you for making time to meet me today ladies" the social worker said as she closed her briefcase. "It was a pleasure meeting you, and again, I am very sorry about your friend."
"Thank you, I hope we'll be hearing from you soon." Brittany said, standing up as the woman walked out the door. She sighed and turned to Santana and their lawyer once the door was closed.
"Well ladies" their lawyer said, placing a hand on Santana's shoulder. "It has begun."
"Please tell me this is one of those times you brough- What the hell?" Santana frowned
"Where's your shirt Noah?" Brittany asked, passing him with Jesus on her hip and running exhaggeratedly down the stairs to make him laugh.
"Yeah where's your shirt?" Quinn asked.
"Look, I think your kids are uber lucky to have two mums. My life would have rocked if I did, and they're gonna grow up to not be as-"
"Hey" Brittany called with a raised finger.
"Dicks" Puck amended. Santana laughed as Quinn and Brittany both rolled their eyes.
"What does this have to do with your shirt?" Quinn asked.
"I'm getting to that, I just needed to say that so no one got offended."
"Oh god' Santana sighed. "Go on, what is it?"
"Your kids are boys."
"And?" Quinn asked.
"They need like…a dude role model." Quinn, Santana and Brittany looked at each other.
"I still don't see what this has to do with-"
"Look, it's cool to be a woke guy that knows about feminism and respecting women and stuff, but that doesn't mean you have to be a-"
"Watch which word you choose here" Santana warned.
Puck raised his hands.
"They need a guy to show them how to be a guy. That's all I'm saying."
"And this means you have to be shirtless?" Brittany asked, frowning.
"When have you ever seen boys under the age of ten in clothes? If I went back to my mum's house and dug out her photo album, there wouldn't be many pictures in there, but every one I was in, guaranteed I would be in my underwear."
"I'm not sure I want to raise my sons to turn out like you." Santana said cautiously.
"Dude it's not natural" Puck said. He finally walked down into the living room and lifted Kyler, who was kneeling in front of the couch Santana was sitting on, pushing around his cars. He squealed and kicked. Puck put him down, standing, and removed his shirt. Though confused, Kyler didn't protest.
"Me, me, me!" Jesus said excitedly jumping off Brittany's lap. Puck moved to him and removed his shirt too.
"We are men!" Puck bellowed, flexing his muscles.
The twins copied him.
"WE ARE MEN"
"Oh god" Brittany groaned.
As the boys followed Puck into the backyard, Santana stretched her legs over Brittany's lap.
"I think it's great that the boys have a man they can look up to." She said. "I'm not saying they need a man to learn how to be men, but it's nice that they have him."
"I never thought I'd be grateful to have Puck in my life." Brittany said seriously. "But I am."
"Puck's like that" Quinn said. "He's that guy that you keep around even though you have no idea why, and you can never get rid of him."