Chapter 4: Guilt

Sheppard was hot and thirsty by the time he and Ronon got back to the others. And frustrated. He wanted nothing more than to get Rodney's perspective, but he was doubtful that the scientist would be up to a discourse on the handful of ways a Stargate could disappear. Also, he was still feeling guilty as all hell about ignoring Rodney's symptoms. He sighed in annoyance when he saw Rodney out of the water, partially clothed (still shirtless and bootless), but then realized it probably meant his temperature was down. Relief followed this realization, and he headed over to them.

Two sets of eyes were watching his approach. "Well?" Rodney demanded, sounding much like his usual self. Sheppard nearly sagged in relief.

He refused to be derailed, though. "How're you feeling?" he asked. Rodney certainly looked better, although now he was pale, and he was still lying down, propped up on one arm to see Sheppard better. Teyla sat near his head, holding a canteen.

Rodney glared up at him, looking angry. Not that Sheppard could blame him. "Stargate," he demanded, struggling to sit.

Sheppard reached out a hand to help him, but Rodney shot him such a baleful look that he retracted it. "It's…gone," he finally said.

"Well, thank you Captain Obvious!" Rodney snapped, sounding like his old self again, but with possibly a bit more bite in his remarks. "Can you be a bit more descriptive?"

Ronon came up to join them, sinking to the ground in obvious relief. He was sweating profusely. Teyla handed him the canteen, and he took it, looking grateful. Sheppard watched him, worried. The heat was more and more oppressive, and he had no desire to see any more of his teammates succumb to heat-related illnesses. He swallowed and turned back to Rodney, who was giving him an annoyed look.

"Well?" Rodney prompted.

Sheppard sighed and sat next to McKay's feet. No point in asking him how he felt again. He was obviously far more interested in the Stargate. Typical McKay: technology versus health, and the tech would win every time. That was why it was Sheppard's job to guard his health. And he had failed at that, miserably. He looked at the ground.

"Colonel!" Rodney snapped. Sheppard jerked his head up, realizing he still hadn't answered the question. "Colonel," Rodney asked more gently, "You ok?"

That was too much. Now Rodney was worried about his health? He jumped to his feet and stalked away, muttering "I'm fine" over his shoulder. He walked just far enough to be hidden from view by the jungle and stopped, taking deep breaths. He knew puzzled looks would be following him. He had thought he heard Teyla say something as he walked away. He didn't care. He had to get some distance from McKay, and the anger and betrayal that had to be there. After all, he, team leader extraordinaire, had nearly caused the scientist's death by heatstroke. He leaned against a tree broodingly. Death. God. How many times had they come close to death since they had come to this galaxy? And yeah, maybe sometimes it had been John's fault. But always due to trying to save people, to do what was right. Never before had he nearly lost someone to something as stupid as inattention.

But Rodney was ok, he would be ok. He was obviously cooling down, and as long as they didn't try to make him walk back to the gate site until the sun set, then he would continue to be ok. Sheppard sighed, scrubbing his hand over his face. He was hot and tired himself, and realized he still hadn't had anything to drink. Well, as much as that would be poetic justice, he really couldn't abandon his people by killing himself from dehydration. Grimly he reached for his canteen, only to remember that it was over by McKay, full of salt water. Lovely.

He steeled himself and headed back to the group, sitting close enough to grab a canteen, but as far from the others as possible. He refused to meet anyone's eyes, but the sudden silence made him think that they had been talking, probably about him, and shut up the moment he came back within earshot. Great. Time for some damage control. "Had to visit a bush," he said, smiling weakly.

Ronon snorted, but didn't say anything.

Sheppard's eyes were still lowered, and he jumped back a little in surprise when a canteen suddenly filled his field of vision. He took it gratefully, glancing up as he did so. Teyla. Of course. "Thanks," he said, taking several long swallows. He made a face. Water purification tabs actually made it pretty nasty. But it was better than the alternative.

"That's the reaction I had," Rodney commented. Sheppard looked up to see blue eyes studying him. "Nasty stuff."

"But drinkable," Sheppard returned for lack of anything better to say. "How…uh…"

"Oh for God's sake!" Rodney snapped, throwing up his hands. "How am I feeling? I'm feeling peachy, Colonel! Never better! Especially if people would just stop asking me that!" He stopped to take a breath.

Wow. He must really be pissed, Sheppard thought guiltily. "Look, I—" he started, unsure of what to say, but needing to say something.

"So, you were telling us about the Stargate," McKay cut him off. "Ronon here filled us in while you were…ah…visiting the local flora. Did you have anything to add?"

"I doubt it," Sheppard said, grateful for the topic change. "It's not there anymore, and there's really no sign that it ever was."

"That's stupid; of course it was!" McKay snapped.

"I know that," Sheppard snapped back. "I'm just saying what it looked like!" He took a breath. He wasn't mad at McKay, and yelling at him wouldn't help them get home any faster. "Is there any way that someone could have lifted it?"

He was expecting ridicule, but Rodney just narrowed his eyes, gears turning. "It's…possible," he allowed finally. "They did move the Stargates on Earth, after all. And a ship could have lifted it, if it was a big enough ship."

"But would it not have left an impression on the ground?" Teyla asked.

"Yeah," Ronon rumbled in agreement. "Not to mention the DHD was gone too."

"Well, what else could it have been?" Sheppard asked them, but his eyes were on Rodney. If anyone could figure this out…

Rodney looked back at him for a moment, then his shoulders fell. "I've got nothing," he admitted. "I'm going to have to go see it. I'll think of something when we get there." He made motion as if to rise, and Sheppard stopped him with a hand on his shin.

"Absolutely not! Don't be an idiot!"

Rodney looked at him coldly and batted his hand away. "Colonel, I'm fine. And obviously your monkey brain isn't up to figuring out what happened, so it is, once again, squarely up to me to get us out of the mess that we've somehow gotten into. I swear, the universe hates us. It really does…"

"I didn't mean you couldn't ever go there," Sheppard said slowly, trying to keep his breathing deep and slow. Someday, he was going to die of a blood-pressure related stroke, and it would be Rodney's fault. "I meant you can't go there right now. It's far too hot to travel."

"Ah-ha, so you finally admit—" Rodney started, then broke off as Sheppard flinched and Teyla shot him a warning glance. Rodney cleared his throat. "As I was saying all along. Horrible hot planet," he finished weakly. "How many hours until sunset?" Teyla asked softly.

"Six or so," Sheppard responded after glancing at his watch. "But I don't think there's much we can solve at night."

"Wait, wait, wait," Rodney said, holding up a hand. "Are you saying we're going to spend the night out here? With no shelter, no food, lousy water…"

"We have power bars," Sheppard offered lamely.

"Only because someone had the foresight to bring them," Rodney said triumphantly, smirking. The smirk slowly dropped from his face when Sheppard didn't take the bait, though.

"Ronon and I both have experience making shelters," Teyla said, diplomatically changing the subject. "We can make something. And we have enough food for the night, Rodney. And plenty of water."

"Which tastes like ass," Rodney commented, shaking the canteen he was holding for emphasis.

"I'll help with the shelter," Sheppard said, struggling to his feet.

"Someone should stay with Rodney," Teyla pointed out.

"Oh, yes, because Rodney needs to be babysat," Rodney said snarkily. "Come on. We've seen no signs of large animals, and nobody's going far. I'm fine."

Sheppard sank back down to look Rodney in the eyes. "No, you are NOT fine. You might be able to ignore the fact that you almost DIED today, Rodney, but I won't! If you get overheated again, you will die, and I refuse to have that on my conscience!" The last few words he practically yelled in the startled scientist's face.

McKay took a moment to blink at him, then his eyes narrowed. "Oh, yes, we couldn't have your conscience bothered by my death!" he sneered. "Heaven forbid I would be the cause of making you feel badly about yourself! But fine! Have it your way! Go ahead and stay here and baby-sit me and save me from myself!" He was shouting now, too, and beginning to get red-faced.

Sheppard backed off a bit. "Calm down!" he said worriedly.

Rodney opened his mouth to say something else, but instead sank back onto the ground. "Fine," he muttered.

Sheppard looked up to see that Teyla and Ronon had already gone to make the shelter (cowards). He looked back at Rodney, who was now lying with his arm flung over his face, ignoring the world. Great. This would be a truly lovely afternoon, after a truly wonderful day. He flopped over in the grass with a grunt and lay with his back to McKay, lost in his own dark thoughts.