One morning in Wawanakwa, Gloria was just hanging around with the girls. While she was enjoying all the peace and quiet, things were tense between all the other girls. It could be because they never got to win the one week pleasure cruise, or that they have a hard time working out a few differences. Nonetheless, Gloria was determined to keep the peace as all future queens should.
[Gloria notices everyone glaring at each other and then walks up her teammates in hopes to break the tension]
Gloria: Hey, girls. [No one responded] Uh... I know things are tense between us and also you guys never won that... cruise thing. But let's not be mad at each other because Heather screwed up.
Heather: [Livid] Excuse me!?
Gloria: The important thing is we still got each other, and I'm sure that next challenge we get we will win.
Leshwana: I'm not winnin' anything with her! [Glares at Heather]
Heather: And I'm not doing anything with her! [Glares at Leshawna then a fly buzzes around her and lands on her nose then before she could shoo it off, Lindsay smacks Heather's face with her magazine.]
Lindsay: O-Oops…
Heather: Lindsay, you are a total–
[boat horn honks]
Gloria: [thought she swore] Heather!
Heather: It wasn't me you idiot!
[They all turned to see the boys have returned from their luxury cruise. One by one they all slid down the steps into the dock.]
Duncan: What a weekend! Woowee!
Owen: [pants] Oh, sweet mother of mirth! You can't buy that kind of fun!
Duncan: I think Owen and DJ took a real shine to those lovely ladies who served us hand and foot.
DJ: Hello! The spa treatments? My alligator elbows, totally gone!
Owen: [Feels DJ's elbows] Oooh! Like velvet.
[Confessional: Leshawna]
Leshawna: Psh. Those should've been my alligator elbows getting the hand and foot treatment!
[End confessional]
Owen: Anyone care for a chocolate coated cherry blossom?
Gloria: I'd love to. [Takes one and eats it] Wow, I never knew cherries could taste this good. [Offers some to the girls] You guys want some?
[Leshawna swats the box into the lake]
Owen: No! [cries]
Geoff: It's okay, dude. The ladies are just a little jealous.
Duncan: Yeah, who can blame 'em? They can barely stand each other, and meanwhile, us guys are tighter than family! Guys rule!
[Gloria sighed as the boys celebrated]
Gloria: Wish the girls were this close...
Chris: [through loudspeaker] Listen up, campers! As of right now, all teams are officially dissolved. From here on in, it's every camper for themselves!
[The boys break up the pleasantries after hearing the news]
Duncan: Ahem, well, uh, it's about time we flew solo.
Leshawna: Oh-ho-ho, I am feelin' that! Bring it on, Chris!
Gloria: Wait. What's happening to the teams?
Heather: They're gone, Gloria! You heard him. Every camper for themselves! Which means I don't have to be on the same team as you losers!
Chris: [through loudspeaker] Then get ready for this!
[They all heard another boat horn and they turned around and was frightened at what they saw]
Leshawna: You're frontin' me.
Heather: What? But that's impossible.
Trent: Aw man, what is she doing here?
Chris: [through loudspeaker] Back by popular audience demand, it's Eva!
[And he was right, standing on the tip of the boat was Eva herself with nothing but fire in her eyes. The men froze in fear by her wrath]
Eva: That's right. I'm back. And just to be clear, not only am I gonna kick butt, but I'm giving special attention to my backstabbing Bass team who voted me off!
Gwen: [to Chris] Wait a sec. You said no one is allowed back.
Chris: [through loudspeaker] I did?
Gloria: And once you leave you can never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever come back. Ever.
Chris: [through loudspeaker] Oh yeah. That. Yeah, I lied.
Gwen: You can't do that, it's not fair!
Leshawna: Whoa. Girl, you're reasoning with a loudspeaker. That just does not look good.
[Eva walked up to her former teammate and angrily glaring at her]
Bridgette: So, Eva, whatcha been doing since you left the island?
Eva: Taking anger management classes. I seem to remember you thinking I needed them.
Heather: [whispering] She was an audience favorite?
Chris: [through loudspeaker] Not really. But we liked her. Also returning to camp, it's Izzy!
Bridgette, Eva, and Lindsay: Oh, no!
[The crazy girl arrived swinging on a vine and landed near the girls]
Izzy: Hey guys! It's good to be back at camp! Even though I never actually left the island. I've been living in the woods all this time!
Gwen: But I thought the RCMP hunted you down.
Izzy: They tried. But being a wilderness survivor, I was swift-footed and avoided capture. [chomp] Once I was safe among my animal brethren, it was just me against the harsh elements.
Leshawna: You call this harsh? It's been warm and sunny all week.
Izzy: Not where I was! Luckily, there was this bear who took me in, I thought he was going to eat me but he was actually really nice.
Gloria: I know right? [Nudges Heather] Told you, not all bears are bad.
Chris: [through loudspeaker] All right, campers! Report to the amphitheater where you'll learn all about this week's challenge! Ksh. McLean out!
[Later, the two competitors had time to unpack.]
Eva: What's with the tape? Somebody better answer me!
Leshawna: Me and Heather here got a little uh, territorial. But we're all cool now. Right, Heather?
Heather: [Takes the tape off] Absolutely. Want my bunk, Eva?
Eva: [Points to Bridgette's bed] I want this one. Unless this backstabbing traitor who voted me off has a problem with that.
Gloria: Now hold on, there's no need for these kind of name calling. You know she had no choice. Don't forget we're all friends here.
Leshawna: Yeah, and don't forget we're all here to win.
Eva: Got that right, Sister Thunderthighs.
Leshawna: Oh, oh, oh. Tell me that the macho mama with butt cheeks tighter than my weave did not just say that!
Gwen: Woah! Timeout!
Lindsay: Can't we just talk this out over low-cal snacks?
Eva: Whatever. I'm still gonna win.
Bridgette: Hey, thanks for stepping in.
[Gloria carefully walks over to Eva]
Gloria: Hey, Eva. I hope that now that you're back we can start over. And since there are no more teams we can be friends instead of enem- [Eva grabs Gloria by the collar]
Eva: Don't even try to act nice to me, purple! I'm gonna win this game, and if you get in my way I will snap you in half! Got it!? [Gloria nods and Eva let's go] Good. [She leaves]
Gloria: Help me...
[Later, the remaining campers were gathered in rows of seats at the ampitheater]
Chris: Welcome to your next challenge! The time-honored game of torture. Say Uncle!
Gloria: Say Uncle? I've never played that game before.
Chris: You are all about to be out through the tests of endurance so insane, that some of 'em sent our interns to the emergency room. If you back down from the challenge or do not last the required ten seconds, you will be eliminated. The winner will not only be safe from elimination, but will win this luxurious trailer. Yours to take home at the end of the summer.
[Confessional: Gloria]
Gloria: So let me get this straight, in this game people hurt themselves for fun? How do you win? Staying alive!?
[End confessionals]
Leshawna: What kinds of torture?
Chris: Why don't you ask my lovely assistant? [Points to Chef, who was whearing a hockey mask and carrying a butcher knife] All right. Let's do this. Duncan, you're first up. Let's spin the Wheel of Misfortune to select your torture. [Spins wheel and it lands on a picture of a turtle] Turtle puck shots! Our interns spent weeks collecting the grumpiest, angriest, crustiest, hungriest old snapping turtles on the island. While you stand in the goalie net completely unprotected, Chef will fire off turtle slapshots. [As Duncan sees the snapping turtles he grew nervous] If I were you, dude, I'd protect my coconuts. This could get ugly.
[Chef fires the first shot and Duncan ducks, then the next one lands on his shoulder and bites causing him to scream in pain as Chef continued to launch more turtles into various parts of Duncan's body. He however, managed to last ten seconds before falling to the ground]
Duncan: Ohhhh...
Chris: And Duncan moves on to the next round! Isn't this fun?
Gloria: No! It's not fun! How can you subject people to this kind of touture all for just some crazy game!? I for one will not stand for this!
Chris: You won't will you? Then how about you're next? [Gloria gulps. Chef spins the wheel and it lands on a bag of marshmallows] Your torture is… marshmallow waxing! We're gonna wax every part of your body. If you can take the pain for a full ten seconds, you can go to the next level. [Chef poured out a bag of marshmallows into a boiling pots]
Gloria: Is there any chance I can not do this?
Chris: Sure, how do you feel about dark enclosed spaces? [Points towards an iron maiden and Gloria felt nervous] Still wanna back out?
[Gloria sighs and lies down on a flat metal bed awaiting her painful challenge]
Gloria: [thoughts] Okay, Gloria i'm sure you'll be fine. You had plenty of spa treatements like this back home. How hard can it- [Before she could finish, Chef poured the melted marshmallows and screamed in pain and after ten seconds he ripped off the wax and Gloria just screamed even louder]
Trent: Ouch. That had to hurt. [to Gwen] I don't think I would've made it through that one.
Gwen: That's because guys are total wimps when it comes to two things: beauty and pain.
Trent: [shudders] You got that right.
[After the pain the went away she took a moment to feel her face]
Gloria: Wow, my face feels really smooth. Beside from the excurciating pain, this treatment really works. [Gloria walks back to her seat] Hey, anyone wanna feel my face?
Heather: Ugh, weirdo.
Chris: Gloria since you didn't complain, you choose who gets to go next.
Gloria: Oh, no thanks. I don't want to subject anyone else to any- [Eva grabs Gloria by the collar] URK! [Eva whispers something in her ear] But I don't want to choose her, she doesn't even deserve it. [Eva whispers to her again] I am not choosing anyone and you can't- [Eva pulls back her fist ready to punch] Bridgette! I choose Bridgette! [Eva whispers to her again] With leeches? [Eva whispers some more] I can't really say that. [Eva holds out her fist again scaring Gloria] Because she is a backstabbing, low life traitor! Her words not mine!
[Chef sets down a barrel full of water and leeches]
Eva: It's payback time! [Points to Bridgette] TRAITOR!
Chris: All right, Bridgette. Time's a-wastin'. Get your butt in the barrel of leeches.
[Confessional: Leshawna]
Leshawna: Even though we all wanted Eva off the island, for some reason, that girl was gunning for Bridgette. I felt bad and all, but hey, better her than me.
[Confessional: Gloria]
Gloria: I really didn't want this to happen to her, but what could I do? Sure I could just stand by my objection but... I'm terrified by her.
[End confessionals]
Geoff: No, wait! I'll take her place!
Lindsay: Aww, That is so romantic!
Chris: Oh. And if your victim can last ten seconds without saying uncle, you get eliminated instead, which means you lose your chance to win this!
[Geoff walks to the barrel winking at Bridgette as he passes by. Then he dives in the barrel and lasted a few seconds before he couldn't take the leeches no more and jumps off at the last second]
Chris: Ooh… Close shave, Geoff. Nine and nine one hundred-thousandths of a millionth… Whatever. It's not ten. You're out. You can return to your new seat. [Geoff's seat was switched out with medieval stocks]
[The wheel spins again and it lands on a picture of shorts]
Chris: Owen, you're next.
[Cuts to Owen wearing wooden shorts]
Owen: Wooden shorts? Big deal. [Chef holds out a branch holding a woodpecker. Owen feared for the worst]
It wasn't easy for the rest of the cast as the challenge went on. Gwen got her nose hair painfully plucked. For DJ he was tightly constricted by a snake. For Bridgette, she wore a whole sweater of bees. And for poor Gloria, she had her back massaged painfully by angry cats with very sharp claws.
[The wheel spins again]
Chris: Our next challenge will be… spending ten seconds in a wooden crate with Sasquatchanakwa. Tough one. Bridgette, you haven't complained in a while, so you can choose the next victim.
All in the gallery (Excluding Gloria): Eva, Eva, Eva.
[Confessional: Leshawna]
Leshawna: Eva's hardcore. I was thinking that she could atually pull this off.
[Confessional: Gwen]
Gwen: If she picked Eva and she made it out alive, Eva was gonna be so ticked off.
[Confessional: Gloria]
Gloria: There's no way Eva will last even one second in there! Those guys are so irrationally angry. But deep down they're misunderstood. Oop! Uh... I mean, that's what I heard.
[End confessional]
All in the gallery (Excluding Gloria): Eva, Eva, Eva.
[They kept chanting until Bridgette nodded]
Eva: Here's a toe tag, surfer girl. You'll be needing it for later.
[Eva approached the giant crate and entered in without second thought. And for the whole ten seconds there were sounds of punching, kicking, and bits of fur was flying out of the holes. When she came out, she was wearing a hat and boots made out of the Sasquatchanakwa's fur.]
Gloria: [gasps] Oh, that poor creature.
Chris: Eva stuck it out, so Bridgette is out of the game! [Bridgette's seat was replaced with a pillory] Reckless choice by Bridgette. Still, let's give her props for sticking it to a teammate. Now let's see who showed less courage than Eva and cried uncle.
[Trent was hopping over some rocks with skunks inbetween them]
Chris: Ew! Love the skunk jump! [One skunk sprayed on Trent causing him to fall. Next, Gwen was forced to listen to some new age music] And the new-age music torture. [Gwen threw away the headphones before the ten seconds were up]
[Confessional: Gloria]
Gloria: [Listens to the New Age music] I don't get why they think music is torture. I mean, it sounds nice. In fact it sounds... soothing... it's actually making me- [Falls asleep]
[End confessional]
Chris: And a visit to the Wawanakwa Hair Salon! [Chef held Lindsay by the hair and held up a chainsaw. Lindsay immedeately ran away.]
[Owen's turn, his challenge was eating several tubs of ice cream]
Chris: Oh, and who could forget the old ice cream brain freeze?
Owen: [Finished the last tub of ice cream] Woohoo! [Then he got an excruciating brain freeze and ran off screaming]
[Next, Gloria was in front of a mat of hot coals.
Chris: The Hot Coal Walk. A classic.
[Gloria secretly waved her hands on her feet, sprinkilng them with fairy dust. Her feet then floated one inch away from the coals as she walked, surprising Chris and Chef]
Chris: [shocked] How did you-
Gloria: The heat is all in your head, really. I just pretended my feet were cold. [She walked away smirking from her lie]
[Izzy was next. Chef grabbed two electric eels and shocked Izzy with them. And she rather enjoyed it]
Izzy: [laughs] That was great! Hit me again! [She was zapped again]
Chris: Izzy, who's your next victim?
Izzy: Ooh, ooh, me! With a poison ivy spa treatment!
[Confessional: Leshawna]
Leshawna: Is it just me, or is that girl some kind of crazy?
[End confessional]
[Chris' phone rings and he answers it]
Chris: [Talking to the phone] It's Chris. Yeah, yeah. She wants to do it. [Hangs up] Okay. The judges will allow it, but they wanna know why.
Izzy: I just wanna see how it feels.
Chris: [Shrugs] All righty then.
[So Izzy had her face wrapped in poison ivy for the whole ten seconds]
Chris: Time's up. Chef, remove the poison ivy.
Izzy: [calmly] No, no. It feels great.
Chris: You stuck it out, but sadly, you eliminated yourself.
[Chef unwraps Izzy's face and her face was extremely swollen]
Izzy: [muffled] Look how big my lips are!
Chris: Eva, you're up. All right. After twenty rounds of torture, we're down to three steely competitors and the sudden death round.
[Confessional: Leshawna]
Leshawna: I did not make it this far to quit now. That trailer is in the bank, and it's got my name written all over it. Whatever he's got to throw at me, I'm gonna do.
[End confessional]
[Chris spins the wheel and it turned over to Leshawna]
Chris: Leshawna, it's up to you. Your final challenge is… The Grizzly Bear Log Roll.
Leshawna: The grizzly bear say what?
[Cut to Leshawna at the dock where a log with a bear at the other end of it was floating on the lake]
Chris: Molotov the Bear performs with the Russian national circus and has been the European log-rolling champion for the past twelve years. To win, you must last ten seconds on the log while avoiding certain death in the piranha-infested water. Leshawna, you could back out now.
[Leshawana was worried, but then she looked at the sparkling new trailer.]
Leshawna: No way! I've seen scarier looking faces at the mall. I'm going in!
[She walked onto the log as she tried balancing on it]
Chris: And go!
[The ebony beauty began running on the log while Molotov kept rolling in the opposite direction. Throught the required time she did her best to keep her balance. The bear smirked at Leshawna as he thought he won, but she kept rolling the log as fast as she could with a determined look on her face. Finally, she she stopped the log, causing the bear to fall into the water where pirahnnas chewed off all of its fur.]
Leshawna: Ha! And that's how I roll!
Chris: Leshawna wins! So Eva is out!
Eva: What?! No way!
Chris: Way. [Pushes Eva away] She wins the challenge, invincibility, and the grand prize!
[Chef presented the gleaming trailer]
Leshawna: Whoo! Yes, baby! Whoo! You lose, I win! You lose, I win! That's right, baby! Yeah!
Chris: While Leshawna checks out her trailer full of food and we check out her blood pressure, the rest of you can go to the confessional booth and vote off a camper. Other than Leshawna.
[Night falls, and it was time to vote a camper off]
Chris: Okay. So first up, we ran out of marshmallows.
Owen: NOOOOOOOOO! [Gloria patted his shoulder]
Chris: I've reviewed the confessionals and I have to say, there's lots of hate on in this group, which is awesome! While I normally protect your privacy, in the spirit of airing your dirty laundry, I'm gonna go live with your confessionals!
[A TV popped up showing all the campers confessions]
[Confessional: Heather]
Heather: Since Leshawna's immune, there's no other choice but rage-a-holic Eva.
[Confessional: Duncan]
Duncan: I vote for Heather because I know she's behind Courtney getting kicked off. You,l pay for that, toots! If you're watching this on cable, I miss you, babe.
[Confessional: Gwen]
Gwen: Eva's a freak. So, see ya.
[Confessional: Bridgette]
Bridgette: Please, please, Eva! I'm so glad you never air these.
[Confessional: Gloria]
Gloria: Eva may be mean, angry, vicious, and violent, but she's also strong, brave, and hard working. Also, I'm afraid if I do vote her she'll kill me. So my vote goes to Heather.
[Confessional: DJ]
DJ: Eva's nuts. Sorry, girl.
[Confessional: Geoff]
Geoff: It's gotta be Eva. Unless I can figure out who snagged my lucky hat.
[Confessional: Lindsay]
Lindsay: [Feels her lips] I just can't get over how smooth this is. Anyway, I vote off Ava 'cause she's scarier than Heather, Laquisha, and Gwen combined.
[Confessional: Eva]
Eva: Unless they wanna leave in body bags, they better not say my name. I vote for Heather.
[End confessional]
Chris: Lots of dirt revealed there, huh? But in the end, it was still six votes against Eva. So, adios.
Eva: What?! This isn't the end of me! You better watch your backs! I'm not done! I'll get my revenge!
[Scene cuts to Eva being hauled away in the boat of losers in a straight jacket]
Eva: I'm not done with you! Oh! And Izzy lied! She wasn't in the woods! She was–
Izzy: Wow. She has issues, huh? [nervous laughter] Party at Leshawna's new crib!
[They all went to celebrate in the trailer]