Disclaimer: I own nothing…
Summary: When Parker ends up in danger, Booth calls Brennan… A call that changes both their lives forever.
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: Well, I'm back with a new chapter. Finally. I just want to say thanks to everybody for your patience and understanding. I sure the whole Backstreet Boys thing may have seemed kind of stupid to some of you, but it really is a big thing for me. I've been a Backstreet fan for 9 years. I'm twenty. That's almost half my life that I've spent devoted to this band, so I was pretty broken up about the whole thing for a few days. My dog was terrified. He wouldn't leave my side for like three days straight. Every time I sat down, he was on my lap, and trust me he is not a lap dog… lol… Anyway, I'm better now. Not completely over it, as I assume I may never be, but I am getting pretty excited for their next album, even if it is without Kevin…
Again, thank you all for the reviews. They really do mean a lot to me, and I'm glad you're all enjoying the story. I hope to have a new chapter for you guys soon, but I may be on my way down to DC in a few days, so it may be a bit…
The song here is "Closer" by Blessid Union of Souls. Enjoy!
Closer:
Promises may get broken
But there's one thing that I know
He was sitting at her bedside, and they were both silent. Uncomfortably so. Both knew exactly why they were there, and neither was ready to discuss the issue at hand.
After a moment, Booth sighed. Leaning forward in his chair, he rested his elbows on the edge of her bed, catching her hand in his as he did so. His eyes locked with hers then, and he gave her a small smile. "I think Angela's right. Temperance, we really should talk about this…"
She pulled her hand back then, her eyes falling to the opposite side of the bed, where she could avoid his gaze. "There's nothing to talk about." Her voice was a bit colder than she had intended, and she immediately regretted it; though she was unsure whether she regretted the tone behind them, or the words themselves…
Booth sighed then, dropping his hands and sitting back in his chair. He had seen the panic in her eyes the moment he had opened his mouth, and he knew she hadn't meant to be harsh; she was simply frightened. "Temperance…"
"How's Parker holding up?" She cut him off; her question much more an avoidance technique than an actual curiosity, though he knew she truly was concerned for his son.
"He's doing alright. I don't think he completely understands everything that happened." He told her, his voice soft as he looked up at her, the corners of his lips curling up into a half smile. "All he knows is that you saved him, and right now, you're all he talks about. Of course, he always did like you…"
He laughed lightly at the curious look she gave him and continued with an explanation. "You know last Christmas? When he saw you at Wong Foo's?" When she nodded, he continued with a smile. "He was absolutely fascinated with you… Especially after I told him your name was Temperance – he wouldn't buy 'Bones'. Said I was crazy, and that wasn't a name."
She laughed at that, returning his smile. "At least he's got more sense than you."
"Yeah, well, he's been practicing your name ever since. That's why he's pronouncing it so well… He loves it. It's his favorite word…" Booth watched as Brennan smiled, the emotion in her eyes obvious. "Still sure you don't want any kids?"
"No… I want your kid." She told him, and he laughed just a bit as he tilted his head to look at her… And suddenly she seemed very serious. "He's amazing, Booth… Everything about him reminds me of you."
For a moment, he looked thoughtful, and then he reached out to take her hand again, locking eyes with her in the process. "Ready to talk now, then?"
His voice was gentle. He wasn't pushing, and it made her feel comfortable enough to at least consider it. And she did. For what felt like forever to both of them.
And then, she took a deep breath and dove in. "Yeah…"
Cross my heart and hope to die
If I should ever let myself
Be used again
As an instrument of my destruction
It's like tearing apart
It's breaking my heart
For you to see this side of me
The things I try my best to keep inside
Promises may get broken
But there's one thing that I know
"Temperance," he began softly, his hand still locked in hers as he watched her, choosing his words carefully, but honestly, "when I saw you there in that apartment, bleeding… God, in that moment, everything changed. When I thought I'd lost you…" He paused for a moment, fighting back the tears at the reminder of that night. And then his eyes met hers, and he held on to her just a little bit tighter. "I don't know if I'd be able to survive without you."
She stayed silent then, uncomfortable at the intimacy of the moment. She wasn't used to all the feelings she was trying her best to resolve, and knowing how strongly he felt for her only made things all the more difficult. And yet, she had already made up her mind that she wasn't going to turn her back on him… Because she knew perfectly well that if she were to do so, she would be hurting herself just as much as she would be hurting him.
I promise
I will hold you closer and closer
I will hold you in these arms of mine
I will hold you, hold you, hold you
Closer, closer
Over and over again
After what seemed an eternity, she spoke; the words clearly not coming as easily to her as she would have liked. "I think we both know that things have changed between us. But it's not something that just happened, Booth. It's been different for a while now…"
"You're right." He agreed with a soft smile. "It has been different for a while now. And, Temperance, I'm glad it's different."
"Me, too." Her eyes had dropped to their hands, and her voice was quiet, but she wasn't avoiding the issue, and it made his heart beat just a little bit faster and his smile grew as he watched her.
"What about David?" He questioned then, as his own eyes dropped to where their hands were still joined. "Where does he fit in?"
It was a completely logical question, but they both knew that in some ways it had been a way of sidestepping the actual issue at hand.Because as much as they both felt it, neither was ready to say the words that lingered in the back of their minds.
She bit her lip, contemplating the question, and never once meeting his eyes. Finally, she spoke, her voice full of uncertainty, "I honestly don't know, Booth… This is all so strange to me, you know? All these feelings I'm having toward you… It's so confusing. I've never felt this way before, and in the back of my mind, I have to wonder exactly how real they are…" She could see his heart sink at her admission. His eyes had fallen, and he had tensed at her words, suddenly on the defensive. She regretted saying it almost immediately, but she had to be honest with him, as well as herself. "It's not that I'm questioning what I feel for you, Booth, I'm questioning the strength of those feelings… What if the only reason I'm feeling so strongly is this whole ordeal we've all been dealing with for the past few days? You just told me everything changed for you when you saw that I had been hurt. What if this just some overreaction to our fear?"
"Do you really believe that, Temperance?" he questioned softly, his eyes finally meeting hers. "Because I don't think for a second that you do… Yes, I finally accepted all of these feelings when I saw you were hurt, but that doesn't mean they didn't exist before that. They did. But I've been trying my best to fight them off, just like you have."
"But the magnitude of those feelings has increase drastically since this whole ordeal, Booth. How can you be sure that what we're feeling is really real?" she questioned, allowing her eyes to meet his for just a moment. The emotion she saw there terrified her, however, and she immediately looked away.
Lost my mind
Somewhere between the drive home
And the key that turns my peace to rage
You're somewhere caught in my contention
As I push you away
Though I want you to stay and see a different side of me
But he wouldn't allow it. Reaching out, he placed a hand beneath her chin and gently urged her to look at him once more. When her eyes met his, he saw the tears that had formed there and he smiled softly, trying his best to ease her fears. She was scared, he knew, but he couldn't let her run away from this. Away from him…
"I know you're scared, Temperance. I am, too." He gave her another tiny smile, reaching out once more to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "But I know how I feel, and I also know that it's real. More real than anything I've ever felt before. When I saw you there, I would have gladly given my life to save yours… I still would, without any hesitation. I've never had that before, Temperance. The only other person in the world that I can honestly say I would do that for, without question, is my son."
She was silent for a few moment, one of those tears she had been holding back finally slipping down her cheek. He reached out to wipe it away, and the corners of her mouth turned up just a bit into something that he wasn't quite sure was a smile. "I'm scared, Booth," her voice trembled and she took a deep breath in an attempt to steady it. It didn't work. "I don't know if I can be the person you want me to be…"
"I don't want you to be anyone but you." His voice was soft as he watched her with concerned eyes, and after a moment of studying her face, he sighed. "You think I'll leave, don't you? You think that, because everyone you've ever loved has left, I'll do the same… You're wrong, Temperance. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."
I'm screaming
I will hold you closer and closer
I will hold you in these arms of mine
I will hold you, hold you, hold you
Closer, closer
Over and over again
She felt his hand tighten around hers and she gave him a little smile. "I just don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you, Booth…"
"You will never lose me." His voice was a mere whisper now, as his eyes locked on hers. In that moment, she didn't look away… Couldn't look away; there was so much meaning behind his eyes. "Never… Temperance, I..."
She cut him off then, her hand squeezing his almost painfully. "Booth…" Her voice was unsteady and it was as though all the color had suddenly drained from her face. "Something's wrong," she gasped out, trying her best to take in a deep breath.
For a moment, he wanted to scream at her interruption. She was so desperate to avoid the subject, and all he wanted to do was tell her everything… But his irritation faded when he felt her hand trembling beneath his, and he saw the sudden fear in her eyes as she sucked in deep breaths that didn't appear to be getting through.
And at that moment, it felt as though his heart had stopped.
"Temperance?" he forced out desperately, his voice barely more than a whisper.
Her eyes found his, and all he could see there was desperation as she tried in vain to pull air into her lungs. Tears filled his eyes as he watched her back arch in pain, her head pressed back into the pillow, tears leaking from the eyes she had squeezed shut tight.
It only took him a moment to react. Reaching over her; he hit the call button, calling out desperately for help, as he held tight to her hand, praying for her safety as the tears leaked from his own eyes as he looked on helplessly.
"Temperance?" he whispered again, his voice so quiet, even he wasn't sure it had left his lips.
She opened her eyes to look at him then. There was so much fear in his eyes, and it broke her heart to see him that way. To know the pain she was putting him through. Again. Tears fell from her eyes as she held on to him for dear life, panic taking over as she felt the world slipping away again.
And as she gasped for breath, all she could hear was the echo of the words they had left unspoken…
I don't want complication
Don't need this separation
No communication
When there's something wrong
Here I am
Come closer take my hand
I won't let nothing come between us
Only moments later, doctors and nurses had filled the room, but he had no idea how many, as his focus was completely on Temperance and the pain she was so obviously in. He could see nothing but her, and all he could feel was fear… And regret at never having told her exactly how he felt for her.
And as the nurses flocked around her, he heard only her heart monitor as it turned from the soothing, steady rhythm he had grown accustom to, to the shrill, constant tone that indicated that her heart had stopped. The tears flooded from his eyes as he felt himself being pulled away from her and as her hand fell from his, he felt nothing but dread, and he tried desperately to get back to her. The people around him refused to allow it, however, and he felt himself being pushed from the room and out into the lonely hall, tears still streaking from his eyes.
He watched through the blinds at the window for a moment, before they pulled them, stealing away his final link to her. He turned then, leaning against the window, before his legs gave out and he slid to the floor, burying his face in his hands.
A few moments later, he was only vaguely aware of the gentle hand that rested on his arm, and he somehow managed to make out Angela's voice through the silence that was screaming in his mind. She wanted to know what had happened, and even he couldn't answer that, and so he simply whispered the first words that came to mind…
"I never got the chance to tell her."
And it was then that he felt Angela's arms around him, and he fell against her, sobbing into her shoulder as he took what little comfort she was able to offer him.
I promise
I promise
I'm screaming
I promise
I will hold you closer and closer
I will hold you in this heart of mine
I will hold you, hold you, hold you
Closer, closer
Over and over again