A/N: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm 100x sorry it's taken so long to get this together. I've had such major writers block forever. Hopefully now I'll start pumping them out regularly.

I'm not going to lie. I was a little drunk when I wrote some sections of this, so if the continuity is weird, blame the Smirnoff company. I've gone back and re-read it and it sounds okay to me, but I was just giving you the heads up 

Read and review as always! Hopefully the next chapter will be up in the next week or two!

Or is this just fantasy?

One finger trailed down the edge of the black strap pulled tight across a lightly tanned and freckled shoulder, then deterring to dip and follow the path of a collarbone and then up the other side of the neck and to trace the jaw line. Lips followed the same path of the finger, hot lips with a hot breath that made her shiver. He trailed his fingers along the other strap, pushing it aside to kiss and nip at her shoulder. It continued on its path down and followed the line of the black lace that scarcely covered anything. She arched under his touch, exciting him even more. His lips found hers for the first time in weeks. A jolt of electricity shot through both of them, it felt like the first kiss they'd shared, uncertain but full of want.

His hands slid down her sides and rested on her hips, enjoying the silkiness of her skin there, he kissed between her breasts and down towards her navel before kissing his way back up and kissing the hollow of her throat, eliciting a soft moan of pleasure. He pulled her up into a sitting position and she threw her arms around his neck and his hands found the small of her back, dipping into the thin elastic that sat on her slender hips. He looked her in her eyes as she slid onto his lap. They were deep blue and burning with desire, and her lips were red and slightly puffy which went along with her flushed cheeks. He dipped his hands into the elastic again and pulled them down her thighs. As the black satiny material pooled on the bedroom floor he turned his eyes from what any man would be staring at at that point and looked at her.

"I need you."

Luke's eyes snapped open and he groaned as he found he was staring at the ceiling of the apartment. That was the third triple-x rated dream he'd had about her in the past two nights. He was so frustrated, sexually and just in general. He wanted nothing more than to go to her house and jump in bed with her and pretend like nothing had happened. It'd been almost two weeks with them not talking. Not that he hadn't tried of course. He'd foolishly thought that after a couple days she'd come to him, wrong. Of course he could have gone to her but he figured after the cold shoulder she'd given him the times he'd tried to talk to her that she needed time to cope with it by herself. But now, two weeks later, he was over it. He had to see her, he needed to see her.

Lorelai hadn't slept in days. She felt like an emotional wasteland. She didn't feel happy or sad or anything in between. She'd stepped in dog shit on the way to Weston's that morning and she hadn't flinched. Nothing effected her, and she felt like she effected nothing. She caught sight of her reflection in the window at Weston's and grimaced. Her hair hung around her shoulders, lifeless, and the bags under her clouded blue eyes were as big as grocery sacks. It was seldom she bothered with makeup anymore because she was just too fucking tired from tossing and turning all night to bother with it anymore. In the mornings she got up, took a shower, got dressed, and left. Sookie had commented on her appearance a couple times but after the last time and having Lorelai snap at her as hard as she had…she'd given up and had gone on maternity leave a few days earlier. Lorelai had taken to working solely in her office and only coming out to get a cup of coffee every now and then from Manny in the kitchen and to occasionally solve a problem with a guest. But other than that, she'd stayed in her phone and answered the phone and done all of her work from in there. On this particular day she sat at her desk going through the reservation book Michel kept and was entering them into the computer. Michel hated using the computers at the Inn and just kept all the records by hand instead…leaving someone else to do the real work. She was on number 12 of 46 reservations when her eyes drifted away from the computer screen and onto her surroundings. She glanced to her left and caught sight of the picture of her and Luke and Rory from the Firelight Festival the year before. Patty or Babette or someone had snapped it for them on Rory's digital and Rory had it blown up and turned into a black and white and gave it to Lorelai. They were all sitting on a bench with Rory in the middle, both Lorelai and Rory had coffee cups in their hands and all were beaming.

"We were happy then" Lorelai thought miserably. She glanced to the other side of her computer where a picture of her and Luke sat. It was one of those cheesy self portraits they'd taken outside one day, Lorelai had held the camera up at arms length away and snapped the picture. She'd missed half of her face but you could tell she was smiling and laughing and you could see Luke kissing her cheek.

Even in the past two weeks she hadn't been able to make herself move the picture. It sat there as a reminder of what she could still have…if she wanted to take it. Luke had come by the house a handful of times, wanting to talk to her and she'd shut him out. Most of the time she'd pretended not to be home and he gave up. He'd caught her outside once and they'd talked…briefly and she made up some excuse to go inside. Now she wished she'd just talked to him.

She sighed and went back to typing in entries when the phone rang. She ignored it and let Michel field it out at the desk, but he paged through on the intercom telling her it was for her, and that she needed to take it before his eardrums burst from the "insipid screeching".

"Dragonfly Inn, Lorelai speaking."

"Hey Lorelai, it's Jackson. Sookie just wanted me to call and let you know she's in labor."

Her heart dropped.

"That's great Jackson! Do you guys need anything?" Lorelai asked, I should get a Golden Globe for this performance…

"I think we're fine right now. Sookie just wanted you to know and the doctors said it could take a while but she wants you to come by in a couple hours, if that's okay."

"Yeah that's fine. I'll be there when I get off of work. Call me if anything happens and I need to come sooner."

"Will do!"

"Bye Jackson, Congratulations again."

"Thanks Lorelai, bye."

She wanted to die. Just shrivel up and die. She laid her head on her hands on the desk and sighed. She had some work to do until she left, and that would distract her from the whole thing until it was time to go. Her eyes lingered back on the picture for a brief second, and she started back to work on the reservations.

Less than three hours later Jackson called to tell her that things were moving faster than the doctor had predicted and they figured they'd have a new baby within the next hour and a half. Lorelai's heart clenched a little when she'd heard his voice, but she yet again faked cheer and told him she'd be there soon. She grabbed her purse, told Michel she was leaving and shut the door on his protests that she was leaving him to run the inn alone.

The hospital was impossibly white. Luke shifted in the uncomfortable plastic seats recalling in detail the last time he'd been in the hospital, just a mere two weeks earlier. He stared at his feet, noting that he needed new shoes, the soles of his well worn work boots were almost worn down to nothing. He really didn't know why he was even there, maybe it was a ditch attempt to see Lorelai because he knew she'd be there…or maybe it was because he was trying to be a good friend…or maybe it was just because he was a sadist. He wasn't sure exactly. All he knew is that he was sitting in a building he couldn't stand being in, was currently staring at his shoes, and that Patty smelled overwhelmingly of coconut.

She parked the Jeep in the hospital parking lot and turned it off. She rested her head against the steering wheel and took a deep breath. She had to be a big girl and suck it up and go in and be happy for her friend on one of the happiest days of her life, even if SHE was miserable.

She walked slowly down the halls of the hospital, her heels clicking lightly on the tile floor. Her purse tapped against her hip as the strap of it sat cradled in the crook of her arm. She stepped into the waiting room of the maternity ward and glanced around. Patty and Babette were conversing in the far corner, Jackson's sister and mother were sitting a few chairs down trying not to look disgusted by what Patty and Babette were talking about. She had just let out a breath of relief when she felt someone looking at her, she slowly turned around as she heard his familiar voice.

"Hi" he said softly.

"Hey…" she said, her breath hitching in her throat. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just asking myself the same question" he said, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

"Oh." She said, taking a seat across from him. She stared at her feet, examining the scuffed soles of her heels.

She looked better than she had two weeks ago, but not much.

Oh that was an asshole thing to think Lucas Danes. That was terrible. You should get smited just for thinking that. Of course she doesn't look a million times better, she had just had a miscarriage two weeks ago…I'm such a douche.

When Luke looked up again from his hands he saw that Lorelai had stood up and was picking up her purse.

"Are you leaving?" he asked, quickly jumping to his feet.

"No, just…need coffee." She said, averting her eyes from his gaze and trying hard not to notice that he'd just jumped to his feet the moment she moved.

She could feel him watching her as she walked down the hall towards the nurses station to ask where the nearest coffee machine was. She adjusted her purse on her shoulder and locked her gaze on the blue and white sign that read "nurse" ahead of her. She would not look back at him no matter how much she wanted to.

He watched her go, feeling a bit of comfort in watching the familiar sway of her hips as she walked away. It was a sway he'd watched from exactly this spot for 8 years. Well, not necessarily from this particular uncomfortable blue chair in Hartford Memorial Hospital, but from the same unattached and pining position he was in at the moment. He thought he was finally past all this bullshit, this wanting from afar crap that could only suit a suicidal 13-year-old female in a Shakespearian tragedy. He knew she wouldn't find any coffee up to her standards in the hospital and needed to go back to check on the diner anyway.

"Honey, leaving so soon?" Patty called from her corner.

"I need to go check on the diner, but one of you give me a call if anything happens." Luke said, surprising even himself with not only showing the fact that he held interest in Sookie's having of the baby, but with that he actually answered her. Patty seemed shocked as well, and he ignored her emphatic whispering to Babette, grabbed his coat and walked out the doors into the brisk mid-March air.

Lorelai returned to the chairs with no coffee and even grumpier and sadder than she had been before. Everything was pastel around this wing of the hospital. The "nice" lady at the nurses desk, "nice" being used in it's loosest context, had told her that the coffee bar down by the gift shop on the main floor should be open. Of course, it wasn't. She had trudged past the gift shop, averting her eyes from the large pink and blue bunnies, the "BIG BROTHER" and "BIG SISTER" buttons as well as the gigantic metallic "It's a Boy!" and "It's a Girl!" balloons amongst other congratulatory items. She stared intently at the floor, the tile alternating in a pattern of white and light gray until she had passed the aforementioned eyesore and was almost back to the elevators. Only then did she look up to press the up button and get in the elevator. It was going to be a long day.

By the time she'd gotten back to the lobby, Luke had left. She felt that familiar tightening in her chest that only surfaced when she missed him, which was all the time now. She sat down and rested her head on one clenched fist and closed her eyes. She could feel eyes boring into her and looked up to find Patty staring at her.

"Honey? You doin' alright?" Babette asked innocently.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired." Lorelai answered back. Technically it wasn't a lie, because she was tired…just not in the way Babette probably thought.

"Well it shouldn't be too much longer. Jackson came out and said they were moving her to delivery while you were gone." Patty informed her. Lorelai nodded and closed her eyes again, wishing everyone would leave her alone.

An hour later Jaycee Katherine Bellville entered the world after putting her mother through only 8 hours total of labor. Lorelai smiled and clapped and hugged Jackson like everyone else. They were informed that she would be in the nursery for everyone's viewing pleasure in about an hour and that visitors would be more than welcome the next day around noon…par hospital rules, not Sookie's.

Everyone crowed and hugged again when the visitation hours were announced and most packed up and decided that they'd just see Jaycee the next day. Soon the only people left were Jackson's mother and sister and Lorelai. She wanted to leave, like everyone else, but she thought as Sookie's best friend and Davey's, and unofficially Jaycee's, God-Mother she should stick around to see the baby.

Luke got back to the hospital almost an hour and a half after he left, thanks to traffic and a minor Taylor incident in the diner. He had a thermos of coffee in one hand and his other was shoved in his pocket. When he got into the waiting room and saw no one was around he was concerned, thinking something might have happened, but when he saw Jackson's mom and sister walking down the hallway smiling and chattering excitedly he assumed that the baby must have arrived. He congratulated the new grandmother and aunt and followed signs pointing to the nursery, where he had been told the baby would be in a few minutes.

He walked slowly down the hallway and his heart fell a little when he saw it was empty.

I guess she left. I really don't blame her. I wonder which one is theirs…

Luke peered into the nursery at all the plump babies that were either sleeping or crying. When he finally located the tag that said "Mellville" on it, it was empty. He assumed the baby wasn't in there yet, but would be soon so he turned around to sit in a chair opposite the viewing window and was shocked when he found himself staring at Lorelai.

"Uh, hi." He said, taking a step back.

"I thought you left."

"Nope. Well, I did to go check on the diner, but I came back…obviously. Oh, here. I brought you this." He said handing her the thermos. She smiled a little and looked past him into the window.

"They just brought her in. She's beautiful." Lorelai said, pointing towards the bassinette Luke had found earlier that now contained a pink bundle.

"I'm sure she is." Luke said, moving closer to the window. Lorelai stepped up next to him and leaned against the wall next to the window. He looked at her as she stared through the window at the dozen or so babies. She looked so incredibly sad he didn't know what he should do. Was this a time to talk to her, or to hold her, or to just let her come to him. He didn't have to wait long.

A second later a tear slid down her cheek and she covered her face with her hands as more leaked down her face. He stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her. She collapsed into him, burying her face in his jacket and letting all the tears she'd been keeping inside all day, hell for the past two weeks, come flowing out.

"Let's get you out of here." He whispered. She nodded and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and followed Luke out through the maze of hallways into an enclosed garden near the center of the hospital. He sat her down on a bench and sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned into him and the tears continued to trickle down her face.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. He didn't say anything but just squeezed her harder. Even through his flannel and long sleeved undershirt he could feel her hot tears soaking through to his chest. His heart was breaking into a million more pieces than it had already been in as he sat there holding her while she cried.

Neither one of them knew how long they sat there, nor did either one of them really care. When Lorelai's tears subsided and she was left with a faint hiccup she pulled herself out of the crevice of Luke's shoulder and looked at him. He brushed the tears off her cheeks and took her hand. She stared down at their hands and stood up, pulling him with her.

"We need to talk. But not here. Let's go say bye to Sookie and go home." She said softly. He nodded and followed her out of the garden and back through the halls of the hospital back to the maternity ward.

Lorelai knocked softly on the door of room 431 and pushed it open slowly. Sookie was sleeping and Jackson sat in a chair opposite of the hospital bed watching what Lorelai recognized as Lethal Weapon. He looked up when they entered and smiled.

"Did you see her?" he asked, beaming like the proud papa he was.

"She's beautiful Jackson." Lorelai whispered trying not to wake Sookie. "We just wanted to come and say bye. We'll let you guys rest and see you when you guys come home. Friday right?"

Jackson confirmed that they would be home on Friday. Lorelai hugged him and congratulated him one more time and Luke shook his hand before they left. He and Lorelai walked briskly though the halls of the hospital, both ready to get out of there. They stepped through the automatic doors and a cold March breeze smacked them in the face, causing both of their breaths to hitch a little on the intake. They walked through the parking lot towards both of their cars, they found the Jeep first.

"So…" Luke said.

"Can you meet me at my house in about an hour?" Lorelai asked, looking down at her feet.

"Sure. I'll meet you there." He replied.

I feel stupid just standing here. Luke thought.

God I feel like an idiot just standing here. Lorelai thought. Just as she looked up Luke reached out and took her hand and squeezed it before turning to go to his truck.

Maybe there's hope. She thought.

When she got in the car she pulled her cell phone out of her purse and flipped it open to check through her missed calls. That whole no cell phones in the hospital thing was irritating. She had a message and two missed calls from Rory and a missed call from, surprise surprise, Michel.

"Hey mom, it's me. Just checking in to see how Sookie is and if there's a baby yet! I'm guessing your phone is off 'cause you're in the hospital. Give me a call when you get this. I've got to work on my article for the Daily in the office for a couple hours, but I should be able to answer my phone. Love you. Bye!"

She smiled. She missed the kid. She dialed Rory's number and held the phone to her ear as she backed out of the parking spot. It rang twice before Rory answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey babe."

"Hey mom! How's Sookie? Do we have a baby yet?"

"Yep, Jaycee Katherine. She was born about two and a half hours ago. Perfectly healthy and beautiful. Sookie's doing great, we left her so she could sleep and I'm on my way home now. I'm about to hit a rough patch for reception, so I'll give you a call later. Are you still coming this weekend?" Lorelai asked.

"Yep. I'm going to leave tomorrow morning. I can't wait to see you!"

"I miss you. I can't wait to see you either, I love you."

"love you too. Bye mom!"

"Bye babe."

Lorelai hung up the phone and stared out the window in front of her. It was going to be a long evening.