Me: realizes I have a heck of a continuity error. Also me: let's not write for a month or two because that will help. Very smart. Anyways, we're changing some stuff from canon so bear with me please.

"Harry, dear, could you come down here please?"

A couple thumps sounded before the sound of pattering feet reached Petunia in the kitchen. It had been only a day since Harry's letter had arrived, and since then he and Dudley had shared their knowledge of something "awesomely weird" that had always happened if Harry focused or got mad or scared.

"What's up, Mum?"

"Well, as you know your letter requested an answer by the 5th, but this morning when I checked the egg carton our last three eggs had been replaced by more letters," Petunia explained. Harry frowned.

"That's awfully rude. You bought those eggs, they shouldn't have messed them up!"

Smiling slightly at her pseudo-son, Petunia continued. "Quite right, love. But that wasn't my point. I had been hoping to allow you another day or two to think it over, but something tells me the letters will only increase in frequency if we do not respond promptly. So, I have to ask, have you decided whether you want to go to Hogwarts or not yet?"

Harry's frown turned into a less severe, more thoughtful expression. "Well…," he began, "I don't really want to leave you and Dud for boarding school, even a magic one. And even though I really want to learn how to control my magic, it seems to me that these wizards aren't polite at all. Plus boarding school is very expensive, isn't it? And I wouldn't be able to help Dud with his homework either. What do you think, Mum?"

Petunia never ceases to be amazed at Harry's mind. He was so logical and mature in his process, just like Lily had been. "Well, you did a very good job at listing the negatives, what about the positives? A full, magical education, new people, places, and things to learn about. I'm sure you and Dudley would still be able to mail letters for help, and maybe there's some magical way of communicating more quickly!" Petunia paused for a moment, allowing Harry to ponder these points. "That being said, I cannot make this decision for you either. I will say only this— this was the world that both brought your parents together and took them from you. It is beautiful, wonderful even, but also dangerous. And I don't know what would happen if I lost you." Petunia's eyes started to well up slightly. "Take the rest of the day to make your decision, dear. Just let me know at bedtime."

Harry simply nodded, lost in thought. If Petunia knew him as well as she believed, and she did, he was off to write down lists and bounce ideas off of Dudley. And he went to do precisely that.

"Boys! Bed!" Thump-a thump-a thump-. "No running in the house!"

"Sorry Mum!" They chorused, both climbing into Dudley's portion of their bunk bed. Petunia let out a fond sigh, before turning to Harry.

"Well, dear? Have you decided whether you want to go to Hogwarts?" If there was a slight tremor in her voice, neither boy noticed.

"Yeah Mum. Dudley and I were talking about it all day! And I decided that if Dudley can't go too, I'm not going to go. There has to be another Wizarding school that isn't a boarding school, right? Maybe a mail-order course or something? Or I could go back-and-forth using that green fire you mentioned?"

Petunia smiled widely, very pleased with Harry's choice. "Alright, love, that sounds like a wonderful idea. I will write to Hogwarts as soon as you are both in bed. For now, however, it's time to pick a story."

With a mere glance at each other, both boys exclaimed, "Sherlock Holmes!" Petunia let out a chuckle. Sir Doyle's works had been a favorite as of late, and both her boys were becoming increasingly skilled at deduction and sneakiness as a result.

"Holmes it is, then. Baskervilles tonight?" Both boys nodded, Harry clambered to the top of the bunk bed, and Petunia began to read.

Dear Prof. McGonagall:

Harry and I thank you for the kind invite to attend your school, but Harry doesn't think Hogwarts will suit him. Is there, perhaps, an option for him to commute by Floo or other means instead of boarding? If this is not the case, do you know of other options for schooling that may be done by commute or mail? I thank you again for your time, and hope I haven't inconvenienced you.

Sincerely,

Petunia Evans

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore had seen many things in his many years, both before and during his tenure as Headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He had enough titles that listing them all would make a scribe's hand cramp for at least a day, and was widely renowned as one of the wisest wizards of the last two centuries. So when Severus Snape entered the Chief Warlock's office and saw a worried, confused expression on the aged brow, he knew something must be terribly wrong.

"You wished to see me, Headmaster?" Snape drawled.

"Ah, Severus m'boy! Lemon drop? No? Well then, please, have a seat." He waited for Snape to gracefully alight upon the chair. "Now, MinervA received a rather interesting letter this evening, from an old acquaintance of yours. A Miss Petunia Evans?"

Snape's usually emotionless face was replaced by a look wide, furiously blinking eyes. "Tuney? I thought she had married. Dursley, that was the name! Great whale of a man, as I reca. Why in Merlin's name did that… woman… send a letter to Minerva, especially under her maiden name?"

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with his response. "Well, Severus, it seems that young Ms. Evans has changed quite a lot in the past ten years or so. From what I've discovered, she has divorced from Mr. Dursley after some sort of violent altercation took place. She now lives in a small flat with her son, Dudley, and her nephew, one Harry Potter."

Severus's eyes bulged once, before he finally managed to replace his mask. "Potter? I wasn't aware he had been placed with his aunt. He would be getting his letter this year, I suppose. I presume she's treating him like a pampered little prince, just as James was. And he probably bullies his cousins to boot. That doesn't explain why Petunia sent a puzzling letter to Minerva, however. Should it not have simply been her confirming the boy's intended arrival?"

"Ah, Severus, therein lies the point of our meeting. Here, read for yourself." Dumbledore passed the letter to Snape, who quickly scanned the short page.

"She can't be serious! Mail-in, commute, these simply aren't safe options, particularly for Potions and practical work! Leave it to Potter to try for special accommodations, arrogant and spoiled, just like his father."

Dumbledore hid his delight at Snape's easily foreseeable reaction, instead adopting a sorrowful expression. "Now, Severus, let us not be hasty. It is possible young Harry had no knowledge of his letter's arrival, or his aunt's reply. I need to send someone to see if this is a true request from the boy himself, or merely a magic-abhorring Aunt attempting to deny her nephew's more… gifted traits."

Face starting to tinge red with poorly disguised anger, Snape answered in a low, silky voice, "And I suppose you wish for that someone to be me, Headmaster?"

Dumbledore's eyes merely continued to twinkle, a benign smile in place. Snape rose, gave a stiff nod, and stalked back to his own quarters. As he left, he spoke over his shoulder,

"I shall pay dear old Tuney a visit on the morrow. Good night."

After the door had shut and Snape's footsteps had faded away, Dumbledore let a true grin fall onto his face. Everything was back on track, precisely according to plan.

Hi. So I realize it's been awhile, and I'm very sorry for that. Not to give excuses, but I had a class that just finished with a 90 assignments per week minimum, and I really had no free time because of it. I also realized I had written myself into a continuity error accidently, as Harry's letters began arriving before his actual birthday in canon. When I saw this, it took me longer than it should have to convince myself that I hadn't ruined the story, and I could continue with a slight change. But anyways, enough about me. I should be back to updating at least every couple of weeks, hopefully, now that my schedule is cleared up more. Stay safe and healthy!